Depression

[Stellaboz]

You never came up with "Chris Maguire is a c**t"

Damn!

[Shandon Par]

22 hours ago, SweeperDee said:

I’m struggling to keep my mind occupied, in as much that unless I’m playing football, working, or out socialising, I’m completely devoid of any sort of positive emotion. It’s been a relatively hectic year so far, and I think it’s down to the fact that I can’t really seem to appreciate down-time like I used to. I need to be constantly stimulated by music if I’m out and about, otherwise I just get bored of existing. This has an impact on others around me because from the outside looking in I must look like an unapproachable, miserable c**t who just looks “done” with other people and just listens to music.

It’s definitely down, in some part, of just not being comfortable in my own head anymore, and that’s a red-flag for me if there ever was one.

All in all, I feel like I’m stuck in a loop whereby I need to be doing something (which isn’t always possible) to feel happy with existing.

Sounds similar to what I was like. Just doing stuff to avoid thinking or having to have meaningful conversations. 

Started going running without headphones now, or when walking the dog and making an effort just to have little interactions with folk helps me feel more connected to the world. 

 

[AL-FFC]

I struggle with opening up even as i type this, more recently i feel like breaking into tears for no reason.  I try to keep myself as occupied as i can but when i got home last time if it wasnt for deciding to decorate my kitchen i was struggling as i keep questioning my existence and  thinking wouldn't anyone care if i wasn't here.  I dont have much family and try to keep as close contacts with friends as i can but at the same time i have that inner part of me that wants to be alone and push people away but the same time i know thats the worst thing for me.  I had counselling a few years back and brought myself back from where i was then.

Feel most at ease with things when i am hillwalking but i go on my own just to get away from everything and one tbh,  My biggest battle day to day is trying not to break down in tears for no reason.

[gav-ffc]

On 07/10/2018 at 08:56, AL-FFC said:

I struggle with opening up even as i type this, more recently i feel like breaking into tears for no reason.  I try to keep myself as occupied as i can but when i got home last time if it wasnt for deciding to decorate my kitchen i was struggling as i keep questioning my existence and  thinking wouldn't anyone care if i wasn't here.  I dont have much family and try to keep as close contacts with friends as i can but at the same time i have that inner part of me that wants to be alone and push people away but the same time i know thats the worst thing for me.  I had counselling a few years back and brought myself back from where i was then.

Feel most at ease with things when i am hillwalking but i go on my own just to get away from everything and one tbh,  My biggest battle day to day is trying not to break down in tears for no reason.

Drop me a pm anytime.

[gav-ffc]

On 21/03/2018 at 17:20, gav-ffc said:

 

Follow up to this I’ve now been put on Sertaline 50mg for the foreseeable future. 4-6 weeks to take effect so will see how that goes and the fight goes on.

 

 

On 21/03/2018 at 20:30, johnnydun said:

Be careful with Sertraline mate, its a proper c**t to come off of. Really bad withdrawal.

 

Finally off it, had been put up to 100mg but i just could not deal with the headaches through the day and have decided to come off them slowly, the 100mg tablets allowed me to take one every 3 days or so and have now came off them all together. Can`t even mind when my last appointment was with the docs but I will wait and see if they phone about it. 

Noticed some other behaviours that I would rather not go into full details about on here (PM ME BBZ etc) but I have also reached out to an organisation to deal with this and trying to arrange a Spa day for me and the wife as we have not had much time to ourselves at all between my work and her college/work never mind never getting a break with the bairn but now her maw stays across the road we are hoping she will help us out a bit more (doubtful)

[Raidernation]

If I didn’t wake up tomorrow I’d be ok with that

[philpy]

I think the black dog has a kennel in the garden. I'm back to work on Monday but my anxiety is on overload. I can see the faces, and the "banter"... "How was your extended holiday" "enjoy your skive" the foreman being in the huff because he had to work 2 Saturdays in a row. . They don't know the dark days. I feel like dropping my colleague off on Monday, turning the car, heading home, shutting the curtains and pulling the duvet over my head.

[paranoid android]

14 hours ago, philpy said:

I think the black dog has a kennel in the garden. I'm back to work on Monday but my anxiety is on overload. I can see the faces, and the "banter"... "How was your extended holiday" "enjoy your skive" the foreman being in the huff because he had to work 2 Saturdays in a row. . They don't know the dark days. I feel like dropping my colleague off on Monday, turning the car, heading home, shutting the curtains and pulling the duvet over my head.

