Depression

[oneteaminglasgow]

9 minutes ago, Richey Edwards said:

If you don't mind me asking - what is the nature of the anxiety? Is it about anything particular - being around people, thinking something bad will happen, thinking you might do something silly and people will laugh etc?

I do get anxiety, mostly about going to busy places. If I need to go somewhere like the shops I usually go in the evening because it's usually quieter. I know this is an avoidant behaviour, but it works for me so I do it.

It’s going to sound ridiculous, but basically about 6 months ago I got a really bad bout of food poisoning while out at a restaurant, and felt absolutely bleak for a week or so, and I get really worried about it happening again. I know that, objectively, it’s not a massive deal but it really does just feel overwhelming at the time. I worry about the idea of having to get up mid meal to go throw up, I worry about people noticing how long I’ve been away for, and I worry about having to explain what I’ve been up to. 

[Richey Edwards]

1 minute ago, oneteaminglasgow said:

It’s going to sound ridiculous, but basically about 6 months ago I got a really bad bout of food poisoning while out at a restaurant, and felt absolutely bleak for a week or so, and I get really worried about it happening again. I know that, objectively, it’s not a massive deal but it really does just feel overwhelming at the time. I worry about the idea of having to get up mid meal to go throw up, I worry about people noticing how long I’ve been away for, and I worry about having to explain what I’ve been up to. 

It's not ridiculous at all, and completely understandable. Food poisoning can make you feel absolutely wretched and wanting to avoid it happening is understandable. Did you report the food poisoning?

Even if it did happen again, and people noticed how long you were away it would be none of their business. You wouldn't owe anyone an explanation. I know it's easier for me to say, but try not to worry about what other people might think.

As Molotov said, going to the GP is a great first step. I'm glad you've got that lined up for tomorrow. As well as all the things Molotov mentioned (most of which I have used at one time or other - currently fond of podcasts), there are numerous treatment methods that you can access through your GP - including medications and therapies like Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (which aims to challenge and change unhelpful thought processes).

I hope at least some of what I've written is helpful to you, and I hope your appointment goes well.

Jamie.

[Molotov]

9 minutes ago, oneteaminglasgow said:

It’s going to sound ridiculous, but basically about 6 months ago I got a really bad bout of food poisoning while out at a restaurant, and felt absolutely bleak for a week or so, and I get really worried about it happening again. I know that, objectively, it’s not a massive deal but it really does just feel overwhelming at the time. I worry about the idea of having to get up mid meal to go throw up, I worry about people noticing how long I’ve been away for, and I worry about having to explain what I’ve been up to. 

I once had really severe food poisoning. Turns out I’m allergic to MSG. No more Chinese for me. It’s possible that there is a reason behind your incident.

Maybe think back. It could be you have an intolerance to certain food types or you were just unlucky.

I actually prefer not eating out anymore unless it’s a place I’ve been before.

If I do go anywhere new. The first place I usually visit is the toilets to wash my hands before I look at the menu. 

If the customer toilets are a mess then what state is the kitchen in?

Food hygiene standards in the UK are maybe not as good as they could be.

Avoid buffet style restaurants where food has lain out for a while with all the issues that surround that. 

Stick to a simple food choice if you feel uncomfortable. 

Other advice is to bring the subject up with friends. They might have similar concerns or advice to share.

[johnnydun]

1 hour ago, Richey Edwards said:

If you don't mind me asking - what is the nature of the anxiety? Is it about anything particular - being around people, thinking something bad will happen, thinking you might do something silly and people will laugh etc?

I do get anxiety, mostly about going to busy places. If I need to go somewhere like the shops I usually go in the evening because it's usually quieter. I know this is an avoidant behaviour, but it works for me so I do it.

Hopefully you will get referred to a Clinical Psychologist. They work wonders. Best of luck.

[Venti]

Great thing about this thread. Always amazing boys battering in.

[Dons_1988]

Thank you again to everyone who has taken the time to respond to my issues over the weekend, I really appreciate the insight. I’ve really not been able to speak to anyone about this as anyone I would confide in my wife knows and I know she’s really embarrassed and resistant to sharing her issues so I’ve just kept it in. 

