Depression

[thistledo]

2 hours ago, The Moonster said:

Struggling right now. Two weeks ago I was given the news that my best mate had passed away. I haven't seen him this year with lockdown and he generally moved between his mums house and dads house, so it was difficult to co-ordinate. It was a real shock and added to the stress over the last two weeks, it wasn't exactly clear how he had died, I've basically been running every scenario through my head non-stop and it's been eating away at me. I've been told this morning that the cause of death has been reported as suspected alcohol withdrawal. Of all the scenarios that I was running through my head, that wasn't one of them. He was quite a depressive guy, he'd go in and out of periods of being healthy and unhealthy but I genuinely didn't know he was relying on alcohol so much. Over the last few months he'd started losing weight through changing his diet/exercising and was starting to look at dating again, I genuinely thought he was on the right track. I still can't really get my head around the fact I won't see him again and I can't really understand how this has happened. He would've turned 32 in 2 weeks time. I wish I'd known he was drinking every day, feel a bit fucking stupid that I've not noticed that my best friend was an alcoholic.

This year has been the most stressful of my life without doubt. With my work and covid going on, I feel exhausted at the end of every day now. I've noticed it doesn't take much for me to get angry and I've probably lashed out at people/things when I should probably have thought better of it. I should probably think more before I call someone out on here because I don't know what they're going through. I see a few pages back that @Thereisalight.. has been struggling, so I'm sorry to you for being a dick on the COVID thread, I sincerely hope you are okay man and I'll reign it in. 

His funeral is next week and at the moment I've been told there's room for me to go, but I don't know if that will change when these tiers come in. I just feel absolutely drained and I don't know how to deal with myself. I just want to hit Pause and have everything stop until I feel better. 

Sorry to hear about your best mate, 32 would have been no age at all as well. I wouldn't beat yourself up about the fact you didn't know about the levels of drinking, certainly if you weren't around the person you'd have no real way of knowing. From experience people can be functional alcoholics for years and you never really realise the extent. 

The funeral situation as with everything right now is distressing, earlier in the year my brother and I had to decide which one of us would attend my grans funeral due to restrictions. It's fucking bollocks really. 

I feel really similar to you in terms of stress and tiredness, I've had a few occasions recently where I've really lost it over quite trivial things. Decided I need to try and calm down, been setting time aside each day to go for walks and a bit of weights, mostly just as a way to manage frustrations and angers of the day/week, I find if I tire myself out I'm less likely to be angry about anything. I'd really recommend it. 

Take it easy. 

[The Moonster]

1 hour ago, engelbert_humperdink said:

Can only sympathise mate. When I was taking drugs daily, I done my absolute utmost to hide it from family and friends. Withdrawals, I would play off as the flu or a stomach bug. So try not to overthink that you didnt pick up on your best mates dependance on alcohol, as most addicts I've come accross it is there dirty little secret. Most will only come clean when they are finally done with their addicition. Repeating myself and rambling, but don't feel stupid about not noticing his addiction. Keep ploughing forward, next year is a new year

 

1 hour ago, thistledo said:

Sorry to hear about your best mate, 32 would have been no age at all as well. I wouldn't beat yourself up about the fact you didn't know about the levels of drinking, certainly if you weren't around the person you'd have no real way of knowing. From experience people can be functional alcoholics for years and you never really realise the extent. 

The funeral situation as with everything right now is distressing, earlier in the year my brother and I had to decide which one of us would attend my grans funeral due to restrictions. It's fucking bollocks really. 

I feel really similar to you in terms of stress and tiredness, I've had a few occasions recently where I've really lost it over quite trivial things. Decided I need to try and calm down, been setting time aside each day to go for walks and a bit of weights, mostly just as a way to manage frustrations and angers of the day/week, I find if I tire myself out I'm less likely to be angry about anything. I'd really recommend it. 

Take it easy. 

Cheers guys, I've had a bit more info from his family today and it's just a heart-breaking situation. He'd apparently been clean for 3 months and doing a keto diet (which I had perceived as him being "on the right track") but had a binge at the end of September and was unwell for about a week before he had a seizure and passed away. His mum has witnessed it all happen too, which is just tragic. It's certainly made me rethink my relationship with drink anyway.

