Facts you made up

[el buitre]

Jimmy savile wasnt really the worlds foremost paedophile, it was just a hoax that went too far after tony blackburn gave an interview to the radio times which he used to settle an old score with savile and dave lee travis

[wunfellaff]

Due to being dyslexic Malcolm Ndikumana signed his name as Malcolm X , and that was what he became known as.

[BigRubberFist]

During the English Civil War, Oliver Cromwell's elite troops went into battle riding on donkeys. They did so because donkeys were considered to be more nimble than horses on the battlefield.

[banana]

Deep sea construction divers age faster due to the reduced speed of light underwater.

DiverAge = (DiverAge + TimeUnderwater*Depth^3) / c*(MinDepth-MaxDepth)

[ScotlandGer]

Red Squirrels sleep upside down in tree branches, hanging by their tails.

In order to preserve the species, Scottish Conservationists now go around at night with clothes pegs to clip the sleeping Red Squirrel to the tree. This is to counter the threat from the Grey Squirrels who enjoyed untying the Reds.

Grey Squirrels are unable to operate clothes pegs.

[wunfellaff]

Due to the number of hospital admissions and deaths in the 1920's , light bulbs had to pass a strength test based on the muscle pressure of the average sphincter.

Known as the "anal benchmark" until the 1950's.

[Adam]

Whilst waiting in line at an IHOP in the USA in 1967, John Lennon overheard a conversation about the war in Vietnam between a father and son, with the son stating that he wished we could "Give peace a chance". Two years later, John Lennon wrote the famous song, and gifted 25% of the loyalties earned to the family.

[weirdcal]

Whilst waiting in line at an IHOP in the USA in 1967, John Lennon overheard a conversation about the war in Vietnam between a father and son, with the son stating that he wished we could "Give peace a chance". Two years later, John Lennon wrote the famous song, and gifted 25% of the loyalties earned to the family.

john lennon then proceded to use this as a signal to let linda McCartney know that yoko was out at the shops and she was free to pop over for a romp. all he did was phone the radio station and they played it next.

when paul cottoned on to this he was livid and filled the freezer with steak as lindas punnishment

[Seymour Skinner]

Madjid bougherra was actually the lesser known member of the three stooges(known as the four stooges back then) until he left the show to pursue a footballing career. He was called eyebrows on the show.

[banana]

Though rarely observed in aquatic environments, camels are the fastest swimmers in the animal kingdom, known to reach top speeds of around 85mph.

[ScotlandGer]

Timberland is a small independent nation-state which lies on the border between the USA and Canada. Its primary exports are footwear, jackets, and hooded pullover tops.

The country has established a range of bilateral trade agreements with a number of advanced developing economies such as the Former Yugoslav Republic of USC, the confederal regional body TK Maxx, and the small trading hub of River Island. This has ensured the country has been relatively unaffected by the global economic downturn.

Consequently, it is now looking to diversify its economy as the government increases research and development spending in the sock, denim, and leather belt markets.

[wunfellaff]

Lorenzo Amaruso had three banjo strings.

[Mark Connolly]

Vin Diesel is named after the drinks his French mother and student father were drinking on the evening he was conceived.

[Derek Patterson]

The mid 90s wrestling character Papa Shango was created by Kenny Shiels who was a school friend of Gerard Mahon who was part of the WWF creative team for a couple of years prior to the "Attitude Era".

[Albino Rover]

The singer in the Go Compare ads is a classically trained tenor named Gareth Williams. He was recently approached by a major London-based opera company to play the lead in their production of Carmen, but had to decline as he is contracted to Go Compare until 2028 and cannot work elsewhere without their permission.

[Bert Raccoon]

Susan Boyle was actually created in a laboratory, she's made of 72% Chopped Ham and Pork and 28% Hair found on the floor of a Barbers.

[Mak]

The colour purple was invented in 1923 as part of a Quality Street marketing campaign aimed at popularising the previously underappreciated 'grey one'.

[Seymour Skinner]

Jessica rabbit was a bestiality crazed wierdo.

[madwullie]

The zip lock bag was initially created as a repository for astronauts to store their semen after experimental "space wanks"

Edited August 28, 2013 by madwullie

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

The favourite food of the sperm whale is the kumquat.