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6 minutes ago, Tony Ferrino said:

I can down a litre of Whisky in a day. The day after I do that I’m crawling in a fetal position worrying about everything. 
Then I feel fine and do it again.

A bottle and a half of whisky/gin/vodka every other day is fucking madness, mate.  I like a drink but it's pretty-much impossible to function well at that level of intake.- especially if you have work/kids.

Despite my reputation I actually know when to stop and am well aware of when having a decent drink rolls over in to being a problem.  I'm also well aware of how needing/wanting a few drams to improve your mood can be destructive.

A fair few others on here have been where you are so keep posting.  You won't be judged and you're on the right thread.

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14 minutes ago, The_Kincardine said:

A bottle and a half of whisky/gin/vodka every other day is fucking madness, mate.  I like a drink but it's pretty-much impossible to function well at that level of intake.- especially if you have work/kids.

Despite my reputation I actually know when to stop and am well aware of when having a decent drink rolls over in to being a problem.  I'm also well aware of how needing/wanting a few drams to improve your mood can be destructive.

A fair few others on here have been where you are so keep posting.  You won't be judged and you're on the right thread.

Ok, cheers bud.

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A bottle and a half of whisky/gin/vodka every other day is fucking madness, mate.  I like a drink but it's pretty-much impossible to function well at that level of intake.- especially if you have work/kids.
Despite my reputation I actually know when to stop and am well aware of when having a decent drink rolls over in to being a problem.  I'm also well aware of how needing/wanting a few drams to improve your mood can be destructive.
A fair few others on here have been where you are so keep posting.  You won't be judged and you're on the right thread.
I would very much second this.

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Been a really rough past few months. Lost my gran six weeks ago and my papa passed away last Monday. The wife and myself have split and im currently unemployed. Was taking my dad in and out of Larbert hospital as they found a shadow on his lung which fortunately Wasn't Cancer but he's to go back in 3 months as they don't want to drain the fluid in his lung at this point. I'm sleeping pretty much most of the day and sitting up most of the early hours of the morning and I cant shake myself out of it. I have my papas funeral on Friday and my wife who has moved out is coming to it as I had asked her to but not sure if its the right thing to do. I've had thoughts of ending it but I won't as I know I have family and friends who care about me but I just can't get the niggling thoughts out my head.
Just one step at a time, mate. That's how you get through these things.

Make a decision if you do want your wife to attend the funeral and stick to it. Then focus on the funeral itself, and help your dad as much as you can. Let him help you, too.

Just take things one at a time, and try not to put everything together.

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Been a really rough past few months. Lost my gran six weeks ago and my papa passed away last Monday. The wife and myself have split and im currently unemployed. Was taking my dad in and out of Larbert hospital as they found a shadow on his lung which fortunately Wasn't Cancer but he's to go back in 3 months as they don't want to drain the fluid in his lung at this point. I'm sleeping pretty much most of the day and sitting up most of the early hours of the morning and I cant shake myself out of it. I have my papas funeral on Friday and my wife who has moved out is coming to it as I had asked her to but not sure if its the right thing to do. I've had thoughts of ending it but I won't as I know I have family and friends who care about me but I just can't get the niggling thoughts out my head.

That’s a rough time indeed mate, and I’m sorry to hear. Feel free to ignore me from here because I’m not in your position but control what you can...the job, look at getting another a job as a job in itself. Spend the time you’d spend working to find a new job. Stick at and you’ll get something I’m sure. Try and get your days back on track, break the chain and just get up early, force yourself. Be active through the day and do what you can to sleep at night.
Remember you have those family and friends who do care and you can talk to them. There’s no shame in struggling with all that on your plate. Keep the chin up and I hope the old man is okay.
Does anyone know of any apps, without ads, that track the number of days you go without a drink?
I've been in denial about my drinking this year. I used to go weeks, sometimes months, without having a drink, but since January I've been drinking every single week. The vast majority of the time it's only been once a week, but this week it was twice. I was off Wednesday, Thursday and Friday last week, so drank on Thursday night, but on Saturday was actually feeling an urge to do it, and eventually gave in.
Sick of it now, and have been denying that it's becoming an issue, but the urges are happening each week now. It isn't every day, but it is every Friday or Saturday (depending on what day I usually do it). I dread to think how much money I've spent on it, because it isn't just a few drinks, it's usually 15-16 beers.
I need cut it the f**k out.

