Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Well, I was glad to see the back of 2019, but holy f**k this year has been bloody awful so far.
 
Friday was my last day of employment after being fired only 4 months into the job. A bit like[mention=78512]FalkirkBairn93[/mention] above though, I was really just feeling relief at that miserable period of my life finally being over.
 
But then yesterday, the younger of our 2 dogs died. She’d been sick for a few days, having a hard time breathing and off her food. The vet was treating her for bronchitis and while she seemed to have improved a bit Friday night, on Saturday morning she took a turn for the worse.
 
The vet recommended we take her down to the Emergency clinic in the city as they had more specialized equipment and could care for her over the weekend.
 
They put her on oxygen straight away but after about an hour, the doc came out to tell us she wasn’t responding and basically her brain had shut down. Euthanasia was the only real option at that point but by the time we made it through to the back room, she’d already gone. The bronchitis had turned into pneumonia and there was just too much fluid in her lungs.
 
We’d been mentally preparing for losing our older dog but this came right out of nowhere. We didn’t even give her a proper hug before they took her back.
 
So now it’s after 1am and I’m stuck on the couch almost too afraid to go to sleep. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
 
Although I suppose if my truck won’t start tomorrow, I could write a Country song. (Feeble smile)
 
God, I’m going to miss her.
 
PC120351.thumb.jpg.2cef5377f27f5ad8c229f80cf45031a9.jpg
 



That’s natural mate, your pet becomes such a big part of your family that when they sadly are no longer with us it that it leaves a big hole in our hearts.

I hope you are all ok, as it’s not an easy thing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's absolutely ok to grieve in a normal way when you lose a close pet. This will take time, chief. Hang in there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I think this is the first time I've ventured onto this thread. I won't go into all the details, but I have anxiety and feel not a lot works for me. 
But recently discovered two podcasts: Where is my mind, from Niall Breslin and Owning It from Caroline Foran. Which brought me me back from near panic attack. I found particularly the experiences and views of Niall Breslin quite similar to mine. His voice is also, for some reason, a very compelling and easy listen. It's different to your usual bullshit soothing tone which serves more to irritate me than help, maybe that's just me. 
Anyway, getting me through a bit of dark patch. Fear and anxiety is absolute fucking hell on earth. I thought f**k it, might as well share this, if it helps anyone at all, then great. I found them both on Spotify, but I'm sure there on other Podcast apps.
Outstanding post. I think anxiety is one of the most misunderstood and underestimated conditions.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

IMG_3309.jpg

Saw this. I know it doesn’t work for everyone but I know for me every Saturday football has been a release from the stresses of life...aside from the stresses that come with being a falkirk fan.

I just wanted to say I hope everyone is doing ok, I know January can be a horrible month. New year, same stressors, linger wait for pay etc. I hope everyone has made it through ok.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Well, I was glad to see the back of 2019, but holy f**k this year has been bloody awful so far.
 
Friday was my last day of employment after being fired only 4 months into the job. A bit like[mention=78512]FalkirkBairn93[/mention] above though, I was really just feeling relief at that miserable period of my life finally being over.
 
But then yesterday, the younger of our 2 dogs died. She’d been sick for a few days, having a hard time breathing and off her food. The vet was treating her for bronchitis and while she seemed to have improved a bit Friday night, on Saturday morning she took a turn for the worse.
 
The vet recommended we take her down to the Emergency clinic in the city as they had more specialized equipment and could care for her over the weekend.
 
They put her on oxygen straight away but after about an hour, the doc came out to tell us she wasn’t responding and basically her brain had shut down. Euthanasia was the only real option at that point but by the time we made it through to the back room, she’d already gone. The bronchitis had turned into pneumonia and there was just too much fluid in her lungs.
 
We’d been mentally preparing for losing our older dog but this came right out of nowhere. We didn’t even give her a proper hug before they took her back.
 
So now it’s after 1am and I’m stuck on the couch almost too afraid to go to sleep. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
 
Although I suppose if my truck won’t start tomorrow, I could write a Country song. (Feeble smile)
 
God, I’m going to miss her.
 
PC120351.thumb.jpg.2cef5377f27f5ad8c229f80cf45031a9.jpg
 


Anyone who scoffs at mourning a pet is someone who has never had one. Dogs are such great company and such a welcome relief for those who suffer as people on this thread do.

