Depression

[buchan30]

For your weight. If you get the myfitnesspal app. That will help track what you are eating, i know i am more conscious about my choices when i am tracking it. 
the key with it is to spend a week tracking what you eat normally and see where you can reduce the calories. When you put in your height/weight etc and a goal it should give you a rough guide as to how much calories you should be eating each day. 

Edited February 3, 2023 by buchan30

[thistledo]

9 hours ago, Autistisches Nilpferd said:

Struggling just now. Mostly with my size. My weight has been up and down like a yo-yo over tye years and at the moment I'm a fat c**t. I do exercise, I don't drink. Just eat too much shite to get it shifted. I also have a partner whose mental health isn't great and he's still mourning his grandad from last April and that manifests in eating. On cirtalopram and I wonder if the increase in appetite is actually outweighing the mental health benefits.

Any tips would be gratefully appreciated 

If not already doing it in your exercise routine lifting heavy things, the heavier the better (without causing injury), highly recommend it for mood and weight loss. I'm fairly light and probably eat about 4000 calories a day easy. Find myself massively hungry, but not for shite anymore.  

[SlipperyP]

Why the f**k can I not be normal?

When i post about my life, it kicks in, pishing against the wind

I don't know what normal is, by f**k it would be good to experience it.

trying hard folks, trying fucking hard

[scottsdad]

9 minutes ago, SlipperyP said:

Why the f**k can I not be normal?

When i post about my life, it kicks in, pishing against the wind

I don't know what normal is, by f**k it would be good to experience it.

trying hard folks, trying fucking hard

This might sound glib but there is no normal. Everyone is unique. All you can do is be yourself and if others don't like it, that's their problem and not yours. 

You're a good guy, that's the thing to remember. 

['WellDel]

9 minutes ago, SlipperyP said:

Why the f**k can I not be normal?

When i post about my life, it kicks in, pishing against the wind

I don't know what normal is, by f**k it would be good to experience it.

trying hard folks, trying fucking hard

 

What is normal, though? I'll be fucked if I know. It means something different to every one of us.

Normal home life? Partner, kids, house, car? To some folk that would be hell on earth.

 Normal work life? 9-5 in an office? I'd be climbing the walls by 10am.

There's literally no definitive 'normal' so we can only try to be the best version of ourselves that we can be. It's shit when you hit tough times at work or financially etc, but especially so when it's mentally. You come across as a good guy, and resilient too. You've obviously had a rough time lately, but you'll get through it.

Just keep on keepin' on my man, and most importantly, just keep on being you.

[SlipperyP]

On 02/02/2023 at 04:37, DA Baracus said:

Intrusive thoughts and/or catastrophizing maybe? They're shite, very annoying too!

The brain is often a dickhead. Daft spongy tit that it is.

Stay strong lad!

Very intrusive, i've been living here for 15 years solid now, every year I have to go to immigration and hand over paperwork 44 pages and then duplicate it for some reason, so 88 pages. 

This involves all my financial in and outs for 1 year, with 800,000  baht resting in my current account, stamped from the bank (on same day of meeting immigration officer) 

Medical records from a government doctor, with test results...blood, drug, alcohol, HIV & chest xray.

House records, my wife owner of the house and land, stamped by local district.

3 children, letter from their school, that they a registered and letter from head teacher to say I'm involved with there studies

ohh forgot, my tax records and work permit, with letter from the owner of the business (in my case there is no owner), meaning I have to get a letter from the head monk, to get stamped at the local council office for them to then take photos of me at my work place.

photos of me and family outside my house and inside, then after application I/we have to wait at our house for an immigration officer and another to come and take photo with them at my house, outside and inside.

then when I'm in the office of immigration I have to draw a map from there office to my house, not shitting you here.

more photos, hand over my passport and driving licence.

hope for the best....15 years doing this DA, 15 years.  I hate February, get stamped for 1 month then sent to BKK for approval.

1 year BKK immigration came to me house at 20:30 and we all had to stand outside the house, while they interview my neighbours, 1 officer, right c**t could speak good English turned round and said to me 'say, bye bye to your son, your neighbour is speaking bad about you'....I can speak Thai not to his knowledge, repeated in Thai what my neighbour just said, calm collective @SlipperyP calm and fucking collective.

Love life, be good, stay safe.  

[HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows]

28 minutes ago, SlipperyP said:

Very intrusive, i've been living here for 15 years solid now, every year I have to go to immigration and hand over paperwork 44 pages and then duplicate it for some reason, so 88 pages. 

This involves all my financial in and outs for 1 year, with 800,000  baht resting in my current account, stamped from the bank (on same day of meeting immigration officer) 

Medical records from a government doctor, with test results...blood, drug, alcohol, HIV & chest xray.

House records, my wife owner of the house and land, stamped by local district.

