sjc Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Yep, Garage has always been the Mecca of cunty bouncers. Which is remarkable really because its a shithole filled with absolute pondlife. Its particularly annoying when the bouncers at places like that have the temerity to act like they're deciding wheter to let you into Hakassan or something. Very definitely this! I remember about 15years back being out a works do on a Wednesday or Thursday night (it was "student night") and the bouncers wouldn't let us in despite my boss having about a grand in his pocket ready to spend on us all! We ended up in Clatty Pats! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Very definitely this! I remember about 15years back being out a works do on a Wednesday or Thursday night (it was "student night") and the bouncers wouldn't let us in despite my boss having about a grand in his pocket ready to spend on us all! We ended up in Clatty Pats! Yasssss! I have many a (hazy) fond memory of Clatty's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Yasssss! I have many a (hazy) fond memory of Clatty's. I only remember it being full of ugly burds and my feet sticking to the carpet! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I only remember it being full of ugly burds and my feet sticking to the carpet! Probably because the good looking ones had gone up the road with me. Zing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forever_blue Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 For most saying bamboo and Kokomo I have never really had an issue with trying to get into them as for Kushion , I have probably tried about 5 occasions to get in and failed each time although only once was I pished to be fair and a slurring shambles. On one occasion one of my mates asked the bouncer why only for him to be asked "if he wanted to discuss it further round the back " by some seething baldy steroid junkie. #Scenes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 For most saying bamboo and Kokomo I have never really had an issue with trying to get into them as for Kushion , I have probably tried about 5 occasions to get in and failed each time although only once was I pished to be fair and a slurring shambles. On one occasion one of my mates asked the bouncer why only for him to be asked "if he wanted to discuss it further round the back " by some seething baldy steroid junkie. #Scenes I remember being in Kushion one night - pretentious as fcuk springs to mind. I was only there as a "supporting role" for my mate that had pulled some girl.......I ended up fcuking off and getting a taxi back to Perth. Cost me £100 with the psychotic taxi driver deciding that whilst doing 80mph on the M80 was the best time and place to start snorting lines of coke! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I've not been launched from that many establishments but it's usually for being asleep. I remember being in the Theatre Royal once when I was about 19 and putting down my pint so hard on the table that the glass exploded like an IED and showered everyone in about a twenty foot radius with beer and glass. The boy behind the bar came out with a dustpan and brush and sweeped it up and got me another pint. You seem to have to get up to some outrageous antics to get flung out of places in Edinburgh. That reminded me of being in some grotty bar in Ibiza with the wife. We took our brightly coloured drinks to one of those annoying high tables with tall chairs at it, sat down and proceeded to drunkenly try and shout at each other over the music. As it turns out, if you can't hear your missus for the music at one of those tall table things, it's not a good idea to put your feet on the bars of your stool and hoist yourself half way over the table to try and hear. They have quite a high centre of gravity, and the whole thing just fucking tumbled, but in that slow motion way where you can anticipate you're going down but can't stop yourself. Cue the flailing arms and yelping. Table broke, chairs everywhere, drinks flying and glasses smashed. Two bouncers rushed over and I thought the shoeing would certainly follow, but they picked both of us up, checked we were fine and got us more drinks. Possibly it had happened before, or maybe I got away with it because we were a couple rather than a stag night or whatever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Probably because the good looking ones had gone up the road with me. Zing! ^^^went home alone crying uncontrollably. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 That reminded me of being in some grotty bar in Ibiza with the wife. We took our brightly coloured drinks to one of those annoying high tables with tall chairs at it, sat down and proceeded to drunkenly try and shout at each other over the music. As it turns out, if you can't hear your missus for the music at one of those tall table things, it's not a good idea to put your feet on the bars of your stool and hoist yourself half way over the table to try and hear. They have quite a high centre of gravity, and the whole thing just fucking tumbled, but in that slow motion way where you can anticipate you're going down but can't stop yourself. Cue the flailing arms and yelping. Table broke, chairs everywhere, drinks flying and glasses smashed. Two bouncers rushed over and I thought the shoeing would certainly follow, but they picked both of us up, checked we were fine and got us more drinks. Possibly it had happened before, or maybe I got away with it because we were a couple rather than a stag night or whatever. That narrows it down! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Very definitely this! I remember about 15years back being out a works do on a Wednesday or Thursday night (it was "student night") and the bouncers wouldn't let us in despite my boss having about a grand in his pocket ready to spend on us all! We ended up in Clatty Pats! Yasssss! I have many a (hazy) fond memory of Clatty's. My mate Craig was slung out of Clatty's one night for fingering a bird against the bar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 My mate Craig was slung out of Clatty's one night for fingering a bird against the bar. good man! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I dont recognise you as a regular was an all too common one when i used to go out clubbing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I dont recognise you as a regular was an all too common one when i used to go out clubbing. I learned quickly that "How do I become a regular if you never let me in?" is not the response to this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chupacabra Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Never been KB'd by any clubs, although a few of my mates have. Don't know what I have to do to be denied entry tbh, once got into Dusk barely managing to remember my name. Got in, sat down, then ran straight back out to spew everywhere. Only then the bouncer shouted "You're not getting back in!", but aye, no shit Sherlock. I just wanted home by that point so I wasn't too bothered. Once went to Bamboo, got in fine, then a few hours later I got escorted out for being too drunk, after which I wasn't allowed back in. About 30 minutes afterwards I was passing out outside Glasgow Central so they were probably correct on that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I learned quickly that "How do I become a regular if you never let me in?" is not the response to this. What sort of an attitude is it to have though seriously? its like them putting a sign there saying they don't like outsiders! They have to keep the women/men ratio at a certain level so its fair enough but at least say that without acting like a c**t! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScottR96 Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Never been KB'd by any clubs, although a few of my mates have. Don't know what I have to do to be denied entry tbh, once got into Dusk barely managing to remember my name. Got in, sat down, then ran straight back out to spew everywhere. Only then the bouncer shouted "You're not getting back in!", but aye, no shit Sherlock. I just wanted home by that point so I wasn't too bothered. Tell us more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 My mate Craig was slung out of Clatty's one night for fingering a bird against the bar. I asked the bouncer to eject some drunken buffon that drunkenly tried to finger me at the bar in Clatty's. Didn't even buy me a drink Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I asked the bouncer to eject some drunken buffon that drunkenly tried to finger me at the bar in Clatty's. Didn't even buy me a drink Would you say he had a safe pair of hands? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 We ended up in Clatty Pats! Was in there twice in my younger days. Once at 16 on a works night out, when I probably looked about 12 having put in too much effort at trying to make myself look older, and once at 18 when I stupidly tried to down a full pint after losing a bet and promptly brought it straight back up, mostly in the glass and partly on my hand and arm. Horrendous place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Would you say he had a safe pair of hands? Fingers like Richmond sausages Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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