Depression

[Dons_1988]

10 hours ago, Stormzy said:

I was very reluctant to post in this thread at first, I'm relativley glad I did and it's generally a good place for the people of this place to vent or whatever makes them feel good by expressing in words and connecting with people but I've gotta say it makes me ever so slightly regret doing so when people do things like this..

...On the politics forum, discussing politics and this guy thinks "hey let's go at him for mental health" I know I'm probably being "precious" for exposing this but it's quite frankly detestable behaviour, I'm sure most people that use this place come on for a good time and accept normal banter whether giving or receiving but stuff like this is just so predictable and tiresome.

Disappointing to see that but thankfully that's extremely rare on the forum generally.

Think 99.9% of folk on here would call someone out at the very least for that behaviour as it's out of order.

[NotThePars]

Well after 6 months unemployed I finally have an interview for Menzies on Thursday, really nervous as this is the first interview I will have had in about 20 years, not even sure what to wear. Anyhoo hope everyone is doing as good as they can and anyone who is needing a chat can PM me anytime.

Is it a video interview? Just dress smart and get yourself in front of a fancy bookshelf (even if you need to green screen some intellectual material). I had a Skype interview back in November and ended up having to do via phone because of their issues n on their end. Felt like an absolute dick sat in my suit on the phone in the living room.

I was very reluctant to post in this thread at first, I'm relativley glad I did and it's generally a good place for the people of this place to vent or whatever makes them feel good by expressing in words and connecting with people but I've gotta say it makes me ever so slightly regret doing so when people do things like this..
...On the politics forum, discussing politics and this guy thinks "hey let's go at him for mental health" I know I'm probably being "precious" for exposing this but it's quite frankly detestable behaviour, I'm sure most people that use this place come on for a good time and accept normal banter whether giving or receiving but stuff like this is just so predictable and tiresome.

Should’ve said something on the thread but think I was playing Warzone and forgot but aye that’s pish behaviour. Oddball stuff.

[Guest TheJTS98]

On 05/02/2021 at 21:39, Alert Mongoose said:

Does anyone else struggle to define why they like being drunk? I’ll admit there is a period during a drinking session I really enjoy which is somewhere beyond tipsy but before being blind drunk.  I can’t really decipher what it is that I find so enjoyable.  I guess the trade off is between that and the gouging lows and anxiety of the next day.  Having a four year old helps tip the balance towards not indulging as looking after them the next day is tough at the best of times.  I’ve found that I can have a fair few early in the afternoon on a Saturday and as long as I stop by teatime the next day isn’t too bad.

That spell from about the start of pint two till the end of pint four is the peak of human existence. I absolutely love it. It's the best feeling in the world.

The problem is what comes next.

[harkinsbaldpatch]

Is it for the call centre or warehouse?

Its for the warehouse, need to go up to the depot for the interview, not sure if travelling from grangemouth to Newbridge is a great idea, but didn't have the option of a zoom interview.

[Shandon Par]

13 hours ago, TheJTS98 said:

That spell from about the start of pint two till the end of pint four is the peak of human existence. I absolutely love it. It's the best feeling in the world.

The problem is what comes next.

Very true! Unfortunately for me that meant a 20 minute spell before things rapidly went downhill. 

[RH33]

6 hours ago, harkinsbaldpatch said:

Its for the warehouse, need to go up to the depot for the interview, not sure if travelling from grangemouth to Newbridge is a great idea, but didn't have the option of a zoom interview.

Best of luck, I worked in the Call centre so I’m not much help when in comes to warehouse interview.

[D.A.F.C]

Not really sure where I'm going with this comment but when I first started to look at social media I felt like everyone had amazing lives and looked perfect. Now it feels like I'm looking at some sort of zoo for the mentally deranged.

It feels like its very detached from reality and like they are crying out for attention. Also more or less 90% of it is the same shit, same looking person in the same clothes doing the same shit with the same filters. I watched a video online where they described it as a matrix, these people have been sucked into some weird fucking place and can't escape. 