We had what I hope is a turning point on Monday. She looked after my daughter alone on Monday while I worked (she’s ill and we’re taking it day about to take time off work). Anyway she had an absolutely horrendous day, didn’t cope well at all and had all the bad things that have happened over 2 years come at once. 

Horrible for her yes but when I got home from work it was like she had woken up from everything. She had already called the GP, she had a phone appointment yesterday and has been prescribed some pills. She’s getting therapy and seeing the mental health nurse next week. 

It sounds horrible because she was a bit broken on Monday night, but it was like the woman I knew was back, albeit in a very weak state. But she was saying ‘this isn’t me, I don’t want to be like this’ which was really encouraging for me. 

Hopefully not a false dawn but as long as she’s in a place where she’s willing to fight it then I’m up for it too. 

[mathematics]

Sounds like good news @Dons_1988. Fingers crossed the pills work a treat.

[LondonHMFC]

On 22/08/2022 at 12:02, LondonHMFC said:

I went on Friday for the first time. 50 minutes later and I'd told a stranger more about my life than anyone else I have ever known. It was a surreal feeling. When I got up to leave I felt like a weight had lifted, but she mentioned that it was likely after a few days that my head would start filling with thoughts and feelings about things that were brought up. 

I am well aware it isn't particularly cheap, but would recommend for anyone who is struggling.

Nearly six months on from that first session, and as I have said a couple of times on here, if it is something you are open to trying then I highly recommend doing it. 

It's funny reading that post back, I remember leaving her office and I felt a real intense joy, something that I hadn't had for some amount of time (probably without me realising), however over the six months some of the sessions have absolutely floored me, mentally and physically. 

It is definitely the best thing I have ever done in my life for "self improvement", to the point that I have just started my certificate in counselling, and then all being well do a degree. 

 

[accies1874]

11 hours ago, oneteaminglasgow said:

It’s going to sound ridiculous, but basically about 6 months ago I got a really bad bout of food poisoning while out at a restaurant, and felt absolutely bleak for a week or so, and I get really worried about it happening again. I know that, objectively, it’s not a massive deal but it really does just feel overwhelming at the time. I worry about the idea of having to get up mid meal to go throw up, I worry about people noticing how long I’ve been away for, and I worry about having to explain what I’ve been up to. 

The same thing happened to my mate a couple of years ago. He got food poisoning which led to him getting even more unwell and eventually collapsing. This seemed to spark anxiety in him, not helped by the fact that we were just coming out of lockdown, but I've known him since primary school and I think in retrospect it's been there all along. Do you think that this incident has brought to the fore something that you've always had?

[oneteaminglasgow]

40 minutes ago, accies1874 said:

The same thing happened to my mate a couple of years ago. He got food poisoning which led to him getting even more unwell and eventually collapsing. This seemed to spark anxiety in him, not helped by the fact that we were just coming out of lockdown, but I've known him since primary school and I think in retrospect it's been there all along. Do you think that this incident has brought to the fore something that you've always had?

Quite possibly, as I say it’s not something I’ve ever really felt before but it could be that I was just managing to bury it and it’s now just coming out. It’s weird to say as obviously I hope your mate is ok, but it’s reassuring in a way to hear about something similar happening to someone else. 

Spoke to my GP this morning, which was quite reassuring that the symptoms I’ve been having aren’t unusual. He’s said that because it’s ‘episodic’ and basically relating to social situations rather than all the time, he’d like to try a lighter touch approach to begin with and see how it goes - so I’ve got beta blockers to take before going out which should counteract some of the physical symptoms. He’ll follow up with us to see how they’re doing and if anything else is required to take it from there.

And genuinely thanks to everyone in here who’s offered suggestions and that. I’m going to try and find some podcasts and see how that goes, and then take it from there. I know it’s been said before, but there’s some brilliant people posting on here, so thanks. 

[Venti]

4 hours ago, LondonHMFC said:

Nearly six months on from that first session, and as I have said a couple of times on here, if it is something you are open to trying then I highly recommend doing it. 

It's funny reading that post back, I remember leaving her office and I felt a real intense joy, something that I hadn't had for some amount of time (probably without me realising), however over the six months some of the sessions have absolutely floored me, mentally and physically. 

It is definitely the best thing I have ever done in my life for "self improvement", to the point that I have just started my certificate in counselling, and then all being well do a degree. 

