Depression

[Thereisalight..]

3 hours ago, JTS98 said:

Don't feel bad about feeling bad about how things are just now. I think most of us are in a state about it, whether we realise it or not.

Are you keeping busy during the days just now? A bit of exercise at home? Some reading to avoid sitting worrying?

I think we all need to keep the head busy just now.

Thanks for that. Yeah I’m going out a walk or a hike every day. If I was staying in 24/7 I’d be climbing the walls! We definitely do need to keep mentally busy. It’s  just been one shit thing after the next for the last 7 months. It’s hard to cope with all that 

[NJ2]

Thanks for that. Yeah I’m going out a walk or a hike every day. If I was staying in 24/7 I’d be climbing the walls! We definitely do need to keep mentally busy. It’s  just been one shit thing after the next for the last 7 months. It’s hard to cope with all that 

Sorry to read all that mate! It sounds like it’s been a rough ride so well done you on making it this far! You’ve gotten through all that, you can, and will, get through the next pile of shit that gets thrown at you!
Keep doing the things that help you cope and we’ll be out of this before too long

[Thereisalight..]

5 minutes ago, NJ2 said:

Sorry to read all that mate! It sounds like it’s been a rough ride so well done you on making it this far! You’ve gotten through all that, you can, and will, get through the next pile of shit that gets thrown at you!
Keep doing the things that help you cope and we’ll be out of this before too long

It sure has been a rough ride. There’s been plenty of days I’ve wished I wouldn’t wake up again. I guess the only thing that’s stopped me doing anything stupid has been my Mum. I couldn’t put that grief on her after losing her husband less than 2 months ago. These worrying world times are affecting her too. 

[NJ2]

It sure has been a rough ride. There’s been plenty of days I’ve wished I wouldn’t wake up again. I guess the only thing that’s stopped me doing anything stupid has been my Mum. I couldn’t put that grief on her after losing her husband less than 2 months ago. These worrying world times are affecting her too. 

Most of us have had days and feelings like that, but we keep going because we have to and we know that it will get better. Maybe not tomorrow, but it will.
It’s worrying times for us all, more worrying the older we are but hopefully folk pay attention and stay safe.

[Thereisalight..]

5 minutes ago, NJ2 said:

Most of us have had days and feelings like that, but we keep going because we have to and we know that it will get better. Maybe not tomorrow, but it will.
It’s worrying times for us all, more worrying the older we are but hopefully folk pay attention and stay safe.

I reckon it’s my mum that’s the only thing keeping me going. When she goes I’ll go soon after. 

[DA Baracus]

1 hour ago, Thereisalight.. said:

I reckon it’s my mum that’s the only thing keeping me going. When she goes I’ll go soon after. 

Nah don't say that man. Feels like that now but it can change.

Have you spoken to a professional? Huge waiting times I know but sometimes folk can get access via work. Obvious hard to do that now but maybe an option at some point? Might help, might not. It's about finding something that does help I suppose.

[Thereisalight..]

3 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

Nah don't say that man. Feels like that now but it can change.

Have you spoken to a professional? Huge waiting times I know but sometimes folk can get access via work. Obvious hard to do that now but maybe an option at some point? Might help, might not. It's about finding something that does help I suppose.

I doubt it will change. My relationship breakdown was horrid and when my mum passes away I’ll have nobody to live for. I haven’t spoke to a professional. I’ve never been one to go to the doctors, or to talk about things with a stranger as I know I’ll get upset. I’m not even on antidepressants as the ones I took over a decade ago didn’t agree with me at all 

[DA Baracus]

3 minutes ago, Thereisalight.. said:

I doubt it will change. My relationship breakdown was horrid and when my mum passes away I’ll have nobody to live for. I haven’t spoke to a professional. I’ve never been one to go to the doctors, or to talk about things with a stranger as I know I’ll get upset. I’m not even on antidepressants as the ones I took over a decade ago didn’t agree with me at all 

You've got yourself to live for.

