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Just a wee check-in following the report of my breakdown over the weekend. Mrs Shotgun came with me to the doctor yesterday, and we have a plan to work on. I'm starting some prescription tablets, effective today and also have a list of approved therapists and psychiatrists to call after the holiday. Back again next Wednesday so she can seeing how I'm doing. One concern was that they decided to check my blood levels while I was there (I have this done monthly to monitor my blood-thinner dosage) and the numbers, which have been steady for months now, were through the roof. Almost certainly a result of the weekend's stress so we're having to watch that closely too.

No more alcohol either, which is a drag but hey ho.

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Having a real bad one today. Came off all meds approximately 6 month ago and been coping fine, but now that I've been off work due to the holiday season, all sorts of bad thoughts come rushing back. When I have too much time to think, I get really down. Spending the New Year with the missus and a few mates, therefore I can't explain why I'm feeling lonely as hell. I won't go into the dark thoughts I've had, but I just wanted to get stuff off my chest by posting here. The anxiety, crippling self-doubt and feelings of uselessness have been building ever since the day I came off work.

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It’s so common at this time of year. Routines are out window. Forced jollity and family politics. I get the being in a roomful people but being lonley. It’s not unusual. PM me if you need get stuff off chest.

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Watched a bit of a Jake Tyler Ted talk where he spoke about depression and got onto the subject where his counsellor asked him why he wanted to end it and was it 1 he wanted to die or 2 he just wanted it to stop (depression).  Had a watch of some of the Eckhart Tolle stuff and trying to take on board some of that goes on about the mind always living in the past or the future and trying to stop thinking about the mind focus on breathing or steps etc i.e. be aware of your thoughts but focus on something else. felt myself ready to burst into tears earlier and tried putting it into practice seems to work.

All the best for 2020 guys none of us are alone with this.

 

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4 minutes ago, AL-FFC said:

Watched a bit of a Jake Tyler Ted talk where he spoke about depression and got onto the subject where his counsellor asked him why he wanted to end it and was it 1 he wanted to die or 2 he just wanted it to stop (depression).  Had a watch of some of the Eckhart Tolle stuff and trying to take on board some of that goes on about the mind always living in the past or the future and trying to stop thinking about the mind focus on breathing or steps etc i.e. be aware of your thoughts but focus on something else. felt myself ready to burst into tears earlier and tried putting it into practice seems to work.

All the best for 2020 guys none of us are alone with this.

 

THIS

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18 minutes ago, RH33 said:

It’s so common at this time of year. Routines are out window. Forced jollity and family politics. I get the being in a roomful people but being lonley. It’s not unusual. PM me if you need get stuff off chest.

Thanks for the offer! Think this is the second time I've posted on this thread and I'm really appreciative of the support network on here. Thanks for the few that PM'd me. Sure I'll be fine, just these past few weeks have been tough and will continue to be so until I'm back at work and in my routine again.

Just getting a little off my chest and posting in this thread helped and then yourself and the guys that PM'd me, thanks so much.

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Guest Moomintroll

Can only echo what everyone else has said, we all have our issues but we will all do what we can to help if anyone needs it. This thread really is everything that is good about P&B, good luck for the New Year everyone.

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Have a good one, all of you. We aren’t alone. We have family, friends, hell we even have each other on this thread. I appreciate the fact I can come in here and almost rant the load off my mind when I’m struggling, thank you all for this. Have a great 2020, just not when any of you are playing falkirk but ;)

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I'm going to echo what others are saying here tonight. 2019 has been a tough year on many levels and frankly, I'm glad to see the back of it. However, I want to say thanks to everyone for the help, not just for me but for all of us who've been in need. Speaking personally, it's been invaluable.

Here's to a better 2020, for all of us!

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Have a good one, all of you. We aren’t alone. We have family, friends, hell we even have each other on this thread. I appreciate the fact I can come in here and almost rant the load off my mind when I’m struggling, thank you all for this. Have a great 2020, just not when any of you are playing falkirk but default_wink.png


Fortunately Aberdeen won’t be playing Falkirk for a long time

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Fortunately Aberdeen won’t be playing Falkirk for a long time


Sadly haha Aberdeen is a cracking away day, stayed there when I worked in the service, cracking city with a great nightlife to match.

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Apologies if this sounds cuntish but 2019 has been the best year for me since I acknowledged my issues. Certainly not flawless and I have a way to go but I feel like I’m back in control. It’s hard work but I’m absolutely fine with that.

It’s brilliant reading others stories in here and can’t wait to see more success stories in 2020.

Yours, a slightly drunk dons fan.

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Apologies if this sounds cuntish but 2019 has been the best year for me since I acknowledged my issues. Certainly not flawless and I have a way to go but I feel like I’m back in control. It’s hard work but I’m absolutely fine with that.

It’s brilliant reading others stories in here and can’t wait to see more success stories in 2020.

Yours, a slightly drunk dons fan.

Long may it continue mate

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Looks like I’ll be in my own tonight. Ah well early toned I guess


In awe of how much you cope with mate.

Happy new year and all the best.

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Good luck to everyone on this thread, you all battle so hard and deserve every success going forward.

If anyone ever needs to talk PM me.

Take care.

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2 hours ago, Ludo*1 said:

Having a real bad one today. Came off all meds approximately 6 month ago and been coping fine, but now that I've been off work due to the holiday season, all sorts of bad thoughts come rushing back. When I have too much time to think, I get really down. Spending the New Year with the missus and a few mates, therefore I can't explain why I'm feeling lonely as hell. I won't go into the dark thoughts I've had, but I just wanted to get stuff off my chest by posting here. The anxiety, crippling self-doubt and feelings of uselessness have been building ever since the day I came off work.

The shorter daylight hours never help this time of year either.

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Sorry to post here but I don’t know where else to go. This has turned out to be the worst day ever.

I caught my partner last March/April cheating on me when he got pissed and I saw texts from him to a married woman. He said they ended it and we decided to try again.

We tonight I found some more so it’s still going on. He’s left the house. He’s really drunk (because we were at the pub earlier) and doesn’t have many clothes with him so I am stupidly worrying about him. I destroyed his phone when I found the texts so can’t even call him.

We were together 14 years. I just can’t take it. He was my best friend, we spent so much time together and I don’t find making friends easy so I am pretty much alone without him. I know it’s pathetic, I AM pathetic. I know it. I tried to cut my arm but the knives here aren’t even sharp enough.

I can’t stand it. I can’t stand myself for letting myself get to this. I can’t even hate him enough not to fucking worry about him. WTF is wrong with me?

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2 minutes ago, Jambomo said:

Sorry to post here but I don’t know where else to go. This has turned out to be the worst day ever.

I caught my partner last March/April cheating on me when he got pissed and I saw texts from him to a married woman. He said they ended it and we decided to try again.

We tonight I found some more so it’s still going on. He’s left the house. He’s really drunk (because we were at the pub earlier) and doesn’t have many clothes with him so I am stupidly worrying about him. I destroyed his phone when I found the texts so can’t even call him.

We were together 14 years. I just can’t take it. He was my best friend, we spent so much time together and I don’t find making friends easy so I am pretty much alone without him. I know it’s pathetic, I AM pathetic. I know it. I tried to cut my arm but the knives here aren’t even sharp enough.

I can’t stand it. I can’t stand myself for letting myself get to this. I can’t even hate him enough not to fucking worry about him. WTF is wrong with me?

Not much, really.  Just start caring about you rather than worrying about him.  Sounds glib but he isn't your priority right now.

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