thelurker Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 Kicked in the balls/hit with a football was sore. Worst I've had was being hit with a hockey ball. Guy in front of me deflected it up from about a yard. I felt sick and had to sit down for 10 mins. Worst I've seen was one of the Stirling uni students(the ones that didn't sing THAT song, and get suspended) being hit from a full blooded lifted hit. He lay on the ground squealing, couldn't move him for 5mins, then when he was moved he vomited. They ended up calling an ambulance. Didn't hear anything else, so assume he lived... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 Kicked in the balls/hit with a football was sore. Worst I've had was being hit with a hockey ball. Guy in front of me deflected it up from about a yard. I felt sick and had to sit down for 10 mins. Worst I've seen was one of the Stirling uni students(the ones that didn't sing THAT song, and get suspended) being hit from a full blooded lifted hit. He lay on the ground squealing, couldn't move him for 5mins, then when he was moved he vomited. They ended up calling an ambulance. Didn't hear anything else, so assume he lived... No guarantee of that, you wouldn't hear anything over the siren. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EdgarusQPFC Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 Any sort of pain/injury to the bollocks is just fucking awful to imagine and considerably worse to endure. I think it was Robin Williams who referred to it as a "total system reset" it really is. Unless your some kinda pain loving psycho, you need 5-10 minutes to get your faculties back together. Lad I used to play football with years ago had a beast of a right foot and one unfortunate night when I was in goal he fired a football right into my baws, it was fucking brutal, my knees were collapsing before the football had finished firing my bollocks half way back down my throat. Naturally like most I fell into the fetal position and remained there for most of the next 15 minutes. After which I felt barely brave enough to sit up and make sure they were still attached. They were, but they were quite tender for most of the next day. Of course during my own personal hell, my friends found the situation hilarious, there was much literal rofling at my expense and the chap who fired the shot was happy to admit between tears that he hit exactly what he was aiming for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 Here's the best advice that you will ever hear: Never, under any circumstances, get the snip under local anaesthetic. "Hello surgeon! Please cut my ball sack open and pull my spunk delivery tubes out through the hole and scalpel the fuckers while I'm wide awake. Thank you!" I'm now doubled over and cringing at the thought of this. Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 Although we have all shuddered reading through this topic I bet not one of us won't pish ourselves laughing the next time we see someone getting sconed in the clackerbag Next time a woman says child birth is more painful then just do what I do. Ask if they have had more than one child, or if they would have another child. The answer will likely be "yes". You then announce that you would gladly never be hit in the stones ever again. Quite clearly that is a rational reason as to why getting hit in the baws is worse than childbirth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 10 'awesome' nutshots. Prepare to wince: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romel Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 I got hit in the right testicle by a tennis ball which was travelling at some speed when I was 14. The little b*****d who was responsible put a lot of spin on the ball, so it hit of the side of my ballsack then spun off. This meant it got a finer touch instead of simply crashing into my entire bollock/penis area. The precision of the shot meant it hurt a bit more. Absolutely agonising and I was on the ground for longer than a minute before I hopped away. The point here is that I still often wake up with a sharp pain going along the outside of my right ball, which leads into my stomach. I should probably go to the doctor but I'm too scared I'll be told I'm not able to have kids or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eindhovendee Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 I got hit in the right testicle by a tennis ball which was travelling at some speed when I was 14. The little b*****d who was responsible put a lot of spin on the ball, so it hit of the side of my ballsack then spun off. This meant it got a finer touch instead of simply crashing into my entire bollock/penis area. The precision of the shot meant it hurt a bit more. Absolutely agonising and I was on the ground for longer than a minute before I hopped away. The point here is that I still often wake up with a sharp pain going along the outside of my right ball, which leads into my stomach. I should probably go to the doctor but I'm too scared I'll be told I'm not able to have kids or something. What else are you thinking of having? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romel Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 What else are you thinking of having? A 45 minute session in the Jacuzzi at Virgin Active tomorrow. That'd be fucking quality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 rugby player Paul Wood lost a testicle http://msn.foxsports.com/other/story/Rugby-player-loses-testicle-in-match-100812 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddiemunster Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Getting booted on the smelly bridge is no picnic either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
endieinreekie Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Guy I used to play cricket with had to have a nut amputated after going out to bat one day without a box and getting a fast one which he missed right in the crackerjacks. It ruptured one of his pods Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RadgerTheBadger Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Power shower on the baws though... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-tPEq-ddmA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milton75 Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 A friend of mine once but Vicks Vaporub on his balls. It was in Wilkie House on the Cowgate in about 1999. We'd taken pills and the vaporub had been getting passed around as one of his palls insisted it gave you "a rush". Judging by his little performance, I would not recommend putting it on your balls. It is a bad idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forever_blue Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Playing football with the school and my mate who was a striker goes in for a fifty fifty slide for the ball with the opposition keeper, when all of a sudden their keeper let out the most intense scream I gave ever heard. And was rolling about in agony before just lying in almost the foetal position whilst the screaming continued, turned out that however they both slid it ended up with keeper catching ball and my mate catching his two with studs side of his boots. Poor guy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EdgarusQPFC Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 Few months ago I had suspected testicular torsion, I was in alot of pain and had to leave work to go to an A&E. After being checked out (having pretty female doctor inspect my groin wasn't as fun as it sounds, even less so when she got a male doctor in for a second opinion) They diagnosed me with inflammation in my groin and therorised that it was pressing on a nerve. Was given pain killers and antibiotics, I'm telling you the sensation of someone pulling on your balls every ten seconds or so is best avoided Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 I think the evil side of me has just devised a Dark Ages style torture technique: Crush a guy's right (or left) bollock with a hammer blow, let him soak up the pain and slowly recover for a few hours... and then threaten to do the other one to repeat the whole process. Even Daniel Craig's James Bond would surely spill the beans. Sometimes I hate myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 I have had varicose veins in my nuts Epididymal cyst Vasectomy My nuts have been through the mill but are still functioning at a high level I've had the same except the varicose veins. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EdgarusQPFC Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 I think the evil side of me has just devised a Dark Ages style torture technique: Crush a guy's right (or left) bollock with a hammer blow, let him soak up the pain and slowly recover for a few hours... and then threaten to do the other one to repeat the whole process. Even Daniel Craig's James Bond would surely spill the beans. Sometimes I hate myself. Sometimes I hate you too That's fucking evil!Having one stood on by the heel end of a stiletto til it pops. Rinse in bleach and repeat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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