Depression

[RH33]

What I was trying to say but not very well with crisis team is that you might have try few services/people/teams/strategies before you find the ones that work for you.

Which is difficult as you only find you need them when things are tough enough without then trying to find and filter support.

Ive the best GP surgery which is good start. They insist I’m in once a month rather than simply dishing out medication on repeat script. 

[Guest Moomintroll]

Cheers guys, it’s not my first attempt and I’m rubbish at it so I’m still here! I’ve been dealing with it for 20years but now and then it takes a grip. Men have higher ‘success’ rates as they take the less reversible options.
I’d not normally have said anything on here, I’ve always been open about having issues on this thread but self harm stuff I wouldn’t normally broadcast but want the poster  or anyone else to know that suicidal thoughts as lonely and as terrifiying as they are , he isn’t only one out there that’s had/having them.
 I’m also always here for anyone that wants the female take on things. Mental health not sex!! Not that half of you get any anyway!

Half of us? Think you are seriously overestimating our success rate there Rowan. Just remember we are all here for each other as the most dysfunctional "family" of all time. Any time you are feeling it's getting too much, get on this thread and vent, there will always be someone here to listen and make some frankly inappropriate statements that really shouldnt help but will. If all else fails remember Div can't afford to lose many more members so stay strong.

[RH33]

2 minutes ago, Moomintroll said:

4 hours ago, Rowan said:

Cheers guys, it’s not my first attempt and I’m rubbish at it so I’m still here! I’ve been dealing with it for 20years but now and then it takes a grip. Men have higher ‘success’ rates as they take the less reversible options.
I’d not normally have said anything on here, I’ve always been open about having issues on this thread but self harm stuff I wouldn’t normally broadcast but want the poster  or anyone else to know that suicidal thoughts as lonely and as terrifiying as they are , he isn’t only one out there that’s had/having them.
 I’m also always here for anyone that wants the female take on things. Mental health not sex!! Not that half of you get any anyway!

Half of us? Think you are seriously overestimating our success rate there Rowan. Just remember we are all here for each other as the most dysfunctional "family" of all time. Any time you are feeling it's getting too much, get on this thread and vent, there will always be someone here to listen and make some frankly inappropriate statements that really shouldnt help but will. If all else fails remember Div can't afford to lose many more members so stay strong.

@Div can’t afford to loose his dog sitter lol

[Bert Raccoon]

Not a big of posting links from The Sun but this story hit home for me. Personally I've had a rough time in the last few months with the breakdown of a relationship but bottling things up gets us nowhere and you should always reach out to someone, whether it be family, friends or even someone on here. I'd say I'm always open to chatting if anyone needs to talk.

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.thescottishsun.co.uk/news/3366868/christian-nade-hearts-suicide-bid-advice-footballers-uk/amp/

[AMMjag]

I've never even thought about attempting suicide, but as someone mentioned maybe a page or two ago I think most come to an understanding at one point or another as to why people do. 

I'm a bit embarrassed to post it in comparison with other people's problems on here but I recently came out of my first serious relationship. We both agreed at the time it was for the best as we'd lost feelings for one another towards the end, but facing up to being alone and having to start from scratch in finding and building a happy relationship again with someone else is daunting. I don't know if what I'm badly missing is either her or the comfort of the relationship but either way it forces you to question yourself as a person and sometimes you can't accept the realities without beating yourself up. It's affecting my sleep and my diet too. 

I'm back to work tomorrow after two week's holiday in a job that involves helping members of public with things like social security and immigration. Some of these people are in grim situations which in a crude way I'm hoping can slap me over the face with a sense of perspective.

[Raidernation]

Do not ever put yourself down AAM, I really didn’t think I had depression for many years because I was always the happy teacher

[RH33]

6 hours ago, AMMjag said:

I've never even thought about attempting suicide, but as someone mentioned maybe a page or two ago I think most come to an understanding at one point or another as to why people do. 

I'm a bit embarrassed to post it in comparison with other people's problems on here but I recently came out of my first serious relationship. We both agreed at the time it was for the best as we'd lost feelings for one another towards the end, but facing up to being alone and having to start from scratch in finding and building a happy relationship again with someone else is daunting. I don't know if what I'm badly missing is either her or the comfort of the relationship but either way it forces you to question yourself as a person and sometimes you can't accept the realities without beating yourself up. It's affecting my sleep and my diet too. 

