Depression

[Jacksgranda]

19 hours ago, SweeperDee said:

Thank you, and everyone else for the support folks. I’m on a bit of an even keel now, away to go for a walk with a pal and help her with her dog.

That's good

[RH33]

Here's a funny story for all.of us who've tried access help on NHS.in.crisis.

After 75min of no answer. Crying and shaking I take.my self to the GP surgery. State that I need to speak to nurse or GP as I may need IHTT. Now I'm clearly having a crisis. The receptionist asks for more details as without it she can't decide if I can get appointment.

I leave in worse state than I entered. My friend offered to call and got same receptionist who put me down for a callback.

That was 6 hours ago.

I've taken my fourth dose of diazepam which I use as a rescue medication. I'm calm and safe for now. 

My old practice wouldn't have let me leave, but then the receptionists were a rare bread that weren't utter c***s. 

The nature of my condition means I get overwhelming crisis that are.acute and can be dangerous. This started last night. They can last hours or days. It can end up in minor self harm Upto suidice attempts. Neither will happen as kids due home and who'd look.after shug ma Dug!

I could've gone and sat in A&E but you get treated like shite there at any stage of crisis so no point.

Ride the storm, it'll probably last until mid January.

It's horrible time of year, I've friends that will prop me up and get me through. 

[scottsdad]

7 minutes ago, RH33 said:

Here's a funny story for all.of us who've tried access help on NHS.in.crisis.

After 75min of no answer. Crying and shaking I take.my self to the GP surgery. State that I need to speak to nurse or GP as I may need IHTT. Now I'm clearly having a crisis. The receptionist asks for more details as without it she can't decide if I can get appointment.

I leave in worse state than I entered. My friend offered to call and got same receptionist who put me down for a callback.

That was 6 hours ago.

I've taken my fourth dose of diazepam which I use as a rescue medication. I'm calm and safe for now. 

My old practice wouldn't have let me leave, but then the receptionists were a rare bread that weren't utter c***s. 

The nature of my condition means I get overwhelming crisis that are.acute and can be dangerous. This started last night. They can last hours or days. It can end up in minor self harm Upto suidice attempts. Neither will happen as kids due home and who'd look.after shug ma Dug!

I could've gone and sat in A&E but you get treated like shite there at any stage of crisis so no point.

Ride the storm, it'll probably last until mid January.

It's horrible time of year, I've friends that will prop me up and get me through. 

Very best wishes. I really hope they do get back to you and offer some kind of help.

[RH33]

4 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

Very best wishes. I really hope they do get back to you and offer some kind of help.

They'll call but have nothing to offer, IHTT isn't any use and I'm not at stage inpatient. By time I'd actually see the psychiatrist who kindly keeps me.om his books because he knows postcodes shouldn't mean change service, it'll be long settled.

Sadly thing are going to get worse for so many. I've had issues since I was 16, I'm now 40 so I know what to expect. I feel for people in crisis for first time who can't even get a GP receptionist to use common sense.

The Kessock bridge has been closed due to concern for person almost weekly over last couple months.

 

Edited December 19, 2022 by RH33

[++Ammo - Airdrie++]

Not been on this thread for a few years but here goes, better out than in eh......

Issues since 2011, culminating in a horrible period, April 2021 and a miscalculated attempt at finishing it stupidly.  Since then I've gave up drinking regularly (maybe 3/4 times a year now), came off the Mirtazipine slowly, lost 5 stone in weight, walking regularly and managed to screw the nut and climb the ladder in work.  With that comes greater work pressure which i am absolutely not handling at all.  The last 2/3 weeks have been absolute hell, and while its not so much "depression" anymore, its pure anxiety, physically not wanting to go out the house, worrying about every single decision I make in work.  I wake up at 4:15, walk the dog, have my coffee, sit in the morning with a horrible feeling in my stomach, then sitting in work from 7:30am to 6:30pm, going over every f*cking detail of every f*cking job, I can leave when I like btw and catch up with emails at home, then my old mans got a brain tumour they could only remove half of..... its making its way back to stage 3, so leave work, sitting in his house until 8pm, then need to go home and squeeze a bit of family life in with the wife, 2 kids and 2 dogs......trying to sleep, then back out at 4am.  COnstantly worrying about work, my dad, then taking it out on family, work colleagues.

I've recognised this job is far too much pressure for me, so I've spoke to the managing director and asked to step down back to being the technical surveyor, he's agreed and I see a small bit of a light at the end of the tunnel.  I'm actually quite proud that I've recognised this is an issue and its causing me to undo all the good work in the last 18+ months, can't go back there.

