BillyAnchor Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 When Salman Rushdie was in hiding from the Muslims who protested his book he started a new novel that was never finished. It was going to be called Buddha was a fat b*****d 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 Richard Osman off of Pointless is actually only 5 ft but wears 2 feet worth of shoe lifts to make him look bigger. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 26 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Richard Osman off of Pointless is actually only 5 ft but wears 2 feet worth of shoe lifts to make him look bigger. Well, if he didn't, he'd limp 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 If the Lifeboat Service receive a distress call from a vessel based in Aberdeen, they will wait five minutes before responding to it. This is in revenge for a flag day they held in the city in 1967, which did not raise a single penny. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted December 17, 2018 Share Posted December 17, 2018 Gordon Strachan was a stuntman for the krankies. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyAnchor Posted December 18, 2018 Share Posted December 18, 2018 The Krankies just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary with a cruise to Bulgaria 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dee_62 Posted December 18, 2018 Share Posted December 18, 2018 The Krankies have been regular visitors to Bulgaria since the early 70s. Playing the cabaret clubs at Sunny Beach and Golden Sands to packed out crowds, wee Jimmy effectively forced the Bulgarian communist leaders to change the currency away from the comically named “statinky”. Communists in those days didn’t have a great sense of humour and feared international ridicule. ETAJust remembered that it was during a meeting with the Bulgarian secret police in 1982 at the hotel Metropol that the krankies misheard a police warning that they risked deportation... “Vrand abid ozi” 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted December 18, 2018 Share Posted December 18, 2018 The Krankies are to star in a remake of the Schwarzenegger/De Vito classic Twins. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted December 18, 2018 Share Posted December 18, 2018 Only an Excuse is still funny. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted December 18, 2018 Share Posted December 18, 2018 16 hours ago, GordonD said: If the Lifeboat Service receive a distress call from a vessel based in Aberdeen, they will wait five minutes before responding to it. This is in revenge for a flag day they held in the city in 1967, which did not raise a single penny. I still love the expression "As quiet as Aberdeen on a flag day". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyAnchor Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 Monty python's Life of Brian was going to be called Life of Jim but the writers were out on a bender and met a really affable bloke called Brian in one pub so they changed in his honour. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Ferrino Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 1 minute ago, BillyAnchor said: Monty python's Life of Brian was going to be called Life of Jim but the writers were out on a bender and met a really affable bloke called Brian in one pub so they changed in his honour. Blessed Brian? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverton End Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 1 hour ago, Tony Ferrino said: Blessed Brian? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juansanchezbrotosbrother Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 Cilla Black wrote Immigrant Song. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 (edited) The original pilot of blind date ended in disaster when two heterosexual men picked each other and started a riot. From then on blind people were banned. Edited December 20, 2018 by D.A.F.C 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 After completing the filming of her series' about Britain's most historic towns, Professor Alice Roberts is asking for suggestions for her follow-up. "Britain's Most Horrific Towns".A short series, starting and ending in methil Soon to be followed by ‘hot chicks with ginger pubes’.🤞🤞 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dee_62 Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 The pillowcase was invented 12 years before the first pillow. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted January 1, 2019 Share Posted January 1, 2019 Over a third of all data on the internet belongs to Google Streetview. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyAnchor Posted January 1, 2019 Share Posted January 1, 2019 Sheena Easton has a tramp stamp with the word Bellshill in a fancy script. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Ferrino Posted January 1, 2019 Share Posted January 1, 2019 1 hour ago, BillyAnchor said: Sheena Easton has a tramp stamp with the word Bellshill in a fancy script. The first time Sheena met Prince her nipples turned purple. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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