I'm back to work tomorrow after two week's holiday in a job that involves helping members of public with things like social security and immigration. Some of these people are in grim situations which in a crude way I'm hoping can slap me over the face with a sense of perspective.

Don’t compare yourself with others on the thread.  Everybody has challenges in life that can impact our mental health. The great thing about this thread is that it’s one which is generally free from judgement and the usual nonsense of p&b. 

The end of a relationship is a difficult time even if you both felt it was for the best. 

[Stellaboz]

As above, every situation is different. It's impossible to compare any 2 persons troubles.

Also, being out with relationship isn't the worst thing in the world. Seriously. If you're able to embrace the absolute freedom you get with it, life can be tremendous.

[AMMjag]

Probably the time off work that left me with nothing to do except overthink things made it infinitely worse. I'm still a bit sad about the whole thing but a day back at work with a pile of stuff to do and seeing friendly faces has helped no end. 

[NJ2]

Probably the time off work that left me with nothing to do except overthink things made it infinitely worse. I'm still a bit sad about the whole thing but a day back at work with a pile of stuff to do and seeing friendly faces has helped no end. 

Been where you are AMM and it’s not great but gets easier. You’ll be thinking about the good times, naturally, but remember the shite times as well because they are just as relevant, if not more so. You’ll find someone where those shite times will be far less regular and the good times better and, slowly, you’ll get used to your own company as well though so don’t worry about being lonely - you can be live with someone and feel lonely.

[Poet of the Macabre]

A very sobering few pages guys but I'm glad everyone has been able to let others know about what they're going through. Even if it is some strangers on the internet.

I've had a lot of low moments in recent years but I've never seriously contemplated ending my life. I'm very grateful I've never reached that point but can totally understand how people get there.

[Poet of the Macabre]

I'm also concerned that so many Pars fans seem to be suffering from a whole range of issues. Answers on a postcard if this is a Fife-based thing or supporting the finest in our fair Kingdom.

[Guest JTS98]

On 10/21/2018 at 14:31, Rowan said:

Please try and reach out and not act on the suicidal thoughts. Samaratains are meant to be very good. I say this having been carted into a&e three weeks ago having made an attempt.

Have you been referred to a pain management clinic? 

You’re area may have a crisis team who will work with you short term to get you through the darkest points but your gp if first point contact.

I've started pain management work this week. A lot of it is common sense, but some of it is based around specific exercise etc.

I think there are going to be quite big lifestyle changes. I'm relatively healthy and pretty fit in general, but I think I'll become one of these boring b*****ds who never drinks and bores everyone to tears with their annoying lifestyle changes. Coffee, bevvy and fatty foods will be out, I think.

I've been doing some really simple breathing exercises four times a day. Unbelievable how good that feels.

[RH33]

I find dyaphramatic breathing good if im agitated. 

[Guest]

Not really sure how I'm going to structure this. Chances are it will turn into some long, incoherent mess of a post, but I feel that I need to express my thoughts somehow.

Last year I took a year off university due to underlying issues with depression and anxiety. I had these issues for years beforehand and  I hadn't mentioned this to anyone until just prior to taking the year off. My thinking behind it was that it would allow me the breathing space to focus on my mental health without the added pressure of academic work. In essence, take the year out to "recover".  Shortly after taking the year out, things were going fairly well. I had a few meetings with my GP and even though I did feel extremely uncomfortable trying to tell her what was wrong with me, I did feel a sense of relief to at least express  some of my problems to someone as opposed to bottling it up. I undertook some cognitive behavioural therapy and that was decent, too.

However, I pretty much stopped it all after a couple of months, naively thinking that all was better, and I would manage to tackle any future issues (including returning to university). In reality, I was pretty much lying to myself and my GP the whole time. Whilst I was able to express some of what I was feeling, I probably didn't reveal the true extent of my issues and I probably didn't make the most of what was available to me, which I regret. 

