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3 hours ago, PB1994 said:

To an extent yes but the side affects aren’t the main concern. If we had a conversation to begin with that she was happy to try this knowing what these side affects are and she was happy that she could afford to pay for it while still being able to afford all the bills, food etc I’d have been happy for her to give it a go but I would be a bit worried about it but it’s her body so it’s really up to her.

The weight loss/dieting isn’t a big deal. If that’s what she wants to do I’m happy for here to do it the problem is why hide it from me and then lie about it being her friends once I found it?

I can’t actually prove that she is taking it and she could well be telling the truth but to me everything seems to fit with what has happened to her and finding that drug in our fridge. Saying it’s your friends/hiding needles etc and replying with “I don’t know” when I asked about some things about it just doesn’t seem to fit or make any sense to me.

You're obviously hurting and when the blood is up there can be all sorts said that won't necessarily be positive.

Try and be careful not to act as the judge or even the investigating detective. If you do so, the defensive reactions can spiral to a level of resentment that will be difficult to recover from.

It's a very hard thing to do but I think you'd do very well to set all the dieting and hiding aside and think about the antecedents to both her and your behaviour. It's a deep place you have to go to and @TxRovergives some great advice which I hope will be of some help.

Good luck.

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1 hour ago, sophia said:

You're obviously hurting and when the blood is up there can be all sorts said that won't necessarily be positive.

Try and be careful not to act as the judge or even the investigating detective. If you do so, the defensive reactions can spiral to a level of resentment that will be difficult to recover from.

It's a very hard thing to do but I think you'd do very well to set all the dieting and hiding aside and think about the antecedents to both her and your behaviour. It's a deep place you have to go to and @TxRovergives some great advice which I hope will be of some help.

Good luck.

That is a great summary of the risks, and very good advise!

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21 hours ago, PB1994 said:

To an extent yes but the side affects aren’t the main concern. If we had a conversation to begin with that she was happy to try this knowing what these side affects are and she was happy that she could afford to pay for it while still being able to afford all the bills, food etc I’d have been happy for her to give it a go but I would be a bit worried about it but it’s her body so it’s really up to her.

The weight loss/dieting isn’t a big deal. If that’s what she wants to do I’m happy for here to do it the problem is why hide it from me and then lie about it being her friends once I found it?

I can’t actually prove that she is taking it and she could well be telling the truth but to me everything seems to fit with what has happened to her and finding that drug in our fridge. Saying it’s your friends/hiding needles etc and replying with “I don’t know” when I asked about some things about it just doesn’t seem to fit or make any sense to me.

From experience, every woman I have ever been with has been in some way unhappy with their bodies. Despite reassurances, they don't really matter at all as I've been told previously. In all honesty, I can perfectly understand hiding it, if that was the case. In her mind there may be shame associated with her body, unhappy at not being able to lose weight despite many attempts and then embarrassment at being questioned about potential alternate weight loss technique, whether it is true or not. 

In short, caution, understanding and empathy may be a good approach. We all f**k up sometimes. 

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52 minutes ago, thistledo said:

From experience, every woman I have ever been with has been in some way unhappy with their bodies. Despite reassurances, they don't really matter at all as I've been told previously. In all honesty, I can perfectly understand hiding it, if that was the case. In her mind there may be shame associated with her body, unhappy at not being able to lose weight despite many attempts and then embarrassment at being questioned about potential alternate weight loss technique, whether it is true or not. 

Society teaches girls and women that they have to meet unrealistic expectations, in much the same manner as they put milder unrealistic expectations on boys and men. Advertising has a s**tload to answer for, as it has perpetuated and codified those expectations and created entire industries catering to these. Society is equally due a right kicking for how they glorify the “old days” of daddy working and mommy at home with the kids. The cringe induced by reading and watching 1940’s or 1950’s (or even 1960’s) commercials is visceral.

57 minutes ago, thistledo said:

In short, caution, understanding and empathy may be a good approach. We all f**k up sometimes. 

Wise words. There are few situation where this isn’t true, but it’s a very difficult road to walk for nearly everyone. Lots of people talk the talk, but very few can actually do it…respect if you can.

