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Facts you made up


Mak

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In his latest book, to be serialised in The Daily Mail, ex royal butler Paul Burrell lifts the lid on what went on at her majesty's garden parties.

Su Pollard "dreadful woman, we found her slumped over in the guest toilets at 2pm, quite drunk"

Nick Knowles "Leonine and masculine but too confrontational"

He also sensationally claims that, following an early 80's meet and greet, a member of Tight Fit went rogue and still lives ferally in the grounds of Buckingham Palace - "the gamekeeper tolerates him, he keeps the rabbit population under control"

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The White House is built on the site of an ancient Native American burial ground and on the night of every full moon until April 2017 a Piscataway medicine man was brought in to perform a tribal dance to quell the spirits of the dead. However since such a 'pagan' ritual would be looked on disfavourably by, for example, the population of the Bible Belt the ceremony was carried out in total secrecy and the medicine man had to be smuggled into the White House disguised as a cleaner. 

When Donald Trump was inaugurated he dispensed with the medicine man's services, branding them 'heathen'. It is believed by some that the restless spirits are causing many of the problems his Presidency is now facing.

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PG Wodehouse was a notorious teabagger, most infamously on Clement Atlee after a riotous garden soirée ended in gin soaked reverie.

 

Other teabagging enthusiasts are Michael Buerk, Kris Commons, Peter Sissons, and Sandi Togsvik.

 

Although it's said that when Sissons teabags you stay bagged. Balls like clock weights apparently.

 

 

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Apollo 11 astronaut Michael Collins was supposed to join Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin on the moon, but refused after being zero-gravity teabagged en route by known prankster Aldrin.

Aldrin reportedly teabagged Armstrong seventeen times on the lunar surface, still a NASA record.

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Aldrin was so bad for it that NASA spent a huge amount of time, money, and some of the finest young minds to work out a plan b if he went full on balls out at a crucial stage.

It's the biggest thing Collins and Armstrong feared. He also used to fart into their powdered space food for the lolz.

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4 hours ago, banana said:

Apollo 11 astronaut Michael Collins was supposed to join Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin on the moon, but refused after being zero-gravity teabagged en route by known prankster Aldrin.

Aldrin reportedly teabagged Armstrong seventeen times on the lunar surface, still a NASA record.

Apollo 13 failed as Aldrin pulled the handbrake while drunk on moonshine.

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