I think you're right that I need to get myself more active, I had been going some runs recently but I'm so unfit I've not really felt much relief after doing it, just need to keep at it. 

[Thereisalight..]

7 hours ago, The Moonster said:

Struggling right now. Two weeks ago I was given the news that my best mate had passed away. I haven't seen him this year with lockdown and he generally moved between his mums house and dads house, so it was difficult to co-ordinate. It was a real shock and added to the stress over the last two weeks, it wasn't exactly clear how he had died, I've basically been running every scenario through my head non-stop and it's been eating away at me. I've been told this morning that the cause of death has been reported as suspected alcohol withdrawal. Of all the scenarios that I was running through my head, that wasn't one of them. He was quite a depressive guy, he'd go in and out of periods of being healthy and unhealthy but I genuinely didn't know he was relying on alcohol so much. Over the last few months he'd started losing weight through changing his diet/exercising and was starting to look at dating again, I genuinely thought he was on the right track. I still can't really get my head around the fact I won't see him again and I can't really understand how this has happened. He would've turned 32 in 2 weeks time. I wish I'd known he was drinking every day, feel a bit fucking stupid that I've not noticed that my best friend was an alcoholic.

This year has been the most stressful of my life without doubt. With my work and covid going on, I feel exhausted at the end of every day now. I've noticed it doesn't take much for me to get angry and I've probably lashed out at people/things when I should probably have thought better of it. I should probably think more before I call someone out on here because I don't know what they're going through. I see a few pages back that @Thereisalight.. has been struggling, so I'm sorry to you for being a dick on the COVID thread, I sincerely hope you are okay man and I'll reign it in. 

His funeral is next week and at the moment I've been told there's room for me to go, but I don't know if that will change when these tiers come in. I just feel absolutely drained and I don't know how to deal with myself. I just want to hit Pause and have everything stop until I feel better. 

I appreciate the apology. Sorry to hear of your friends passing at such a young age. I hope you’re able to go to the funeral and that it will help ease your guilt a bit

[Thereisalight..]

I feel I’ve been in a rut mentally the last few months, but in particular the last few weeks. This time last year my relationship ended and I found out she had a new guy a few weeks later and my Dad also took not well so I have all those memories eating away at me. 

The whole “life” right now also depresses me. I lost the rag at an old kunt in the supermarket earlier and I just feel on a short fuse most of the time. I took my mum to get her shopping today and in the foyer the old p***k was fannying about putting his mask on for ages (everyone else  put theirs on outside), then at the trolley cleaning station he was taking an age and we stepped forward thinking he’d finished. The kunt turned round and was so condescending to my mum and said “do you know what the safe distance is?”. I just saw red and verbally called him out and he  sarcastically said “I’m a 76 year old who doesn’t want to catch covid” I then said if he was that concerned he shouldn’t be out and I called him a fcking b*****d. Ever since then it’s been eating away at me and I just feel like a horrible person and it’s adding to my already low mood. I can’t do right for doing wrong

[Richey Edwards]

Today:

- Both of my parents have Coronavirus and apparently the symptoms can worsen in the second week.

- My girlfriend has decided to break up with me for some completely fabricated reasons that she herself has concocted.

- I could potentially be made redundant soon as I cannot return to my workplace, and am currently waiting to be either "redeployed" or made redundant.

One of these things alone, nevermind all three of them, would have previously been enough to trigger a depressive episode.

However, I'm feeling okay about them. It's a shite situation, but one that I can navigate through.

[DA Baracus]

5 hours ago, Richey Edwards said:

Today:

- Both of my parents have Coronavirus and apparently the symptoms can worsen in the second week.

- My girlfriend has decided to break up with me for some completely fabricated reasons that she herself has concocted.

- I could potentially be made redundant soon as I cannot return to my workplace, and am currently waiting to be either "redeployed" or made redundant.

One of these things alone, nevermind all three of them, would have previously been enough to trigger a depressive episode.

However, I'm feeling okay about them. It's a shite situation, but one that I can navigate through.