[TxRover]

4 minutes ago, ++Ammo - Airdrie++ said:

Not been on this thread for a few years but here goes, better out than in eh......

Issues since 2011, culminating in a horrible period, April 2021 and a miscalculated attempt at finishing it stupidly.  Since then I've gave up drinking regularly (maybe 3/4 times a year now), came off the Mirtazipine slowly, lost 5 stone in weight, walking regularly and managed to screw the nut and climb the ladder in work.  With that comes greater work pressure which i am absolutely not handling at all.  The last 2/3 weeks have been absolute hell, and while its not so much "depression" anymore, its pure anxiety, physically not wanting to go out the house, worrying about every single decision I make in work.  I wake up at 4:15, walk the dog, have my coffee, sit in the morning with a horrible feeling in my stomach, then sitting in work from 7:30am to 6:30pm, going over every f*cking detail of every f*cking job, I can leave when I like btw and catch up with emails at home, then my old mans got a brain tumour they could only remove half of..... its making its way back to stage 3, so leave work, sitting in his house until 8pm, then need to go home and squeeze a bit of family life in with the wife, 2 kids and 2 dogs......trying to sleep, then back out at 4am.  COnstantly worrying about work, my dad, then taking it out on family, work colleagues.

I've recognised this job is far too much pressure for me, so I've spoke to the managing director and asked to step down back to being the technical surveyor, he's agreed and I see a small bit of a light at the end of the tunnel.  I'm actually quite proud that I've recognised this is an issue and its causing me to undo all the good work in the last 18+ months, can't go back there.

Excellent news that your employer recognizes the value of your work for them AND your value as a human being in staying healthy and not overwhelmed. Too many would say “suck it up” and end up driving away a valuable employee (or worse). Good job being proactive in protecting your mental health, and it will get better with this retrenchment to a position that doesn’t generate the stress your current one does. Hopefully the company can get someone in quickly, at least for you to begin getting up to speed, and thus lowering your load/stress.

Sorry to hear about the tumour, but the habits you’ve built over the last 18+ months will only help more as you once again decompress a bit, and will let you deal with even that in a more tolerable manner.

[++Ammo - Airdrie++]

18 minutes ago, TxRover said:

Excellent news that your employer recognizes the value of your work for them AND your value as a human being in staying healthy and not overwhelmed. Too many would say “suck it up” and end up driving away a valuable employee (or worse). Good job being proactive in protecting your mental health, and it will get better with this retrenchment to a position that doesn’t generate the stress your current one does. Hopefully the company can get someone in quickly, at least for you to begin getting up to speed, and thus lowering your load/stress.

Sorry to hear about the tumour, but the habits you’ve built over the last 18+ months will only help more as you once again decompress a bit, and will let you deal with even that in a more tolerable manner.

I'm a very easy ohsy guy, genuinely just want to retire onto a remote island with the Mrs and about 10 dugs, no phones, no nothing, just peace.  I thought in the last year and a bit I was flying and I was ready for this job....and I was.... my employer knows I can do the job 100%, I've been in this industry for nearly 20 years, built up a lot of good contacts and know a lot of folk and talk to a lot of folk from different companies in the same industry, I love working for the company and they've been nothing but supportive, offering me online GP help if I cant get my own doctor etc, but I'm going to see if this change helps, which I think it will.  The MD already told me to only come into work 10-4, or come in at 8 and leave about 2,3 or 4pm, but I'm a creature of habit and days off and half days really f*ck my head up coz I dont know what to do with myself.  In the last week I've probably opened up to more people than I have ever done but it's like a light switch in my heads clicked, this is my shit to deal with, no1 elses, so you know what, own it, accept it and talk about it to make it better.

[TxRover]

1 minute ago, ++Ammo - Airdrie++ said:

…but I'm a creature of habit and days off and half days really f*ck my head up coz I dont know what to do with myself.

Here’s a key bit…you need to literally schedule doing the other stuff…write in walking, playing with the dugs, visiting with the old man, etc…use the newly opened times from the step back at work to get you tapped into other things to keep your mind from sabotaging yourself.

[Raidernation]

I can't cope.

As you probably know I'm in recovery, so for Christmas this year the family is eating at a fucking bar! So I am not invited, I miss my birthday and my granddaughter's birthday. Feedback, "we're proud but don't come"

[johnnydun]

1 hour ago, Raidernation said:

I can't cope.