Fast forward to today, and I am back at square one. I struggle to get out of bed in the morning (or go to sleep for that matter), I have absolutely no self esteem and my social life is non-existent.  I have people in my life that I would consider friends, but I think they would only see me as an acquaintance, and I have not been in a serious relationship in my entire life (which I am rather embarrassed about at 22 years old). I feel like I am no one's "first choice" in terms of doing things socially and that is not doing me any favours confidence-wise. Since returning to university last month my attendance has been fucking atrocious,  and I can't  seem to motivate myself to leave the house. The idea of travelling for an hour and half  to get to uni, to sit in a lecture theatre or somewhere on campus on my own all day does not sound appealing whatsoever. Coursework is due very soon and there is no chance I am finishing any of it-  I am seriously considering the idea of quitting Uni for good and try to find a full time job related to my HND-  Whether or not this would help the situation regarding my mental health, however, is an unanswerable question at this point. 

Basically, things are on a real downward spiral right now. I've always believed that I wouldn't even entertain the prospect of literally ending it all, and no effort has been made to do so. I keep telling myself that I couldn't do such a thing to those who care about me- I feel really lucky to have grown up in a supportive family. This point still stands, but I am getting worried at how things are transpiring and with each passing day, unhealthier thoughts are starting to creep into my mind.  I feel that at some point I'll need to return to my GP, but expressing my feelings on a Scottish football forum is at least a start.

[AsimButtHitsASix]

I hope Kezza, in no way, takes this as any kind of slight toward him and I assure him it's entirely not "victim blaming" or "I told you so" or anything of the sort but more of a warning, of sorts, to anyone else with mental health problems. His post has just reminded me of something. Kezza's done braw stuff going to this GP and seeking help and talking about it publicly here.

I work in mental health and mental health services are stretched t h i n. The Mental Health Trust I work in covers a population of just under 1,000,000 but has the budget that an urgent care or "non-mental" health trust would laugh out of the building for covering 10% of that population. No one knows how useless and slow to react crisis teams are more than crisis teams. Some of the professionals there liken it to being a battlefield medic and having to really pick and choose who you treat because you can't cover it all.

One of the biggest problems the trust I'm in faces in patients who are unaware that mental health isn't like a broken leg. It's not "healed and yer ok". It can be for some people and for others it's a constant, lifelong battle and for others it comes and goes. No matter which of these groups you fall into I strongly urge you to continue with yer CBT or yer meds even when yer long sure you're past the need. Unsurprisingly most of our patients we speak to are ones we hear from on the regular but, usually, it's after periods of quiet. We have one patient, John, who we can set our calendars by, will call up every four months because, once his prescription is over, he doesn't bother getting his repeat because he feels better then he crashes again.

You, whoever you may be, might be at the right time to stop treatment and no one will know that better than yourself but don't make that decision on your own. Speak to health professionals, hold nothing back, and seek reassurances you can "jump back in" to the treatment that was working if leaving it does cause issues.

[RH33]

5 hours ago, KezzaRover said:

Not really sure how I'm going to structure this. Chances are it will turn into some long, incoherent mess of a post, but I feel that I need to express my thoughts somehow.

Last year I took a year off university due to underlying issues with depression and anxiety. I had these issues for years beforehand and  I hadn't mentioned this to anyone until just prior to taking the year off. My thinking behind it was that it would allow me the breathing space to focus on my mental health without the added pressure of academic work. In essence, take the year out to "recover".  Shortly after taking the year out, things were going fairly well. I had a few meetings with my GP and even though I did feel extremely uncomfortable trying to tell her what was wrong with me, I did feel a sense of relief to at least express  some of my problems to someone as opposed to bottling it up. I undertook some cognitive behavioural therapy and that was decent, too.

However, I pretty much stopped it all after a couple of months, naively thinking that all was better, and I would manage to tackle any future issues (including returning to university). In reality, I was pretty much lying to myself and my GP the whole time. Whilst I was able to express some of what I was feeling, I probably didn't reveal the true extent of my issues and I probably didn't make the most of what was available to me, which I regret. 

