Depression

[AyrTroopMajor]

10 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

Not sure that's the best advice, as it will leave you severely limited in what you can do and almost certainly in a job you have zero passion for.

I went through 4 years of University to get a degree and now have a job which I have zero passion for and I didn't even need a degree for. Its a tough thing to give advice on but the 4 years of long journeys to Uni were not worth it for me. Conversely, I know several who chucked Uni after a year and now work in their dream job. I get what you are saying, but I see a lot of similarities between my situation back then and KezzaRover's now. Getting a full-time job turned my life around, not the piece of paper proclaiming me a 'Bachelor of Arts with Honours'.

 

Edited October 24, 2018 by AyrTroopMajor

[DA Baracus]

Aye but for many jobs you need the qualification. There are very few good paying jobs that you can get without one, and there are very few, if any, in your field of interest (i.e. doing what you are interested in each day, not having for example an admin job in said industry) you can get without a qualification.

As you say, it's down to each person's choice. A lot to think about!

I wish I never had to work ever again, but sadly that will never happen!

[Guest]

Cheers for the replies, everyone. It's greatly appreciated.

Aye, Open University is definitely something I am going to consider should I decide to leave "traditional uni". I definitely think I'm academically capable of getting a good degree when I'm in the right frame of mind, as I was able to get A's throughout my HND (College is a piece of piss compared to University, I know). 

I'm not particularly sure whether I would decide to study full time and keep working at my current part time job, or try to find a decent full time job and study part time when I feel ready to tackle it. I've not really looked into the technicalities of transferring credits over etc, but I imagine that my HND would allow me to enrol at a later stage in the course and save time, as Rowan says. 

Regardless, I reckon that a change of scenery/fresh start can do me good, but I have a meeting with an adviser at Uni on Friday, to assess my options going forward with my mental health in mind. 

Here's to hopefully a brighter future!

Edited October 24, 2018 by Guest

[Scary Bear]

Best therapy for me - a walk in the woods.

“Get off the road!”

Looks like hobbit country.

[Scary Bear]

Not really sure how I'm going to structure this. Chances are it will turn into some long, incoherent mess of a post, but I feel that I need to express my thoughts somehow.
Last year I took a year off university due to underlying issues with depression and anxiety. I had these issues for years beforehand and  I hadn't mentioned this to anyone until just prior to taking the year off. My thinking behind it was that it would allow me the breathing space to focus on my mental health without the added pressure of academic work. In essence, take the year out to "recover".  Shortly after taking the year out, things were going fairly well. I had a few meetings with my GP and even though I did feel extremely uncomfortable trying to tell her what was wrong with me, I did feel a sense of relief to at least express  some of my problems to someone as opposed to bottling it up. I undertook some cognitive behavioural therapy and that was decent, too.
However, I pretty much stopped it all after a couple of months, naively thinking that all was better, and I would manage to tackle any future issues (including returning to university). In reality, I was pretty much lying to myself and my GP the whole time. Whilst I was able to express some of what I was feeling, I probably didn't reveal the true extent of my issues and I probably didn't make the most of what was available to me, which I regret. 
Fast forward to today, and I am back at square one. I struggle to get out of bed in the morning (or go to sleep for that matter), I have absolutely no self esteem and my social life is non-existent.  I have people in my life that I would consider friends, but I think they would only see me as an acquaintance, and I have not been in a serious relationship in my entire life (which I am rather embarrassed about at 22 years old). I feel like I am no one's "first choice" in terms of doing things socially and that is not doing me any favours confidence-wise. Since returning to university last month my attendance has been fucking atrocious,  and I can't  seem to motivate myself to leave the house. The idea of travelling for an hour and half  to get to uni, to sit in a lecture theatre or somewhere on campus on my own all day does not sound appealing whatsoever. Coursework is due very soon and there is no chance I am finishing any of it-  I am seriously considering the idea of quitting Uni for good and try to find a full time job related to my HND-  Whether or not this would help the situation regarding my mental health, however, is an unanswerable question at this point. 
Basically, things are on a real downward spiral right now. I've always believed that I wouldn't even entertain the prospect of literally ending it all, and no effort has been made to do so. I keep telling myself that I couldn't do such a thing to those who care about me- I feel really lucky to have grown up in a supportive family. This point still stands, but I am getting worried at how things are transpiring and with each passing day, unhealthier thoughts are starting to creep into my mind.  I feel that at some point I'll need to return to my GP, but expressing my feelings on a Scottish football forum is at least a start.

