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You're not alone in this fight DA.
I've not really socialised for years and have closed myself off to relationships.
No idea also how to fix it either and this year told my parents I was feeling so trapped by the way I was being treated at work I was feeling suicidal to an extent. Needed some escape from feeling shit.
Just feel like its constant getting hit with an emotional hammer and too scared to try because obviously, in my mind, I will fail.
Basically left for dead by old bad group of friends and even when I reached out they were still shitty.
Workplace mobbing on top of being withdrawn is awful.
Have thought about speaking to a gp or a group and even joining a club but when you get put down and excluded every day it's hard to feel better. Tried speaking to management in a nice way about it and they didnt take it seriously and blamed me in a way.
Exercise is helping though and at least i have five a side to get me out the house. Was looking at crossfit but dont feel mentally ready to meet with strangers atm.
DA if you stayed in dunfermline I would meet up or even think about joining a gym.
This thread and the decent people on it is unexpected when you see all the toxic crap on the internet.
How do you overcome self esteem issues?
This is what I need to do.

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Now that's embarrasing.
Although not as embarrasing as not getting married until you're forty f*****g four...


^^^^ can’t spell embarrassing

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I won’t bore the thread with my story again but DA, read Tyson fury’s story or someone like David goggins, get it up on YouTube and watch them.

People who thought they were finished and look at them now. I know how loud that voice is saying it’s too late, it’s the end of the road etc. And I know a few dafties on a football forum saying otherwise won’t help that much but hang in there.

One day at a time, just start doing things that are good for you. Today, then the next day, then the next and so on. Within a few weeks you’ll start building momentum.

It is never too late.

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34 minutes ago, Dons_1988 said:

 


^^^^ can’t spell embarrassing

 

I was hoping that would distract him from his current problems...:whistle

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Some amount of people on here thinking they are weak or embarrassing at times but the opposite is completely true- incredible strength and resilience shown by all- well done to all.

Particularly BA- you’ve told the forum about some amount of adversity you’ve experienced in your life, but you still, albeit with difficulty at times, function and seem like a good dude when you’ve got all the reasons in the world to be an angry, bitter person.  That’s character.

And to everyone else, depression is horrible, a lot of the time it can’t be beaten, but it can be managed if you just draw upon the strength that you have all shown, or that of others.

Keep talking and looking out for each other.

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I don’t know if it’s grandstanding or toxic masculinity or what but I feel that some people actually enjoy seeing people isolated or different.

Seeing people who were friendly or nice to you turn because they see someone in power being nasty to you is shit. Easier to sell out and join in than have a backbone and stand up for someone struggling. You must have deserved this treatment or done something. Yes, rationalise it because it can’t happen to decent people can it? Yep, that’s totally it la la la...oh f**k it’s happening to me now.

At school some arse who I thought was my friend decided that he couldn’t handle that the lassie he fancied was seeing someone else so tried to fight him and got banged. Next thing he makes up some BS story about me and gets another mates wee brother to attack me out of the blue, I was told that if I fought back I would have been jumped by them all. Stupidly I still continued going around with them but it was over after that. Tried to hide it by drinking and taking drugs. Found one decent friend and then he died out of the blue. Been hiding away since then and basically just working and exercising. Spent about four or five years not even leaving the house much apart from work. Went for a night out with work colleague a while ago and walked into a pub and got started on by some bawbag. Rest of the night barely said a word. 
Family doesn’t really help and just get worked up or telling me to do something about it then go back to pretending nothing is wrong. I feel like they don’t deserve it as my mum and dad both have chronic illness and my mum has been unwell for quite a while now.

Believe it or not I’m actually still able to function quite well and outperform most colleagues. I hear them whining about daft shit like slow broadband or the coffee machine isn’t working and wonder how they would cope with real issues?

Surrounding myself with non toxic and decent people and looking forward will improve things but I keep running into the worst. It’s not normal for friends to run you down, apart from banter, is it?

Edited by D.A.F.C

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I don’t know if it’s grandstanding or toxic masculinity or what but I feel that some people actually enjoy seeing people isolated or different.
Seeing people who were friendly or nice to you turn because they see someone in power being nasty to you is shit. Easier to sell out and join in than have a backbone and stand up for someone struggling. You must have deserved this treatment or done something. Yes, rationalise it because it can’t happen to decent people can it? Yep, that’s totally it la la la...oh f**k it’s happening to me now.
At school some arse who I thought was my friend decided that he couldn’t handle that the lassie he fancied was seeing someone else so tried to fight him and got banged. Next thing he makes up some BS story about me and gets another mates wee brother to attack me out of the blue, I was told that if I fought back I would have been jumped by them all. Stupidly I still continued going around with them but it was over after that. Tried to hide it by drinking and taking drugs. Found one decent friend and then he died out of the blue. Been hiding away since then and basically just working and exercising. Spent about four or five years not even leaving the house much apart from work. Went for a night out with work colleague a while ago and walked into a pub and got started on by some bawbag. Rest of the night barely said a word. 
Family doesn’t really help and just get worked up or telling me to do something about it then go back to pretending nothing is wrong. I feel like they don’t deserve it as my mum and dad both have chronic illness and my mum has been unwell for quite a while now.
Believe it or not I’m actually still able to function quite well and outperform most colleagues. I hear them whining about daft shit like slow broadband or the coffee machine isn’t working and wonder how they would cope with real issues?
Surrounding myself with non toxic and decent people and looking forward will improve things but I keep running into the worst. It’s not normal for friends to run you down, apart from banter, is it?