Fucking hell, that's brutal. I almost posted a wee laugh emoji as that's such an absurd series of events.

Sorry man. Like you say, any one of those things would be shit, but all three to happen in a day is mental.

To put a twist on things though:

- The death rate of COVID is currently below 3%. 

- Sounds like you've dodged a bullet with your girlfriend if she's made a reason to break up with you. I don't necessarily mean she's an arsehole. It simply could be that she thought the relationship wasn't working and has made something up to get out of it. That doesn't have to reflect on you, but even if it does, so what? It just means that ultimately you weren't compatible for each other. Doesn't mean you won't be compatible for anyone else. It's sad and will hurt a bit, but ultimately it's for the best.

- Yeah, this is hard to put a positive spin on. If it's redundancy you'll get some cash to help you whilst you decide what to do next. Redeployment sounds like corporate talk for shunting you in to a shite position, possibly with less hours and pay. 

You might end up with some time off and time to rest and relax whilst you decide what to do next. It could be the proverbial 'fresh start'. Probably not the best time to be looking for a new job mind, but you'll sort something out.

[NJ2]

Today:
- Both of my parents have Coronavirus and apparently the symptoms can worsen in the second week.
- My girlfriend has decided to break up with me for some completely fabricated reasons that she herself has concocted.
- I could potentially be made redundant soon as I cannot return to my workplace, and am currently waiting to be either "redeployed" or made redundant.
One of these things alone, nevermind all three of them, would have previously been enough to trigger a depressive episode.
However, I'm feeling okay about them. It's a shite situation, but one that I can navigate through.

That’s a shite hand to be dealt mate, sorry.
Keep the head up, hopefully your folks are fine and we can suss out the rest as we go [emoji106]

[Richey Edwards]

1 hour ago, DA Baracus said:

Fucking hell, that's brutal. I almost posted a wee laugh emoji as that's such an absurd series of events.

Sorry man. Like you say, any one of those things would be shit, but all three to happen in a day is mental.

To put a twist on things though:

- The death rate of COVID is currently below 3%. 

- Sounds like you've dodged a bullet with your girlfriend if she's made a reason to break up with you. I don't necessarily mean she's an arsehole. It simply could be that she thought the relationship wasn't working and has made something up to get out of it. That doesn't have to reflect on you, but even if it does, so what? It just means that ultimately you weren't compatible for each other. Doesn't mean you won't be compatible for anyone else. It's sad and will hurt a bit, but ultimately it's for the best.

- Yeah, this is hard to put a positive spin on. If it's redundancy you'll get some cash to help you whilst you decide what to do next. Redeployment sounds like corporate talk for shunting you in to a shite position, possibly with less hours and pay. 

You might end up with some time off and time to rest and relax whilst you decide what to do next. It could be the proverbial 'fresh start'. Probably not the best time to be looking for a new job mind, but you'll sort something out.

- Yeah, thus far they've coped well with the symptoms well and it hasn't been anymore than an inconvenience for them. However, there's plenty of horror stories online about people being unable to breathe properly and requiring intensive care or dying of complications from having the virus and other conditions. My dad has a heart condition so it's worrying to think that such a thing could happen to him.

 

- My girlfriend appears to have convinced herself that I have been using dating apps and cheating on her. This is completely untrue, and I have told her that.

However, she started insulting me so I pointed out that she was behaving unreasonably and being nasty to me for no reason. This didn't go down well and she's blocked me from all means of electronic communication. 

This is particularly disappointing, because we are both supposedly old enough and mature enough to break up without any of this infantile nonsense.

 

- the job situation, I'll have to wait and see what happens. However, hopefully it works out for the best.

[DA Baracus]

20 minutes ago, Richey Edwards said:

- Yeah, thus far they've coped well with the symptoms well and it hasn't been anymore than an inconvenience for them. However, there's plenty of horror stories online about people being unable to breathe properly and requiring intensive care or dying of complications from having the virus and other conditions. My dad has a heart condition so it's worrying to think that such a thing could happen to him.

 

- My girlfriend appears to have convinced herself that I have been using dating apps and cheating on her. This is completely untrue, and I have told her that.