I’m assuming that when you left uni for a year you lost contact with classmates? When you went back you had a whole new class of people who you didn’t know? That is just going to isolate you unless you can make friends. The travelling probably isn’t helping either.

University can be good but I liked living in the Halls of Residence. That gave you a chance to meet people who you could then go on go share flats with. If you are travelling from home I can’t see that being nearly as much fun.

Hope your mental health improves.

[Raidernation]

Well f**k it! Nearly 3 years sober and for some reason I fell into a really dark place so I drank, got more depressed, drank more and eventually realized I needed to go to hospital. Drink drive limit here is 0.08 something, I was over .400 and still sensible enough to admit myself to hospital and be conscious and pretty clear about what was going on, not suicidal but just not caring a f**k.
So I have just spent 6 days in a mental health care ward at hospital as a voluntary admission.
Discharged on Monday, finally with some meds because I now have insurance through work.
Couple of rough days back at school but today was great because my daughter , a nurse and her pal a Rn suggested s modified way of taking the meds.
Also getting counseling and going to get a psychiatrist or psych nurse as well once as week so maybe out of something bad something good will come.

[D.A.F.C]

Having a bad situation at work for a year or so now. Since I started and moved from a job that didn’t end well I’ve always tried my best but it seems that it upsets people and when the supervisor changed a few years back it got worse. It’s a stressful place due to problems that our out with our control and we get asked to work constant overtime. Also if you work hard you just get more and more hard projects without training or resources. Twice I’ve asked to get moved off what I was doing and got told if you don’t like it piss off. Then the supervisor and others started making me feel like my job was insecure and playing games yet when it comes to appraisals it’s a different story. I started writing it all down and there’s a clear pattern coming from him and two or three of his pals he sits with at break, others pick up on it but it’s just occasional jibes. When a family member was really ill it started to get to me and I started to feel like I wasn’t enjoying anything anymore having to face that bs eight hours a day.

Its a really weird situation that one minute I’m hearing that my heads going to get chopped off then told I’m in the top two employees in the department.

I discussed it at length with someone who said it sounds like your work ethic and personality is making a few look bad as they have openly admitted they are fleecing overtime to pay the bills. Fair enough but don’t attack me for doing more in five than they do in seven.

Its the second job where I’ve enjoyed it but felt isolated and attacked just for being myself and hard working and conscientious. I know I need to move on but for the last year or so it’s been making me feel shit and so messed up with mixed signals.  Been close to going to hr once but backed out as I don’t really trust, they are there for the company really.

Trying to start to look for something else or training in the new year, it’s a shame because I like the work and what I do but it’s so weird. Maybe just tying to ignore it but almost everyday some drama kicks off or I see unfairness. 

Have been annoying on here recently as well, I’m just raging about it and come on here angry.

 

[Brother Blades]

Having a bad situation at work for a year or so now. Since I started and moved from a job that didn’t end well I’ve always tried my best but it seems that it upsets people and when the supervisor changed a few years back it got worse. It’s a stressful place due to problems that our out with our control and we get asked to work constant overtime. Also if you work hard you just get more and more hard projects without training or resources. Twice I’ve asked to get moved off what I was doing and got told if you don’t like it piss off. Then the supervisor and others started making me feel like my job was insecure and playing games yet when it comes to appraisals it’s a different story. I started writing it all down and there’s a clear pattern coming from him and two or three of his pals he sits with at break, others pick up on it but it’s just occasional jibes. When a family member was really ill it started to get to me and I started to feel like I wasn’t enjoying anything anymore having to face that bs eight hours a day.
Its a really weird situation that one minute I’m hearing that my heads going to get chopped off then told I’m in the top two employees in the department.
I discussed it at length with someone who said it sounds like your work ethic and personality is making a few look bad as they have openly admitted they are fleecing overtime to pay the bills. Fair enough but don’t attack me for doing more in five than they do in seven.
Its the second job where I’ve enjoyed it but felt isolated and attacked just for being myself and hard working and conscientious. I know I need to move on but for the last year or so it’s been making me feel shit and so messed up with mixed signals.  Been close to going to hr once but backed out as I don’t really trust, they are there for the company really.
Trying to start to look for something else or training in the new year, it’s a shame because I like the work and what I do but it’s so weird. Maybe just tying to ignore it but almost everyday some drama kicks off or I see unfairness. 
Have been annoying on here recently as well, I’m just raging about it and come on here angry.
 