Hope things have improved for you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lads,
Not sure if this is the thread to mention/ask this in but not sure where I’m at right now tbh…
Do any of you ever feel as if you cannot get clear headed no matter how much ‘rest’ you give yourself etc? I cannot remember the last time I woke up clear minded and ready to get on with the day. I no longer wake up and get excited about heading to the football or out with the missus.. I still go but I can’t remember the last time I was excited about anything coming up.
I used the analogy the other day of wishing my head had a tap that I could turn on to empty it and go again. Bit of a stupid turn of phrase but I don’t know how else to describe it.
Every morning I wake up and my head feels full? and I’m constantly exhausted. Sometimes it’s a real challenge to get up in the morning – purely from an exhaustion point.
I don’t think it’s a depression issue as day – to – day I’m generally OK. Sometimes get down/moody but don’t we all…
The other annoying thing is, due to feeling exhausted all the time and head all over the place, I now no longer have any motivation or feeling to go to the gym or play 5’s. Quite happy coming home from work, shower, changed and in front of the TV or boozer.
Basically, I can’t figure out if such is life or I’m facing an issue that can be corrected/helped.

Cheers lads. Not sure if the above makes any sense what so ever but it made sense to me...
Don't know if you're still on here or whatever as it's a while ago you posted this but it's almost exactly as I feel but with a feeling of depression, I think, almost always there.
Just a general apathy to almost everything, I've started seeking some help but that's not forthcoming as yet.
Hope you are in a better place now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 02/02/2020 at 08:06, Shotgun said:

Well, I was glad to see the back of 2019, but holy f**k this year has been bloody awful so far.

 

Friday was my last day of employment after being fired only 4 months into the job. A bit like[mention=78512]FalkirkBairn93[/mention] above though, I was really just feeling relief at that miserable period of my life finally being over.

 

But then yesterday, the younger of our 2 dogs died. She’d been sick for a few days, having a hard time breathing and off her food. The vet was treating her for bronchitis and while she seemed to have improved a bit Friday night, on Saturday morning she took a turn for the worse.

 

The vet recommended we take her down to the Emergency clinic in the city as they had more specialized equipment and could care for her over the weekend.

 

They put her on oxygen straight away but after about an hour, the doc came out to tell us she wasn’t responding and basically her brain had shut down. Euthanasia was the only real option at that point but by the time we made it through to the back room, she’d already gone. The bronchitis had turned into pneumonia and there was just too much fluid in her lungs.

 

We’d been mentally preparing for losing our older dog but this came right out of nowhere. We didn’t even give her a proper hug before they took her back.

 

So now it’s after 1am and I’m stuck on the couch almost too afraid to go to sleep. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

 

Although I suppose if my truck won’t start tomorrow, I could write a Country song. (Feeble smile)

 

God, I’m going to miss her.

 

PC120351.thumb.jpg.2cef5377f27f5ad8c229f80cf45031a9.jpg

 

First thing I thought there was what a beautiful dog. It's an absolutely horrible thing to go through and what you're feeling is absolutely normal after the loss of a pet. Really sorry for your loss.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Alright all, 

Strange place for my 4th post on a football website I know, but as a lurker always took a lot of heart and inspiration from the stories people posted in here. 

My own experience has always been more in the realm of poor mental health maintenance than mental illness I would say. I always seem to be in these cycles where I'll slowly go from feeling pretty great all the way through to complete apathy levels of depression and wanting to lock myself in the house levels of social anxiety. Eventually either reconnecting with close friends or some random event will pull me out of it, but I've noticed that as I get older (I'm 26) the cycles get shorter and my base or normal level is lower.

I think a lot is just since I was younger I've always been unsure about my future and everything. Went and lived overseas for three years after uni more to avoid making a decision about long term careers than anything, and moved back on a bit of a whim after a relationship broke up. Since then (March last year) been working a call centre job I hate and doesn't leave me the time to commit to joining groups and make new friends (it's changing shifts). A lot of good has come out of the move back, reconnecting with an old girlfriend and I'm really happy we're back together. Seeing a lot more of some old friends which tbh is a mixed bag, hard to avoid comparing yourself to the ones doing well for themselves, and it's still pretty irregular as their mainly back home in Perth or in Glasgow.  But overall, can't believe I was so blase about just chucking in the 2 years I'd spent working in a pretty good job in a brilliant city to move back with no firm plans.

Another downside is I've really struggled to adapt to how a lot of people drink over here again. I drink more than a couple less and less so that on the occasions that I do my tolerance is low and the risk of going overboard is way too high. Hangovers/the fear, even every 6 weeks or couple of months, have a ridiculous effect on my mental health.

