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Reasons to be Cheerful


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7 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

I've never had a haircut abroad but some of the most mental conversations I've ever had have been in barbers.  I once got my hair cut in South Wales and when the barber realised I was from Scotland, he asked me where I was from and when I said Inverness he said he loved the Highlands as there weren't any d*rkies up there and they'd ruined Britain and he was sick of them and he wanted to retire to Scotland because there weren't any there etc.  I was about 19 at the time and the guy had a razor next to my neck so I had to just kind of say "Yeah, it's really nice" and hope he started talking about football or the weather or literally anything else.  

The last time I had a haircut I went to a Turkish barbers in a less salubrious part of Edinburgh and the barber immediately went on a big rant about how the SNP were soft on crime and that when he was 18 he got in a bit of trouble in Turkey so his dad took him to the local police office and a few of the officers beat him up and that set him straight.  Again, I just want a haircut mate, nothing special, short round the back and sides, trimmed on top.

 

I think we went to the same Welsh barber. Very much conversation along the "send 'em all back" lines. 

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There's a yawning gulf in vanity/presentability between taking pictures of your haircut and getting a haircut by numbers though. In that zone where probably the vast majority of men reside, verbal communication and clarification is essential. 
I've not always been convinced that even a Scottish barber know exactly what to do tbh: 'a bit off the top' or 'tidied up' is as vague as it gets. 
Even on the rare occasions I get it cut in Scotland I usually physically show them how short I want it by holding my hair at the appropriate length.

I'd imagine the majority of men regardless of vanity have a photo of themselves with hair they were happy with.
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1 hour ago, DiegoDiego said:

Even on the rare occasions I get it cut in Scotland I usually physically show them how short I want it by holding my hair at the appropriate length.

I'd imagine the majority of men regardless of vanity have a photo of themselves with hair they were happy with.

You are absolutely correct. However, in my case the photo in question is a Polaroid from 1975.

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One of my mate's recommended me a barber's in Sydney so I went along one fateful day a few years back. The shop was through a doorway off one of the main streets and at the top of quite a long staircase. About half way up the stairs I started having serious doubts that this was actually the place my mate had been talking about, but the barber had locked eyes with me pretty much as soon as I stepped foot in the building so I decided to just accept my fate.

Once I was seated and the scissors were out, he started on one of the most bizarre diatribes I've ever experienced; tearing through immigrants, the Aboriginals and gay people before a final crescendo on the French for blowing up the entire Great Barrier Reef with an atomic bomb.

On my way back down the staircase I realised that he hadn't got out a mirror to show me the back of my head, but in my eagerness to get away I didn't even care.

Straight afterwards I was trying on some clothes in H&M and caught a closer look of myself in the mirror. Genuinely laughable. Some of my fringe hadn't been touched while other parts of it had been chopped right back. I dread to think how bad the back of my head was.

Ended up just buying a hat from H&M before diving into the first barber's I could find where the two guys working there burst out laughing and charged the same amount again to fix it.

Turned out my mate was talking about a place further down the road.

 

Edited by Barry Ferguson's Hat
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Yesterday was my first full week of work since Dec 18.

I know it shouldn't be in this thread, but it really should.

Since being redundant in Nov 18, I've gone through some crazy depression periods, loss of income meaning I was spending money every day from my savings. Looking at my feet when the wife come home and I done f**k all apart from feel sorry for myself.

Year 19 was all about me thinking .....f**k them, f**k them and f**k them. (getting drunk and angry). Until my sister slapped me.

Year 20 was finding a wee job, then for 2 months, then 'covid said 'NO'. The old boss asking me to come back......I was made redundant by his daughter & son who took over the business when he retired. He SACKED them and asked me to come back....Covid said 'NO' got a wee part time 10 hour job at the end of the year.

Year 21 started working more hours, and was promoted (gaffer of a department) with better pay and only a few hours extra per week.

Year 22 - I said to the work , I'm willing to put more hours in if you need me. 10th Jan started a full week graft.

Yesterday had a beer at 17:30 and it was the best beer I've had for 4 years.......I then tasted another 6.

Work is shite, but I did miss it. 