You never know, Philpy - it might not be that bad.  On the other hand, if your work situation is exacerbating your depression, it may be time to see if you can find something different.

Hope you're ok, man. 

[Guest Moomintroll]

I think the black dog has a kennel in the garden. I'm back to work on Monday but my anxiety is on overload. I can see the faces, and the "banter"... "How was your extended holiday" "enjoy your skive" the foreman being in the huff because he had to work 2 Saturdays in a row. . They don't know the dark days. I feel like dropping my colleague off on Monday, turning the car, heading home, shutting the curtains and pulling the duvet over my head.

philpy, I know the feeling, spent 4 months last year doing exactly that. I had to do it as I now realise I was utterly broken, you wont want to do it but get to the doctors and be brutally honest as to how you are feeling, it takes far too long but they will get you referred to a psychologist eventually and that is when you break yourself but in the medium term put yourself back together again with their help. It is not easy and it isn't pretty but I really believe if I didnt listen to my wife (after years of her trying to get through to me) and the experts then I wouldn't be on the planet today. Get help before it overwhelms you.

[philpy]

Cheers folks. Out for a walk at the moment, going home to get my tea them I'm drafting up a CV and cover letter for a job that's a five minute walk from the house. Slight drop in money, but not drastic. 12pm finish on a Friday! I think loneliness is playing a part in things as well. I do know a few folk over here, but socialising can be difficult, folk work shifts, folk have young families. I don't want to seem like a burden either.

[Priti priti priti Patel]

If you need any help with the cover letter, I am happy to help.

23 hours ago, paranoid android said:

You never know, Philpy - it might not be that bad.  On the other hand, if your work situation is exacerbating your depression, it may be time to see if you can find something different.

Hope you're ok, man. 

[paranoid android]

7 hours ago, Margaret Thatcher said:

If you need any help with the cover letter, I am happy to help.

Arf - made me laugh anaw! 

[DAFC.]

I don't know exactly what has caused a change in my circumstances, but I don't seem to be able to get motivated at all for anything, especially work. I don't particularly enjoy my work, but it's ok. I've never felt like this before though. My job involves visiting properties and interviewing people and I feel like I physically cannot do it. When I'm sitting in work I feel disoriented and sometimes get heart palpitations, especially when it's a loud office and there is lots of noise. Not just at work though, I've noticed recently even at the barbers I start getting anxious and sweaty when it's loud. I've also been getting sweaty palms and pins and needles in my hands when at work. Sometimes when I hear the door open from the counter staff I get so anxious in case someone is going to approach me. Not constant, but when it happens I feel like I'm trapped within myself and want to just run away for miles. Last night I was tempted to do just that. Enough is enough. I've booked an appointment with my GP tomorrow to get to the root of this. Like I say, I don't know where this has come from. I earn a decent enough living, have the most wonderful partner you could hope for and have a brilliant family around me. I have told nobody of this apart from a very close friend who went through something similar. Not sure exactly what you could classify this as but it's getting me down and I'm really struggling to keep up the brave face. I'll let all you guys know the outcome tomorrow x.  

[Tony Ferrino]

33 minutes ago, DAFC. said:

I don't know exactly what has caused a change in my circumstances, but I don't seem to be able to get motivated at all for anything, especially work. I don't particularly enjoy my work, but it's ok. I've never felt like this before though. My job involves visiting properties and interviewing people and I feel like I physically cannot do it. When I'm sitting in work I feel disoriented and sometimes get heart palpitations, especially when it's a loud office and there is lots of noise. Not just at work though, I've noticed recently even at the barbers I start getting anxious and sweaty when it's loud. I've also been getting sweaty palms and pins and needles in my hands when at work. Sometimes when I hear the door open from the counter staff I get so anxious in case someone is going to approach me. Not constant, but when it happens I feel like I'm trapped within myself and want to just run away for miles. Last night I was tempted to do just that. Enough is enough. I've booked an appointment with my GP tomorrow to get to the root of this. Like I say, I don't know where this has come from. I earn a decent enough living, have the most wonderful partner you could hope for and have a brilliant family around me. I have told nobody of this apart from a very close friend who went through something similar. Not sure exactly what you could classify this as but it's getting me down and I'm really struggling to keep up the brave face. I'll let all you guys know the outcome tomorrow x.  

