Depression

[Dons_1988]

Article on bbc sport about Robert enke 10 years on from his death.

Still find it terrifying reading and so sad. Especially that he seemingly came through his depression a few times before it eventually came back fatally.

[Jacksgranda]

42 minutes ago, Dons_1988 said:

Article on bbc sport about Robert enke 10 years on from his death.

Still find it terrifying reading and so sad. Especially that he seemingly came through his depression a few times before it eventually came back fatally.

Here - https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/50377937

[mizfit]

A new Andy’s Man Club group is opening in Scotland soon.



Currently have Groups in Perth, Dundee, Dunfermline & Glenrothes.

Every Monday at 7.
I’d honestly say it’s made me feel better.

[Richey Edwards]

I tried to kill myself 7 years ago on the 12th of November. I always remembered the date for some reason.

I was in my early 20's, didn't have much going for me and was drinking quite a lot at the time which is often a recipe for disaster, especially if you are depressed already.

Partly it was because I felt that I had made too many mistakes and spurned whatever chances I had had to better myself, and I thought that I was failure and would never become anything better than a fat, lonely alcoholic. My mind was a pretty scary place looking back, when I remember the kind of things that I used to think about and all of the intrusive thoughts that I used to have most of the time.

I had a couple more suicide attempts in 2016 and 2017, but was eventually able to get the professional help that would help me to deal with my depression and get rid of 95% of the nasty stuff in my head. Life is not perfect, but I am better equipped to deal with it these days.

Today I found out that I have been accepted into university to do what I have always wanted to do.

The point of this post is that it is possible for you to get better and your situation to improve, even if it appears impossible. You are never beyond help and it is still possible to achieve anything you want.

[Karpaty Lviv]

5 minutes ago, The Gypsy King said:

I tried to kill myself 7 years ago on the 12th of November. I always remembered the date for some reason.

I was in my early 20's, didn't have much going for me and was drinking quite a lot at the time which is often a recipe for disaster, especially if you are depressed already.

Partly it was because I felt that I had made too many mistakes and spurned whatever chances I had had to better myself, and I thought that I was failure and would never become anything better than a fat, lonely alcoholic. My mind was a pretty scary place looking back, when I remember the kind of things that I used to think about and all of the intrusive thoughts that I used to have most of the time.

I had a couple more suicide attempts in 2016 and 2017, but was eventually able to get the professional help that would help me to deal with my depression and get rid of 95% of the nasty stuff in my head. Life is not perfect, but I am better equipped to deal with it these days.

Today I found out that I have been accepted into university to do what I have always wanted to do.

The point of this post is that it is possible for you to get better and your situation to improve, even if it appears impossible. You are never beyond help and it is still possible to achieve anything you want.

Good for you mate. Hope the course goes well. 

[Dunfermline Don]

I tried to kill myself 7 years ago on the 12th of November. I always remembered the date for some reason.
I was in my early 20's, didn't have much going for me and was drinking quite a lot at the time which is often a recipe for disaster, especially if you are depressed already.
Partly it was because I felt that I had made too many mistakes and spurned whatever chances I had had to better myself, and I thought that I was failure and would never become anything better than a fat, lonely alcoholic. My mind was a pretty scary place looking back, when I remember the kind of things that I used to think about and all of the intrusive thoughts that I used to have most of the time.
I had a couple more suicide attempts in 2016 and 2017, but was eventually able to get the professional help that would help me to deal with my depression and get rid of 95% of the nasty stuff in my head. Life is not perfect, but I am better equipped to deal with it these days.
Today I found out that I have been accepted into university to do what I have always wanted to do.
The point of this post is that it is possible for you to get better and your situation to improve, even if it appears impossible. You are never beyond help and it is still possible to achieve anything you want.

Good luck and all the best for the future. I was in a dark place myself recently then found out someone I previously work with had just died of cancer. They were the same age as me and it put all my problems into perspective.

