Depression

[Rab B Nesbit]

20 hours ago, Dele said:

Yeah, I know it's a horrible thing and I tell every youngster I see on it to kick it before it's too late. It's my coping mechanism though. 

You seriously need to find a new one or none of the rest of it’s going to go any better. 

[LondonHMFC]

On ‎22‎/‎06‎/‎2019 at 09:42, LondonHMFC said:

Feeling a bit off at the moment, not sure I would class it as being depressed, more that I'm at a cross road in life. 

Just bit of an update really,

Went home last weekend as it was my Dad's birthday. Had a couple of cracking days out in the hills, and could feel the pressure alleviate almost all together.

Returned home, and told my partner that I am struggling with living down here, and that I want to move home. She was upset, but totally understood. She also said that she knew I haven't been happy for a period of time, and was just relieved it wasn't her causing my unrest. We have a holiday in Greece at the end of the month, so are going to enjoy that, and then decide the best course of action.

I imagine we will break up, and whilst it will be hard for a period of time, I believe we will both move on in time, and get what we both want from life.

The next year will be a bit rocky, but there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel.

[NJ2]

Just bit of an update really,
Went home last weekend as it was my Dad's birthday. Had a couple of cracking days out in the hills, and could feel the pressure alleviate almost all together.
Returned home, and told my partner that I am struggling with living down here, and that I want to move home. She was upset, but totally understood. She also said that she knew I haven't been happy for a period of time, and was just relieved it wasn't her causing my unrest. We have a holiday in Greece at the end of the month, so are going to enjoy that, and then decide the best course of action.
I imagine we will break up, and whilst it will be hard for a period of time, I believe we will both move on in time, and get what we both want from life.
The next year will be a bit rocky, but there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel.

That will be tough, really tough. There’ll be a lot of annoyance at the world and the unfairness of it all - if that is what you decide - but living miserably isn’t living, just existing. Good on you for talking it through, couldn’t have been easy to bring up and sounds like her reaction didn’t make the situation any worse when she could have potentially been arsey about it.

[NJ2]

I am really stressed out and angry at the world right now. I have recently left my job due to horrible management, so I have now applied for two jobs in the local area. I am currently waiting on hearing back from them, but I know in my mind that I am going to be potless before something comes up. What is really getting to me is my dad's wife being noesy everytime I see her. If I go to the shop for a few beers, she automatically asks me "What did you buy?". When I say a few cans of beers, she has a disappointed look. Everytime I buy something, she always asks "How much did that cost?", or if I get myself a takeaway, she says "That looks healthy" in a sarcastic tone. I know full well that when I am up the stairs, she is complaining to my dad about how I don't have a job yet, and how I am wasting my money on junk.

Now here is why I think she is acting like a condescending hypocrite:

She hasn't worked for 3 years. When I was working early shifts, I would come back at 14:00 and she would still be in her bed. She would rarely clean the kitchen for my dad when he was away working. The worst thing is, I have lost a few expensive music instruments from a pawn shop. My dad was low on money, and he came in asking me that I should pawn my instruments, so we would have enough money to survive us the last week before we got paid. It took me a while, but I eventually agreed thinking that I would afford getting them back next month. I was wrong, it was the worst decision I have ever made in my life. It bugs me knowing that if my dad's wife had a job, then we wouldn't of had to pawn anything. My dad buys her food, pays for SKY and the internet, and does all the work in the house because she is too lazy to do anything herself. I have heard my dad tell me in private that she is a lazy b*****d, and that she needs a job. I just wish he would gain some courage, put his foot down, and tell HER that she needs to find work. This is why it angers me when she tells me I need a job. She has spent 3 years doing nothing and contributing no money for my dad. I have been paying rent and helping my dad out when I can, and yet she still has the nerve to criticise me about everything.

I feel like I am going to lose it, and tell her exactly what I think about her being condescending and hypocritical. I can't take all this stress and negativity from her any more. I am hoping that I hear back from a job I applied for soon, so I can save up money, and rent a house away from her and the negative vibe that surrounds her. I just feel sorry for my dad, because he will still be under her thumb, and he won't be getting enough rent money from me to help him survive.

I just wanted to vent about this. Because it has being making my Anxiety worse over the last month. Her constant questions and condescending tone have been making Paraniod about her moaning about me to my dad. Cheers to anyone who took the time to read this.

Good luck on the job hunt mate, hopefully you get something quick. Keep applying while you’re waiting on those two.
Not sure how you get on with your dads Mrs but could it be possible for a civilised conversation saying you’re pretty stressed as it is and don’t really need her comments etc.? You appreciate spending on the beer could have been elsewhere or the take away but you’re doing your best to get something sorted but her comments aren’t making things any better. If you can’t say it to her or reckon it’d just boil over, could say to your old man it’s bothering and tbh isn’t constructive. Then when you’ve got something you’ll be able to make wee snide comments back [emoji12]

[AL-FFC]

Been struggling past two days, cant bring myself to look at my work emails (due back in 2 weeks time) and just really wanting to break down in tears for no reason.  Have been back to the doctors this morning and got more antidepressants got an appointment with mental health counsellor on the 25th but cant seem to pick myself up.

