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Thanks for the support, no it wasn’t the fat wimmin
Got hauled up for not following a procedure introduced when I was off (after my brother died) that no-one bothered to tell me about🤬

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Thanks for the support, no it wasn’t the fat wimmin
Got hauled up for not following a procedure introduced when I was off (after my brother died) that no-one bothered to tell me about🤬

I wouldn’t worry about it man. Given the circumstances, and I’m so sorry to hear about your brother, they’re not going to sack you. Let them give you telling you off, in one ear and out the other, and back to as you were. If they genuinely consider taking it further over a procedure you didn’t follow that you weren’t aware of when your fuckin brother passed then f**k them tbh. Again, genuinely sorry to hear about your brother. As a brother myself, I’m not sure how I’d deal with it if my brother is to pass first.

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Thanks for the support, no it wasn’t the fat wimmin
Got hauled up for not following a procedure introduced when I was off (after my brother died) that no-one bothered to tell me about
As nj2 says, if they can't absolutely prove that they keep you up to date with policies then that's not your fault (unless they've done training or updates on it this year or something like that).

Condolences from here as well, chief. Hang in there.

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That's absolutely pathetic. I would just ignore the warning or take it to hr.
Condolences about your brother.

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Ok. There's probably some of this on here already, but it's a big thread to look through now.

Looking for advice from anyone who's ever given up the bevvy and actually binned it successfully.

The last six months or so I've been doing a lot better than previously. A big part of this was training for a half marathon which involved seriously upping the amount of running I was doing along with stopping drinking. This worked well for me. I had something to concentrate on, running became just part of my routine and drinking was consequently off the table.

Mentally and physically felt fantastic.

However, a couple of weeks before the HM I badly strained a muscle in my calf and the HM was off. Suddenly I had no reason not to drink and in the last few weeks I've done some serious rebound drinking. Friday and Saturday nights just passed are a complete blur and I'm into what feels like the second day of my hangover with associated fear, self-loathing etc etc.

There's no panic here, I know I just need to bin the  drinking. What I'm looking for are any wee tips from anyone who has successfully done it. I just can't drink any more. I can't stop once I start and I'm a danger to myself physically as well as moving myself back months mentally. 

So, who's done it and how did you do it? Obviously it could be quite a tricky thing to do from a social perspective.

Edited by JTS98

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1 hour ago, JTS98 said:

Ok. There's probably some of this on here already, but it's a big thread to look through now.

Looking for advice from anyone who's ever given up the bevvy and actually binned it successfully.

The last six months or so I've been doing a lot better than previously. A big part of this was training for a half marathon which involved seriously upping the amount of running I was doing along with stopping drinking. This worked well for me. I had something to concentrate on, running became just part of my routine and drinking was consequently off the table.

Mentally and physically felt fantastic.

However, a couple of weeks before the HM I badly strained a muscle in my calf and the HM was off. Suddenly I had no reason not to drink and in the last few weeks I've done some serious rebound drinking. Friday and Saturday nights just passed are a complete blur and I'm into what feels like the second day of my hangover with associated fear, self-loathing etc etc.

There's no panic here, I know I just need to bin the  drinking. What I'm looking for are any wee tips from anyone who has successfully done it. I just can't drink any more. I can't stop once I start and I'm a danger to myself physically as well as moving myself back months mentally. 

So, who's done it and how did you do it? Obviously it could be quite a tricky thing to do from a social perspective.

Probably not what you're after as I haven't given it up, but I have changed my fundamental relationship with it significantly over the past 15 months.

I now only allow myself a drink once a week and it comes if I've met my goals for that week. So on a Sunday I set out all the workouts I want to do during the week, diet targets, targets at work, everything. Come Saturday evening if I've done all that then I allow myself a few reward beers. And the next most key thing is that Sunday morning there is no wallowing in a hangover, I must get up, exercise and generally just get shit done so that on Monday I'm ready to go full tilt again.

If I drink after I've had a shit day, or because I'm stressed, bored, if it's going to impair my ability to do things the following day then it's going to end badly for me. End of story, so I just don't do it. I'd love to spend Sundays in a pub watching football but it would be a seriously bad idea. When I damaged my rib in the summer I drank more, sometimes to dull the pain I was in and because I couldn't sleep. It tore my mental health to shreds for a couple of weeks.

That probably didn't help but the point is you don't necessarily need to bin it completely, just understand how it affects you and when. Alternatively, giving it up may be the best thing for you. I may reach that point one day too. Just try and not beat yourself up too much for having a heavy weekend. Forget it, move forward, do what you can do today then move onto the next day.

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20 minutes ago, Dons_1988 said:

Probably not what you're after as I haven't given it up, but (1) I have changed my fundamental relationship with it significantly over the past 15 months.