 

That's fucking awesome.

Some of the stuff that will floor you is the shite you've be burying. That's where the hurt lies.

Keep talking (even to us Scottish fitba bawbags)

[TxRover]

4 hours ago, LondonHMFC said:

Nearly six months on from that first session, and as I have said a couple of times on here, if it is something you are open to trying then I highly recommend doing it. 

It's funny reading that post back, I remember leaving her office and I felt a real intense joy, something that I hadn't had for some amount of time (probably without me realising), however over the six months some of the sessions have absolutely floored me, mentally and physically. 

It is definitely the best thing I have ever done in my life for "self improvement", to the point that I have just started my certificate in counselling, and then all being well do a degree. 

 

This is the thing about counseling that so many don’t understand/misunderstand. A good counselor doesn’t tell you how to fix things, instead they guide you through a journey to explore issues and determine solutions. The counselor may provide some tools (the talking pillow is an excellent example), but they are not like a doctor who sees you, examines you, and prescribes some medication. The great thing about the exploration is that it generates questions you have to answer yourself, and it’s that questioning that helps develop solutions going forward. A single question by a counselor I visited about a year ago has resulted in a massive change, because I was ignoring the matter, and when asked about it I simply couldn’t justify my behavior…other than as a literally self-harming refusal to see reality.

[Venti]

48 minutes ago, TxRover said:

This is the thing about counseling that so many don’t understand/misunderstand. A good counselor doesn’t tell you how to fix things, instead they guide you through a journey to explore issues and determine solutions. The counselor may provide some tools (the talking pillow is an excellent example), but they are not like a doctor who sees you, examines you, and prescribes some medication. The great thing about the exploration is that it generates questions you have to answer yourself, and it’s that questioning that helps develop solutions going forward. A single question by a counselor I visited about a year ago has resulted in a massive change, because I was ignoring the matter, and when asked about it I simply couldn’t justify my behavior…other than as a literally self-harming refusal to see reality.

Told a boy a while ago about breathing exercises.

Will also help artictulate your thoughts & feelings coherently.

That post ramble was a kind of 'give-away'.

Relax. Close your eyes & breathe.

Edited February 15, 2023 by Venti

[AL-FFC]

4 hours ago, TxRover said:

This is the thing about counseling that so many don’t understand/misunderstand. A good counselor doesn’t tell you how to fix things, instead they guide you through a journey to explore issues and determine solutions. The counselor may provide some tools (the talking pillow is an excellent example), but they are not like a doctor who sees you, examines you, and prescribes some medication. The great thing about the exploration is that it generates questions you have to answer yourself, and it’s that questioning that helps develop solutions going forward. A single question by a counselor I visited about a year ago has resulted in a massive change, because I was ignoring the matter, and when asked about it I simply couldn’t justify my behavior…other than as a literally self-harming refusal to see reality.

Totally agree with that I have been to 5 different counsellors and the best one I went to was at a veterans garden, helped me so much and I would say I am 90 per cent back to the old me I had a blip about a month back on account to a friend taking his life, found that journalling is also a big help in getting it out how your feeling what's affecting etc and reading it back to discover how and why that's affecting me.

[TxRover]

18 hours ago, AL-FFC said:

Totally agree with that I have been to 5 different counsellors and the best one I went to was at a veterans garden, helped me so much and I would say I am 90 per cent back to the old me I had a blip about a month back on account to a friend taking his life, found that journalling is also a big help in getting it out how your feeling what's affecting etc and reading it back to discover how and why that's affecting me.

That’s such an important insight into things, figuring out WHY things p***k you, trigger you, annoy you, frustrate you, etc. Those that haven’t worked that out are the people that fall into these deep depressive holes, just knowing what and why can help,you avoid, if not all, the worst.

Edited February 16, 2023 by TxRover

[AL-FFC]

18 minutes ago, TxRover said:

That’s such an import insight into things, figuring out WHY things p***k you, trigger you, annoy you, frustrate you, etc. Those that haven’t worked that out are the people that fall into these deep depressive holes, just knowing what and why can help,you avoid, if not all, the worst.

