Nightclub Bouncer Knockback Excuses

[sjc]

Was in there twice in my younger days. Once at 16 on a works night out, when I probably looked about 12 having put in too much effort at trying to make myself look older, and once at 18 when I stupidly tried to down a full pint after losing a bet and promptly brought it straight back up, mostly in the glass and partly on my hand and arm.

Horrendous place.

I agree that these places are horrendous but I can't help but think that they are part of a young persons education and without them we'd all be somewhat poorer for the experience.

[Ross.]

I agree that these places are horrendous but I can't help but think that they are part of a young persons education and without them we'd all be somewhat poorer for the experience.

Definitely. I think a big part of the reason that Switzerland is full of characterless, pretentious wankers is down to the fact that they never experienced a night at Clatty's, Madness, the Savoy or Bonkers.

[Sweet Pete]

Definitely. I think a big part of the reason that Switzerland is full of characterless, pretentious wankers is down to the fact that they never experienced a night at Clatty's, Madness, the Savoy or Bonkers.

Don't forget the Boulie. I was once thrown out of there three times in one night.

[KnightswoodBear]

Don't forget the Boulie. I was once thrown out of there three times in one night.

A girl's mum and dad caught me on the job with their daughter in their kitchen at 4 in the morning after a night in there.

She had forgot they were getting up early to catch a flight.

Still made it down to the Nasty Spot for a take away afterwards.

[Ross.]

Don't forget the Boulie. I was once thrown out of there three times in one night.

A girl's mum and dad caught me on the job with their daughter in their kitchen at 4 in the morning after a night in there.

She had forgot they were getting up early to catch a flight.

Still made it down to the Nasty Spot for a take away afterwards.

I had the Boulie in their originally, but was unsure just how well known it was to those from outside a few miles radius of it.

The place was a time warp. I recall ending up in there one night after managing to avoid going for a good 7 or 8 years. Nothing had changed. Even the punters were exactly the same folk who had been going when I was 18/19. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. In the end I got steaming and chased my hole.

Almost disappointed when it closed. The pub that has replaced it just doesn't do it justice.

ETA, talking about the Boulie has brought back possibly my greatest nightclub KB.

Was a Saturday afternoon in November/December and I wound up going to a Celtic match, away to St Mirren. Was an early kick off at Love St and a friend had won hospitality tickets as a result of some promotion at his work(Clydesdale Bank when they sponsored the SPL I think), so a few of us went for the bevvy session. Started drinking before we headed to Paisley at around 10am, continued before, during and after the match, got a taxi back to Clydebank and went straight to Chandlers, then I think Alexanders, then ended up in Duntocher for a few beers in a couple of different pubs. Me and the other guy still out at this point were well oiled and didn't want the night to end, and decided that the Boulie was the obvious destination, so got a taxi from Duntocher and jumped out at the bottom of the stairs, to be met by a bouncer walking across from the bar downstairs, who didn't even wait until he was in front of us to knock us back. Just gave it "Not tonight lads" from a good 5 meters away. We asked why. He answered "It's only 8pm and we don't open for another 2 hours". Nothing we could really come back with to that one.

[Boomtown Boy]

Got a few more contributions to make to this.

Few months ago I am out with 2 of my mates in Edinburgh, took in a few pubs round the grass market, worked our way down Lothian Road into Ryans for a pint and over to Harry`s Bar. Been out since about 5pm as I am sure Columbia Greece game was on at 3 sisters when we were in there.

Any way about 1am, pretty pished at this point we decide the Jam House will be our final destination jumps in a taxi gets along there no problem with bouncer. Pay our door money and one of my mates goes to bar, I am dying on a shite and head of to the toilet. In doing my business and gets a knock on the door which I thought strange but I was concentrating so ignored it,. Finshed my business opened the door and went to wash my hands when (trying hard not to be racist here) the little cvnt of a toilet attendant demanded £10 form me to keep him quiet. For a second or two I was wondering why he had the audacity to ask me for a tenner when I hadnt even had a scoosh of his aftershave then it hit me, he thought I was in bog doing coke. I asked himto come over to cubicle and he would probably smell what I was doing and walked out toilet.

Just gets back to the bar and my mate hands me my pint take one drink and gets a tap on the shoulder, a bouncer asking me for a word outside. Started to walk the realised what was happening the wee p***k in the bog had went as told bouncer I was snorting coke so I went radio rental, never came to any violence but was well pissed off. The next day I was sitting thinking about it and decided to email the Jam House, so sent a big email saying how disappointed I was and if this has happened to me how many more folk had a similar experience and what if I was doing drugs and I paid him are they happy that he is being allowed to do this, never even got a reply back.

Really left a bad taste in my mouth about this.