[NJ2]

Been struggling past two days, cant bring myself to look at my work emails (due back in 2 weeks time) and just really wanting to break down in tears for no reason.  Have been back to the doctors this morning and got more antidepressants got an appointment with mental health counsellor on the 25th but cant seem to pick myself up.

Try not to worry about work for 2 weeks anyway mate. Your off, f**k it - easier said than I done I appreciate. Small tasks, get up, make the bed, brush your teeth, make some toast and you’ll see you’re achieving a great deal more than you think. Hopefully the health counsellor can give you better advice to get back feeling better.

[Guest bernardblack]

Anxiety got the better of me today. Terrible day.

Fortunately Mrs BB “forced” me to go out to fives earlier which helped a wee bit.

Early night and hoping tomorrow is better

[Stellaboz]

Quiet here past few days, hoping everyone who has been struggling has had a break from their problems?

[mizfit]

Quiet here past few days, hoping everyone who has been struggling has had a break from their problems?

Been better.
Attended the doctors who have decided to not give me medication, I declined a line for work, having heard bad stories about people being pressured into returning. Getting referred to weight management clinic to help me with my weight and it’s constant rising and falling.

Was referred to a mental health nurse who has made the point that if I can start motivating myself I’ll feel better. Which is fair.
Was told by my girlfriend to go to an Andy’s man club meeting, which I have been, and being able to talk has helped.

Also started walking more often. Only an hour at a time. But it’s good to get out of the house.

Planning on building my stamina back up before I move onto 5’s or the gym. Also me and my girlfriend have decided we need something to look forward to and have booked a holiday to the Dominican Republic.

Still feel shit, but not as shit is the best way to describe it just now.

[DAFC.]

Since my last bout of anxiety, I've actually managed to cope with things a lot better. I would say it was maybe 4 weeks ago? Since then I've been taking medication, going to therapy and staying active. Booked a holiday as well with my mates which I'm buzzing for. Last month, however, I felt like the world was collapsing in on me and there was only one escape - suicide. Thankfully I managed to see out the worst of it and get myself back to a more comfortable state of mind. I still struggle sometimes, but nowhere near as bad as I was back then. It does get better friends - talk to someone you love, seek therapy, do the things you love - you are special and needed in the world!

[Guest bernardblack]

I’ve started keeping a diary of my anxiety. When I’ve felt bad and better and tried to see what triggered it etc. Hopefully will be able to see some positive results from it

[Raidernation]

Yes, improvements, definitely.

Completed IOP for the alcoholism on Thursday, been living in the sober home for 7 weeks, just started the new job.

All round positivity, I honestly think the change of surroundings has helped immeasurably.

Still aware of the darkness there in my mind but I’m in a better place to see it coming and hopefully deal with it before it gets out of hand

[Credo67]

I’ve started keeping a diary of my anxiety. When I’ve felt bad and better and tried to see what triggered it etc. Hopefully will be able to see some positive results from it

Always a great idea to keep a diary bernardblack, just a wee thought from previous experience on it, sometimes for me when I experienced my anxiety it was not always in the now, sometimes it came from when I was "feeling good " and spoke to someone when I was "OK" then met them 2 days later n just wished I was under the duvet. So when it comes it may not always be about what is happening at that time but be related to something earlier, just a thought but defo keep the diary as it will make sense.... all the best

[Guest bernardblack]

Always a great idea to keep a diary bernardblack, just a wee thought from previous experience on it, sometimes for me when I experienced my anxiety it was not always in the now, sometimes it came from when I was "feeling good " and spoke to someone when I was "OK" then met them 2 days later n just wished I was under the duvet. So when it comes it may not always be about what is happening at that time but be related to something earlier, just a thought but defo keep the diary as it will make sense.... all the best

Thanks mate. Been keeping track for a week and it’s been good to look back and when/where/what triggered it and trying to work on it from there.

Been keeping track of caffeine etc too so hoping to see some correlation there

[Raidernation]

Just thought you’d like to know 60 days sober as of yesterday

[ayrmad]

5 hours ago, Raidernation said:

Just thought you’d like to know 60 days sober as of yesterday

Well done RN, a day at time and an hour or a minute at a time on a bad day.

[Stellaboz]

 

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[philpy]

I'm sorry to hear that Philpy. I want to give you some honest advice but it might not be the best. Just make sure your mum is okay, first and foremost OK? She's the important part here and deserves your attention rather than him.

Cheers man. That's what people have been telling me, but it's going to be hard.

[BigBo10]

I'm sorry to hear that Philpy. I want to give you some honest advice but it might not be the best. Just make sure your mum is okay, first and foremost OK? She's the important part here and deserves your attention rather than him.

This is my thoughts as well. Concentrating on your mum is enough to keep your mind away from your dad. Focus on her and it’ll be easier to ignore your dad if that’s what you need to do.

[welshbairn]

Someone posted this on the Falkirk thread. Thought it worth putting it on here for anyone having dark thoughts.

https://twitter.com/MotherwellFC/status/1155897550542692352