The Star Wars thread (includes spoilers for IX)

[54_and_counting]

Did you know there was ewok, jawa and wookie Jedi's - how cool is that!

i knew there was a wookie jedi, never seen the ewok and jawa but from some of the material ive read there are jedi from nearly every species of life in the star wars universe

the expanded universe talks more about different species of jedi than lucas ever did lol

[Quentin Taranbino]

Yip there was a Hutt Jedi as well - trained by Yoda and survived Order 66 but turned to the dark side before being killed in a lightsaber duel by that Hutt slaughtering b*tch Leia! Here he is

[Quentin Taranbino]

And here is the only ever Ewok Jedi

[DA Baracus]

Despite being utterly unnecessary, Qui-Gon Jinn was a really good character and Liam Neeson was tremendous. I would go as far to say that Qui-Gonn was the best thing about the prequels and that Neeson easily gave the best performance out of any actor in the prequels.

I was hoping for a Taken style spin off film with Qui-Gon's daughter being kidnapped on Dantooine and him swearing vengeance and then going and lightsabering folk to f**k.

[~~~]

[54_and_counting]

Despite being utterly unnecessary, Qui-Gon Jinn was a really good character and Liam Neeson was tremendous. I would go as far to say that Qui-Gonn was the best thing about the prequels and that Neeson easily gave the best performance out of any actor in the prequels.

I was hoping for a Taken style spin off film with Qui-Gon's daughter being kidnapped on Dantooine and him swearing vengeance and then going and lightsabering folk to f**k.

i hated qui-gon, for being the powerful and intelligent jedi he was, he was fucking abysmal with a lightsaber

[DA Baracus]

i hated qui-gon, for being the powerful and intelligent jedi he was, he was fucking abysmal with a lightsaber

Aye, the Jedi in the films are either useless with a lightsaber or complete masters of it. Another ridiculous thing.

Anyway, as juvenile as it is, I still chuckle at the fact that one of the masters on the Jedi Council was called Yarael Poof.

Just typing 'Jedi Council' reminded me of another terrible piece of acting. When Anakin is supposed to be furious that he is admitted to the council but isn't made a master (when did he become a Jedi Knight? He's still running around with a Padawan braid until ROTS), he says something about it being an outrage, but just does it awfully, in such a wooden manner that you think he really isn't all that bothered.

Also I just remembered, and I don't how I managed to forget this, that Anakin had no father, that one day his mum just fell pregnant. What abysmal. They could have done any number of things. They could have had a story that his mum had a one night stand, and it's later revealed that the guy was some sort of powerful force user who died not long after or wiped her memory of it. They could have had a story that she went to a sperm bank and got Sith spunk in error. They could have have had that she was an intergalactic prostitute (she almost was; she was a slave) who was knobbed by a passing force user. She could have accidentally sat on the toilet seat that a force user had just jizzed over. None of these would be as ludicrous as what they came up with.

But no. She just fell pregnant one day. On Anakin's birth certificate beside 'Father' it just says 'Midichlorians'.

[DA Baracus]

And while I'm ranting, what the f**k was up with the Jedi crying about their use of the force being diminished?! Why would it be? It can't be because of Palpatine, who was a Sith Master long before TPM where they could use the force perfectly well. And Yoda uses the force perfectly well when he has the ludicrous platform fight with Palpatine. So what are they talking about? And why would Mace Windu suggest that they tell the government about it?! That defies belief. "Hey, let's tell folk about a weakness we've suddenly developed!"

[54_and_counting]

(when did he become a Jedi Knight

he takes on a padawan in the clone wars cartoons which makes you an official knight, and another redeeming factor for lucas, but also another massive plot hole,

at the end of the clone wars cartoons, his padawan effectively becomes a knight herself, which means anakin should become a master, which would then explain his anger at not being one in RotS but leaves a massive hole in the plot for people that havent seen the cartoons

as for their use with a lightsaber, i agree, 2 jedi knights lasted 6 seconds against palpatine and then windu more than matches him, also (another plot hole coming up

in the cartoons in a specific episode yoda and ashoka take the younglings to get their very own lightsaber crystal, and yoda says the crystal channels the users force into the lightsaber, so how the f**k can grievous wield them as he clearly cannot have the force, tut tut george you fucked that one up again

as for the diminished use of the force, im guessing it was because the war had broken out and whether they admit it or not a lot of the jedi would be feeling fear etc, traits of the darkside, although i agree that how they missed the fucking dark lord of the sith sitting in council with them at times i'll never know

could you imagine rowling writing a harry potter story where voldemort sat opposite him on the fucking hogwarts express and nae c**t knew it, bollocks, lucas you cunted it up again

i think im gonna stop looking for flaws for a while now as its ruining my love for star wars, disney if you read this please PLEASE do not f**k it up

follow the expanded universe to the letter and you cannot go wrong, i beg of you disney please dont f**k it up

[captainkev]

Also I just remembered, and I don't how I managed to forget this, that Anakin had no father, that one day his mum just fell pregnant. What abysmal. They could have done any number of things. They could have had a story that his mum had a one night stand, and it's later revealed that the guy was some sort of powerful force user who died not long after or wiped her memory of it. They could have had a story that she went to a sperm bank and got Sith spunk in error. They could have have had that she was an intergalactic prostitute (she almost was; she was a slave) who was knobbed by a passing force user. She could have accidentally sat on the toilet seat that a force user had just jizzed over. None of these would be as ludicrous as what they came up with.

