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Facts you made up


Mak

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The Impressionist painters got their name because they did impressions whilst painting. Claude Monet did a vicious impression of Prince Albert which was why he was never offered any commissions by Queen Victoria.

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Despite statements to the contrary, Prince Albert did in fact have his dick pierced and had a large metal ring through the jap's eye. When he died Queen Victoria had it removed and carried it around in her knickers for the rest of her life.

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  • Queen Jane, born 1537

  • King George I, born 1660

  • King Frederick, born 1701

  • King George V, born 1865

  • Rodney King, born 1965

  • Future King George VII, born 2013

Historians expect Queen Bungle or King Zippy to rise to power at some point in the 2100s.

Edited by banana
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20 hours ago, Mark Connolly said:

Elgin is so named after a mispronunciation when a Spanish visitor to King David I's court asked for a juniper flavoured local beverage.

Elgin is twinned with Le Tonic in the Pyrenees

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2 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

Forres' Mosset Park has more advertising boards than Celtic Park, Ibrox & Pittodrie combined.


Wouldn't surprise me if that's true actually.

What!  You didn't research this first.
People take this thread very seriously and the last person who posted something here that was actually true was turned into a giant squirrel.
Be careful.

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The average height of a Highland a League player is 5'6" which is particularly surprising as it's a league made up of mainly certified midgets. The average height is brought up by Steve "tiny" Macgregor, the Inverurie Locos second choice right back who is over 700 feet tall.

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The official currency of the remote and self sufficient British island colony of Tristan de Cunha is the TDC postage stamp.

High value sales of these to collectors worldwide bring in a wide variety of currencies used for any external trade, but the stamp remains the most easily supplied and standardised form of legal tender amongst inhabitants despite them being offered the St Helena pound.

The pre-1957 currency was the rock lobster, but a combination of seasonality, uncertainty over sustainability and an Atlantic storm destroying the island's cooling house (i.e. bank) forced change.

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There are no filthy grasses in Eastonia, they have several teams of filthy grass elimination squads, they only work at night. The starting wage is 12e per hour & they get every 3rd weekend off. 

G-Bo

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The cost to the Crown of fighting the Napoleonic Wars at the start of the 19th Century was met by a short term loan/tax on the Peat Barons of North West Scotland.
Britain's victory jump-started the golden period in the Empire and the Peat Baron's financial sacrifices were not forgotten.
Travel along any side road near Kinlochbervie, Achiltibuie, Lochinver and Durness and you'll marvel at the number of Palaces sitting not too far into the tree line.

Both George III and George IV were regular visitors during the building works. In fact, it was during one of these trips that George III's mental illness was first noticed. Picking up a wheelbarrow and filling it with apples, he ran amongst the workies singing "Who will buy, this beautiful morning" once too often. 

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In 2012 a Dundee man opened a packet of Jacob's Cheddars biscuits and found that not a single one was broken. A Jacob's spokesman said there was no record of such a thing ever happening before and they were unable to explain how it had happened.

The packet is now on display in the Royal Museum of Scotland in Edinburgh.

cheddars-240x240.jpg

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Former US President Richard Nixon visited Scotland once when serving in the role.

He was flown in to Edzell which was meant to be the start of a four day tour. His trip was cut short though after four hours when a plot was unearthed which would have seen the global leader attacked by trained seagals in Brechin.

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In another stomach-churning example of the world going mad - a loony council in the South East of England has banned the use of the phrase "Daddy long-legs" for fear of offending single mums and short arses.  Instead, schools and all council employes have been emailed with instructions that they should now be referred to as "intersex, vertically enhanced, super flies".

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