My point is that maybe the people who look amazing are actually fake as f**k and are breaking apart completely.

Once you see this shit you cant unsee it, find it quite scary tbh. I think we are looking at some sort of mental health crisis with it within a decade or so.

[RH33]

I’ve had really difficult week but was holding it together. Then a rambling message one my kids teachers where she said what she’s putting into online learning isn’t worth what’s being submitted.

It’s the last straw this week, I should not be awake in middle night stressing about home schooling. we’re completing all core tasks every week. One bits hard going for one kids and takes them a long time to produce what they can. Word count doesn’t reflect time and effort.

I’d call doctor tomorrow but that futile as there’s literally nothing they can offer. Last thing I want is back in and away from my kids as no visitors allowed.

sorry ramble on but it’s 3am and two diazepam hasn’t helped

[Guest TheJTS98]

On 18/02/2021 at 23:52, D.A.F.C said:

Not really sure where I'm going with this comment but when I first started to look at social media I felt like everyone had amazing lives and looked perfect. Now it feels like I'm looking at some sort of zoo for the mentally deranged.

It feels like its very detached from reality and like they are crying out for attention. Also more or less 90% of it is the same shit, same looking person in the same clothes doing the same shit with the same filters. I watched a video online where they described it as a matrix, these people have been sucked into some weird fucking place and can't escape. 

My point is that maybe the people who look amazing are actually fake as f**k and are breaking apart completely.

Once you see this shit you cant unsee it, find it quite scary tbh. I think we are looking at some sort of mental health crisis with it within a decade or so.

It's a cesspit, no question.

I found that social media was making me think a bit less of some people I actually liked, so a couple of years ago I binned Facebook. Never regretted it for a second.

Ended up coming off all the normal social media stuff. Had a Twitter account that I forgot the password to and no longer had the email address so gave that up too. Binned Instagram as well.

Only things of that type I kept were Messenger and Whatsapp. Stay in touch with the people you want to, and don't fret about the rest.

The vast majority of stuff people post on social media is utter garbage and what do you really care about some guy from school that you haven't seen or spoken to in 20 years anyway? Things like Facebook are founded on the lie that your life is improved by voyeuristicly keeping tabs on people you have little actual real-life relationship with. Get it to f**k and get your pals' phone numbers.

[SANTAN]

On 18/02/2021 at 15:52, D.A.F.C said:

Not really sure where I'm going with this comment but when I first started to look at social media I felt like everyone had amazing lives and looked perfect. Now it feels like I'm looking at some sort of zoo for the mentally deranged.

It feels like its very detached from reality and like they are crying out for attention. Also more or less 90% of it is the same shit, same looking person in the same clothes doing the same shit with the same filters. I watched a video online where they described it as a matrix, these people have been sucked into some weird fucking place and can't escape. 

My point is that maybe the people who look amazing are actually fake as f**k and are breaking apart completely.

Once you see this shit you cant unsee it, find it quite scary tbh. I think we are looking at some sort of mental health crisis with it within a decade or so.

I get this post with selfies. Every time I see a selfie I just see the desperation in their eyes. 

You're allowed a nice photo of you and your mates or family that someone else has taken or to mark an occasion or something but as you say some of the more bland attention seeking stuff is like something I can't unsee. It just makes me feel awkward, I'd prefer if everyone just used avatars that goes to ugly and attractive people too, no discrimination on selfie hate in here. 

[Lex]

Mate of mine killed himself at the weekend. His son had just had his first birthday.
Absolutely gutted, can’t even imagine how his family must feel.
It’s never the right answer.

[Dons_1988]

6 hours ago, TheJTS98 said:

It's a cesspit, no question.

I found that social media was making me think a bit less of some people I actually liked, so a couple of years ago I binned Facebook. Never regretted it for a second.