As you probably know I'm in recovery, so for Christmas this year the family is eating at a fucking bar! So I am not invited, I miss my birthday and my granddaughter's birthday. Feedback, "we're proud but don't come"

That's not very supportive of them. Are they coming round to see you at all?

[Derry Alli]

I've been awake for nearly 3 days solid now. I had a blazing argument with my closest last night. My mother is unwell. I've basically just jacked my job (took a day off last week and just messaged saying I'm not going back this year). I've asked for help so many times and just keep getting pushed back and my probation isn't up. I get on great with my immediate boss and explained it all so hopefully I don't lose it. I've a mountain of debt and I just can't find the strength to do life anymore.

I can't do it anymore but I can't not do it at this time of year.

At what point is enough enough?

[scottsdad]

26 minutes ago, Mr. Alli said:

I've been awake for nearly 3 days solid now. I had a blazing argument with my closest last night. My mother is unwell. I've basically just jacked my job (took a day off last week and just messaged saying I'm not going back this year). I've asked for help so many times and just keep getting pushed back and my probation isn't up. I get on great with my immediate boss and explained it all so hopefully I don't lose it. I've a mountain of debt and I just can't find the strength to do life anymore.

I can't do it anymore but I can't not do it at this time of year.

At what point is enough enough?

Mate, I hope there is someone in your life you can talk to. A friend, a brother, a doctor. 

This is a very hard time for many people. Hope your boss can see that too. 

On the debt, that is something practical that can be dealt with. I used stepchange a few years ago and they were outstanding. They genuinely can help. I am here if you want to pm me to discuss further. 

You are not alone. 

[RH33]

38 minutes ago, Mr. Alli said:

I've been awake for nearly 3 days solid now. I had a blazing argument with my closest last night. My mother is unwell. I've basically just jacked my job (took a day off last week and just messaged saying I'm not going back this year). I've asked for help so many times and just keep getting pushed back and my probation isn't up. I get on great with my immediate boss and explained it all so hopefully I don't lose it. I've a mountain of debt and I just can't find the strength to do life anymore.

I can't do it anymore but I can't not do it at this time of year.

At what point is enough enough?

This is a horrible time of year for lots of people, myself included.

Forced happiness everywhere.

Use whoever you can to get through next few days, then in new year look at practical changes.

[The Moonster]

57 minutes ago, Mr. Alli said:

I've been awake for nearly 3 days solid now. I had a blazing argument with my closest last night. My mother is unwell. I've basically just jacked my job (took a day off last week and just messaged saying I'm not going back this year). I've asked for help so many times and just keep getting pushed back and my probation isn't up. I get on great with my immediate boss and explained it all so hopefully I don't lose it. I've a mountain of debt and I just can't find the strength to do life anymore.

I can't do it anymore but I can't not do it at this time of year.

At what point is enough enough?

Firstly I hope your mum is on the mend. 

I don't think your work will have grounds to get rid of you if you've raised these issues and they haven't helped out. Is there an HR team you can speak to? They should know they have a duty to help you in these situations. 

On the debt, I had a mate who was ball deep in payday loan debt. He spent about 2 years servicing what he could but ending up in more debt before he took steps to get help for it. The relief he felt after simply starting the process was huge. He pays a tiny amount each month and a few years down the line will be free from it. He said they dealt with everything too, so if you don't feel strong enough to tackle it yourself let someone else do it for you. Send a message to a debt advice agency and see what comes of it. 

This time of year is absolutely shite mate, you aren't alone in feeling what you feel. The end of the year we always look back at what we've done and if we're in poor mental health we view everything negatively. Usually that's not the reality though and things aren't as bad as they seem. I try to get as stoic as I can at this time of year - try and fix the things you have immediate control over and forget anything else for now. 

Feel free to send a PM any time if you need to mate. 

[DA Baracus]

2 hours ago, Mr. Alli said:

I've been awake for nearly 3 days solid now. I had a blazing argument with my closest last night. My mother is unwell. I've basically just jacked my job (took a day off last week and just messaged saying I'm not going back this year). I've asked for help so many times and just keep getting pushed back and my probation isn't up. I get on great with my immediate boss and explained it all so hopefully I don't lose it. I've a mountain of debt and I just can't find the strength to do life anymore.

I can't do it anymore but I can't not do it at this time of year.

At what point is enough enough?

Shite situation to be in.

Seems like issues keep mounting up and it can be hard to know where to start when that happens. It might be worth considering taking a look at the things that are in your control. 