But no. She just fell pregnant one day. On Anakin's birth certificate beside 'Father' it just says 'Midichlorians'.

Doesn't Palpatine say at one point in the scene in which he's telling Anakin about the story of Darth Plageus that you can use the Dark Side of the force to manipulate midichlorians to create life (or words to that effect)?

Given that Palpatine seems to be heavily hinting that he was the apprentice who murdered Darth Plageus after being taught all those powers, I always presumed we were meant to assume that Palpatine was responsible for Anakin's seemingly immaculate conception. If that's the case we're supposed to believe that Palpatine has been playing a seriously long game to get some one as powerful as Anakin is constantly alleged to be to serve as his apprentice to help him destroy the Jedi. It seems like a really unnecessary long and complicated plan when you consider just how incompetent the Jedi are in the prequels.

Edit: Incidentally, even if that was what Lucas intending to do (i.e. Make Palpatine technically Anakin's father via Midichlorian...insemenation?) then it's still a fairly stupid idea.

Edited July 20, 2013 by captainkev

[nsr]

What exactly did Palpatine need Anakin for anyway? What did Anakin do that old Palps couldn't have done himself? Saved him from Mace Windass I suppose, but I highly doubt that was in the emperor's plan.

Also, it is rather strange that a young-ish woman who is a slave on apparently the scummiest planet in the galaxy says "Oh my child had no father, I have no idea what happened" and people believed her. They don't appear to consider the plethora of more likely explanations, such as she's a total slag and doesn't want to admit it, or she moonlights as a prostitute and doesn't want Watto to know, or she was raped and doesn't want to admit it or has suppressed the memory as a coping mechanism.

Edited July 20, 2013 by nsr

[54_and_counting]

Palpatine needs anakin to simply preserve the ways of the sith, one master one apprentice and the cycle continues, fucking stupid ways as the apprentice eventuslly bumps off the master

Also the whole "always 2" rule is blown right out the water in the expanded universe as lukes son travels to a sith planet iirc and there are fucking loads of them

[nsr]

But I thought Palpatine had learned how to cheat death from Darth Plagueis so why would he need a successor? Or did he just make that up for the purposes of manipulating Anakin into thinking the Dark Side would save Padme?

[Mark Connolly]

But I thought Palpatine had learned how to cheat death from Darth Plagueis so why would he need a successor? Or did he just make that up for the purposes of manipulating Anakin into thinking the Dark Side would save Padme?

He says to Anakin that they will need to work together to learn how to cheat death - I'm sure he hasn't learned it himself.

[54_and_counting]

I think the idea of cheating death is the force ghost nonsense, or else darth plagueis would have done it

Im sure qui-gon was a bit too close to the dark side, hence him not being on the council

[captainkev]

But I thought Palpatine had learned how to cheat death from Darth Plagueis so why would he need a successor? Or did he just make that up for the purposes of manipulating Anakin into thinking the Dark Side would save Padme?

I don't know if he wanted a successor so much as a young and powerful apprentice/bodyguard to take care of all the fighting and hunting of any potential threats. Also, I think we're meant to presume as well that Anakin's injuries from his battle with Obi Wan and his encasement in the Vader suit permanently stunted his development and he never really became the Sith Lord he had the potential to be. Hence why the Emperor is so keen in ROTJ to recruit Luke to the Dark side and have him replace Vader.

Palpatine may well have been over-exaggerating on the powers he had. He probably knew that he could tell Anakin that he could do practically anything with the dark side and Anakin would simply believe him rather than say, go do some research into the matter. Even if he did actually have these powers, I highly doubt that he had any intention of actually teaching Anakin them until he was sure that Padme was dead. Ultimately, I think he was just dangling the slight possibility of a power to save Padme from death to manipulate Anakin to see what effect it would have, and as Anakin is a guillible imbecile, he falls for it hook line and sinker and joins Palpatine without really thinking it through.

[54_and_counting]

Also to add, qui-gon's master was count dooku, so the dark side is quite prominent in his life, especially as he had feelings for another jedi that died abd it nearly turned him to the dark side

[54_and_counting]

I doubt sidious needed a bodyguard, he was much stronger and more advanced with the force than anyone in the 6 films we see, even anakin with his doped up midichlorian count, it just seems to be the sith way

[Quentin Taranbino]

In Empire Strikes Back - when Darth is at Cloud City and Solo, Leia and Chewie get tricked into captured there us something I have always wondered.

Han fires off a few shots to no effect and then Darth says something along the lines off "captain solo, please join us etc" and then Solo makes a remark to Lando and wanders into the room.

You can see the table is set for a meal and then Darth sits down. Are they actually planning on having a discussion and a bite to eat? How does Darth eat anyway?

[Mr. Brightside]

Something I've always wondered is, why didn't they train Leia from the start as well? Then they'd have two top notch Jedi's to fight Vader.

Edited July 23, 2013 by Mr. Brightside.