Ross. Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 Pizzas were originally triangular in shape. The first round pizza was made in the Italian town of Fornaci, when the then unknown local chef Federico Hipsterami Beardiaccio realised that by making the slices isoscelese in shape and placing them with their acute angle as the touching point, you could save storage space. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 ISIS will wipe themselves out, Highlander style, once they realise just how shite their beards are. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 40% of brown haired males grow ginger beards, hence 30% of all attempted beards fail due to potential ginger ridicule. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 Pizzas were originally triangular in shape. The first round pizza was made in the Italian town of Fornaci, when the then unknown local chef Federico Hipsterami Beardiaccio realised that by making the slices isoscelese in shape and placing them with their acute angle as the touching point, you could save storage space. Pythagoras invented calzone by mistake when folding pizza in 1603. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dee_62 Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 The original manuscript for the first James Bond novel (Casino Royale) was written by Enid Blyton and passed to Ian Fleming as the result of a drunken bet just after the war. Fleming had to make a few changes....name, plot and species. But apart from that, "Mr Tiddles and the naughty bunnies" is pretty much Le Chiffre and SMERSH straight off the bat. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 New BBC news girl Ena Millar is actually white and Danish but has to black up each morning and put on a Scottish accent so that BBC Scotland can meet its equal opportunities targets. She was actually a document control assistant at the BBC and up for redundancy, but they were forced to offer her the internal news reader role because of employment law. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 Princess Di was killed due to her stealing the recipe for Big Mac sauce. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 New BBC news girl Ena Millar is actually white and Danish but has to black up each morning and put on a Scottish accent so that BBC Scotland can meet its equal opportunities targets. Lesbianism is not really a disability, you are so in trouble Mozza x2, mods please. Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted March 8, 2016 Share Posted March 8, 2016 Aggregates of worldwide censuses show that lesbians are the demograpic most likely to live in canal boats. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connor1874 Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 Edinburgh Castle collapsed in 1963 when the first American tourists stepped on the esplanade. More volcanic rock was built on top of the existing pile to strengthen the castle before it was completely rebuilt and opened in 1965. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 Edinburgh Castle collapsed in 1963 when the first American tourists stepped on the esplanade. More volcanic rock was built on top of the existing pile to strengthen the castle before it was completely rebuilt and opened in 1965. The collapse was in the summer of 63 & the bad winter put repair work back 2 years. InI the mean time, a false castle was built at Cameron Toll, now the site of the Sava Centre. It was more Disneyfied than the real thing but the Yank tourists loved it, especially the bloke running round in the greyfriars Bobby outfit. The money they made was so much that the brand new "olde" Edinburgh Castle (est 1965), was twice the size of the original & had inside lavatories. The underground roller coaster was deemed unfit for modern H & S regs in 1981 & was closed to the public. The Sava centre is still rumored to have the ghost of GF Bobby running around & folk can often be seen trailing in mystery dog shit to this very day. Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harry94 Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 John Fashanu spent four of his teenage years working to get a job at his local smarties factory. After being rejected three times, Fashanu gave up his dream but the very same day he received his first professional contract, he was unexpectedly called and offered his dream job. Since he had given his word to sign his football contract - he turned the job down. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 If dropped from the top of the Empire State Building, a standard bouncy ball would take roughly 17 minutes to come to rest. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudolph Hucker Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 Rubbing the inside of a banana skin over your car windscreen and headlights can improve your fuel consumption by up to 2.3 miles per gallon due to reduced friction caused by the added slipperiness. Unfortunately this is unlikely to be of much benefit as the reduced visibility caused by the smeared mess means you are likely to collide with the first lamppost that you come across. -3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 The average lifespan of a shatterproof ruler is 7 months. It's 3 years less in central Glasgow. Obviously. Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted March 10, 2016 Share Posted March 10, 2016 Unless any major breaking news occur, the 5 min Reporting Scotland updates during the morning news are on repeat. Most of the time, the presenters finish the initial recording at 6:05 and sit around on call until midday, drinking tea in the Clyde View Lounge and discussing conquests of the night before. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudolph Hucker Posted March 10, 2016 Share Posted March 10, 2016 It's not generally known that the people who bang drums incessantly at certain football grounds are actually employed by the home clubs to do it, in order to distract fans from the fact that what's being served up on the pitch is generally pretty dire stuff. For performing this important service they are generally among the highest-paid back room staff at the clubs. "Drummer's Elbow" is an occupational hazard, and clubs are allowed up to three emergency loans per season to cover this hazard. Injury to the drummer by pissed-off home or away fans, however, does not qualify for an emergency loan. -3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dee_62 Posted March 10, 2016 Share Posted March 10, 2016 It's not generally known that the people who bang drums incessantly at certain football grounds are actually employed by the home clubs to do it, in order to distract fans from the fact that what's being served up on the pitch is generally pretty dire stuff. For performing this important service they are generally among the highest-paid back room staff at the clubs. "Drummer's Elbow" is an occupational hazard, and clubs are allowed up to three emergency loans per season to cover this hazard. Injury to the drummer by pissed-off home or away fans, however, does not qualify for an emergency loan. Right, so that explains why the drummer at the Stranraer v Forfar match last weekend was giving it laldy for 90 minutes - he's paid and it was a terrible game! Thanks Rudolph. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dee_62 Posted March 10, 2016 Share Posted March 10, 2016 For every 32,300 texts sent via the 3G networks an energy cloud capable of bringing down a Cessna light aircraft is formed around the thousands of telephone signal masts up and down the country. So far, Air Traffic Controllers have been able to identify these energy build ups and re-route many of the private flights and weekend charity parachute jumpers. Ponder on that all you serial texters. <<sent via my i-phone 6S>> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted March 10, 2016 Share Posted March 10, 2016 John Cena invented Java script. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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