mizfit Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 I dunno what it is, but I’m starting to get pissed off at everyone just now. My mum is doing her usual whenever my sister is in a relationship, treating the partner like the son she never had, and ignoring my girlfriend, or comparing me to him repeatedly.My girlfriend’s family is alright for the most part, apart from her mental grandparents who are putting pressure (more so the granny) on forcing me to go on Boxing Day, when I’m apprehensive about it, mainly as I don’t want my day to be spent sitting in a strange house with awkward small talk. It just feels as usual like my choices and decisions are ignored whilst everyone tries to make my decisions in life for me. I’ve not snapped and got angry yet, instead just sitting in silence for long periods, but I know my tempers starting to show and I’m honestly dreading this holiday period. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayrmad Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 13 minutes ago, mizfit said: I dunno what it is, but I’m starting to get pissed off at everyone just now. My mum is doing her usual whenever my sister is in a relationship, treating the partner like the son she never had, and ignoring my girlfriend, or comparing me to him repeatedly. My girlfriend’s family is alright for the most part, apart from her mental grandparents who are putting pressure (more so the granny) on forcing me to go on Boxing Day, when I’m apprehensive about it, mainly as I don’t want my day to be spent sitting in a strange house with awkward small talk. It just feels as usual like my choices and decisions are ignored whilst everyone tries to make my decisions in life for me. I’ve not snapped and got angry yet, instead just sitting in silence for long periods, but I know my tempers starting to show and I’m honestly dreading this holiday period. I would get to the nearest mirror. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 8 minutes ago, ayrmad said: I would get to the nearest mirror. What do you mean by this? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayrmad Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 Just now, Bobby Skidmarks said: What do you mean by this? I'd be having a proper usually painful look at myself, the sort that most people don't ever do. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 1 minute ago, ayrmad said: I'd be having a proper usually painful look at myself, the sort that most people don't ever do. Take your air of superiority and attention seeking the f**k out of this thread please. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayrmad Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 1 minute ago, Rugster said: Take your air of superiority and attention seeking the f**k out of this thread please. It's neither, I've been that person loads of times, when I looked at myself properly I didn't like what I saw or who I was. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 3 minutes ago, ayrmad said: I'd be having a proper usually painful look at myself, the sort that most people don't ever do. The gambling addict with some solid life coaching here. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayrmad Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 2 minutes ago, Bobby Skidmarks said: The gambling addict with some solid life coaching here. That's correct, he's probably better listening to others that haven't been there though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 (edited) 3 minutes ago, ayrmad said: That's correct, he's probably better listening to others that haven't been there though. If you think combatting depression is to ‘take a good look at yourself’ then I’d suggest you haven’t been there. I think it’s best if this ends, this isn’t the place for your attention seeking. Edited December 22, 2017 by Bobby Skidmarks 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayrmad Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 7 minutes ago, Bobby Skidmarks said: If you think combatting depression is to ‘take a good look at yourself’ then I’d suggest you haven’t been there. I think it’s best if this ends, this isn’t the place for your attention seeking. Everyone should be looking at themselves on a regular basis and I've never posted on this thread for attention purposes ever. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 1 hour ago, ayrmad said: I would get to the nearest mirror. Unbelievable 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invergowrie arab Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 1 hour ago, mizfit said: I dunno what it is, but I’m starting to get pissed off at everyone just now. My mum is doing her usual whenever my sister is in a relationship, treating the partner like the son she never had, and ignoring my girlfriend, or comparing me to him repeatedly. My girlfriend’s family is alright for the most part, apart from her mental grandparents who are putting pressure (more so the granny) on forcing me to go on Boxing Day, when I’m apprehensive about it, mainly as I don’t want my day to be spent sitting in a strange house with awkward small talk. It just feels as usual like my choices and decisions are ignored whilst everyone tries to make my decisions in life for me. I’ve not snapped and got angry yet, instead just sitting in silence for long periods, but I know my tempers starting to show and I’m honestly dreading this holiday period. I'm going to stick up for Ayrmad a wee bit here. The idea you might get angry and snap at your girlfriend for the perfectly reasonable request that you spend time with her family is pretty poor. I think looking at things from other people's point of view and not internalising wouldn't be a bad idea here. Your mum is happy for your sister. Your GF wants to spend time with her family and wants you to be part of that. Aye its fucking boring but bigger picture here. