Depression

[Jacksgranda]

7 minutes ago, Raidernation said:

Self loathing is a serious issue, and this time of year won’t help.
I’ve been much better this year and in general. Even bashing my head open hasn’t sent me into a negative spiral like it would have done before. Maybe I’ve finally learned to live with myself and be thankful for what I’ve got.

I’m happy to talk to anyone via pm if you want to reach out.

Practise being satisfied and being grateful for what you've got.

[10menwent2mow]

The past couple of months I feel like I've fallen into a pretty deep rut but at the same time, feel like an utter arsehole for allowing myself to think that I'm struggling mentally.

My work (a pub) has been opened after full lockdown, closed for the Aberdeen lockdown, opened again and has now been closed since mid October. While still on furlough of 80%, the lack of purpose is really starting to get to me. I appreciate that getting 80% of wages for sitting on my arse is a hell of a good position to be in compared to others and I feel guilt for thinking that I should be in anyway down about this.

During the first lockdown I was out exercising regularly and even during the local lockdown in Aberdeen, I felt not too bad but from about September onwards, I have noticed a real change in my demeanour. I was resenting customers at work for constant complaining about the Covid-safe rules we were enforcing and I was drinking far too much after work. Since we closed under the tier system and there have still been pubs open this has continued. Find myself waking in the morning after drinking with the absolute fear and it's usually justified as I've said something stupid or out of order on social media (I'm toying with the idea of canning it).

The thing is that I know the things I have to do in order to sort myself out it's just proving very difficult to get out of. At, 36, I've only had one reasonably serious relationship and that ended 10 years ago. Funilly enough, my ex is the only one I've talked to about this and she's been great.

I think with Aberdeen moving back into tier 3 and the pubs closing again I might be able to dig myself out of it but I've just spent another full day pretty much in bed and haven't left the house.

I know other people are worse off and struggling way more than I am which is what I keep telling myself but it's not really helped.

[Rob1885]

The past couple of months I feel like I've fallen into a pretty deep rut but at the same time, feel like an utter arsehole for allowing myself to think that I'm struggling mentally.

 

My work (a pub) has been opened after full lockdown, closed for the Aberdeen lockdown, opened again and has now been closed since mid October. While still on furlough of 80%, the lack of purpose is really starting to get to me. I appreciate that getting 80% of wages for sitting on my arse is a hell of a good position to be in compared to others and I feel guilt for thinking that I should be in anyway down about this.

 

During the first lockdown I was out exercising regularly and even during the local lockdown in Aberdeen, I felt not too bad but from about September onwards, I have noticed a real change in my demeanour. I was resenting customers at work for constant complaining about the Covid-safe rules we were enforcing and I was drinking far too much after work. Since we closed under the tier system and there have still been pubs open this has continued. Find myself waking in the morning after drinking with the absolute fear and it's usually justified as I've said something stupid or out of order on social media (I'm toying with the idea of canning it).

 

The thing is that I know the things I have to do in order to sort myself out it's just proving very difficult to get out of. At, 36, I've only had one reasonably serious relationship and that ended 10 years ago. Funilly enough, my ex is the only one I've talked to about this and she's been great.

 

I think with Aberdeen moving back into tier 3 and the pubs closing again I might be able to dig myself out of it but I've just spent another full day pretty much in bed and haven't left the house.

 

I know other people are worse off and struggling way more than I am which is what I keep telling myself but it's not really helped.

I'd not feel guilty about taking 80% wages on furlough mate. Just because people are in a worse off position, doesnt mean you're not allowed to feel bad either. Very cliched but taking it a day at a time makes things a bit more manageable, start looking ahead/worrying then it can start to a but of a downward spiral. I've been there believe me!

 

Feel free to drop a PM if you'd like to talk anything through further. ETA: that invitation is open to anyone.

 

[die hard doonhamer]

2 hours ago, bernardblack said:

 

Not sure if it’ll help, but I took a break from social media (apart from here) and found I stopped comparing myself to everyone else...at their best.

You can get through it

 

I've done similar. I still use Twitter, but I deleted the Facebook app from my phone and now only go on there every 3 or 4 days just to check my notifications for tags and that's it. I feel like it has made a massive difference. However, it had also come at the same time as getting a change in my role at work that I've basically been asking for for the last 18 months, so I'm not sure which of them is the biggest driver in my improved mood.