I’ve been here. I cut it out completely in when lockdown started in March. For me it lead to other bad decisions that just made everything worse...decisions I’m still paying for now but it’s okay, I can’t go back in time and change things so we’ll get there. I’m back drinking now but once a week at most and far from the extent I was which is where I wanted to be. Enough of my rambling, I had a quick loop and my App Store has a few, I Am Sober, Sober Today, I Can and Quit That all seem to have daily trackers and some offer wee bits of motivation and that. Hopefully one of those is half decent.
For anyone, if you think you have a drink (or drugs, gambling, smoking) problem then you do. Maybe not as extreme as you’re worried or as others but if it’s playing on your mind it’s a problem. Keep the faith mate, don’t worry if you fall off the wagon, we all have setbacks, all about “going again”. Best of luck man.
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  • 4 weeks later...

No idea if I'm depressed tbh, but I've just pretty much solidly despised myself for the past month.

No idea why it started, but since then theres more and more about myself that I hate. Bad habits I can't stop. Everything seems to be going wrong and I just ignore folk who try to help. Need a break from literally everything for a while tbh.

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4 minutes ago, RandomGuy. said:

No idea if I'm depressed tbh, but I've just pretty much solidly despised myself for the past month.

No idea why it started, but since then theres more and more about myself that I hate. Bad habits I can't stop. Everything seems to be going wrong and I just ignore folk who try to help. Need a break from literally everything for a while tbh.

No need to label yourself as 'depressed' or whatever. You're feeling something that needs addressed, whether you recognise that as an illness or not.

Self loathing is probably the most destructive attribute I've got, you've got to be really careful with it. Don't underestimate it. If you feel the need to take a step back from things then do it, and if you want to articulate things in more detail then everyone in this thread is sound.

I know I can be a c**t talking football but would be genuinely interested to listen if you wanted it. 

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4 minutes ago, RandomGuy. said:

No idea if I'm depressed tbh, but I've just pretty much solidly despised myself for the past month.

No idea why it started, but since then theres more and more about myself that I hate. Bad habits I can't stop. Everything seems to be going wrong and I just ignore folk who try to help. Need a break from literally everything for a while tbh.

Doubt it'll help much mate but now is as good a time as any to say I really enjoy all your xG and stat analysis, even though its about St Johnstone. Would love to see that about Hibs.

But sometimes having a break and just switching off from everything helps. Hope you're feeling happier soon.

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Self loathing is a serious issue, and this time of year won’t help.
I’ve been much better this year and in general. Even bashing my head open hasn’t sent me into a negative spiral like it would have done before. Maybe I’ve finally learned to live with myself and be thankful for what I’ve got.

I’m happy to talk to anyone via pm if you want to reach out.

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Guest bernardblack
No idea if I'm depressed tbh, but I've just pretty much solidly despised myself for the past month.
No idea why it started, but since then theres more and more about myself that I hate. Bad habits I can't stop. Everything seems to be going wrong and I just ignore folk who try to help. Need a break from literally everything for a while tbh.


Not sure if it’ll help, but I took a break from social media (apart from here) and found I stopped comparing myself to everyone else...at their best.

You can get through it [emoji1303]
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7 minutes ago, Raidernation said:

Self loathing is a serious issue, and this time of year won’t help.
I’ve been much better this year and in general. Even bashing my head open hasn’t sent me into a negative spiral like it would have done before. Maybe I’ve finally learned to live with myself and be thankful for what I’ve got.

I’m happy to talk to anyone via pm if you want to reach out.

Practise being satisfied and being grateful for what you've got.

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The past couple of months I feel like I've fallen into a pretty deep rut but at the same time, feel like an utter arsehole for allowing myself to think that I'm struggling mentally.

My work (a pub) has been opened after full lockdown, closed for the Aberdeen lockdown, opened again and has now been closed since mid October. While still on furlough of 80%, the lack of purpose is really starting to get to me. I appreciate that getting 80% of wages for sitting on my arse is a hell of a good position to be in compared to others and I feel guilt for thinking that I should be in anyway down about this.

During the first lockdown I was out exercising regularly and even during the local lockdown in Aberdeen, I felt not too bad but from about September onwards, I have noticed a real change in my demeanour. I was resenting customers at work for constant complaining about the Covid-safe rules we were enforcing and I was drinking far too much after work. Since we closed under the tier system and there have still been pubs open this has continued. Find myself waking in the morning after drinking with the absolute fear and it's usually justified as I've said something stupid or out of order on social media (I'm toying with the idea of canning it).

The thing is that I know the things I have to do in order to sort myself out it's just proving very difficult to get out of. At, 36, I've only had one reasonably serious relationship and that ended 10 years ago. Funilly enough, my ex is the only one I've talked to about this and she's been great.

I think with Aberdeen moving back into tier 3 and the pubs closing again I might be able to dig myself out of it but I've just spent another full day pretty much in bed and haven't left the house.

