Depression

[Stellaboz]

@jagfox99 really sorry to hear that. If you need advice on anything, just message me. Remember and  just take your time with everything. 

[jagfox]

9 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said:

Sorry to hear that @jagfox99.  Not an easy thing to do.

Thanks KB

7 minutes ago, Stellaboz said:

@jagfox99 really sorry to hear that. If you need advice on anything, just message me. Remember and  just take your time with everything. 

Appreciated Stellaboz. Managed to do or arrange official stuff. Keeping busy has been good. I'll need to get a line for work but they've been decent. Don't want to be hanging around too much if possible.

[trainspotter]

19 minutes ago, jagfox99 said:

 Keeping busy has been good. I'll need to get a line for work but they've been decent. Don't want to be hanging around too much if possible.

My condolences also. Lost my Dad around this time last year, the best advice I was given (and took) was not to go back to work too soon.

[jagfox]

9 minutes ago, trainspotter said:

My condolences also. Lost my Dad around this time last year, the best advice I was given (and took) was not to go back to work too soon.

Sorry to hear that mate. But good advice. I hope things have got easier for you since last year.

[CM.]

On 09/12/2019 at 06:46, JTS98 said:

Ok. There's probably some of this on here already, but it's a big thread to look through now.

Looking for advice from anyone who's ever given up the bevvy and actually binned it successfully.

The last six months or so I've been doing a lot better than previously. A big part of this was training for a half marathon which involved seriously upping the amount of running I was doing along with stopping drinking. This worked well for me. I had something to concentrate on, running became just part of my routine and drinking was consequently off the table.

Mentally and physically felt fantastic.

However, a couple of weeks before the HM I badly strained a muscle in my calf and the HM was off. Suddenly I had no reason not to drink and in the last few weeks I've done some serious rebound drinking. Friday and Saturday nights just passed are a complete blur and I'm into what feels like the second day of my hangover with associated fear, self-loathing etc etc.

There's no panic here, I know I just need to bin the  drinking. What I'm looking for are any wee tips from anyone who has successfully done it. I just can't drink any more. I can't stop once I start and I'm a danger to myself physically as well as moving myself back months mentally. 

So, who's done it and how did you do it? Obviously it could be quite a tricky thing to do from a social perspective.

Only just seen this post. My good friend @Sir Kevin Of Kilsyth successfully binned the drink well over a year ago and is still going strong after years of alcohol abuse. When he sees this I'm sure he'll either reply here or PM you with some advice.

[trainspotter]

15 minutes ago, jagfox99 said:

Sorry to hear that mate. But good advice. I hope things have got easier for you since last year.

Thanks.

Me and my partner are planning to crack open the malt whisky I'd bought for his Christmas last year and raise a glass to his memory. I suspect there might be a few tears at that point, but plenty of smiles at his "offbeat" sense of humour as well.

[jagfox]

6 minutes ago, trainspotter said:

Thanks.

Me and my partner are planning to crack open the malt whisky I'd bought for his Christmas last year and raise a glass to his memory. I suspect there might be a few tears at that point, but plenty of smiles at his "offbeat" sense of humour as well.

Sounds like a great plan. Merry Christmas.

[Venti]

5 hours ago, jagfox99 said:

@Snafu would it be possible to share the task with your sister? 

Let her speak to folk she knows then you might get the confidence to speak to people you feel you should speak to directly?

I just lost my mum on Monday and I've been busy doing the 'business side of things but I can't get round to finding her address book as she was agrophobic and hadn't left the house in years.

Not an easy situation but do what you can. You dont need to contact everyone at once. Break ot up to a pace that suits you. You need to look after yourself now number one. Something that many carers forget when in the thick of things.

All the best with everything going forward.

Sorry about your Mum mate.

[jagfox]

13 minutes ago, Slenderman said:

Sorry about your Mum mate.

Appreciate that mate

[Venti]

6 minutes ago, jagfox99 said:

Appreciate that mate

Have good amount of T & take care man.

[Brother Blades]

[mention=38378]Snafu[/mention] would it be possible to share the task with your sister? 
Let her speak to folk she knows then you might get the confidence to speak to people you feel you should speak to directly?
I just lost my mum on Monday and I've been busy doing the 'business side of things but I can't get round to finding her address book as she was agrophobic and hadn't left the house in years.
Not an easy situation but do what you can. You dont need to contact everyone at once. Break ot up to a pace that suits you. You need to look after yourself now number one. Something that many carers forget when in the thick of things.
All the best with everything going forward.