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On 17/01/2023 at 23:48, dundeefc1783 said:

In a similar position my anxiety has been off the scale recently. I feel the route of mines is often work related. Something minor at work when a decision I make might come back with criticism causes me to really struggle. I then end up anxious about pretty much everything and not just the initial situation that caused it. I end up overthinking and catastrophic thinking takes over. It's a cycle I just really struggle to get out of. 

My anxiety at the minute is making me feel like I’ve done/said something wrong to people and are avoiding me for whatever reason possible. Like you it’s making me overthink and making myself stressed about it all. 
 

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On 28/12/2022 at 03:26, StellarHibee said:

I'm not depressed, the world is depressing. I'm not going to pretend that it's an internal problem. It's very much external.

I don't post on here very often, but when I do it's either for help or being the helper. Everyone is very reasoning and extremely helpful.

Everyone on this website will live in reasonable comfort to the others living in this world. However, external events will push your mental statues internally on a downwards spirial. The presher of living for some of us can get to tipping point, so much so, some will end it.

I'm not the most articulate on this thread like many others, so I'll give it how I'd say it to your face.

For someone to come onto this thread and mock, is down right cuntish. Take yer pishe to somewhere else.  When you get there, look over your shoulder, as there will be nobody walking with you.

f**k OFF!

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@BFTD that shite above. Is the reason Santa Slippy gets angry.

Disrespect, I gave it my only 9th downvote ever. 

I've found their IP address and have knocked it down to 4 houses, I'll post the suit (no not that one) Santa one and you and the boys can visit.

@StellarHibee sleeping with one eye open.

Edited by SlipperyP
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My recent epilepsy diagnosis has hit hard in the last few days. Was trying to ignore it and carry on but the more of the literature I read that I've been sent, the more I realise that the diagnosis is spot on. Starting to realise that despite the fact I've only had one seizure, I'll probably be on anti-seizure medication for the foreseeable and that everything mentioned in the literature and the bad habits I've built up over the last 5-10 years have contributed to this. It's basically saying that if you'd not been such a dick, this wouldn't have happened, so you blame yourself. Makes you feel utterly inadequate and that it's too late to change. 

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2 hours ago, 10menwent2mow said:

My recent epilepsy diagnosis has hit hard in the last few days. Was trying to ignore it and carry on but the more of the literature I read that I've been sent, the more I realise that the diagnosis is spot on. Starting to realise that despite the fact I've only had one seizure, I'll probably be on anti-seizure medication for the foreseeable and that everything mentioned in the literature and the bad habits I've built up over the last 5-10 years have contributed to this. It's basically saying that if you'd not been such a dick, this wouldn't have happened, so you blame yourself. Makes you feel utterly inadequate and that it's too late to change. 

But it’s not too late to start making changes that will work with those meds to reduce future occurrences. Of course we blame ourselves, but all too often we do it to an extreme. Just remember that changes don’t happen instantly, except in the movies, but they are worthwhile anyway. The meds may take several goes to get dialed in, but they are remarkably effective when used properly and on schedule.

Felling inadequate is standard when faced with something that seems overwhelming and sure to impose massive changes, but we often over estimate the impact of the necessary versus the prudent…and staging the changes can make it much less imposing. As for (mother) nature sending us a message, the old battle axe has a habit of doing that regardless.

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6 hours ago, SlipperyP said:

I'm all over the place just now, high of getting immigration pass, but always thinking of bad shite...the brain in mental for me...

I post some shite on this forum,  hope you enjoy!

Intrusive thoughts and/or catastrophizing maybe? They're shite, very annoying too!

The brain is often a dickhead. Daft spongy tit that it is.

Stay strong lad!

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Struggling just now. Mostly with my size. My weight has been up and down like a yo-yo over tye years and at the moment I'm a fat c**t. I do exercise, I don't drink. Just eat too much shite to get it shifted. I also have a partner whose mental health isn't great and he's still mourning his grandad from last April and that manifests in eating. On cirtalopram and I wonder if the increase in appetite is actually outweighing the mental health benefits.

Any tips would be gratefully appreciated 

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