3 children, letter from their school, that they a registered and letter from head teacher to say I'm involved with there studies

ohh forgot, my tax records and work permit, with letter from the owner of the business (in my case there is no owner), meaning I have to get a letter from the head monk, to get stamped at the local council office for them to then take photos of me at my work place.

photos of me and family outside my house and inside, then after application I/we have to wait at our house for an immigration officer and another to come and take photo with them at my house, outside and inside.

then when I'm in the office of immigration I have to draw a map from there office to my house, not shitting you here.

more photos, hand over my passport and driving licence.

hope for the best....15 years doing this DA, 15 years.  I hate February, get stamped for 1 month then sent to BKK for approval.

1 year BKK immigration came to me house at 20:30 and we all had to stand outside the house, while they interview my neighbours, 1 officer, right c**t could speak good English turned round and said to me 'say, bye bye to your son, your neighbour is speaking bad about you'....I can speak Thai not to his knowledge, repeated in Thai what my neighbour just said, calm collective @SlipperyP calm and fucking collective.

Love life, be good, stay safe.  

Bar that, nothing much tho?

[SlipperyP]

36 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

This might sound glib but there is no normal. Everyone is unique. All you can do is be yourself and if others don't like it, that's their problem and not yours. 

You're a good guy, that's the thing to remember. 

 

27 minutes ago, 'WellDel said:

What is normal, though? I'll be fucked if I know. It means something different to every one of us.

Normal home life? Partner, kids, house, car? To some folk that would be hell on earth.

 Normal work life? 9-5 in an office? I'd be climbing the walls by 10am.

There's literally no definitive 'normal' so we can only try to be the best version of ourselves that we can be. It's shit when you hit tough times at work or financially etc, but especially so when it's mentally. You come across as a good guy, and resilient too. You've obviously had a rough time lately, but you'll get through it.

Just keep on keepin' on my man, and most importantly, just keep on being you.

Thanks, the word normal ffs, 

What I meant, was reading folk on this website, not being homesick, but ah f**k I don't know....bit like you. If you know what I mean?

should have said... why I'm I fucking mental.

I have no anger issues, they all left me when I was in my late 20's. Getting the shite kicked out of you does that (I must admit I gave a few my self).

I suffer from the good old eye water, don't know if it's age or what, but I'll be sitting/walking/driving and see/hear someone and I'll get all emotional, to the extent that I have to walk away from where I am. 

My reputation of a mean fucking evil fucker, has become a teary eye nobody. Most days I like, not today.

Sorry listeners, I'm boring the arse off you.  I'm here all month if anyone want to PM me.

[Venti]

32 minutes ago, SlipperyP said:

Very intrusive, i've been living here for 15 years solid now, every year I have to go to immigration and hand over paperwork 44 pages and then duplicate it for some reason, so 88 pages. 

This involves all my financial in and outs for 1 year, with 800,000  baht resting in my current account, stamped from the bank (on same day of meeting immigration officer) 

Medical records from a government doctor, with test results...blood, drug, alcohol, HIV & chest xray.

House records, my wife owner of the house and land, stamped by local district.

3 children, letter from their school, that they a registered and letter from head teacher to say I'm involved with there studies

ohh forgot, my tax records and work permit, with letter from the owner of the business (in my case there is no owner), meaning I have to get a letter from the head monk, to get stamped at the local council office for them to then take photos of me at my work place.

photos of me and family outside my house and inside, then after application I/we have to wait at our house for an immigration officer and another to come and take photo with them at my house, outside and inside.

then when I'm in the office of immigration I have to draw a map from there office to my house, not shitting you here.

more photos, hand over my passport and driving licence.

hope for the best....15 years doing this DA, 15 years.  I hate February, get stamped for 1 month then sent to BKK for approval.

1 year BKK immigration came to me house at 20:30 and we all had to stand outside the house, while they interview my neighbours, 1 officer, right c**t could speak good English turned round and said to me 'say, bye bye to your son, your neighbour is speaking bad about you'....I can speak Thai not to his knowledge, repeated in Thai what my neighbour just said, calm collective @SlipperyP calm and fucking collective.

Love life, be good, stay safe.  

From your past posts it sounds like you've been tanning the drink & maybe pills.

That's just a recipe for disaster mate. Heavy highs & lows. Not to mention the fear/withdrawal.

Stay safe & try to not use things like that to block out stuff you don't want to confront.

[SlipperyP]

7 minutes ago, Venti said:

From your past posts it sounds like you've been tanning the drink & maybe pills.

That's just a recipe for disaster mate. Heavy highs & lows. Not to mention the fear/withdrawal.

Stay safe & try to not use things like that to block out stuff you don't want to confront.

Thanks, today yes having a few beers (speak to you and friends on P&B, my only friends), as for pills, not had anything like that for 17 years, and will never go back.

I'll have a cold shower in the morning (don't have hot), feed the dogs (yes folks I have dogs) and probably batter a banana tree (keep fit), all before the sunrise.

