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Mark Walters was the lovechild of Julie Walters, Walter Matthau and Walter Smith.

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Bela Lugosi had a Melrose Rugby Club tattoo which is why he never got the role of Frankenstein's Monster as one of the producers thought rugby was for poofs

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Roman Reigns is in American rock band Korn.

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The "Show Racism the Red Card" movement has been banned in the US after complaints from the Red Indian Nation aka Native Americans.

Particularly aggrieved were the Pawnee, Cheyanne and Apache tribes when a spokesman for the "anti racism" group commented that they'd soon have to "circle the wagons to deflect the arrows of discontent".

Edited by dee_62

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In he 1980s when we apparently reached "peak racism" during the Mark Walters banana incident, what we were were witnessing wasn't a blatant act of racism from a vile football club. It was actually a protest against those who once mocked the Irish during the famine by sailing large boat loads of bananas in and out of Dublin harbour to tease the population, highlighting the fact that in the Walters incident, it was in fact the Celtic fans who were once again, the victims.

 

It is also true that when he was appointed Celtic coach in a mocking gesture to racists John Barnes sailed up the Clyde in a banana boat.

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It is also true that when he was appointed Celtic coach in a mocking gesture to racists John Barnes sailed up the Clyde in a banana boat.

The 1st ever banana boat sank, it wasn't until the moody Monkees guitarist Mike Nesmith's mam (she who invented tippex) put aside her pie-making skills & concentrated on how to make the heavy unwaterproof banana a useful boat building material. She spent 20 year of her life trying to develop a banana waterproofing substance all to no avail.

She had her eureka moment whilst at her sons groups video making of the popular hit "Randy Scouse Git", when former Corry Star Davie Jones was relegated to drums for this session because of a sore throat (this was before Mike's mam had invented strepsils) he was wearing a pair of pre-Connolly (Billy) inflatable banana boots.

Bingo (which she also invented) she exclaimed whilst rising naked from the bath. (Wid). She got wee Davie's attention (& a 3min quickie) before finding out where he got the plastic inflatable banana boots from? (K-mart Hollywood aisle 17). So whilst lying in bed smoking a pipe she interrogated him more & found out that as a child back in Manchester (England) he was a big (5'6") Man City fc fan & every home game was to be found monkeying around on the Kippax.

She thought "hey-up" (taking the pish out of his accent but only in her head because although the wee Manc was short in stature he was hung like a horse, it's something in the water ((river Irwell)) over there & she fancied another wee jockeying, when he'd recovered).

She liked the sound of the Kippax, it followed on from her Tippex & Tampax (which she also invented) range of products.

Sadly she died (the coroner said Manc shagitus was the cause, this was before her ghost invented Viagrex). So she never got to build the worlds first ocean going banana boat.

In fact her moody guitar playing Monkee, annoyed to find out that wee Davie has shagged his mam (& to death made it worser) sold off all her inventions to the Germans (cos he was also sick to death of hearing Wee Davie singing "2 world wars & 1 World Cup" during the tea-breaks whilst recording the incredibly successful the The Monkees tv show), Mikey lost a fortune but had a great moral victory.

Grimbo

Eta whatever happened to the inflatable bananas I hear you ask (Oi Throbber wake up lad)? Well the totally none racist Man City fans heard about the inflatable Kippax banana (invented by Besse Nesmith - mother of moody Monkees guitarist Mike aged 71) & they took to it like an hot pie eating contest & devoured them for fun & frolics all over the ground (although they felt more at home on the great Kippax stand).

^^^

Too long did not write.

2nd Eta whatever happened to Imre Varadi?

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I am the Guinness book of records holder for the longest ever "Facts You Made Up" fact.

& the most TLDNR collection of posts

Sadly he failed to complete his hattrick with biggest Roaster ever to darken P&Bland, that title went too...

I'm not telling

Oh f**k how do I sign off without making it look like I'm the winner?

Grimbo

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April Fool's Day is banned in Uzbekistan. This is due to the 1961 three day border war with Tajikistan caused by an April 1st front page headline joke in the Uzbeki state national newspaper implying that the Tajiki state premier didn't know how to play bowls.

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Sebastian Schweinsteiger's football talents were first spotted in his father's butcher shop, caught playing keepie uppie with a pork pie by a customer who happened to be a Bayern Munich scout.

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April Fool's Day is banned in Uzbekistan. This is due to the 1961 three day border war with Tajikistan caused by an April 1st front page headline joke in the Uzbeki state national newspaper implying that the Tajiki state premier didn't know how to play bowls.

In the 1973 annual Stanley Cup played between the two countries the match was abandoned when the Uzbeki fans turned up in bowler hats. The boiling point was when a ball boy who worked for the Uzbeki KGB replaced the ball with a painted bowling ball at a goal kick resulting in their goalie breaking his foot.

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In the 1973 annual Stanley Cup played between the two countries the match was abandoned when the Uzbeki fans turned up in bowler hats. The boiling point was when a ball boy who worked for the Uzbeki KGB replaced the ball with a painted bowling ball at a goal kick resulting in their goalie breaking his foot.

The match was not actually abandoned but FIFA made them replay the match (whilst imposing a strict ban on the bowler hat craze) The Uzbekistan team coach was none other than former nazi paratrooper Bert Trauteman who told his broken footed keeper to stop fookin about & went on to tell him about how he'd played in an FA Cup final with a broken neck whilst wearing a flat cap. Unfortunately his advice cost them the game, his job & the keepers ability to walk.

Grimbo

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In the interest of religious harmony his right foot was cathartic.

I believe in common parlance his right foot was a left footer & refused to kick a ball on the sabbath.

He had similar religious upheavals with his teeth, their bickering & constant chattering prevented him ever playing for the ugly sisters, luckily for him.

If it wasn't for Johan Cruyff's Jewish knee he would never have been able to develop his turn.

Edin Dzeko has a Muslim forehead that is explosive in the box.

Grimbo

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1870s American immigrant Germaine Hitler spend the twilight years of her life desperately trying to rebrand her self-named beer brand, 'Hitler'. Lightning struck twice decades later when the company scrambled to change its name from 'Mao' to it's present name 'Budweiser'.

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Ed Milliband inherited 30% of lucozade stocks after a factory in Milton Keynes closed down. As Energy Secretary, Milliband signed a government contract ensuring that liabilities in connection with a previous take over deal would transfer to the state. However a mistake in the write up meant that Milliband personally benefited.

He donated profits to a dog charity run by Dwight Yorke.

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Following the critical success of their WW2 miniseries Band Of Brothers, HBO executives hurriedly greenlighted a one off movie length sequel 'Band Of Brothers 2 - Mission To Africa', which saw the veterans of Easy Company fly to a fictional African country, overcoming a small army, and rescuing a tribal leader before being double crossed by a corrupt Nixon Administration.

 

It was dropped after it was pointed out that A - it could be seen as insensitive and B - it was exactly the same plot as 1978's The Wild Geese, starring Richard Burton and Roger Moore.

 

Disney have since bought the rights and intend to turn it into a franchise, with 'Band Of Brothers - Raid On Kronos V' (The remaining men of Easy Co. are accidentally cryogenically frozen and revived in the year 2230) already in pre-production.

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