Posted a few pages back things that help and work it out and adding to them 

having a sense of purpose in life

it's not the fact you want to die, it's something inside you want to die 

exercise definitely helps (hillwalking especially)

find that inner child again just remembering what it was like to enjoy stuff and just have a laugh end of the day lifes too serious

Journalling and looking over what you've just written on how your feeling and same as a counsellor, gets things out there to analyse or identify as you say.

On the one on friend taking his life was more knowing that inner battle and have had that same discussion in the head

[TxRover]

12 minutes ago, AL-FFC said:

Posted a few pages back things that help and work it out and adding to them 

having a sense of purpose in life

it's not the fact you want to die, it's something inside you want to die 

exercise definitely helps (hillwalking especially)

find that inner child again just remembering what it was like to enjoy stuff and just have a laugh end of the day lifes too serious

Journalling and looking over what you've just written on how your feeling and same as a counsellor, gets things out there to analyse or identify as you say.

On the one on friend taking his life was more knowing that inner battle and have had that same discussion in the head

All quite true and useful. When fighting those demons, remembering that no matter how we think or feel, no one is better off with us dead is good. These days are pretty tough right now, but when I can I try to shrug the weight off my shoulders and just relax a bit. So far it’s working, but the hardest bit is coming up…the good news is I can see the “sunlit uplands” beyond.

[Jacksgranda]

11 hours ago, Dons_1988 said:

Thank you again to everyone who has taken the time to respond to my issues over the weekend, I really appreciate the insight. I’ve really not been able to speak to anyone about this as anyone I would confide in my wife knows and I know she’s really embarrassed and resistant to sharing her issues so I’ve just kept it in. 

We had what I hope is a turning point on Monday. She looked after my daughter alone on Monday while I worked (she’s ill and we’re taking it day about to take time off work). Anyway she had an absolutely horrendous day, didn’t cope well at all and had all the bad things that have happened over 2 years come at once. 

Horrible for her yes but when I got home from work it was like she had woken up from everything. She had already called the GP, she had a phone appointment yesterday and has been prescribed some pills. She’s getting therapy and seeing the mental health nurse next week. 

It sounds horrible because she was a bit broken on Monday night, but it was like the woman I knew was back, albeit in a very weak state. But she was saying ‘this isn’t me, I don’t want to be like this’ which was really encouraging for me. 

Hopefully not a false dawn but as long as she’s in a place where she’s willing to fight it then I’m up for it too. 

That's great news, loon!

[Bairnardo]

I'd live to speak to a counsellor. Not for anything specific, but for the exploratory reasons and also, if I was being greedy, to see if I can get better recall of memories. Don't know if that's a thing but I'd love that if it were possible. 

 

I am a therapists dream though tbf. The amount of stuff I must have repressed/bottled up/built walls to protect myself from will be worth a paper in itself. 

[TxRover]

12 hours ago, Dons_1988 said:

Thank you again to everyone who has taken the time to respond to my issues over the weekend, I really appreciate the insight. I’ve really not been able to speak to anyone about this as anyone I would confide in my wife knows and I know she’s really embarrassed and resistant to sharing her issues so I’ve just kept it in. 

We had what I hope is a turning point on Monday. She looked after my daughter alone on Monday while I worked (she’s ill and we’re taking it day about to take time off work). Anyway she had an absolutely horrendous day, didn’t cope well at all and had all the bad things that have happened over 2 years come at once. 

Horrible for her yes but when I got home from work it was like she had woken up from everything. She had already called the GP, she had a phone appointment yesterday and has been prescribed some pills. She’s getting therapy and seeing the mental health nurse next week. 

It sounds horrible because she was a bit broken on Monday night, but it was like the woman I knew was back, albeit in a very weak state. But she was saying ‘this isn’t me, I don’t want to be like this’ which was really encouraging for me. 

Hopefully not a false dawn but as long as she’s in a place where she’s willing to fight it then I’m up for it too. 

Fantastic news, now the key is the hold this gain. This may sound crass, but there is a very real risk of a backsliding that may occur as things start to get better. One of the huge problems in mental health is getting someone feeling better, so they stop doing exactly the thing that is driving that (pills, therapy, behaviors, etc) improvement. With you there and supporting, you can help avoid this problem, but you need to be as involved as she can allow so you understand where she is. There will be aspects you cannot be privy to, but ensuring she tells the counselor to keep you in the loop as to how you can help should aide in this.