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Facts you made up


Mak

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To avoid being confused with the Reliant Robin, all sparrows called Robin decided to grow red breasts after the "Only Fools and Horses" TV show gained in popularity through the 1980s.

Unfortunately, the vehicle on the TV show was actually a Reliant Regal Supervan and the sparrows (now known as Robin Redbreasts) effectively made themselves an easier target for predators such as sparrow hawks and cats. Stupid sparrows eh?

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To avoid being confused with the Reliant Robin, all sparrows called Robin decided to grow red breasts after the "Only Fools and Horses" TV show gained in popularity through the 1980s.

Unfortunately, the vehicle on the TV show was actually a Reliant Regal Supervan and the sparrows (now known as Robin Redbreasts) effectively made themselves an easier target for predators such as sparrow hawks and cats. Stupid sparrows eh?

Thick Sparrows, they deserve all they get, if they weren't such bird brains they'd nip in to Morrisons or any other supermarket & get some hair dye.

I'm canceling my £3 per month subscriptions to the SSPCB & the SSPCA & RSPCA & RSPCB & WWF.

I'll show them birds they are not wasting my money on fur dyes & make-up. Pish taking c***s.

Grimbo

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The building of the Great Wall of China was stopped when it was only 20% complete after Planning Regulators discovered it had been built 60cm higher than the size on the plans. Work was delayed for over 5 years while negotiations were held seeking retrospective planning permission for the wall to continue at the same height. After lengthy discussions and the mysterious disappearance of several Planning Officials it was agreed that the wall would continue at the existing height.

It is a serious offence to skateboard or roller skate along the top of the Great Wall but cycling is permitted.

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Back in WW2 an American airman misheard an RAF squadron leader at a briefing and thought 'that would be cool to take back over the pond' and thus 'Dress down Friday' was born.

What was really uttered by the British airman was 'Let's do Dresden Friday'

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The late actress Molly Sugden, a rather straight-laced lady who played Mrs Slocombe in the sit-com Are You Being Served, received a 50 pounds bonus payment every time she talked about her pussy. Although frequently referred to in the show, viewers never actually got to see Mrs Slocombe's pussy.

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The Loch Ness monster is just a tourist trap, Nessie doesn't exist.

The SNP government have secret building application records that show that Nessie's (not her real name) skelton was used as the sub-frame for the Forth rail bridge, I've seen the documentation dated 3rd June 1880 between the Inverness & Lothian regional councils. Inverness residents had been complaining for a good few weeks according to one document I read about the "horrific" pong emanating from the Loch, Apparently Lubie the local monster had croaked & her rotting carcass was creating a proper stenh over the region. The Lothion council was after bridging the Forth to allow the new steam locomotions up North. A compromise was agreed betwixt the 2 councils & a large consignment of industrial strength acid was flown (air baloon obviously) over the Loch & dropped around the site of the dead monster that stopped the rotting flesh smell but ecologically it was far worse, but the council only discovered this eco-tragedy after the skeleton was uplifted to Queensferry. The Invernss council tried to sue the Lothian council but omitted (in their haste to get rid of the rotting monstrosity) to read the small print which allowed the Lothians absolution from any eco-mess, mainly cos at the time no one in Inverness knew what it meant. Inverness regional council & Lothian council have not spoken since. Any negotiations are done through Dundee council.

The skelton could only be moved at night, which proved quite a challenge but they finally got there & by 1882 the bridge was completed, unfrtunately the bridge between the 2 councils is a bridge to far.

Grimbo

Eta - I am only revealing this because I was spurned by the 1st minister after she choose her career over our 1 night fling.

Edited by Grim O'Grady
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The Loch Ness monster is just a tourist trap, Nessie doesn't exist.

The SNP government have secret building application records that show that Nessie's (not her real name) skelton was used as the sub-frame for the Forth rail bridge, I've seen the documentation dated 3rd June 1880 between the Inverness & Lothian regional councils. Inverness residents had been complaining for a good few weeks according to one document I read about the "horrific" pong emanating from the Loch, Apparently Lubie the local monster had croaked & her rotting carcass was creating a proper stenh over the region. The Lothion council was after bridging the Forth to allow the new steam locomotions up North. A compromise was agreed betwixt the 2 councils & a large consignment of industrial strength acid was flown (air baloon obviously) over the Loch & dropped around the site of the dead monster that stopped the rotting flesh smell but ecologically it was far worse, but the council only discovered this eco-tragedy after the skeleton was uplifted to Queensferry. The Invernss council tried to sue the Lothian council but omitted (in their haste to get rid of the rotting monstrosity) to read the small print which allowed the Lothians absolution from any eco-mess, mainly cos at the time no one in Inverness knew what it meant. Inverness regional council & Lothian council have not spoken since. Any negotiations are done through Dundee council.

The skelton could only be moved at night, which proved quite a challenge but they finally got there & by 1882 the bridge was completed, unfrtunately the bridge between the 2 councils is a bridge to far.

Grimbo

Eta - I am only revealing this because I was spurned by the 1st minister after she choose her career over our 1 night fling.

Nessies skelton should not be confused with the bone structure of TV presenter Helen Skeleton.

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Robert Stevenson had an umbrella fetish and when not building the world's 1st passenger carrying steam locomotive he was oft found playing with his small collection of umbrellas & ladies parasols. He only bothered to build the Rocket to further his growing fetish, whilst he got engineers to pilot the Rocket he himself was manning the lost property office. He could legitimately then satiate his fetish before the owners reclaimed their brolly's or if unclaimed then he would adopt them. By the time he died (1859) he had filled two stately homes with the mechanical rain dispelling devices.

On a similar note & oft confused but Robert L Stephenson (the JK Rowling of his time) had a cunning plan on how to distribute for publication his 1st novel Treasure Island, whilst publishers where not arsed to publish the unknown author, he would leave his book on the train in the hope that a passing publicist would sit on it. Rab's cunning plan worked when John Cassell of Cassell & Co publicists was trying to retrieve his lost brolly too no avail from (the now deceased) Robbie in the Stockton lost property office, after 27 mins of fractious arguments he could not provide Rab with photographic evidence so ultimately young Rab had to GTF but had that argument not taken place then we may well have lost the greatest living children's book (pre HP of course) for Johnny was the passenger that sat on Rabbies unpublished tome.

Grimbo

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