It's hard to go to someone for help for something like this. It took me years. There's nothing wrong with getting upset about it either; it can be healthy in fact, as it let you discuss why and how to help. Folk often say that making that first step is the hardest, and for many folk it's definitely true.

Sounds like you had the wrong antidepressants. It's a case of trial and error with them. They might not be for you at all, but definitely worth another try.

[Thereisalight..]

2 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

You've got yourself to live for.

It's hard to go to someone for help for something like this. It took me years. There's nothing wrong with getting upset about it either; it can be healthy in fact, as it let you discuss why and how to help. Folk often say that making that first step is the hardest, and for many folk it's definitely true.

Sounds like you had the wrong antidepressants. It's a case of trial and error with them. They might not be for you at all, but definitely worth another try.

Without my parents or a partner, I’m nothing, I’m the kind of person who has to live for others. 

I still feel mental health has a stigma attached to it. I’d hate to go to my doctors and get one of the arsey ones. It’s definitely  true that the first step in the hardest.

i tried two different ones. One just made me feel nothing and so sleepy and the other one gave me disturbing dreams and nausea 

[heedthebaa]

13 minutes ago, Thereisalight.. said:

I’ve never been one to go to the doctors, or to talk about things with a stranger as I know I’ll get upset. I’m not even on antidepressants as the ones I took over a decade ago didn’t agree with me at all 

Get your arse to the doctors is the first step, then you’ll get referred to someone that can help you. It’s a big step, but worthwhile 

3 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

 

Sounds like you had the wrong antidepressants. It's a case of trial and error with them. They might not be for you at all, but definitely worth another try.

Listen to him @Thereisalight..

[DA Baracus]

1 minute ago, Thereisalight.. said:

Without my parents or a partner, I’m nothing, I’m the kind of person who has to live for others. 

I still feel mental health has a stigma attached to it. I’d hate to go to my doctors and get one of the arsey ones. It’s definitely  true that the first step in the hardest.

i tried two different ones. One just made me feel nothing and so sleepy and the other one gave me disturbing dreams and nausea 

What's to say you'll never have another partner though? Won't feel like it now but that can change. You've been hit from all sides in a very short period of time. Must be awful and feels like you aren't getting a break. Sounds like you're down a deep hole and every time you start climbing out something else comes along and knocks you back down to the bottom, and now you feel like it's hopeless, you'll never get out.

You need time to grieve and heal and you just aren't getting it just now as the hits keep coming, and now you're anticipating them meaning you're on always on edge. You must be mentally exhausted. That's an incredibly hard way to live and you need help, and there no shame in that. Everyone needs help sometimes.

[Thereisalight..]

7 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

What's to say you'll never have another partner though? Won't feel like it now but that can change. You've been hit from all sides in a very short period of time. Must be awful and feels like you aren't getting a break. Sounds like you're down a deep hole and every time you start climbing out something else comes along and knocks you back down to the bottom, and now you feel like it's hopeless, you'll never get out.

You need time to grieve and heal and you just aren't getting it just now as the hits keep coming, and now you're anticipating them meaning you're on always on edge. You must be mentally exhausted. That's an incredibly hard way to live and you need help, and there no shame in that. Everyone needs help sometimes.

Very sensible words. Thank you

yip I’m down a deep hole at the moment, with one shit thing after the next. Maybe when all the Coronavirus busyness calms down a bit I’ll go and get an appointment 

[DA Baracus]

3 minutes ago, Thereisalight.. said:

Very sensible words. Thank you

yip I’m down a deep hole at the moment, with one shit thing after the next. Maybe when all the Coronavirus busyness calms down a bit I’ll go and get an appointment 

Would be a good idea. The virus stuff is another thing to deal with so won't be helping matters. 