Sorry for your loss, I’ll echo what others have said & don’t rush things. Keeping busy certainly helps keep the mind occupied too.

[Daydream]

[mention=38378]Snafu[/mention] would it be possible to share the task with your sister? 
Let her speak to folk she knows then you might get the confidence to speak to people you feel you should speak to directly?
I just lost my mum on Monday and I've been busy doing the 'business side of things but I can't get round to finding her address book as she was agrophobic and hadn't left the house in years.
Not an easy situation but do what you can. You dont need to contact everyone at once. Break ot up to a pace that suits you. You need to look after yourself now number one. Something that many carers forget when in the thick of things.
All the best with everything going forward.

Sad news mate. Best wishes.

[Shandon Par]

7 hours ago, jagfox99 said:

 

I just lost my mum on Monday and I've been busy doing the 'business side of things but I can't get round to finding her address book as she was agrophobic and hadn't left the house in years.

 

Sorry to hear that. Sorry if stating the obvious but have you posted any death notices in papers etc? Plenty of old codgers keep a close eye on the births, deaths and marriages in the papers so that could unearth a few old acquaintances of hers. 

I found a "Happy Birthday Mum" card when clearing out some drawers last night and I doubt my mum will be around long enough for me to send her another as she's very decrepit and can't do anything without the aid of two people and has rapidly worsening dementia. She'd rather not be around any more so it's a strange feeling thinking that she'd rather die than carry on and I have to agree with her sentiment. If she was a pet you'd want her to be put out of her misery humanely. Instead I get calls all the time from her saying she's in hell on earth and her thinking folk are out to get her etc. Not that it's your concern as you have your grieving to do but it just makes me question what I'll feel when the time comes. 

I hope you get the time to reflect on her life over the festive period and have some good memories to look back on. It's shite losing someone but if you have good memories about them at least it's a good time to reflect back on them and appreciate that person having been a part of your life. 

[welshbairn]

7 hours ago, jagfox99 said:

@Snafu would it be possible to share the task with your sister? 

Let her speak to folk she knows then you might get the confidence to speak to people you feel you should speak to directly?

I just lost my mum on Monday and I've been busy doing the 'business side of things but I can't get round to finding her address book as she was agrophobic and hadn't left the house in years.

Not an easy situation but do what you can. You dont need to contact everyone at once. Break ot up to a pace that suits you. You need to look after yourself now number one. Something that many carers forget when in the thick of things.

All the best with everything going forward.

Lost my Dad a few years ago, a couple of weeks before my niece's wedding so it was a manic time trying to get everything done so as not to put a downer on the wedding. Busy is good, didn't cry till the end of my my short funeral speech, thankfully only a couple of sobs. Still get a bit tearful for no real reason, sitting alone on a bus or something, but it's not a bad thing. He had severe dementia, used to ask who that old woman in the house was, his wife. Still took him out to the pub for a half pint most days until he was hospitalised with a broken hip a fortnight before the end, caught pneumonia, they used to call it the old man's friend or something similar. Stay strong mate. 

[Dons_1988]

This thread is a difficult read at times but so heartening to see what goes on in here.

[Barney Rubble]

9 hours ago, jagfox99 said:

I just lost my mum on Monday and I've been busy doing the 'business side of things.

So sorry to hear about your loss jagfox. That's a horrible situation to have to cope with at any time, but particularly so at this time of the year.

Stay strong man.

[D.A.F.C]

Best wishes jagfox, sorry to hear about your loss.

 

[jagfox]

Thanks for the kind words folks. Much appreciated ❤

[Guest Moomintroll]

Thanks for the kind words folks. Much appreciated [emoji173][emoji169]

Can only echo what everyone else has said jagfox, don't put yourself under too much pressure to feel "normal" again. Everyone is different but it only really hit me after the Funeral as I had do much keeping me busy, make sure you take that time if you need it to come to terms with everything.

[jagfox]

9 minutes ago, Snafu said:

 

 

I phoned my mother's friend this evening and it was a lot easier than I expected and she was calmer than I was. She never said but I got the impression she already knew something hadn't been right for while.

I was an absolute bag of nerves towards the end of the call and for about half an hour after.

I'll get on the phone again tomorrow.

Well done mate.