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Testicles


robosaintee

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Its' an issue.

The testicles are in a wee bag outside the body for optimal temperature to produce sperm. Unfortunately, this leads to many instances of injury. You'll know the feeling. The pain up the side, the sore head and can even lead to vomiting if a particularly powerful ball shot is received.

I got a wee bit of deep heat on my balls tonight. I was trying to soothe sore muscles from my bike saddle. Ouch, it burned!

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I once had a testicular cyst when I was twelve. My baws swelled up to the size of an orange. Best comment was pre op from my mum.

Don't worry son, if you lose one they can give you a fake one.

Thankfully both testicles are still intact.

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I got knocked out cold by a golf ball one day, right in the side of the head, same day a friend got taken to hospital to be treated after he got hit too, his injury was a "twisted testicle", think I got much the better deal

Where were you golfing, Chechnya?

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in fact I'm in a Finbarr Saunders sort of mood so....

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I was told by a female Scottish International footballer once that a ball in the "jackie danny" also hurts. Perhaps not as much as a ball to the steens but it's nice to know our footballing sisters also suffer.

Watching City go limply down to a cup final defeat by Spartans (one of many) I got a ball straight in the haw maws. But rather than show any weaknss in front of the Spartans fans I showed no flicker of emotion and just stood there like a man. A man with two extra cheekbones granted, but a man none the less.

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Here's the best advice that you will ever hear:

Never, under any circumstances, get the snip under local anaesthetic.

"Hello surgeon! Please cut my ball sack open and pull my spunk delivery tubes out through the hole and scalpel the fuckers while I'm wide awake. Thank you!"

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When I was at school I thought I had cancer in mine. Went to the school nurse who told me it could be cancer so go to the doctor. Shit myself for days waiting for the appointment. Turned out to be a cyst and I had none of the symptoms of it being anything worse than that. Shit school nurse had be petrified.

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I got knocked out cold by a golf ball one day, right in the side of the head, same day a friend got taken to hospital to be treated after he got hit too, his injury was a "twisted testicle", think I got much the better deal

Explains a lot.

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My worst experience to.date with my testicles was a couple of years ago I was getting really sore pains in the area just below the stomach and went to the doctors. He examined my stomach and that general area then asked me to drop my skants and started cupping my ball and feeling for any tenderness. This was a 65 year old man. Luckily no arousal happend.

A close second was the time when I was about 14 being cheeky to my mum at Grahamston station and she whacked me in the balls with her shopping bag which also had an extremely hefty purse full of coinage. I then vomited on platform 2 under the stairs :(

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