Incidentally you say that you aren't one for opening up to strangers but that's exactly what you've done here. I was very anxious about going to see a counsellor the first time. I wrote things down and just read from it. You've already written things down here, so could be an idea to put them in Word or a notes app and read them to a professional?

Also of course there are plenty of folk on this thread who are happy to discuss things, so please keep posting here if you feel it helps!

[Thereisalight..]

13 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

Would be a good idea. The virus stuff is another thing to deal with so won't be helping matters. 

Incidentally you say that you aren't one for opening up to strangers but that's exactly what you've done here. I was very anxious about going to see a counsellor the first time. I wrote things down and just read from it. You've already written things down here, so could be an idea to put them in Word or a notes app and read them to a professional?

Also of course there are plenty of folk on this thread who are happy to discuss things, so please keep posting here if you feel it helps!

Yeah, it’s just one thing opening up online, rather than face to face where tears may escape and make me feel pathetic in front of a stranger. I could maybe save the money and do that. 

Thank you. I appreciate that

[Thereisalight..]

6 minutes ago, Geez a Braco said:

@Thereisalight..  I see that you're going for hikes to escape the house ( as per government advice ) this is something I'm doing which I don't normally do.   

But in terms of accomplishment I've been trying to up my steps every day or using route planner to plan and then accomplish a certain distance  - Walked nearly 20km today which really surprised me, and I can tell I will sleep like a bairn tonight which is something I normally struggle with.    

Plan your walk for tomorrow and let us know how you get on.    

Have you been enjoying the hiking? That’s a good idea to try and better your distance each day. Wow 20km, impressive . Yeah you’ll certainly sleep well! 

I’ll definitely be walking or hiking somewhere, it just depends what the weather is like, but I shall let you know!

[Jacksgranda]

8 hours ago, Thereisalight.. said:

Very sensible words. Thank you

yip I’m down a deep hole at the moment, with one shit thing after the next. Maybe when all the Coronavirus busyness calms down a bit I’ll go and get an appointment 

Take that word out and DO it! Keep posting, it seems to be working, I can see an improvement in your responses.

[NJ2]

Have you been enjoying the hiking? That’s a good idea to try and better your distance each day. Wow 20km, impressive [emoji106]. Yeah you’ll certainly sleep well! 
I’ll definitely be walking or hiking somewhere, it just depends what the weather is like, but I shall let you know!

Honestly mate, keep the head up and keep battling on. DA, and others, has been spot on. Relationships end and it’s shite - I can vouch for that! - but you never know when you’re going to meet someone else. You just need to be alive to make sure it can happen.

[Stellaboz]

If a relationship ends, it's always a good thing. Your ego will be hurt a bit and you will miss for a while the intimacy or whatever else it brought you. But if you've had fights, arguments or whatever you are well rid. Start to enjoy the freedom of being by one's self, embrace it. I loved not having to worry about pleasing anyone else or finding time or whatever. 

[Thereisalight..]

1 hour ago, Stellaboz said:

If a relationship ends, it's always a good thing. Your ego will be hurt a bit and you will miss for a while the intimacy or whatever else it brought you. But if you've had fights, arguments or whatever you are well rid. Start to enjoy the freedom of being by one's self, embrace it. I loved not having to worry about pleasing anyone else or finding time or whatever. 

My ego sure is hurt. She was in a new relationship within a few weeks and they’re now engaged after only 5 months. Just hurts I was so easily replaceable. When I told her about my Dad passing away we hadn’t spoke for a few months. She said sorry etc, then a few hours later she unblocked me to say she no longer cares what happens in my life, how happy she is in her new relationship and that’s if I contacted her again she’d call the police. Imagine receiving a message like that from someone you loved for years a few hours after I’d lost my Dad. I was destroyed how hurtful she could be. A few people reckon she’s probably a narcissist so now I’m questioning if she ever really loved me. 

[Stellaboz]

Mate you sound like you were WELL rid. Anyone who reacts like that to what you said isn't worth sh*t.