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Let's All Laugh At Celtic Thread


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Love the Mash:

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/celtic-award-bullshit-goals-to-fictional-player-2014080889421

"CELTIC has invented a fictional hero to take credit for the three goals it never scored.

The club was awarded a completely made-up 3-0 Champions League qualifying victory over Legia Warsaw after the Polish team accidentally fielded an invincible football robot for two minutes of injury time.

Now the Glasgow club has honoured the achievement by awarding the goals to the fictional attacking midfielder, Declan Sanchez.

A club spokesman said: “Declan is a working class boy from Galway whose grandfather was an Argentinian human rights activist and a close friend of Che Guevara.

“Declan joined Celtic at the age of seven after being spotted by Kenny Dalglish, adopted by Charlie Nicholas and trained by Henrik Larsson. When he is not creating and scoring magnificent goals he writes poetry about imperialist oppression.

“And he has the voice of an angel.”"

Got the Celtic-psyche spot on.

Edited by Bobby_F
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Actually, the Mash missed something.

Not only did Declan score a hat trick (that in itself would have seen Celtic still knocked out), he made two spectacular last ditch goal line clearances to ensure the Celts kept a clean sheet.

What a find!

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You could argue that Aberdeen and St Johnstone were up against better quality sides than Celtic faced, they were definitely no worse than Legia.

Yet, while Celtic meekly surrendered, both Saints and the Dandies went down fighting.

Even Motherwell, who went out in the first round gave a better showing scoring twice in each leg before going behind for the first time in the tie in extra-time to a team already a quarter of the way through it's season.

There was no heart, no passion, and very little skill from Celtic in either leg of their tie with Legia.

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You could argue that Aberdeen and St Johnstone were up against better quality sides than Celtic faced, they were definitely no worse than Legia.

Yet, while Celtic meekly surrendered, both Saints and the Dandies went down fighting.

Even Motherwell, who went out in the first round gave a better showing scoring twice in each leg before going behind for the first time in the tie in extra-time to a team already a quarter of the way through it's season.

There was no heart, no passion, and very little skill from Celtic in either leg of their tie with Legia.

1/10

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You could argue that Aberdeen and St Johnstone were up against better quality sides than Celtic faced, they were definitely no worse than Legia.

Yet, while Celtic meekly surrendered, both Saints and the Dandies went down fighting.

Even Motherwell, who went out in the first round gave a better showing scoring twice in each leg before going behind for the first time in the tie in extra-time to a team already a quarter of the way through it's season.

There was no heart, no passion, and very little skill from Celtic in either leg of their tie with Legia.

I can see your point re St J and Aberdeen, but Motherwell in both legs were atrocious.

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I'm hearing that Oscar Pistorious has sacked his lawyer and hired Celtic to be his legal team.

They lost both legs and still managed to win.

[apologies for this, it has no doubt already been posted, but I can't be arsed reading the entire thread]

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I'm hearing that Oscar Pistorious has sacked his lawyer and hired Celtic to be his legal team.They lost both legs and still managed to win.[apologies for this, it has no doubt already been posted, but I can't be arsed reading the entire thread]

Pistorius lawyer also represents Dave King...

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