[scottsdad]

The most annoying thing is when you're in a group and the bouncers refuse to let one in. That happened to me in the Fubar in Stirling back in 98 or 99. A group (boys and girls) arrived at the door but my friend Sally was told she wasn't getting in for being too drunk. No excuse - she was hammered. Could hardly walk. It was like watching a giraffe ice skate. And as a law student who was hammered she started doling out the "You have no right to refuse me! I know the law!" stuff which the bouncers laughed off.

Anyway, as she was a friend and not a romantic attachment to anyone, we left her outside with one of her other friends to continue the argument whilst the rest of us piled in. Had a good night, all in all.

Not been to a nightclub since - ooh - 2001 or so.

[jamamafegan]

The most annoying thing is when you're in a group and the bouncers refuse to let one in. That happened to me in the Fubar in Stirling back in 98 or 99. A group (boys and girls) arrived at the door but my friend Sally was told she wasn't getting in for being too drunk. No excuse - she was hammered. Could hardly walk. It was like watching a giraffe ice skate. And as a law student who was hammered she started doling out the "You have no right to refuse me! I know the law!" stuff which the bouncers laughed off.

Anyway, as she was a friend and not a romantic attachment to anyone, we left her outside with one of her other friends to continue the argument whilst the rest of us piled in. Had a good night, all in all.

"And so Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as we're walking on by..."

[Sloop John B]

I used to be terrible for getting KBed but I've managed to learn to look less drunk as I've matured with age. I seemed to struggle with the Hive bouncers for no real reason and be fine going into George street no bother, maybe I just look like a massive arsehole. Last time I was actually kicked out was Cav last year and to be fair I did have a couple of MDs (Orange Joob ) beforehand and then fell on the stairs.

I did get into Chancers in Dumfries, utterly smashed, wearing shorts and flip flops. But that might just be because Chancers is the worst place on earth.

[Bobby Skidmarks]

Got a few more contributions to make to this.

Few months ago I am out with 2 of my mates in Edinburgh, took in a few pubs round the grass market, worked our way down Lothian Road into Ryans for a pint and over to Harry`s Bar. Been out since about 5pm as I am sure Columbia Greece game was on at 3 sisters when we were in there.

Any way about 1am, pretty pished at this point we decide the Jam House will be our final destination jumps in a taxi gets along there no problem with bouncer. Pay our door money and one of my mates goes to bar, I am dying on a shite and head of to the toilet. In doing my business and gets a knock on the door which I thought strange but I was concentrating so ignored it,. Finshed my business opened the door and went to wash my hands when (trying hard not to be racist here) the little cvnt of a toilet attendant demanded £10 form me to keep him quiet. For a second or two I was wondering why he had the audacity to ask me for a tenner when I hadnt even had a scoosh of his aftershave then it hit me, he thought I was in bog doing coke. I asked himto come over to cubicle and he would probably smell what I was doing and walked out toilet.

Just gets back to the bar and my mate hands me my pint take one drink and gets a tap on the shoulder, a bouncer asking me for a word outside. Started to walk the realised what was happening the wee p***k in the bog had went as told bouncer I was snorting coke so I went radio rental, never came to any violence but was well pissed off. The next day I was sitting thinking about it and decided to email the Jam House, so sent a big email saying how disappointed I was and if this has happened to me how many more folk had a similar experience and what if I was doing drugs and I paid him are they happy that he is being allowed to do this, never even got a reply back.

Really left a bad taste in my mouth about this.

That would've been the cocaine.

[Honest_Man#1]

Casino bouncers are terrible for KB's but obviously you're always smashed when trying to go in so it's understandable they reject you. However, I've never understood why they don just let smashed folk in, they be chucking money away more than the gambling addicts sitting in there sober at 4am.

[Fuctifano]

Only place I've ever been thrown out of after getting in was a Wetherspoons, not sure if that's a badge of honour or shame. Or both.

Glad my days of queueing to get into places like the Garage are behind me, although bizarrely I had a 100% record at getting in there- some of the wankier places on Bath St, not so much. I always look drunk in photos even when it's only the start of the night so guessing this applies to bouncers looking at me as well.

Once got knocked back from Fury Murrys (that's definitely in the shame category) after the bouncers said me and my mate had been spotted on CCTV fighting in St Enoch Square. I actually just accepted it, even though I knew it wasn't true.

[jamamafegan]

Finshed my business opened the door and went to wash my hands when (trying hard not to be racist here) the little cvnt of a toilet attendant demanded £10 form me to keep him quiet.

[Boomtown Boy]

That would've been the cocaine.