However, she started insulting me so I pointed out that she was behaving unreasonably and being nasty to me for no reason. This didn't go down well and she's blocked me from all means of electronic communication. 

This is particularly disappointing, because we are both supposedly old enough and mature enough to break up without any of this infantile nonsense.

 

- the job situation, I'll have to wait and see what happens. However, hopefully it works out for the best.

- They might have complications and it might be a bit pish for them for a bit. However odds are on their side that they'll recover and be fine. The online stories are almost always the most extreme examples. You never read online about folk who had the virus, felt a bit shite, then were absolutely fine. That includes the many thousands of older folk who had it.

- Sounds like your girlfriend wasn't actually as mature as you thought and gave her credit for. Not your fault, so hopefully you don't think it is. Sounds to me like she's been a shitebag and hasn't had the maturity to just speak to you. Seems like maybe things, for whatever reason (and it could be anything or a mix or things, and they could be absolutely beyond your control) weren't working for her and she's taken the teenager route out. She hasn't had the maturity and respect to speak to you. That's pish behaviour and I hope you don't think that's your fault, as it absolutely isn't from what you've said. A sore situation regardless but ultimately a good one for you. 

- Yeah, shite with the job. Not the best time to look around but have you had a wee look at other jobs?

[The_Kincardine]

On 28/10/2020 at 20:02, Thereisalight.. said:

I feel I’ve been in a rut mentally the last few months, but in particular the last few weeks. This time last year my relationship ended and I found out she had a new guy a few weeks later and my Dad also took not well so I have all those memories eating away at me. 

The whole “life” right now also depresses me. I lost the rag at an old kunt in the supermarket earlier and I just feel on a short fuse most of the time. I took my mum to get her shopping today and in the foyer the old p***k was fannying about putting his mask on for ages (everyone else  put theirs on outside), then at the trolley cleaning station he was taking an age and we stepped forward thinking he’d finished. The kunt turned round and was so condescending to my mum and said “do you know what the safe distance is?”. I just saw red and verbally called him out and he  sarcastically said “I’m a 76 year old who doesn’t want to catch covid” I then said if he was that concerned he shouldn’t be out and I called him a fcking b*****d. Ever since then it’s been eating away at me and I just feel like a horrible person and it’s adding to my already low mood. I can’t do right for doing wrong

I will be honest here.  No one wants to reply to this post as you come across as a bit of a fanny.

Aye, so the 78 yo is everyone's irritant and using age as an excuse is unacceptable in most situations including this.  However, we all have a duty to show a wee touch of tolerance right now.

You're not a 'horrible person' at all.  I've read a few of your posts.  You are, though, in a frustrating situation so I sympathise with you.  Rather than vent at auld c***s in Tesco feel welcome to send me a PM when things get on top of you.  I can't promise a decent answer but I will treat you seriously.

[Richey Edwards]

58 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

- They might have complications and it might be a bit pish for them for a bit. However odds are on their side that they'll recover and be fine. The online stories are almost always the most extreme examples. You never read online about folk who had the virus, felt a bit shite, then were absolutely fine. That includes the many thousands of older folk who had it.

- Sounds like your girlfriend wasn't actually as mature as you thought and gave her credit for. Not your fault, so hopefully you don't think it is. Sounds to me like she's been a shitebag and hasn't had the maturity to just speak to you. Seems like maybe things, for whatever reason (and it could be anything or a mix or things, and they could be absolutely beyond your control) weren't working for her and she's taken the teenager route out. She hasn't had the maturity and respect to speak to you. That's pish behaviour and I hope you don't think that's your fault, as it absolutely isn't from what you've said. A sore situation regardless but ultimately a good one for you. 

- Yeah, shite with the job. Not the best time to look around but have you had a wee look at other jobs?

- yeah, I'm sure my parents will be fine. They're more bothered about not being able to go to the shops or go to work than they are about the actual illness.

 

- It's disappointing because she goes out of her way to make me feel like she cares and is constantly buying me things, writing me cards and making me food. In hindsight that sounds like "lovebombing".

