Facts you made up

[BillyAnchor]

In the late 1980s musician Sting went to the Amazon and returned with a native chief, Raoni, who he paraded around the talk show circuit. It was considered sensational at the time then died down until most had forgotten about him.

Several years later it was revealed that Raoni had not returned to Brazil but having discovered a taste for donner kebabs after the pubs closed had decided to relocate to Scotland. He found employment with a famous High St music retailer where he helped merchandise CD's.

After the closure of this store his whereabouts are unknown but information reveals that he has been arrested on several occasions after  following marked police vehicles and annoying the constables  with garbled language in which they can only understang the wors "Wheres that b*****d Sting" and "gies a sub for a wee donner big man'.

 

Sting has been unavailable for comment as he is hanging out at swanky night clubs in Soho wearing hemp Tshirts saying "Save the Whitley Bay Woods."

 

[Thorongil]

Brendan Rodgers is a keen Warhammer player and was recently promoted to High Paladin of the Westmarch in his local chapter.

Edited February 21, 2022 by Thorongil

[BillyAnchor]

Charles Manson was offered the part of Yoffi in what was to be an American adaptation of Fingerbobs (called Fingerbabs). He originally wanted the gig but he had issues with the tortoise called Flash and ultimately declined.

[Tony Ferrino]

West Ham adopted their Bubbles song after the luftwaffe destroyed a soap factory in Bethnal Green in 1942 and it contaminated the local water supplies.

[Fullerene]

When Michaelangelo was asked to paint the Sistine Chapel, his first attempt was simply magnolia.

[Hedgecutter]

Ricicles breakfast cereal was discontinued following the discovery that some ginger kids had a severe intolerance to one of the ingredients.  Kellogg's spun this by saying that it was due to "commitments to promote healthier breakfasts", letting people incorrectly assume that it referred to the high sugar content.

Edited March 28, 2022 by Hedgecutter
incorrect spelling of Kellogg's

[GordonD]

It is written into the BBC charter that every second celebrity game show must include one of the following:

Susan Calman
Sara Pascoe
Sarah Millican
Jo Brand
Katherine Ryan

If this condition is not met, the BBC could have its licence revoked.

[N5 Spur]

That I was the son of a (dead) famous TV presenter/host/personality.

[Welly boy]

Women make great football pundits.

[Dan Steele]

In 1940 Alfred Wainwright was seconded to Angus County Council Treasurer's Office from Blackburn Council. Whilst here he perfected his distinctive guide book writing and illustrating style. His first publication, A Guide to the Forfar Path Network & Balmashanner, is highly sought after. In 1999 a signed copy was sold at auction for £750.00.

[BillyAnchor]

Merda Therzatolli was an Italian student studying in Edinburgh for a term. As a football fan he wanted to go to a game and asked a local bobby for directions. Ending up on a bus at the Commonwealth stadium he went in to watch Meadowbank play Clydebank.  He was surprised by the small crowd but enjoyed watching the small band of home fans with a drum and chants. When he returned to Turin he decided to copy his Edinburgh experience and started the first Ultras. Attempts at importing pies and bovril however failed.

[Dan Steele]

Dennis Waterman's four sons started the band The Waterboys.

RIP Dennis

[broon-loon]

On 06/04/2022 at 18:02, The Skelpit Lug said:

In 1940 Alfred Wainwright was seconded to Angus County Council Treasurer's Office from Blackburn Council. Whilst here he perfected his distinctive guide book writing and illustrating style. His first publication, A Guide to the Forfar Path Network & Balmashanner, is highly sought after. In 1999 a signed copy was sold at auction for £750.00.

Also referred to as the 'Up Bummie' guide. 

Highly sought after in Brighton for some reason..?

[tamthebam]

Due to a freak tornado ripping the roof off the Royal Mint in 1987 and sucking millions of coins into the atmosphere in Llantrisant every time it rains it rains pennies from heaven 

[GordonD]

In the aftermath of Dunfermline being elevated to city status, somebody has noticed that Brechin actually isn't one. As a result the football team have been ordered to change their name to Brechin Town.

[Fullerene]

16 minutes ago, GordonD said:

In the aftermath of Dunfermline being elevated to city status, somebody has noticed that Brechin actually isn't one. As a result the football team have been ordered to change their name to Brechin Town.

Alternatively they could just call themselves Brechin Athletic seeing as Dunfermline (City Football Club) no longer needs that name.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

1 minute ago, Fullerene said:

Alternatively they could just call themselves Brechin Athletic seeing as Dunfermline (City Football Club) no longer needs that name.

Unfortunately that cant happen as no football club can have the initials B A due to BA Robertson trademarking and copyrighting those combination of letters. 
 

This post alone cost me £20 to post. Cheques in the post Brian

[pittsburgh phil]

As the Queen's latest jubilee approaches, a former palace aide has lifted the lid on just what went on at the Royals' legendary Christmas night parties.

Highlights of these notorious yet secretive events would normally include

- Prince Phillip downing a pint of gin in under ten seconds.

- A bawdy version of GSTQ sung by the courtiers, done in the style of The Barron Knights/The Grumbleweeds etc.

- Prince Edward's hilarious 'Men Of Jamaica' routine.

- The Queen Mother performing her notorious egg in a pint glass trick.

[Arthur daley]

14 minutes ago, pittsburgh phil said:

- Prince Phillip downing a pint of gin in under ten seconds.


 

 

[GordonD]

The fake Champions League tickets were distributed by Boris Johnson, who knew they would create an uproar that would divert media attention away from himself.