 

That probably didn't help but the point is you don't necessarily need to bin it completely, just understand how it affects you and when. Alternatively, giving it up may be the best thing for you. I may reach that point one day too.  (2)Just try and not beat yourself up too much for having a heavy weekend. Forget it, move forward, do what you can do today then move onto the next day.

Cheers.

1) Sounds like you've done this really well and I wish I could. But it's really been about two years since I worked that out and I've been unable to. For example, I could go to the local shop and buy a couple of beers right now and I know for a fact that I'd be drinking tonight until I fell asleep. I find it fine to not drink. But if I start, I'll just keep going and going and going.

I have no idea how many beers/vodkas/whiskys I had over the 2 nights. Don't want to know. But I do know how long I was drinking for and it's well over 24 hours over the two occasions. Part of the problem is that I don't really appear to be too steaming when I drink so nobody really tells me to stop. So I just drink and drink and drink.

2) I understand. Post-drinking it's easy to give it the 'never again' chat. But this is every time I drink. I've lost the ability to have two or three. Not really left with much choice.

I can easily not drink. I'm not at the point of needing to drink to get through the day. The problem is when put in a position where drinking is expected, I fall off a cliff. Need some ways to deal with that.

Edited by JTS98

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I understand this feeling. Sometimes I've bought far too much and next day poured the rest down the sink in frustration at myself.

What worked for me for a while was keeping stuff in the fridge that I'd physically never drink, e.g. A beer that I'd never ever have. So when I felt a bit of an urge, that was all I had at home and it repulsed me.

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2 minutes ago, Stellaboz said:

I understand this feeling. Sometimes I've bought far too much and next day poured the rest down the sink in frustration at myself.

What worked for me for a while was keeping stuff in the fridge that I'd physically never drink, e.g. A beer that I'd never ever have. So when I felt a bit of an urge, that was all I had at home and it repulsed me.
 

Can't buy too much, mate. If it's there, I'll drink it.

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40 minutes ago, JTS98 said:

Cheers.

1) Sounds like you've done this really well and I wish I could. But it's really been about two years since I worked that out and I've been unable to. For example, I could go to the local shop and buy a couple of beers right now and I know for a fact that I'd be drinking tonight until I fell asleep. I find it fine to not drink. But if I start, I'll just keep going and going and going.

I have no idea how many beers/vodkas/whiskys I had over the 2 nights. Don't want to know. But I do know how long I was drinking for and it's well over 24 hours over the two occasions. Part of the problem is that I don't really appear to be too steaming when I drink so nobody really tells me to stop. So I just drink and drink and drink.

2) I understand. Post-drinking it's easy to give it the 'never again' chat. But this is every time I drink. I've lost the ability to have two or three. Not really left with much choice.

I can easily not drink. I'm not at the point of needing to drink to get through the day. The problem is when put in a position where drinking is expected, I fall off a cliff. Need some ways to deal with that.

Fair enough. I've made progress but I'm still improving. I too still drink too much when I do it, it's just become a very minor part of life now. Syaing that, my work Xmas do is on Thursday and I get nervous that it will f**k up my routine, so it's just about being disciplined with myself, even if it means not drinking Thursday.

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I've pretty much given it up but like a beer or couple plus a whisky max if I'm having a meal or a night out.
I dont really get out much but have had blowouts on occasion. Used to drink in the house by myself when I had the chance during shift work and that was awful.
Got the works do this week and have got a plan where I cant drink more than a couple as someone relies on me the next day for a lift.
For me drink and drugs was a mask to hide hanging about with a bunch or toxic friends and denying stuff that happened so have a bad view of it so once I flicked the 'f**k this' switch it was easy to keep off.

I despise the drinking culture in the uk and wish it was more socially acceptable to be sober. It take much more mental fortitude and should be admired.

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Can't buy too much, mate. If it's there, I'll drink it.

I’m the same. Actually my position is actually very similar to yours. I feel a lengthy abstinence is all that will work for me. Whenever I “have to” drink at a big social thing or whatever it sets me back.

I was out over the weekend and don’t plan on drinking again for a long time. Of course we all drink for a reason and it’s sorting out the background stuff that will help us. I recently self referred to Insight but haven’t heard back yet. It’s only been 2 months mind.

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36 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said:


Got the works do this week and have got a plan where I cant drink more than a couple as someone relies on me the next day for a lift.
 

Tried this for Saturday night. Made plans for Sunday late morning to see a friend.

Ended up just cancelling at some ridiculous time in the morning. Amazed I had the clarity to do so, but I think plans and aspirations just come second to keeping drinking. Part of the problem is clearly raised tolerance. I can, and indeed need to, drink more than previously to get the same feeling.

 

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32 minutes ago, JTS98 said:

Tried this for Saturday night. Made plans for Sunday late morning to see a friend.

Ended up just cancelling at some ridiculous time in the morning. Amazed I had the clarity to do so, but I think plans and aspirations just come second to keeping drinking. Part of the problem is clearly raised tolerance. I can, and indeed need to, drink more than previously to get the same feeling.