[NJ2]

I tried to kill myself 7 years ago on the 12th of November. I always remembered the date for some reason.
I was in my early 20's, didn't have much going for me and was drinking quite a lot at the time which is often a recipe for disaster, especially if you are depressed already.
Partly it was because I felt that I had made too many mistakes and spurned whatever chances I had had to better myself, and I thought that I was failure and would never become anything better than a fat, lonely alcoholic. My mind was a pretty scary place looking back, when I remember the kind of things that I used to think about and all of the intrusive thoughts that I used to have most of the time.
I had a couple more suicide attempts in 2016 and 2017, but was eventually able to get the professional help that would help me to deal with my depression and get rid of 95% of the nasty stuff in my head. Life is not perfect, but I am better equipped to deal with it these days.
Today I found out that I have been accepted into university to do what I have always wanted to do.
The point of this post is that it is possible for you to get better and your situation to improve, even if it appears impossible. You are never beyond help and it is still possible to achieve anything you want.

Good on you mate. I think this thread alone tells us there’s a lot of people who have reached the same depths for whatever reason. But, stay alive and things can turn around and pick up.
It is possible, even if it seems impossible, for the situation to improve.

[Dons_1988]

10 hours ago, The Gypsy King said:

I tried to kill myself 7 years ago on the 12th of November. I always remembered the date for some reason.

I was in my early 20's, didn't have much going for me and was drinking quite a lot at the time which is often a recipe for disaster, especially if you are depressed already.

Partly it was because I felt that I had made too many mistakes and spurned whatever chances I had had to better myself, and I thought that I was failure and would never become anything better than a fat, lonely alcoholic. My mind was a pretty scary place looking back, when I remember the kind of things that I used to think about and all of the intrusive thoughts that I used to have most of the time.

I had a couple more suicide attempts in 2016 and 2017, but was eventually able to get the professional help that would help me to deal with my depression and get rid of 95% of the nasty stuff in my head. Life is not perfect, but I am better equipped to deal with it these days.

Today I found out that I have been accepted into university to do what I have always wanted to do.

The point of this post is that it is possible for you to get better and your situation to improve, even if it appears impossible. You are never beyond help and it is still possible to achieve anything you want.

Good on you and everything you say is spot on.

Hold onto this as if and when this illness tries to get you again you always have the knowledge that you can get out. It's a c**t of a thing and it can be pretty persuasive that you have no options left.

Also the username is presumably a nod to Mr Fury. Good man, his story is absolutely brilliant. I love it.

[D.A.F.C]

I watched the Tyson fury interview with Joe Rogan a few weeks back. It’s great that people like this are speaking out. Hardest man on the planet floored by depression despite being a world champion. There’s no shame in mental illness but still it’s seen as weak or needy to ask for help.

Personally I’ve felt low since mid twenties when I fell out with a bad bunch of toxic friends and have carried that mindset since which has resulted in me isolating myself due to low confidence. I feel that the workplace issues are also a side effect of this. It’s like my mind is holding me back to avoid confrontation or take risks due to the betrayal of trust. Trying to use exercise to build confidence but the social side of things is hard. I think self improvement and finding a job where I’m valued is the way forward. Feel like I’m due some luck for a change. Starting to think speaking to a therapist to be able to only look forward and not dwell on the past might be an idea.

[johnnydun]

1 hour ago, D.A.F.C said:

not dwell on the past might be an idea.

Absofuckinglutely.

You can't change the past so no point dwelling on the could've been. It's what you plan to do in front of you, you can have a say in that.

[pittsburgh phil]

DA I'm here if you want an ear.

[19QOS19]

Every single day you go home to no one. For over 5 years. You go home and you won't speak or interact with anyone for 8 and 3 quarter hours.
Been single for over 9 years. Too fat. Too repulsive. No one finds you someone to talk to, let alone get to know. Worthless. No reason to be. Die.
If you don't go to the football then you won't speak to anyone the entire weekend unless you order a Burger King.
Death seems so tempting. It also seems terrifying. The unknown is the only reason it hasn't happened.
Wasted too much. Can't rescue it. If I was 10 years younger then it would be fine but even if I get qualifications  now I'll be too old. 
It's too late and I've fucked it.
It's done.