No, it isn’t normal. We’ll all experience toxic people from time to time. We just have to hope we can see it early enough and it’s easy to get out of it. While we’ll be blighted with toxic people, we’ll also be blessed (Facebook type shite for this I know) with people coming in to our life who are genuine and want to see us strive.

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Reading @D.A.F.C's post made me think of this :

giphy-downsized-large.gif.f7a4a9ee6c912b1e613460fce5894c83.gif

You'll encounter it every where you go. Folk like to be sheep, f**k them. Go in do your graft and go home. Or better yet, don't go home. Go out and find new things to do which, in turn, will hopefully bring a newer better circle of friends with it. 

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Yet again, it’s my fault.

It isn’t. You’ve maybe made mistakes but folk who take the piss (and it happens to me, people play on my weaknesses) are to blame - not you.

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I was sectioned (started voluntary but went a tad wrong) at end August for some crisis care.

Was home three days later. Saw a psychiatrist once and had change GP as I’d moved house.

other than that it’s been on my own. Out hours cpn is useless, wouldn’t bother with them agajn. As no tests or X-rays the cry’s of OMG how did you get so bad die down after a week or so and people forget.

I Started a p/t job end sept and that’s helped with structure in middle day when kids at school.

The support available when we are in these horrific places is patchy depending on area. I came off fb durung a #mykettleson and a ramble about suicide and never being alone share thing doing rounds.

So Ill informed.

 

DA abd anyone else, many of us on here have lived in experience, 20 years now,  and it’s a safe place to post, you can always ask next day anything you want to be deleted. I have a therapist and she says she’d rather the a rambling text at 2am (silent on phone!) and if it gets it’s out and keeps me safe. Much like a post on here.

It’s the one topic in the forum that doesn’t get hijacked.

I have bpd, depression, anxiety and more recently ptsd.

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IMG_2632.thumb.jpg.9774b0d558ec628a8f2166ebad93269c.jpg
I didn’t know this service existed.


It’s a fairly new service but it’s really picking up in terms of volunteers and people texting in. I started volunteering with them a few months ago after I was finding it difficult to commit the time to do a Samaritans shift.

If anybody is feeling in distress it’s definitely worth getting in touch, especially if you find it easier to type out how you’re feeling.


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Guest Moomintroll


It’s a fairly new service but it’s really picking up in terms of volunteers and people texting in. I started volunteering with them a few months ago after I was finding it difficult to commit the time to do a Samaritans shift.

If anybody is feeling in distress it’s definitely worth getting in touch, especially if you find it easier to type out how you’re feeling.


Going to look into volunteering for that, is there a website address to apply to? How much training is required before you can start?

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26 minutes ago, Moomintroll said:
7 hours ago, tbone stag said:


It’s a fairly new service but it’s really picking up in terms of volunteers and people texting in. I started volunteering with them a few months ago after I was finding it difficult to commit the time to do a Samaritans shift.

If anybody is feeling in distress it’s definitely worth getting in touch, especially if you find it easier to type out how you’re feeling.

 

Going to look into volunteering for that, is there a website address to apply to? How much training is required before you can start?

Training session #1 - don't mention you're a tory

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32 minutes ago, Moomintroll said:
33 minutes ago, Dons_1988 said:
Training session #1 - don't mention you're a tory

Once again, harsh but fair.

:lol: I don't actually care that you're a tory. I find the disdain with which its held on the site quite funny though.

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Going to look into volunteering for that, is there a website address to apply to? How much training is required before you can start?

 

 

http://www.giveusashout.org

 

I think the training is spread out over 6 weeks and probably takes 1-2 hours to complete each week. It’s great to hear you’re thinking about volunteering as we always need more people.

 

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Guest Moomintroll
I don't actually care that you're a tory. I find the disdain with which its held on the site quite funny though.
I have never hidden it but some people on here really do not like me because of it. I just do what I do, if other people hate me when they don't even know me then meh, I can live with that knowing that I will always do what I can to help other people. I just live in the hope that someone else will help me if I need it.

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Guest Moomintroll
 
 
http://www.giveusashout.org
 
I think the training is spread out over 6 weeks and probably takes 1-2 hours to complete each week. It’s great to hear you’re thinking about volunteering as we always need more people.
 
Will get on it when I can get on my laptop.

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