As ever, if anyone is struggling and wants to drop a PM, I'm open.

[Robin.Hood]

32 minutes ago, die hard doonhamer said:

I've done similar. I still use Twitter, but I deleted the Facebook app from my phone and now only go on there every 3 or 4 days just to check my notifications for tags and that's it. I feel like it has made a massive difference. However, it had also come at the same time as getting a change in my role at work that I've basically been asking for for the last 18 months, so I'm not sure which of them is the biggest driver in my improved mood.

As ever, if anyone is struggling and wants to drop a PM, I'm open.

I got rid of Facebook on January the first and best thing I did. Never felt I wanted to go back on it at all. Messanger I have kept so can speak on there. I'm same as I have twitter and here.

[NotThePars]

The past couple of months I feel like I've fallen into a pretty deep rut but at the same time, feel like an utter arsehole for allowing myself to think that I'm struggling mentally.

My work (a pub) has been opened after full lockdown, closed for the Aberdeen lockdown, opened again and has now been closed since mid October. While still on furlough of 80%, the lack of purpose is really starting to get to me. I appreciate that getting 80% of wages for sitting on my arse is a hell of a good position to be in compared to others and I feel guilt for thinking that I should be in anyway down about this.

I know other people are worse off and struggling way more than I am which is what I keep telling myself but it's not really helped.

You can only exist in your own head mate and whatever plagues you is going to be a concern no matter how ‘objectively’ it might be. I think comparing yourself to others can be a bad avenue for figuring out how you’re doing. It definitely made me reluctant to seek help for a long time cause my problems didn’t seem as bad as other people’s.

[10menwent2mow]

You can only exist in your own head mate and whatever plagues you is going to be a concern no matter how ‘objectively’ it might be. I think comparing yourself to others can be a bad avenue for figuring out how you’re doing. It definitely made me reluctant to seek help for a long time cause my problems didn’t seem as bad as other people’s.

I think that's half the battle. Comparing yourself to others is only a natural position to be in. Friends that are married, kids, houses, cars, careers, it's only natural to look at yourself and think you've kinda fucked things up a bit. However, there are times when I'm very happy with my lot. My 20's were an exceptional time in my life but the last few years I've really not felt like I've kicked on in life.

[buchan30]

No sure where to put this but It’s go seem stupid, but tonight has scunnered me as it feels like, being able to play 5s has now been set back months. We are not coming out of this on the 18th of January in a lower tier at all. Maybe a bit of an overreaction, but fitness wise it has been the only thing keeping me going. I actually had an “acht, whats the fucking point” moment. I know everyone has their own reasons for why it’s impacting them and this may seem trivial, but it just feels like that goal has been taken away.
It feels like it justifies all the junk food i eat, because well there is no rush to lose it. And that is a dangerous mindset for me to get into.
Hope this makes sense to someone.

[D.A.F.C]

No sure where to put this but It’s go seem stupid, but tonight has scunnered me as it feels like, being able to play 5s has now been set back months. We are not coming out of this on the 18th of January in a lower tier at all. Maybe a bit of an overreaction, but fitness wise it has been the only thing keeping me going. I actually had an “acht, whats the fucking point” moment. I know everyone has their own reasons for why it’s impacting them and this may seem trivial, but it just feels like that goal has been taken away.
It feels like it justifies all the junk food i eat, because well there is no rush to lose it. And that is a dangerous mindset for me to get into.
Hope this makes sense to someone.

This might not help but I turned my motivation around by following advice from someone who had many setbacks.
I've not been able to play fives since March and knew I'd get into a rut.
I tell myself that I have to do something out of my comfort zone every day and make it something difficult.
From struggling to go to the gym three times I've done something every day since the lockdown. Its all a head game I'd advise watching motivational videos or getting a book to try and get there.
I think for each individual the motivation needs to come from within once I learned this I've not stopped. Even when sore or tired. I'm able to snap into exercise mode no matter what.
End result will be an improvement on your mental well being.
Basically, this is shit but if I do this then I will feel better.
Eat well, try to exercise and get outdoors as much as possible. I guarantee you will feel better.