Ended up coming off all the normal social media stuff. Had a Twitter account that I forgot the password to and no longer had the email address so gave that up too. Binned Instagram as well.

Only things of that type I kept were Messenger and Whatsapp. Stay in touch with the people you want to, and don't fret about the rest.

The vast majority of stuff people post on social media is utter garbage and what do you really care about some guy from school that you haven't seen or spoken to in 20 years anyway? Things like Facebook are founded on the lie that your life is improved by voyeuristicly keeping tabs on people you have little actual real-life relationship with. Get it to f**k and get your pals' phone numbers.

Aye. I went a step further and left whatsapp groups with mates as it was just pissing me off. 99% of it absolute drivel and was making me like them less. Good guys in person just acting like total fannies on whatsapp so just left them to it. Still catch up with folk on an individual basis and find it much better.

50 minutes ago, Lex said:

Mate of mine killed himself at the weekend. His son had just had his first birthday.
Absolutely gutted, can’t even imagine how his family must feel.
It’s never the right answer.

That's awful, mate. I went through a friend committing suicide 4 years ago and it absolutely floored me for probably 18 months all told.

Obviously your thoughts are with him and his family but look after yourself and keep an eye on how hard it hits you and take action if it gets too much.

[Jacksgranda]

6 hours ago, Lex said:

Mate of mine killed himself at the weekend. His son had just had his first birthday.
Absolutely gutted, can’t even imagine how his family must feel.
It’s never the right answer.

 

5 hours ago, Dons_1988 said:

 

That's awful, mate. I went through a friend committing suicide 4 years ago and it absolutely floored me for probably 18 months all told.

Obviously your thoughts are with him and his family but look after yourself and keep an eye on how hard it hits you and take action if it gets too much.

Endorse what Dons_1988 said.

[Raidernation]

Mate of mine killed himself at the weekend. His son had just had his first birthday.
Absolutely gutted, can’t even imagine how his family must feel.
It’s never the right answer.

Agree with what Dons said. Watch out for your own mental health. I still have issues with Mrs. RN#2’s suicide and that was in 2009

[Thereisalight..]

I was just thinking earlier that I honestly cant remember the last time I felt happy and content. Must be about 20 months before all the shit with my ex and before my Dad passed then this horrible world we're living in right now. Nothing makes me feel happy. I watch sports and I cant be arsed with them. I used to like hill walking and now it's a chore. I'm still not sleeping good and I've refrained from going to get any medication for anxiety and depression as I just feel that's masking the problem. Had a mini breakdown on Friday as my car had been pranged and I just felt it was one thing after the next

Anyone ever get an empty/numb feeling in your chest? 

[Lyle Lanley]

On 22/02/2021 at 13:21, Lex said:

Mate of mine killed himself at the weekend. His son had just had his first birthday.
Absolutely gutted, can’t even imagine how his family must feel.
It’s never the right answer.

Sorry to hear that mate.

 

[Robin.Hood]

Was texting a friend yesterday just about work and football etc.

This evening got a call from another mate to say said friend  is up in the hospital as he tried to take his life ( overdose) last night. Few of the guys here will know who he is as played fives with him but yeah just feel I'm unsure, numb. Meant to be up for work tomorrow morning at 5 for a 6 start but can't not switch off. Last time I posted in here was regarding my mum and how she has been ( nothing much changed apart from not being back in mental hospital ) but aye this friend is a close friend. Just aye wtf. Ah f**k knows can keep rambling on but just yeah unreal. 

[Priti priti priti Patel]

14 minutes ago, Robin.Hood said:

Was texting a friend yesterday just about work and football etc.

This evening got a call from another mate to say said friend  is up in the hospital as he tried to take his life ( overdose) last night. Few of the guys here will know who he is as played fives with him but yeah just feel I'm unsure, numb. Meant to be up for work tomorrow morning at 5 for a 6 start but can't not switch off. Last time I posted in here was regarding my mum and how she has been ( nothing much changed apart from not being back in mental hospital ) but aye this friend is a close friend. Just aye wtf. Ah f**k knows can keep rambling on but just yeah unreal. 