Work can be so shit, full of cliques etc. Without being too personal, what is it you do?

[D.A.F.C]

Can't really go into it but I agree about hr. Honestly it would be better if I was a total waster to fit in but I can't do that as it's not in my nature. Far too political and broken for me to fix. Moving on has to be the positive thing as on paper everything is rosy.

[101]

On 24/10/2018 at 17:52, KezzaRover said:

Cheers for the replies, everyone. It's greatly appreciated.

Aye, Open University is definitely something I am going to consider should I decide to leave "traditional uni". I definitely think I'm academically capable of getting a good degree when I'm in the right frame of mind, as I was able to get A's throughout my HND (College is a piece of piss compared to University, I know). 

I'm not particularly sure whether I would decide to study full time and keep working at my current part time job, or try to find a decent full time job and study part time when I feel ready to tackle it. I've not really looked into the technicalities of transferring credits over etc, but I imagine that my HND would allow me to enrol at a later stage in the course and save time, as Rowan says. 

Regardless, I reckon that a change of scenery/fresh start can do me good, but I have a meeting with an adviser at Uni on Friday, to assess my options going forward with my mental health in mind. 

Here's to hopefully a brighter future!

Hope the advisor at Uni is a great first step for you!

I didn't have as hard a time as you are having but I left the world of academia at 19 when I decided it really wasn't for me and 3 years later it seems to be going alright so there are plenty options out there for you Kezza! If you even need a chat send me a PM.

[GordonS]

7 hours ago, MixuFixit said:

Doesn't sound like you have a union D.A.F.C in which case absolutely do not go near HR, they'll only act to protect company from you.

Couldn't agree more. I don't think I've ever known anyone who works in HR who wasn't deep-down a dead-eyed shark. They are management in sheep's clothing. Never, ever trust them.

[supermik]

2 hours ago, GordonS said:

Couldn't agree more. I don't think I've ever known anyone who works in HR who wasn't deep-down a dead-eyed shark. They are management in sheep's clothing. Never, ever trust them.

My cousins wife is the head of HR for a mahoosive company. I done a job for him once. She sat at the kitchen table, never said a word to me, just stared at me the whole time. She has never visited his parents in the last 10 years!

[GordonS]

15 hours ago, supermik said:

My cousins wife is the head of HR for a mahoosive company. I done a job for him once. She sat at the kitchen table, never said a word to me, just stared at me the whole time. She has never visited his parents in the last 10 years!

Sounds about right.

[AMMjag]

On 22/10/2018 at 20:43, AMMjag said:

Probably the time off work that left me with nothing to do except overthink things made it infinitely worse. I'm still a bit sad about the whole thing but a day back at work with a pile of stuff to do and seeing friendly faces has helped no end. 

To add to this, my ex has recently started seeing another guy, which I completely accept and can understand as we were both struggling with the break up and needed to try things to be able to help us move on. 

But the biggest comfort for me was still being able to talk to her as a friend since we got on so well on that basis. Since she's started seeing someone else I'm getting the short shrift now which is completely understandable, but it's crushing me. I made a bit of an arse of myself laying all my feelings down on the table to her but I've only backed myself into a corner where I just can't talk to her anymore. I lost regular contact with most of my mates the last year or two as they're all settling down; she was my best friend and it just feels like a massive void as I feel pretty isolated now. 

Have went on a couple of dates myself but just don't have the energy to put the effort into it right now. Only plan I have is to wire in at work and go to the gym and get myself in good shape which is helping me just now, but I'm in constant dread of the day where she moves into a genuine relationship with this guy setting me right back. 

We broke up mutually for all the right reasons and ended on good terms, but I'm left completely alone to deal with all these emotions and can only hope they die down soon. 

Edited November 5, 2018 by AMMjag

[Stellaboz]

Personally, I'd cut all ties with your ex and focus on you, hitting the gym and getting into good routines. Relationships and sex aren't the be all and end all. Single life can be phenomenal if you adjust your mindset.