The debt is one and might be a place to start. The Citizens Advice Bureau (I had to look up how to spell 'Bureau'!) can help with this. They run out of the central library (in the Wellgate). Details for getting in touch with them to make an appointment are here. They can discuss your situation and present your with some options. I got in to debt a while back and, after speaking with the CAB got set up with a Debt Arrangement Scheme. This is when they parcel up all your debts an you just pay a sum each month, which is distributed to all the folk you owe money to. Have been doing it for years and only have two payments left. They arrange everything and speak to all of your creditors. You simply need to provide your bank details for the direct debit. 

There may be other options too. CAB can talk through what is available.

Sadly you can't control your maw's health. Hopefully she'll be ok but anything you can do, such as speaking with her, is good.

I know it's basic advice, but (if you haven't already) you should get in touch with your GP as soon as you can to discuss things. They might be able to prescribe something to help you sleep and can look at other options in general. You might also want to look at the Sleepio tool.

Talking to folk might help you. Andy's Man Club meets in Dundee every Monday at 19.00 (at both Boomerang Community Centre on Kemback Street or Change Centre on South Road) although sadly last night was their last meeting on 2022, but they'll be back on 2nd January. You just need to turn up. You can disclose what you want or rant about what you want and no one will judge. You don't need to say anything if you don't want to.

You might also want to check out this list of resources.

And of course there's folk on here who are always happy to speak via PM, myself included.

[Venti]

4 hours ago, Mr. Alli said:

I've been awake for nearly 3 days solid now. I had a blazing argument with my closest last night. My mother is unwell. I've basically just jacked my job (took a day off last week and just messaged saying I'm not going back this year). I've asked for help so many times and just keep getting pushed back and my probation isn't up. I get on great with my immediate boss and explained it all so hopefully I don't lose it. I've a mountain of debt and I just can't find the strength to do life anymore.

I can't do it anymore but I can't not do it at this time of year.

At what point is enough enough?

Sorry to hear this mate. Hope your mum will be ok. Try not to let the job thing weigh you down.

There are folk you can speak to about your debt & I'm sure if your closest knew the shite you are going through then they'd understand.

Don't give up.

[johnnydun]

5 hours ago, Mr. Alli said:

I've been awake for nearly 3 days solid now. I had a blazing argument with my closest last night. My mother is unwell. I've basically just jacked my job (took a day off last week and just messaged saying I'm not going back this year). I've asked for help so many times and just keep getting pushed back and my probation isn't up. I get on great with my immediate boss and explained it all so hopefully I don't lose it. I've a mountain of debt and I just can't find the strength to do life anymore.

I can't do it anymore but I can't not do it at this time of year.

At what point is enough enough?

@DA Baracus

has given out some excellent advice here mate.

I wish your mum well, but unfortunately there are somethings we can't control, all we can do is be there as much as we can for that loved one.

Jobs come and go bud, you seem to be plenty experienced to get another one no bother, look at it more as their loss if they don't take you back. You can control this, and who knows, it might lead to something better.

Debt can be very stressful to deal with but just take a step back bud, but they can't take blood from a stone. I was in shit loads of debt around 8 years ago and got myself sequestered, basically bankrupt, I have recently purchased my first car on HP and my finances are looking OK, there are ways out of this and there is a light at the end. Trust me. Just talk to a debt advice person, they will help.

Away to PM you, might be able to help.

[Derry Alli]

Thanks for the replies, guys.

Have spoken to my boss this morning. He has told me to get whatever it is I need sorted, sorted and he will see me next year as "I don't care about you taking time off to sort your head out. You're about the only one with half a brain in here".

I'm away to go into town and finish off Christmas looting so might try and nip into CAB. 

I've also managed a he'll of a lot of sleep and have calmed down immensely. I'm never, ever going back to a vape. Same as everything, too much of it and it'll damage you. Those things absolutely ruin me into some sort of high nervous disposition. 

Thank you all again.

[RH33]

Glad to hear your boss is understanding and life isn't feeling as overwheming.

 

[moses1924]

No advice for anyone really but just wanted to wish everyone who is finding it hard and posting here all the best, @Mr. Alligood to hear the presure on the job eased a bit, @RH33hope you get through the enforced happiness and @Raidernationsome people can just be really thoughtless, I cant think why anyone would plan a trip to a bar in that situation, happy birthday when it comes, @++Ammo - Airdrie++@SweeperDee @superwell87hope you guys are doing ok and @Hoose Riceas well. Lots of good folk on this thread who post supportive comments and good practical advice @TxRover @scottsdad @DA Baracus @The Moonster @johnnydun At least we all have good, succesful football teams to support to get us through...