Love the fact you can come on here and say that, and the best of luck to you.

Most people are good c***s.

[Richey Edwards]

I recently found myself having to distance myself from a now former friend (who happens to have some sort of narcissistic personality disorder) because she was just too difficult to be around and I no longer enjoyed her company.

She repeatedly sent me abusive text messages calling me a bad friend so I did not speak to her for about three weeks and yesterday I recieved further abuse for "doing nothing to save our friendship". What?! Isn't the whole idea behind friendship that it is a two way thing?

I'm not one to abandon people who are in need but I don't think there's anything I can do apart from severing all ties with her. I don't believe that she even wants to help herself. She is trapped in the cycle of treating people badly and then wondering why they don't want to spend time with her.

[AL-FFC]

26 minutes ago, Friedrich Nietzsche said:

I recently found myself having to distance myself from a now former friend (who happens to have some sort of narcissistic personality disorder) because she was just too difficult to be around and I no longer enjoyed her company.

She repeatedly sent me abusive text messages calling me a bad friend so I did not speak to her for about three weeks and yesterday I recieved further abuse for "doing nothing to save our friendship". What?! Isn't the whole idea behind friendship that it is a two way thing?

I'm not one to abandon people who are in need but I don't think there's anything I can do apart from severing all ties with her. I don't believe that she even wants to help herself. She is trapped in the cycle of treating people badly and then wondering why they don't want to spend time with her.

My ex was like that got to remember with narcissists they will manipulate anything to say and do to make it your the problem not them.  All mind games with them even have you doubting yourself to the point where you will question yourself. your doing the right thing by cutting them off as only way to deal with a narcissist is to steer clear and don't react to anything they say or do as they want the reaction from you.  Narcissist only see the world from their point of view they wont even see they have a problem its the rest of the world at fault not them.

[Richey Edwards]

20 minutes ago, AL-FFC said:

My ex was like that got to remember with narcissists they will manipulate anything to say and do to make it your the problem not them.  All mind games with them even have you doubting yourself to the point where you will question yourself. your doing the right thing by cutting them off as only way to deal with a narcissist is to steer clear and don't react to anything they say or do as they want the reaction from you.  Narcissist only see the world from their point of view they wont even see they have a problem its the rest of the world at fault not them.

Just for comparisons sake, I picked up another friend on Monday and we just went a drive and talked nonsense. I had not seen him for about three months prior to this (not for any particular reason, we were both just busy) and there was no mention of the fact that we hadn't seen each other for such a time. Why is this? Normal  functioning adults are capable of not seeing each other for a long time and then meeting again and getting on as if there was never any absence. Narcissists are parasitic and constantly need people to feed off of.

[Stellaboz]

I had a really sad dream last night involving my mum and dad and broke down crying this morning when I talked about it, or tried to.

I'll be totally fine for days then something small or silly will trigger all the tough feelings and past events back and I have to get the f**k away from everyone and be alone for a bit.

[bobbykdy]

3 hours ago, Stellaboz said:

I had a really sad dream last night involving my mum and dad and broke down crying this morning when I talked about it, or tried to.

I'll be totally fine for days then something small or silly will trigger all the tough feelings and past events back and I have to get the f**k away from everyone and be alone for a bit.

Completely understandable, you have had a hellish time of it losing both parents in a short space of time. You will learn to live with it eventually but in the meantime try not to stress too much as you can end up making yourself ill. Get out and do things you enjoy to try to take your mind off it. All the best.

[Richey Edwards]

3 hours ago, Stellaboz said:

I had a really sad dream last night involving my mum and dad and broke down crying this morning when I talked about it, or tried to.

I'll be totally fine for days then something small or silly will trigger all the tough feelings and past events back and I have to get the f**k away from everyone and be alone for a bit.

As bobbykdy said it's completely understandable and a normal reaction for such dreams to upset you.

Grieving is a process and it takes time, you'll have days were you are fine and days were seemingly minor things make you upset.

The important thing is not to consider breaking down and crying as a negative thing, because it's part of the process. If you need to cry or take some time to be alone then do that.

Take care, and if you ever want to talk about anything then feel free to message.