Sounds like you should take tomorrow as a sick day. Definitely deserved if you're not sleeping and with what's just happened. Can't imagine how you're feeling right now. 

[Thistle_do_nicely]

6 hours ago, Thereisalight.. said:

I was just thinking earlier that I honestly cant remember the last time I felt happy and content. Must be about 20 months before all the shit with my ex and before my Dad passed then this horrible world we're living in right now. Nothing makes me feel happy. I watch sports and I cant be arsed with them. I used to like hill walking and now it's a chore. I'm still not sleeping good and I've refrained from going to get any medication for anxiety and depression as I just feel that's masking the problem. Had a mini breakdown on Friday as my car had been pranged and I just felt it was one thing after the next

Anyone ever get an empty/numb feeling in your chest? 

Sorry to hear about your mini breaking down after getting pranged, harrr dee harrrr

*fully aware that trying to come over all Patch Adams doesn't always help but I really mean that just as a lighthearted icebreaker and I'm not knowingly trying to be a dick, I know tone isn't always easily conveyed over the internet. If you didn't appreciate then feel free to call me an arse, fill your boots if that cheers you up a bit!)

anyway - everything you've said is very familiar to me, right down to avoiding medication (I avoid drinking too unless its social so it's been months since I've even had so much as a beer tbh)

I still get happy or joyful moments, but they're fleeting these days. I'd describe it as a sensation of just kind of... existing? Rather than sheer emptiness/numbness. I'd say it is the default state which is a bit shite.

I don't know how much help this can be to you but I would say that I've noticed that instead of calls w/ any close friends/family being over and done in <5 minutes and mostly communicating just through text or whatsapp, there are waaaay more calls now and the average time is probably closer to half an hour now. It's not even chatting about anything all that important but it's ABSOLUTELY some of the happier moments I get. Just things like hearing my mum and talk away about what she's been cooking recently etc. If you have a close old school friend or blood relative you can call/whatsapp who you haven't directly spoken to in a while I would say try and get in touch with them that way, its really easy to fall into a routine of doing everything through text or some kind of messenger but I like hearing from my brother, mum, partner etc. over the phone as often as possible. Hope that can be a useful suggestion. Other than that I'm just going to go the route of saying stuff like "i like walking my big dug a lot" which, while true and is something I find kind of comforting to get some sort of routine with, might come over a bit trite.

final note - im posting this at close to 4am so take a wild guess at what my sleeping patterns are like at the minute  

tl;dr you aren't alone in feeling like that, for whatever its worth.

Edited February 24, 2021 by Thistle_do_nicely

[54_and_counting]

11 hours ago, Thereisalight.. said:

I was just thinking earlier that I honestly cant remember the last time I felt happy and content. Must be about 20 months before all the shit with my ex and before my Dad passed then this horrible world we're living in right now. Nothing makes me feel happy. I watch sports and I cant be arsed with them. I used to like hill walking and now it's a chore. I'm still not sleeping good and I've refrained from going to get any medication for anxiety and depression as I just feel that's masking the problem. Had a mini breakdown on Friday as my car had been pranged and I just felt it was one thing after the next

Anyone ever get an empty/numb feeling in your chest? 

While i havent been through anything as intense as yourself ive found myself struggling massively with the whole lockdown, and simply going to work and going home routine thats been going on since last march

Ive had mini breakdowns in work that required me to remove myself from the backup for a wee while, just dealing with the same shit from the same people day after day after day is

The yesterday's announcement just removed what little hope and encouragement i had left in me to the point now where im beginning to think this will never end

Like yourself i dont ever consider medication because it simply covers the problem, and usually i can give myself a shake at some point and snap out of it, but the shakes aren't working as well anymore and its so much harder to get out of the dark cloud