Fast forward to today, and I am back at square one. I struggle to get out of bed in the morning (or go to sleep for that matter), I have absolutely no self esteem and my social life is non-existent.  I have people in my life that I would consider friends, but I think they would only see me as an acquaintance, and I have not been in a serious relationship in my entire life (which I am rather embarrassed about at 22 years old). I feel like I am no one's "first choice" in terms of doing things socially and that is not doing me any favours confidence-wise. Since returning to university last month my attendance has been fucking atrocious,  and I can't  seem to motivate myself to leave the house. The idea of travelling for an hour and half  to get to uni, to sit in a lecture theatre or somewhere on campus on my own all day does not sound appealing whatsoever. Coursework is due very soon and there is no chance I am finishing any of it-  I am seriously considering the idea of quitting Uni for good and try to find a full time job related to my HND-  Whether or not this would help the situation regarding my mental health, however, is an unanswerable question at this point. 

Basically, things are on a real downward spiral right now. I've always believed that I wouldn't even entertain the prospect of literally ending it all, and no effort has been made to do so. I keep telling myself that I couldn't do such a thing to those who care about me- I feel really lucky to have grown up in a supportive family. This point still stands, but I am getting worried at how things are transpiring and with each passing day, unhealthier thoughts are starting to creep into my mind.  I feel that at some point I'll need to return to my GP, but expressing my feelings on a Scottish football forum is at least a start.

If uni is one of the things significantly impacting your health then I’d advise you walk away. I did for similar reasons when I was 22. If you want or need the degree status for employment and it’s the social anxiety rather than the work that’s an issue,  look at the Open Uni. I transferred my credits there and got my degree in July. You’d probably only need a couple of modules if you already have an HND.

I’d also suggest getting back to the GP pronto and also asking to be rereferred to CBT if you found it helpful. It’s pretty common that people have few sessions, feel better and leave only to need to go back.

I’d also suggest speaking to adviser of studies before esssys start piling on and most uni’s have a councilling service which may be quicker to access than nhs services.

[RH33]

3 hours ago, AsimButtHitsASix said:

I hope Kezza, in no way, takes this as any kind of slight toward him and I assure him it's entirely not "victim blaming" or "I told you so" or anything of the sort but more of a warning, of sorts, to anyone else with mental health problems. His post has just reminded me of something. Kezza's done braw stuff going to this GP and seeking help and talking about it publicly here.

I work in mental health and mental health services are stretched t h i n. The Mental Health Trust I work in covers a population of just under 1,000,000 but has the budget that an urgent care or "non-mental" health trust would laugh out of the building for covering 10% of that population. No one knows how useless and slow to react crisis teams are more than crisis teams. Some of the professionals there liken it to being a battlefield medic and having to really pick and choose who you treat because you can't cover it all.

One of the biggest problems the trust I'm in faces in patients who are unaware that mental health isn't like a broken leg. It's not "healed and yer ok". It can be for some people and for others it's a constant, lifelong battle and for others it comes and goes. No matter which of these groups you fall into I strongly urge you to continue with yer CBT or yer meds even when yer long sure you're past the need. Unsurprisingly most of our patients we speak to are ones we hear from on the regular but, usually, it's after periods of quiet. We have one patient, John, who we can set our calendars by, will call up every four months because, once his prescription is over, he doesn't bother getting his repeat because he feels better then he crashes again.

You, whoever you may be, might be at the right time to stop treatment and no one will know that better than yourself but don't make that decision on your own. Speak to health professionals, hold nothing back, and seek reassurances you can "jump back in" to the treatment that was working if leaving it does cause issues.

I rarely post more than photos of the kids on FB but on World Mental Health day there was lots of people sharing well meaning posts about seeking help etc.

I’ve had issues for 20 years now and always will. But I’m educated on my condition, take my meds and by and large function not bad.Very few of well meaning actually been in the system. So I injected a dose of reality. 

The system is at breaking point. There are not the beds nor the staff to provide effective services. Increases in elderly and dementia have added even more strain.

The demand place on it by people with addiction issues is also substantial.

Crisis teams don’t work for me as you have deal with different person everyday and that makes me worse. Plus a lot time they’re really just trying make sure person is med compliant. While I think they’re utterly useless I acknowledge they are effective for others.

The waiting times for CBT or other therapy is months of not well over a year. And there’s no guarantee that you’ll be able to establish a therapeutic relationship with whom ever you’re allocated.

Those in the field are doing best the hands tied behind backs.

[AyrTroopMajor]

On 23/10/2018 at 01:31, KezzaRover said:

Not really sure how I'm going to structure this. Chances are it will turn into some long, incoherent mess of a post, but I feel that I need to express my thoughts somehow.