You're in your 30's(?) You're not even close to being done. The number of mature students on my Uni course years ago was unreal. I'm talking late 40's to mid 50's. The qualification changed their lives.

If nothing else a Uni/College course would get you out socialising which would probably change your life in itself as I get the feeling you are a bit lonely?

You need to be less critical of yourself as well. I've put on weight recently too. I don't particularly like it but I don't hate myself for it. You shouldn't either.

Have you been to your GP to discuss how you're feeling?

[19QOS19]

Haha  birss kn club photos! 
All of them hate me. Or at least see how repulsively fat I am.
When you're fat you are either invisible or incredibly obvious and ripe for ridicule.
I've been fat for years. I have had addictions and mental issues. It's still my fault. I need to die. 
I havw fucked ir all. Genuinely have left it too late. 
Too many debts and too many obstacles

You've not given an "obstacle" that can't be overcome.

Everyone has some kind of debt and you can always make more money. There are plenty of services that can help you ease the stress of this. You can overcome you're weight issues as well. A walk or jog at night could be hard going at the beginning but it could lead to improved mental health as well. At your age a career is not off the table. You'll have "life experience" behind you on top of your qualification. Something a lot of employers do look for. When my wife qualified aged 21 she was knocked back a few times and this given as a reason. Take things in bite sized chunks, one thing at a time.

[Bairnardo]

Ali is right DA, get yerself off to bed mate. Come back on here in the morning and speak. I am sure it will help, even if its only a miniscule amount. You have posted enough on here about various things you have done to alleviate the things that get you down, like dealing with the payday loan shite, walking back and forward to work etc. You're not a lost cause, and  you're most definitely not too old for any of what most folk would consider "life goals". You are also very obviously clever enough to get after them

Have a sleep my man. 

[19QOS19]

There's a file kn the uni drive (H I think).
It explains some.
Explains enough.
Doesn't matter. Of you can hack my email then remove a number. 
Pictures and explanation. Easy to read. Easy to avoid. Might seem harsh on some folk but ultimately my own fault.
Graphic but who cares? No one so what the f**k?! Shame

Folk will care. There are strangers on here that care so I'm sure you'll have real people in your life that do.

Try and get some sleep and don't do anything silly tonight. There's always a way out of any situation, this entire thread is proof of that.

[Chicken Wing]

DA get your arse messaging me. We had a good night together tonight. My family loves you, my daughter loves you, my wife loves you, I LOVE YOU.

Call me ASAP

[19QOS19]

Graphic but who cares? No one so what the f**k?! Shame

Folk will care. There are strangers on here that care so I'm sure you'll have real people in your life that do.

DA get your arse messaging me. We had a good night together tonight. My family loves you, my daughter loves you, my wife loves you, I LOVE YOU.

Call me ASAP

Case and point DA.

[Chicken Wing]

I will reiterate this, call me. I have tried calling you but your phone is going to voicemail, I will try and try and try. I'm hoping you've gone to bed, and this is the first thing you see.

You need to call me!

[Dons_1988]

Heartbreaking reading that.

‘It’s too late’ etc is 100% the drink/illness talking. I’ve been there, it’s lying to you, but it’s very convincing.

Thoughts with you DA, you will beat this one day.

[mizfit]

DA mate your one of the best laughs On this site.

 

Hope your feeling better today. I posted a while back on this thread about the Dundee Andy’s man club. You talk about being alone with no interaction, or someone to talk too. The group is literally for that reason.

 

I urge you to consider it for us, and to Also talk to us if anything’s bothering you.

 

 

It’s the boomerang community centre in Dundee DA. I don’t know Dundee that well, but I’d look up there Facebook page if you need help getting there or that.