[Venti]

 

13 minutes ago, SlipperyP said:

Thanks, today yes having a few beers (speak to you and friends on P&B, my only friends), as for pills, not had anything like that for 17 years, and will never go back.

I'll have a cold shower in the morning (don't have hot), feed the dogs (yes folks I have dogs) and probably batter a banana tree (keep fit), all before the sunrise.

P&B friends are still friends. Would be preferable if you had tangible friends for a hug. (Corny I know)

[SlipperyP]

6 minutes ago, Venti said:

 

P&B friends are still friends. Would be preferable if you had tangible friends for a hug. (Corny I know)

Usually have my kids to hug but there away with the wife  to stay at the grandparents house today....not seen anyone since 07:30, a lonely man in the jungle will eat himself, why I'm posting shite all day, its crazy as  it only takes a few hours

[Venti]

15 minutes ago, SlipperyP said:

Usually have my kids to hug but there away with the wife  to stay at the grandparents house today....not seen anyone since 07:30, a lonely man in the jungle will eat himself, why I'm posting shite all day, its crazy as  it only takes a few hours

Posting shite is the P&B way. If it puts you at ease or chills you TF out then it's worthwhile.

[SlipperyP]

5 minutes ago, Venti said:

Posting shite is the P&B way. If it puts you at ease or chills you TF out then it's worthwhile.

100%

I also get PM's from gid c***s on here, fucking makes me happy bro

[SlipperyP]

9 minutes ago, Venti said:

Posting shite is the P&B way. If it puts you at ease or chills you TF out then it's worthwhile.

I used to send 'gid posters' out the blue PM's of  inspirational life and love. 

They know who they are....Greatest thing about that,  was not the replies,  which was many, but nobody spoke about it on the open forum.

Just giving out the love when I have it, thanks for you doing it for me today. 

[Alert Mongoose]

1 hour ago, SlipperyP said:

and probably batter a banana tree

This is my favourite euphemism of this year, Slippery.

[SlipperyP]

14 minutes ago, Alert Mongoose said:

This is my favourite euphemism of this year, Slippery.

Unfortunately it's not, I live next to a banana farm. The Thai boxer  boss told/show me one day hitting the tree is the same as hitting a man(same texture), only problem the tree will not give in like a man....You punch and kick until it goes down,

After that, if anyone wants to fight you today, you run like f**k, your power has gone..... 

Edited February 10, 2023 by SlipperyP

[Venti]

1 hour ago, SlipperyP said:

Unfortunately it's not, I live next to a banana farm. The Thai boxer  boss told/show me one day hitting the tree is the same as hitting a man(same texture), only problem the tree will not give in like a man....You punch and kick until it goes down,

After that, if anyone wants to fight you today, you run like f**k, your power has gone..... 

Didn't realise Sagat ran a banana farm. Get him to teach you Tiger Uppercut.

[SlipperyP]

4 minutes ago, Venti said:

Didn't realise Sagat ran a banana farm. Get him to teach you Tiger Uppercut.

Shat myself there. .thought you my tutor..

His name is Satang (penny in English). Guy has hands that give a brick layer to shame. 

i'd be punching and kicking at the tree, this c**t hits it and it falls, my heart, lungs and dignity just zapped. Same age as me.

He also teaches methods of meditation, 

Another good c**t of life

I'll never get tired of saying this,

Be good, stay safe.

 

[Bairnardo]

Having a bit of a time of it the now. Loads going on with the wife's maw, who is effectively dying. 

That's not directly the reason for how I feel though. I am strong enough to "keep the home fires burning" as it were. The problem for me lies in the more selfish thoughts... The ones about how it feels like this couple with the protracted loss of my own parents a few years back is robbing time out out of the prime years of my life. I mean I get that it's a shite deal for all the ones iv lost/losing. They were all in the bracket of "that's nae age at all really", but I can't get past the feeling that by the time it all plays out and the inevitable sadness subsides, I'm a few years older, more jaded, more burnt out. 

The wife said something that plays on my mind every say. She said "I feel like I'm losing my sparkle". It was a throwaway comment and I actually sometimes say it in jest now when I'm joking about me and my pals getting older but in truth it really fucking landed. It feels exactly like what has happened to me over the years and through the various shite events that have happened. Each one has left a hole that can't be filled.

And that leads to me to my worry for the wife. The whole it leaves in her life will be bigger than mine ever was. And there's the practical (and this is where I feel its selfish tgoughts) side of it all too.... We only have one babysitter. It won't be long till its none and we become one of they couples who don't get to do things together. 

I sort of already feel a drift, as if we are going to be forced to have a life each, and a life together. 

I don't think I'm REALLY low the now, or depressed, but there's certainly some clouds in my mind about what the near future holds, and how I'm going to hold my family together. But the context of the thoughts.... IE, I can't stop myself from still wanting a life and not having to wait several more years effectively "on pause" because of reason of grief, feels selfish which then makes me feel a bit shitty really. 

Bit of a ramble, but feels good to type it.