Last year I took a year off university due to underlying issues with depression and anxiety. I had these issues for years beforehand and  I hadn't mentioned this to anyone until just prior to taking the year off. My thinking behind it was that it would allow me the breathing space to focus on my mental health without the added pressure of academic work. In essence, take the year out to "recover".  Shortly after taking the year out, things were going fairly well. I had a few meetings with my GP and even though I did feel extremely uncomfortable trying to tell her what was wrong with me, I did feel a sense of relief to at least express  some of my problems to someone as opposed to bottling it up. I undertook some cognitive behavioural therapy and that was decent, too.

However, I pretty much stopped it all after a couple of months, naively thinking that all was better, and I would manage to tackle any future issues (including returning to university). In reality, I was pretty much lying to myself and my GP the whole time. Whilst I was able to express some of what I was feeling, I probably didn't reveal the true extent of my issues and I probably didn't make the most of what was available to me, which I regret. 

Fast forward to today, and I am back at square one. I struggle to get out of bed in the morning (or go to sleep for that matter), I have absolutely no self esteem and my social life is non-existent.  I have people in my life that I would consider friends, but I think they would only see me as an acquaintance, and I have not been in a serious relationship in my entire life (which I am rather embarrassed about at 22 years old). I feel like I am no one's "first choice" in terms of doing things socially and that is not doing me any favours confidence-wise. Since returning to university last month my attendance has been fucking atrocious,  and I can't  seem to motivate myself to leave the house. The idea of travelling for an hour and half  to get to uni, to sit in a lecture theatre or somewhere on campus on my own all day does not sound appealing whatsoever. Coursework is due very soon and there is no chance I am finishing any of it-  I am seriously considering the idea of quitting Uni for good and try to find a full time job related to my HND-  Whether or not this would help the situation regarding my mental health, however, is an unanswerable question at this point. 

Basically, things are on a real downward spiral right now. I've always believed that I wouldn't even entertain the prospect of literally ending it all, and no effort has been made to do so. I keep telling myself that I couldn't do such a thing to those who care about me- I feel really lucky to have grown up in a supportive family. This point still stands, but I am getting worried at how things are transpiring and with each passing day, unhealthier thoughts are starting to creep into my mind.  I feel that at some point I'll need to return to my GP, but expressing my feelings on a Scottish football forum is at least a start.

An hour and a half of travel and sitting alone at Uni is not going to do anything positive for your mental health, if that is one of the main barriers that you are facing then I would absolutely advise you to walk away and never look back. Uni can be an absolutely great experience for some and horrific for others. It's not for everybody and I know from experience that travelling there and back every day is a soul-sapping experience. 

As has already been suggested, try the Open University if you are determined to continue down the academic route, or it may be better to just dive head first into the world of employment. Brand new start, brand new people etc, it can do wonders for you.

ETA: I went through school and Uni without ever having a serious relationship or any relationship for that matter. When I got my first permanent job at 22 years old, I met my first girlfriend and second girlfriend (awkward office btw, holy f**k) and now live with my second girlfriend and have a new puppy. Life just fell into place. Don't doubt that it can happen to you too.

Edited October 24, 2018 by AyrTroopMajor

[DA Baracus]

8 minutes ago, AyrTroopMajor said:

An hour and a half of travel and sitting alone at Uni is not going to do anything positive for your mental health, if that is one of the main barriers that you are facing then I would absolutely advise you to walk away and never look back. Uni can be an absolutely great experience for some and horrific for others. It's not for everybody and I know from experience that travelling there and back every day is a soul-sapping experience. 

As has already been suggested, try the Open University if you are determined to continue down the academic route, or it may be better to just dive head first into the world of employment. Brand new start, brand new people etc, it can do wonders for you.

ETA: I went through school and Uni without ever having a serious relationship or any relationship for that matter. When I got my first permanent job at 22 years old, I met my first girlfriend and second girlfriend (awkward office btw, holy f**k) and now live with my second girlfriend and have a new puppy. Life just fell into place. Don't doubt that it can happen to you too.

Not sure that's the best advice, as it will leave you severely limited in what you can do and almost certainly in a job you have zero passion for.