[SweeperDee]

To add to this, my ex has recently started seeing another guy, which I completely accept and can understand as we were both struggling with the break up and needed to try things to be able to help us move on. 
But the biggest comfort for me was still being able to talk to her as a friend since we got on so well on that basis. Since she's started seeing someone else I'm getting the short shrift now which is completely understandable, but it's crushing me. I made a bit of an arse of myself laying all my feelings down on the table to her but I've only backed myself into a corner where I just can't talk to her anymore. I lost regular contact with most of my mates the last year or two as they're all settling down; she was my best friend and it just feels like a massive void as I feel pretty isolated now. 
Have went on a couple of dates myself but just don't have the energy to put the effort into it right now. Only plan I have is to wire in at work and go to the gym and get myself in good shape which is helping me just now, but I'm in constant dread of the day where she moves into a genuine relationship with this guy setting me right back. 
We broke up mutually for all the right reasons and ended on good terms, but I'm left completely alone to deal with all these emotions and can only hope they die down soon. 

I can only echo what’s just been stated about your ex; try, as hard as I know it is, to clear her out of your mind and your life. Nothing good ever comes from ruminating about them as a person, and what could have been. It can make you feel absolutely sick, but it’s the best for YOU that you need to worry about now.

[Guest JTS98]

6 hours ago, AMMjag said:

To add to this, my ex has recently started seeing another guy, which I completely accept and can understand as we were both struggling with the break up and needed to try things to be able to help us move on. 

But the biggest comfort for me was still being able to talk to her as a friend since we got on so well on that basis. Since she's started seeing someone else I'm getting the short shrift now which is completely understandable, but it's crushing me. I made a bit of an arse of myself laying all my feelings down on the table to her but I've only backed myself into a corner where I just can't talk to her anymore. I lost regular contact with most of my mates the last year or two as they're all settling down; she was my best friend and it just feels like a massive void as I feel pretty isolated now. 

Have went on a couple of dates myself but just don't have the energy to put the effort into it right now. Only plan I have is to wire in at work and go to the gym and get myself in good shape which is helping me just now, but I'm in constant dread of the day where she moves into a genuine relationship with this guy setting me right back. 

We broke up mutually for all the right reasons and ended on good terms, but I'm left completely alone to deal with all these emotions and can only hope they die down soon. 

A sore one, and no mistake.

But the advice others have chucked in already is good. Concentrate on yourself and on things you enjoy.

If you meet someone nice, that's great. But in your situation, I wouldn't be looking for it. Go for a bit of you time instead. You don't have to be seeing someone because she is. Focus on enjoying the things you like doing. In time something will come along.

[Bert Raccoon]

10 hours ago, AMMjag said:

To add to this, my ex has recently started seeing another guy, which I completely accept and can understand as we were both struggling with the break up and needed to try things to be able to help us move on. 

But the biggest comfort for me was still being able to talk to her as a friend since we got on so well on that basis. Since she's started seeing someone else I'm getting the short shrift now which is completely understandable, but it's crushing me. I made a bit of an arse of myself laying all my feelings down on the table to her but I've only backed myself into a corner where I just can't talk to her anymore. I lost regular contact with most of my mates the last year or two as they're all settling down; she was my best friend and it just feels like a massive void as I feel pretty isolated now. 

Have went on a couple of dates myself but just don't have the energy to put the effort into it right now. Only plan I have is to wire in at work and go to the gym and get myself in good shape which is helping me just now, but I'm in constant dread of the day where she moves into a genuine relationship with this guy setting me right back. 

We broke up mutually for all the right reasons and ended on good terms, but I'm left completely alone to deal with all these emotions and can only hope they die down soon. 

I'm in a very similar situation to yourself, I split up with my girlfriend of four years a few months ago and it hurt like hell.  I thought through time we'd end up back together but just had to face that it's over.  I just try to keep busy, doing overtime, going to the gym and spending time with mates at the weekend. I miss her and I probably always will but it gets better. You'll have your good days and bad days but you just have to push through and in time you will be happy again. Best of luck.

Edited November 5, 2018 by Bert Raccoon

[AMMjag]

Cheers lads

[Stellaboz]

We can only do so much for people G Man, even our parents. I dunno how to help I'm afraid, just do what you feel is right and don't let it all get on top of you, you're allowed to still live your own life.