[buchan30]

Cheers. Music is usually a big motivator and i have the treadmill there. Got tomorrow on the drink for the cup final, which i had planned for and monday eating junk while i recover. Hopefully by then i can get the music on everything will have sank in by then.

[D.A.F.C]

Cheers. Music is usually a big motivator and i have the treadmill there. Got tomorrow on the drink for the cup final, which i had planned for and monday eating junk while i recover. Hopefully by then i can get the music on everything will have sank in by then.

Drink and junk food dont help with depression. Its not a thing you can stop overnight but try a weekend without and with and see the difference in motivation.

[die hard doonhamer]

I'm scunnered with it as well. Good chance that I'll be working from home and trying to home school my kids on my own for at least a week in the new year. I know that it won't be unique to me, but I'm fucking dreading it.

[buchan30]

Drink and junk food dont help with depression. Its not a thing you can stop overnight but try a weekend without and with and see the difference in motivation.

I imagine my “day on the drink” comment looks worse than what it is. The only reason i am go be having a few drinks is because i am off monday and its cup final day, so usually i would have been watching it in the pub with my uncle. I don’t drink that often, tends to have to be a special occasion.

[buchan30]

I'm scunnered with it as well. Good chance that I'll be working from home and trying to home school my kids on my own for at least a week in the new year. I know that it won't be unique to me, but I'm fucking dreading it.

With the home schooling, do what you can. It may only be for a few weeks. I ended up having to set time aside at the weekend for it. It’s not ideal i know and i have no idea your kids age/ability etc. but can you even think about a couple of hours then to ease the pressure on yourself? Teams has an option of hand in late.

[V.Aye.R]

I got rid of Facebook on January the first and best thing I did. Never felt I wanted to go back on it at all. Messanger I have kept so can speak on there. I'm same as I have twitter and here. [emoji846]

I've experienced similar benefits to deleting facebook. The people who matter still keep in touch.

I also have twitter but do find it borderline. Its a sea of doomscrolling and negativity which isnt always healthy.

[V.Aye.R]

Cheers. Music is usually a big motivator and i have the treadmill there. Got tomorrow on the drink for the cup final, which i had planned for and monday eating junk while i recover. Hopefully by then i can get the music on everything will have sank in by then.

I got a cheap fitness tracker just before lockdown in March. You can get a huawei band 4 for circa £30 and it does everything you'd need.

Quite good to try and hit 10k steps each day.

Ive even paced the living room for 10 mins before bed to hit the target [emoji23]

[buchan30]

I got a cheap fitness tracker just before lockdown in March. You can get a huawei band 4 for circa £30 and it does everything you'd need.

Quite good to try and hit 10k steps each day.

Ive even paced the living room for 10 mins before bed to hit the target [emoji23]

I have the treadmill which i have been using frequently and even managed a full 5k outside on Wednesday and felt like i was working towards something, then tonight kind of took the wind out my sails.
I had the same thing with my fitbit, used to try and hit my steps target everyday, to the point where i think Mrs B was going to divorce me if i didn’t stop pacing the house at 10:30pm every night. [emoji23]

[Stellaboz]

Quite often I'll do sprints on the spot for 100 steps a few times before getting in the shower just to add to the days total.

[HenryHill]

12 hours ago, die hard doonhamer said:

I'm scunnered with it as well. Good chance that I'll be working from home and trying to home school my kids on my own for at least a week in the new year. I know that it won't be unique to me, but I'm fucking dreading it.

It's important to remember to just do the schooling that fits in with everything else you have to do. Don't stress about only managing a bit here and there. Anything you can do with them is a bonus and ignore the other parents that post up all the work there kids have done. Most folk are winging it too and your kids are not falling behind.

[Tony Ferrino]

19 hours ago, V.Aye.R said:

I've experienced similar benefits to deleting facebook. The people who matter still keep in touch.

I also have twitter but do find it borderline. Its a sea of doomscrolling and negativity which isnt always healthy.

I deleted mine a couple of years ago and haven't missed it at all. I saw my wife's feed a couple of days ago and it seems to have degenerated into a competition between various women who are competing to see who can be the "best mummy" at Xmas. Me and the kids can tell when she's been on there because her mood changes noticably for the worse.