Off to the c***s at work thread

 

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20 hours ago, ICTChris said:

I've never had a haircut abroad but some of the most mental conversations I've ever had have been in barbers.  I once got my hair cut in South Wales and when the barber realised I was from Scotland, he asked me where I was from and when I said Inverness he said he loved the Highlands as there weren't any d*rkies up there and they'd ruined Britain and he was sick of them and he wanted to retire to Scotland because there weren't any there etc.  I was about 19 at the time and the guy had a razor next to my neck so I had to just kind of say "Yeah, it's really nice" and hope he started talking about football or the weather or literally anything else.  

The last time I had a haircut I went to a Turkish barbers in a less salubrious part of Edinburgh and the barber immediately went on a big rant about how the SNP were soft on crime and that when he was 18 he got in a bit of trouble in Turkey so his dad took him to the local police office and a few of the officers beat him up and that set him straight.  Again, I just want a haircut mate, nothing special, short round the back and sides, trimmed on top.

I hope Mathew McCaunneghy plays you in the film adaptation of this. 

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I used to go to a really good place, albeit run out someone's front room like a lot of businesses there, in Colombia. The lassie told me once it was grand because they never got to cut blonde hair and used to speak to me exclusively about reggaeton acts I'd never heard of. Was a bit weird but a very good cut for about 4 quid. 

A Pakistani lad I used to get it cut by in Barcelona once rapped my (at that time new) thinning crown with his comb and burst out laughing. Never went back. 

 

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I used to go to a really good place, albeit run out someone's front room like a lot of businesses there, in Colombia. The lassie told me once it was grand because they never got to cut blonde hair and used to speak to me exclusively about reggaeton acts I'd never heard of. Was a bit weird but a very good cut for about 4 quid. 
A Pakistani lad I used to get it cut by in Barcelona once rapped my (at that time new) thinning crown with his comb and burst out laughing. Never went back. 
 
I never had you down as a baldy mate
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Just now, Bairnardo said:
2 minutes ago, Genuine Hibs Fan said:
I used to go to a really good place, albeit run out someone's front room like a lot of businesses there, in Colombia. The lassie told me once it was grand because they never got to cut blonde hair and used to speak to me exclusively about reggaeton acts I'd never heard of. Was a bit weird but a very good cut for about 4 quid. 
A Pakistani lad I used to get it cut by in Barcelona once rapped my (at that time new) thinning crown with his comb and burst out laughing. Never went back. 
 

I never had you down as a baldy mate

I reckon I've about 5 years until dignity requires me to get the head shaved or pay up for a trip to Turkey. Fortunately lockdown 1 confirmed I actually look pretty good with a shaved head. 

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I reckon I've about 5 years until dignity requires me to get the head shaved or pay up for a trip to Turkey. Fortunately lockdown 1 confirmed I actually look pretty good with a shaved head. 
Lockdown 1 sealed it for me, hair is never to return. It was getting grim tbh.

Im not sure the Turkish option sounds all that good to me. I know a guy who did it, and when he got the second appointment, he said if he knew the second one would be as agonising as it was, he never would have begun the whole thing.
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The wife's best friend lives in Yorkshire. They talk every day. 

After a long chat with her yesterday, she said she wanted to speak to me...they're talking about her going down for a visit in August, the first in quite a while.

For. A. Week.

BackRealisticHydra-size_restricted.gif

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Ey'oop lads n'lasses..... Big Shagger here from Yorkshire, me next door neighbour was tellin'us that her BFF from Falkirk in Jockland is visiting in summer and apparently she's gaggin' for some fun as her man is one of these academic dweebs...... Should I try me hand, d'ye reckon.?

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20 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

The wife's best friend lives in Yorkshire. They talk every day. 

After a long chat with her yesterday, she said she wanted to speak to me...they're talking about her going down for a visit in August, the first in quite a while.

For. A. Week.

Heyyy neighbour...so, I heard you had an empty?

94a5790d5b3ddf1ed1110f59cb4014f3b9610b73

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The powers behind the restrictions in place where I live have just announced that all, every single restriction, should be removed as soon as possible. 

The pubs being closed at 8pm is no more. 

Ya dancer

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