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Facts you made up


Mak

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After being expelled from Bali when they found out how shite Dundee United are these days, Willo Flood took a job as a stable boy in Britt Eckland's donkey sanctuary in the South of France. At night she visits his stable and tells him that she once played a character called  Willow in a 1970s docu-drama about life in Dumfries & Galloway as Willo brushes her hair and tells of his daring escape from his brief captivity in Fife. Falkirk are believed to be looking to bring the wayward star back to Scotland to bolster their midfield but they are struggling to meet Eckland's wage demands. 

Edited by Shandon Par
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1 hour ago, GordonD said:

Some Biblical scholars believe that Adam and Eve were from Tayside, and that an inkblot on one of the Dead Sea Scrolls means that what we now know as 'The Garden of Eden' should actually be called 'The Park of Dens'.

The more radical scholars believe there are numerous such inkblots.

Adam and Eve was actually about the Garden of Eden brothel on the banks of the Tay run by Madame and Steve.

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On 19/09/2018 at 10:19, GordonD said:

Some Biblical scholars believe that Adam and Eve were from Tayside, and that an inkblot on one of the Dead Sea Scrolls means that what we now know as 'The Garden of Eden' should actually be called 'The Park of Dens'.

Moses found the 10 commandments on a hill near Dundee explaining why they became known as "Laws'.

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Stranraer FC are the oldest football club in the world , named after the local saint Ranraer the bold , who was beheaded after the battle of loch Ryan in 13oatcake,  burt then miraculously reattached his own head and fought with King Robert , his head falling off after victory at Bannockburn .

he was canonised shortly afterwards 

the local Nescafé priors started the team to celebrate the elevation of the toon to a royal burgh in 1617 , and StRanraer have been on the go ever since.

Edited by bishopburn boy
Historical clarity
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Cheeky 70's soft porn star Robin Askwith had a long held ambition to direct and star in Hamlet at the Old Vic.

He fulfilled this dream in 1980 in front of a crowd of some of the finest actors and critics of the day.

It was going sensationally ('powerful and there's a mastery at play here - John Gielgud, 'nuanced and fresh - Laurence Olivier') until his now infamous 'bonking scene' complete with cheeky winks, mugging to the crowd and comedy noises.

It was quickly forgotten after that and a dejected Askwith vowed to never work on stage again.

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Build-a-Bear shops are a front for the Bilderberg Group and the Illuminati

Every bear that is sold is fitted with  cameras and microphones for eavesdropping on the masses.

If you have a Build-a-Bear toy in your house the Bilderberg Group are spying on you.

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The famous 'piece of paper' that Neville Chamberlain brandished after his summit meeting with Adolf Hitler was actually a Bayern Munich season ticket. Unfortunately the first time he used it, the seat turned out to be 'restricted view' which annoyed him so much that he declared war,

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