She's also a bit older than me so I expected more maturity from her, but obviously I expect too much from her.

 

- I have looked for other jobs and applied for a few just in case. I have a lot of experience in healthcare which is what a lot of employers look for, so if it comes to it I'll hopefully find something else easily.

[DA Baracus]

13 minutes ago, Richey Edwards said:

- yeah, I'm sure my parents will be fine. They're more bothered about not being able to go to the shops or go to work than they are about the actual illness.

 

- It's disappointing because she goes out of her way to make me feel like she cares and is constantly buying me things, writing me cards and making me food. In hindsight that sounds like "lovebombing".

She's also a bit older than me so I expected more maturity from her, but obviously I expect too much from her.

 

- I have looked for other jobs and applied for a few just in case. I have a lot of experience in healthcare which is what a lot of employers look for, so if it comes to it I'll hopefully find something else easily.

- Haha, sounds like they'll be fine.

- She might have cared for you. She still might. But it's her issue and she hasn't been mature enough to speak to you about it. That's w**k behaviour and so disrespectful towards you.

 

- Sounds like your experience will be good and will put you ahead of many folk.

[Richey Edwards]

12 hours ago, DA Baracus said:

- She might have cared for you. She still might. But it's her issue and she hasn't been mature enough to speak to you about it. That's w**k behaviour and so disrespectful towards you.

This is actually the sixth time she's blocked me from everything for some stupid reasons. I'm leaning towards just giving up tbh.

[Stellaboz]

Don't lean, just do it. That is absolutely not worth sticking around for. You'll have a much happier life without all that shite, I promise you. 

[Richey Edwards]

1 hour ago, Stellaboz said:

Don't lean, just do it. That is absolutely not worth sticking around for. You'll have a much happier life without all that shite, I promise you. 

Yes, I'm doing it.

[Stellaboz]

14 minutes ago, Richey Edwards said:

Yes, I'm doing it.

Good lad! It might hurt to begin with, you might even receive shit for a while but hold your head up high and feel confident in your decision. Honestly, been there done that and much better for it. 

[Richey Edwards]

Just now, Stellaboz said:

Good lad! It might hurt to begin with, you might even receive shit for a while but hold your head up high and feel confident in your decision. Honestly, been there done that and much better for it. 

Pretty much everyone close to me has said that I should bin her, and I'm not really one for discussing my personal life with people.

My brother and his partner both called me last night to tell me that she is a psychopath and that I shouldn't get back with her.

I knew that already though, but sometimes you think that you can fix people if you love them enough. You can't. 

[Richey Edwards]

My parents are fine and I'm returning to work tomorrow.

I have a confession to make. I was being very unkind in describing my girlfriend, because at the time I was very angry with her.

She is a lovely and kind person who unfortunately has her own problems. These were part of what happened originally that made us fall out, and I should have been more understanding than to throw around words like "lovebombing" and "psychopath".

I wish things had turned out better, but I had no right to slag her off like that and I'm ashamed that I said such things about her.

However, we part on good terms.

[buchan30]

My parents are fine and I'm returning to work tomorrow.
I have a confession to make. I was being very unkind in describing my girlfriend, because at the time I was very angry with her.
She is a lovely and kind person who unfortunately has her own problems. These were part of what happened originally that made us fall out, and I should have been more understanding than to throw around words like "lovebombing" and "psychopath".
I wish things had turned out better, but I had no right to slag her off like that and I'm ashamed that I said such things about her.
However, we part on good terms.

Good stuff about your parents. We all say stuff in the heat of things sometimes, don’t beat yourself up about it. Things would have been very raw and you stressed and emotional as you wrote it.

[Richey Edwards]

4 minutes ago, buchan30 said:

Good stuff about your parents. We all say stuff in the heat of things sometimes, don’t beat yourself up about it. Things would have been very raw and you stressed and emotional as you wrote it.

She is aware that I have been saying negative things about her in anger, which has contributed to us ending and she says she will never forgive me for it.

I was angry and needed to vent, but I shouldn't have done it in the way that I did. I was an asshole to do that.

She had a lot of good qualities and was the best girlfriend I have ever had. I am going to miss her.