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kneetrembler Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 1 hour ago, mizfit said: I dunno what it is, but I’m starting to get pissed off at everyone just now. My mum is doing her usual whenever my sister is in a relationship, treating the partner like the son she never had, and ignoring my girlfriend, or comparing me to him repeatedly. My girlfriend’s family is alright for the most part, apart from her mental grandparents who are putting pressure (more so the granny) on forcing me to go on Boxing Day, when I’m apprehensive about it, mainly as I don’t want my day to be spent sitting in a strange house with awkward small talk. It just feels as usual like my choices and decisions are ignored whilst everyone tries to make my decisions in life for me. I’ve not snapped and got angry yet, instead just sitting in silence for long periods, but I know my tempers starting to show and I’m honestly dreading this holiday period. When I was first with my now wife, over 25 years ago, there was a lot of pressure from my mother on us to attend family events and shite of that nature. Personally, I didn't care about it but my wife saw the whole thing as some kind of power struggle between her and my ma as to who we would visit when we went home.. When the kids came along it was worse, every time we came back to the north east to visit it was a ballache. My divorced parents both lived in Peterhead, my wife's old dears in a village near Banff, her sisters in MacDuff and my sister was in Buckie. Now, I really couldn't have given a shite, but it was a big deal for my wife, so it became a big deal for me. My wife and I spoke endlessly about it. How much of an arsehole my ma was being, unfair pressure etc etc. Allowing her to vent, made all the difference. Sure we had some awkward visits, but I would always make up some shit excuse to leave early. I always prioritised my relationship with my wife over both our parental families. Maybe have a discussion with your girlfriend see how she feels. Incidentally, my eldest daughter has just got engaged. I have had to call my wife out for behaving in a manner very similar to how my ma used to. So don't take it personally, parents and in laws are just invariably dicks, myself included. I wish you a very happy festive. Good luck. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 FWIW going down the Devil's advocate route: Criticising somebody with depression who is clearly getting down isn't particularly clever, so bad show from ayrmad as I know from experience that it takes very little to kick off bad waves of depression. However... I can't see any evidence of ayrmad going down that all too common 'just chin up' route here tbh as to me he's criticising views that Bobby would hold regardless of mental health issues. This isn't the place for it though, so I'd assume ill-judgement rather than look at me. Seeing as the damage is already done though: dealing with boring days out visiting folk is a necessary evil of family life and I think in this case you do just have to deal with it (quite different to saying 'chin up' though). The other part however is rather good cause for annoyance and I can completely understand how that would make life horrible for somebody suffering from depression. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotThePars Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror there and thought "wow, what a set of cheekbones." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayrmad Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 1 minute ago, Hedgecutter said: FWIW going down the Devil's advocate route: Criticising somebody with depression who is clearly getting down isn't particularly clever, so bad show from ayrmad as I know from experience that it takes very little to kick off bad waves of depression.However... I can't see any evidence of ayrmad going down that all too common 'just chin up' route here tbh as to me he's criticising views that Bobby would hold regardless of mental health issues. This isn't the place for it though, so I'd assume ill-judgement rather than look at me. Seeing as the damage is already done though: dealing with boring days out visiting folk is a necessary evil of family life and I think in this case you do just have to deal with it (quite different to saying 'chin up' though). The other part however is rather good cause for annoyance and I can completely understand how that would make life horrible for somebody suffering from depression. And I can accept that, perhaps my usual lazy style of posting wasn't the correct way to put my suggestion across. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 1 hour ago, ayrmad said: It's neither, I've been that person loads of times, when I looked at myself properly I didn't like what I saw or who I was. I'd 100% agree with this part. Don't try and belittle people with real issues. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayrmad Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Slenderman said: I'd 100% agree with this part. Don't try and belittle people with real issues. I wouldn't ever come on to a thread like this to belittle anyone, we've all got real issues or loved ones with real issues. Do you think we've all got fantastic lives where everything goes swimmingly, I've got 3 kids who've lost a great gran,2 grans,1 granpa,1 neice and a mother in a very short space of time, do you think they're all having a wonderful time, no but we'll deal with the issues when they arise,re-surface. Edited December 22, 2017 by ayrmad 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 11 minutes ago, ayrmad said: I wouldn't ever come on to a thread like this to belittle anyone, we've all got real issues or loved ones with real issues. Do you think we've all got fantastic lives where everything goes swimmingly, I've got 3 kids who've lost a great gran,2 grans,1 granpa,1 neice and a mother in a very short space of time, do you think they're all having a wonderful time, no but we'll deal with the issues when they arise,re-surface. Bereavement doesn't necessitate depression. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayrmad Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 3 minutes ago, Slenderman said: Bereavement doesn't necessitate depression. No it doesn't but it provides more challenges for those that do and those around them. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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