 

You need to figure out why you're letting yourself just give your whole self over to this, no matter how difficult or uneasy it is to admit. If you want to stop this cycle of drinking, please go to your doctor at the very least. 

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Dip into this thread from time to time.

Shouldn't need to apologise for getting things off your chest.

Edited by Slenderman

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Tried this for Saturday night. Made plans for Sunday late morning to see a friend.
Ended up just cancelling at some ridiculous time in the morning. Amazed I had the clarity to do so, but I think plans and aspirations just come second to keeping drinking. Part of the problem is clearly raised tolerance. I can, and indeed need to, drink more than previously to get the same feeling.
 
Its not easy and i dont want to sound condescending or that I have the answers but just looking at the weekend you've ruined sat and sunday and also probably pissed off a friend. As said you need to think about why you're doing this and if that's hard then just look at how much better you would feel without it.
Try it once and tell yourself well done.

For me it was a decision to remove myself from a toxic situation and that meant being sober so it was on/off. I did keep drinking in the house for a bit but over time I realised it was binge drinking and chose being healthy instead.

There must be lots of better information online or local support groups?

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Been struggling the past 3 days keep breaking out in tears for no reason, part of me thinks that might as well not be here but the same time i know thats not me. Honestly feel all over the place you feel alone yet same time you cba with anyone. You want someone to talk to but the folk you know dont either understand, or you dont want to bother anyone with your issues as at the end of the day the only person that can snap me out of it is me, or i get the great word of advice "can you not just cheer up"

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Been struggling the past 3 days keep breaking out in tears for no reason, part of me thinks that might as well not be here but the same time i know thats not me. Honestly feel all over the place you feel alone yet same time you cba with anyone. You want someone to talk to but the folk you know dont either understand, or you dont want to bother anyone with your issues as at the end of the day the only person that can snap me out of it is me, or i get the great word of advice "can you not just cheer up"

Sorry to hear you’re struggling mate. I understand where your head is as from WGT you said I’ve felt the same many times over the past few years - thankfully not for a few weeks or so now though. It’s definitely not better off that you’re not here anymore. Doesn’t matter how worthless you feel or think you are, it’s not true - you matter. Keep fighting the good fight, you’re not alone in the battle

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9 hours ago, JTS98 said:

Ok. There's probably some of this on here already, but it's a big thread to look through now.

Looking for advice from anyone who's ever given up the bevvy and actually binned it successfully.

The last six months or so I've been doing a lot better than previously. A big part of this was training for a half marathon which involved seriously upping the amount of running I was doing along with stopping drinking. This worked well for me. I had something to concentrate on, running became just part of my routine and drinking was consequently off the table.

Mentally and physically felt fantastic.

However, a couple of weeks before the HM I badly strained a muscle in my calf and the HM was off. Suddenly I had no reason not to drink and in the last few weeks I've done some serious rebound drinking. Friday and Saturday nights just passed are a complete blur and I'm into what feels like the second day of my hangover with associated fear, self-loathing etc etc.

There's no panic here, I know I just need to bin the  drinking. What I'm looking for are any wee tips from anyone who has successfully done it. I just can't drink any more. I can't stop once I start and I'm a danger to myself physically as well as moving myself back months mentally. 

So, who's done it and how did you do it? Obviously it could be quite a tricky thing to do from a social perspective.

Yes I've successfully done this after many years of drinking way too much and I think I can see what your problem might be.

It looks like you've swapped one addiction (alcohol) with another addiction (running).

To solve your problem properly and sustainably you need to address your relationship with alcohol directly.

I decided I didn't want that horrible feeling of loss of control which comes with being pissed. I also didn't want to lose my Sundays. Then I decided I didn't want to have to work with a hangover. I didn't want to be losing so much money each month and came up with better things I wanted to do with the cash. Then there was my kids. What if something serious happened and I couldn't take them to a hospital because I couldn't drive? So in short I came up with a whole host of reasons not to want to drink and associated alcohol with bad things. Because my reasons were genuine, from the minute I made that list I just simply stopped.

You'd need to come up with your own reasons for stopping but if they are strong enough you might find it easier to give up than you think. It's dealing with the root cause of that addiction which will help you. Replacing it with something else as you've done is only going to be a temporary measure.

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Been struggling the past 3 days keep breaking out in tears for no reason, part of me thinks that might as well not be here but the same time i know thats not me. Honestly feel all over the place you feel alone yet same time you cba with anyone. You want someone to talk to but the folk you know dont either understand, or you dont want to bother anyone with your issues as at the end of the day the only person that can snap me out of it is me, or i get the great word of advice "can you not just cheer up"

Mate, you’ll find this area of the forum is a great sounding board & a lot of the posters on here can & will give you great advice having gone through similar to how you are feeling now.
It’s an excellent place to talk out your problems & if you want to open up about the possible reasons for feeling the way you are.
Best of luck mate.

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