Decided this is the year I'm going to kick this up the arse, though. Taking a prolonged break from the drink while I come up with some rules to enjoy it more as I'd like to, and as an aid to finally chucking the fags and vaping. Started exercising regularly for the first time in ages with the aim of being fit enough to start playing rugby after the summer break (I know, but I'm decent at it and dreadful at football), and working my arse off to get a new job that I think would really help my self esteem and give me the time to do other stuff to help break these cycles I keep getting myself in to.  Stuff like book clubs, Spanish language groups, doing some volunteering that right now I could make 1 week out of 4/5 due to the changing shifts.

Anyway, bit of a ramble and, as I say, more to do with being crap at doing the stuff to maintain my mental health rather than a mental illness, but it's nice to write something down about how I am/have been feeling for a while. Not a big social media guy and while I feel I can discuss the generalities of this sort of thing with mates, I'm reticent to go into the deeper feelings with them for one reason or the other. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Genuine Hibs Fan said:

Alright all, 

Strange place for my 4th post on a football website I know, but as a lurker always took a lot of heart and inspiration from the stories people posted in here. 

My own experience has always been more in the realm of poor mental health maintenance than mental illness I would say. I always seem to be in these cycles where I'll slowly go from feeling pretty great all the way through to complete apathy levels of depression and wanting to lock myself in the house levels of social anxiety. Eventually either reconnecting with close friends or some random event will pull me out of it, but I've noticed that as I get older (I'm 26) the cycles get shorter and my base or normal level is lower.

I think a lot is just since I was younger I've always been unsure about my future and everything. Went and lived overseas for three years after uni more to avoid making a decision about long term careers than anything, and moved back on a bit of a whim after a relationship broke up. Since then (March last year) been working a call centre job I hate and doesn't leave me the time to commit to joining groups and make new friends (it's changing shifts). A lot of good has come out of the move back, reconnecting with an old girlfriend and I'm really happy we're back together. Seeing a lot more of some old friends which tbh is a mixed bag, hard to avoid comparing yourself to the ones doing well for themselves, and it's still pretty irregular as their mainly back home in Perth or in Glasgow.  But overall, can't believe I was so blase about just chucking in the 2 years I'd spent working in a pretty good job in a brilliant city to move back with no firm plans.

Another downside is I've really struggled to adapt to how a lot of people drink over here again. I drink more than a couple less and less so that on the occasions that I do my tolerance is low and the risk of going overboard is way too high. Hangovers/the fear, even every 6 weeks or couple of months, have a ridiculous effect on my mental health.

Decided this is the year I'm going to kick this up the arse, though. Taking a prolonged break from the drink while I come up with some rules to enjoy it more as I'd like to, and as an aid to finally chucking the fags and vaping. Started exercising regularly for the first time in ages with the aim of being fit enough to start playing rugby after the summer break (I know, but I'm decent at it and dreadful at football), and working my arse off to get a new job that I think would really help my self esteem and give me the time to do other stuff to help break these cycles I keep getting myself in to.  Stuff like book clubs, Spanish language groups, doing some volunteering that right now I could make 1 week out of 4/5 due to the changing shifts.

Anyway, bit of a ramble and, as I say, more to do with being crap at doing the stuff to maintain my mental health rather than a mental illness, but it's nice to write something down about how I am/have been feeling for a while. Not a big social media guy and while I feel I can discuss the generalities of this sort of thing with mates, I'm reticent to go into the deeper feelings with them for one reason or the other. 

You seem to have your finger on the pulse in regards to a lot of your mental health i know a big factor will be the job been there with a soul destroying job and work environment is a big part.

As for the drink part easy to get roped into the mindset of Scottish therefore i need to drink more or keep up with the rest (i know i used to think that way), big thing dont compare yourself to others end of the day doesnt matter if they are doing better than you they probably have their own struggles trying to keep up the facade of everything is fine prob find if you scratched the surface they arent doing as well as you think they are.

Getting outdoors helps me (though having shit weather puts it on the back burner) gym helps a lot with a positive mindset .
I think with being crap at the mental health stuff we are all like that, we all have blip days where it knocks us on our arse its just recognising it in ourselves to get back on track or when we fall by the wayside.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 hours ago, FalkirkBairn93 said:

After the shite of getting fired last week and feeling alright about it, and not how I thought I would, I got an email today saying I’ve been accepted into the PGDE in secondary education.