I know other people are worse off and struggling way more than I am which is what I keep telling myself but it's not really helped.

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The past couple of months I feel like I've fallen into a pretty deep rut but at the same time, feel like an utter arsehole for allowing myself to think that I'm struggling mentally.

 

My work (a pub) has been opened after full lockdown, closed for the Aberdeen lockdown, opened again and has now been closed since mid October. While still on furlough of 80%, the lack of purpose is really starting to get to me. I appreciate that getting 80% of wages for sitting on my arse is a hell of a good position to be in compared to others and I feel guilt for thinking that I should be in anyway down about this.

 

During the first lockdown I was out exercising regularly and even during the local lockdown in Aberdeen, I felt not too bad but from about September onwards, I have noticed a real change in my demeanour. I was resenting customers at work for constant complaining about the Covid-safe rules we were enforcing and I was drinking far too much after work. Since we closed under the tier system and there have still been pubs open this has continued. Find myself waking in the morning after drinking with the absolute fear and it's usually justified as I've said something stupid or out of order on social media (I'm toying with the idea of canning it).

 

The thing is that I know the things I have to do in order to sort myself out it's just proving very difficult to get out of. At, 36, I've only had one reasonably serious relationship and that ended 10 years ago. Funilly enough, my ex is the only one I've talked to about this and she's been great.

 

I think with Aberdeen moving back into tier 3 and the pubs closing again I might be able to dig myself out of it but I've just spent another full day pretty much in bed and haven't left the house.

 

I know other people are worse off and struggling way more than I am which is what I keep telling myself but it's not really helped.

I'd not feel guilty about taking 80% wages on furlough mate. Just because people are in a worse off position, doesnt mean you're not allowed to feel bad either. Very cliched but taking it a day at a time makes things a bit more manageable, start looking ahead/worrying then it can start to a but of a downward spiral. I've been there believe me!

 

Feel free to drop a PM if you'd like to talk anything through further. ETA: that invitation is open to anyone.

 

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2 hours ago, bernardblack said:

 


Not sure if it’ll help, but I took a break from social media (apart from here) and found I stopped comparing myself to everyone else...at their best.

You can get through it emoji1303.png

 

I've done similar. I still use Twitter, but I deleted the Facebook app from my phone and now only go on there every 3 or 4 days just to check my notifications for tags and that's it. I feel like it has made a massive difference. However, it had also come at the same time as getting a change in my role at work that I've basically been asking for for the last 18 months, so I'm not sure which of them is the biggest driver in my improved mood.

As ever, if anyone is struggling and wants to drop a PM, I'm open.

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32 minutes ago, die hard doonhamer said:

I've done similar. I still use Twitter, but I deleted the Facebook app from my phone and now only go on there every 3 or 4 days just to check my notifications for tags and that's it. I feel like it has made a massive difference. However, it had also come at the same time as getting a change in my role at work that I've basically been asking for for the last 18 months, so I'm not sure which of them is the biggest driver in my improved mood.

As ever, if anyone is struggling and wants to drop a PM, I'm open.

I got rid of Facebook on January the first and best thing I did. Never felt I wanted to go back on it at all. Messanger I have kept so can speak on there. I'm same as I have twitter and here. 🙂

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The past couple of months I feel like I've fallen into a pretty deep rut but at the same time, feel like an utter arsehole for allowing myself to think that I'm struggling mentally.

My work (a pub) has been opened after full lockdown, closed for the Aberdeen lockdown, opened again and has now been closed since mid October. While still on furlough of 80%, the lack of purpose is really starting to get to me. I appreciate that getting 80% of wages for sitting on my arse is a hell of a good position to be in compared to others and I feel guilt for thinking that I should be in anyway down about this.

I know other people are worse off and struggling way more than I am which is what I keep telling myself but it's not really helped.


You can only exist in your own head mate and whatever plagues you is going to be a concern no matter how ‘objectively’ it might be. I think comparing yourself to others can be a bad avenue for figuring out how you’re doing. It definitely made me reluctant to seek help for a long time cause my problems didn’t seem as bad as other people’s.
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You can only exist in your own head mate and whatever plagues you is going to be a concern no matter how ‘objectively’ it might be. I think comparing yourself to others can be a bad avenue for figuring out how you’re doing. It definitely made me reluctant to seek help for a long time cause my problems didn’t seem as bad as other people’s.
I think that's half the battle. Comparing yourself to others is only a natural position to be in. Friends that are married, kids, houses, cars, careers, it's only natural to look at yourself and think you've kinda fucked things up a bit. However, there are times when I'm very happy with my lot. My 20's were an exceptional time in my life but the last few years I've really not felt like I've kicked on in life.
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