If I was doing that I would have accepted the outcome, no a probably would have paid the wee cvnt. Had my years of doing that shit but not for years

Anyway in my experience I have found if you gub and ecci without water and dinni get it over your throat before it starts to melt that really does leave a bad tatse

[Boomtown Boy]

well if i said he was a wee black cvnt would that make me racist or descriptive

[Bobby Skidmarks]

well if i said he was a wee black cvnt would that make me racist or descriptive

I don't think his colour had anything to do with him getting you thrown out.

[jamamafegan]

well if i said he was a wee black cvnt would that make me racist or descriptive

Not being racist isn't difficult tbh - it's not something you really have to try hard not to be.

[Sweet Pete]

A girl's mum and dad caught me on the job with their daughter in their kitchen at 4 in the morning after a night in there.

She had forgot they were getting up early to catch a flight.

Still made it down to the Nasty Spot for a take away afterwards.

The Nasty Spot was incredible. They would deliver until dawn. Even if you just wanted a cheese burger and king size Rizlas. It was always a good place to end up involved in handbags at the end of the night as there was a queue of drunks in or around it and the taxi rank up the road and the pubs nearby.

I had the Boulie in their originally, but was unsure just how well known it was to those from outside a few miles radius of it.

The place was a time warp. I recall ending up in there one night after managing to avoid going for a good 7 or 8 years. Nothing had changed. Even the punters were exactly the same folk who had been going when I was 18/19. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. In the end I got steaming and chased my hole.

Almost disappointed when it closed. The pub that has replaced it just doesn't do it justice.

ETA, talking about the Boulie has brought back possibly my greatest nightclub KB.

Was a Saturday afternoon in November/December and I wound up going to a Celtic match, away to St Mirren. Was an early kick off at Love St and a friend had won hospitality tickets as a result of some promotion at his work(Clydesdale Bank when they sponsored the SPL I think), so a few of us went for the bevvy session. Started drinking before we headed to Paisley at around 10am, continued before, during and after the match, got a taxi back to Clydebank and went straight to Chandlers, then I think Alexanders, then ended up in Duntocher for a few beers in a couple of different pubs. Me and the other guy still out at this point were well oiled and didn't want the night to end, and decided that the Boulie was the obvious destination, so got a taxi from Duntocher and jumped out at the bottom of the stairs, to be met by a bouncer walking across from the bar downstairs, who didn't even wait until he was in front of us to knock us back. Just gave it "Not tonight lads" from a good 5 meters away. We asked why. He answered "It's only 8pm and we don't open for another 2 hours". Nothing we could really come back with to that one.

The Boulie was always like that. I used to go in very rarely and I'd meet folk I went to high school with that I hadn't been friends with and hadn't seen since school maybe a decade earlier and they'd come up and say hi

Turned up at 11pm one night blitzed after a skinful at home and there was no-one there yet, just me and my mate pished. He ended up falling asleep against the DJ's speakers.

Another night they had no lager on tap, only heavy. That was fine for me as I like heavy, but it did strike me as weird that a nightclub would even have heavy on tap at all.

It was a strange mix of fun and awful. Really depended on the crowd you were with and how much bevvy you'd had in my experience. Desire in Balloch (known locally as "nightmares" or "shitemares" as it used to be called "Nightingales") is similar in that respect. A low rent night out that can be either really fun or completely piss poor.

ETA: You'd never tell you used to be a Celtic fan with that series of pubs, Ross... You might as well have stopped at chapel on the way home

[forever_blue]

Definitely. I think a big part of the reason that Switzerland is full of characterless, pretentious wankers is down to the fact that they never experienced a night at Clatty's, Madness, the Savoy or Bonkers.

My uncle used to be a bouncer for that bonkers place in the 90s

[Shengus Khan]

jumped out at the bottom of the stairs, to be met by a bouncer walking across from the bar downstairs, who didn't even wait until he was in front of us to knock us back. Just gave it "Not tonight lads" from a good 5 meters away. We asked why. He answered "It's only 8pm and we don't open for another 2 hours". Nothing we could really come back with to that one.

Something similar happened to myself and 3 mates at the old Mardi (rip) in Dundee circa 2000 ish. We were only 16 or 17 at the time and none of us had fake ids and were absolutely guttered (probably on smirnoff ice and Glens vodka). We turned up at about 9pm only to be laughed away by the bouncers and told that we were an hour early. Unperturbed by this news we wandered the mean streets and returned at 10pm* on the dot to be met by the same bouncers who said something like "you're keen, boys!" along with a few more laughs but we were amazingly let in!

Also on that night one of my mates managed to spew into an empty beer bottle which I thought was a remarkable effort. Seeing his lumpy bile contained in the receptacle reminded me of those ships you get in a bottle when you think "how the f**k did they manage that?".

*I should say that we had never been to a club before so had no idea that you probably shouldn't turn up bang on opening time. The place was, obviously, fucking deserted apart from 4 naive young fools.