Honestly haven’t felt this good in a while. I hope it will last.

It may not last and that's okay, too. Life is about ups and downs. But I would suggest taking a note of what's making you feel good right now and seeing if you can put things in place to replicate that long term. It seems like it might be having time to yourself, or the affirmation of being accepted, or the optimism that comes with a new opportunity, or motivation from now having a goal to aim for - or probably, a blend of these. Think about how you can make these feelings a part of your life more generally. Just to illustrate:

  • time for yourself - aiming for a job where you can work part-time even if it means a slightly lower level of disposable income; using your holidays for lots of 3/4 day weekends; going out in the evenings for a walk or a swim.
  • being accepted - think about things you don't like in yourself and learn to accept them; join a club where you will constantly meet new people/show different sides of yourself, e.g. theatre or hillwalking.
  • new opportunity - aim for a profession which is 'project based' so you are often moving from one opportunity to the next.
  • having a goal to aim for - start climbing Munros, or collecting the 42, going to the gym, etc and make sure you give yourself attainable goals so you often feel a very present sense of motivation. e.g. with the Munros, buy yourself a nice bottle of whisky and only allow yourself a dram at the top of every 10th Munro.

Those are just some suggestions to illustrate the idea of a) identifying the fundamental feelings/processes that are helping you feel good, and b) replicating those feelings/processes and making them a more permanent part of your life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 03/02/2020 at 23:13, FalkirkBairn93 said:

After the shite of getting fired last week and feeling alright about it, and not how I thought I would, I got an email today saying I’ve been accepted into the PGDE in secondary education.

Honestly haven’t felt this good in a while. I hope it will last.

Brilliant news mate, I’m a Primary Teacher myself. Secondary is definitely a bit different but if you do want a hand with anything feel free to drop me a message.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Brilliant news mate, I’m a Primary Teacher myself. Secondary is definitely a bit different but if you do want a hand with anything feel free to drop me a message.

Thank you, that’s much appreciated

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Got a new job :thumsup2 Not the one I needed a CV for. (never heard back from them).

Was headhunted.   In the same field as I was doing before.  Went and seen them at the start of the week, very informal as the family was with me.

Call me this morning and start on Monday.  work from home, which is a great as I still get to be with my son and daughters, who are the rocks of my life during these difficult times.

Feel good and can't wait to get going.  Stimulation of the brain and to take my mind of things.

Good times ahead I hope.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

^^^

Started the new job, all good, in fact  extremely  good.  So good I received a personal email to set up a call with the owner of the business (I have never had any contact).

The conversation went.  @SlipperyP thanks for joining us here, as you know we are a new business and as I have seen already from your work, I think we have a problem.

I shat myself.

He follows on with.

Him - We seem to have positioned you incorrectly  in our business and would like to ask you to reconsider the financial arrangements.

me - What is the problem?

Him - The problem has come to my attention that you should be promoted as of today. What do you think?

me - Eeem, sure what is the new position?

Him - same as before, but you can work with direct with me with your knowledge and experience, we can grow together. This means financially you will receive what you are worth.

me - perfect.

him - ok, I'll get someone to send the new contract of employment.  Good to get you, I have known about you for a while.

me - (put the phone down) WTF, he knows me?  Good or bad hitting my mind.

what a day!  I think I'm going to like 2020

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
^^^
Started the new job, all good, in fact  extremely  good.  So good I received a personal email to set up a call with the owner of the business (I have never had any contact).
The conversation went.  [mention=29470]SlipperyP[/mention] thanks for joining us here, as you know we are a new business and as I have seen already from your work, I think we have a problem.
I shat myself.
He follows on with.
Him - We seem to have positioned you incorrectly  in our business and would like to ask you to reconsider the financial arrangements.
me - What is the problem?
Him - The problem has come to my attention that you should be promoted as of today. What do you think?
me - Eeem, sure what is the new position?
Him - same as before, but you can work with direct with me with your knowledge and experience, we can grow together. This means financially you will receive what you are worth.
me - perfect.
him - ok, I'll get someone to send the new contract of employment.  Good to get you, I have known about you for a while.
me - (put the phone down) WTF, he knows me?  Good or bad hitting my mind.
what a day!  I think I'm going to like 2020
 
 

Smashing news mate. The gaffer has seen your playoff work and knows he’s dealing with a tap boi.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...