Depression

[Jacksgranda]

6 hours ago, D.A.F.C said:

I've went back to a skeleton staff and now being asked to do the same amount of stuff that three people normally do.
The boss keeps saying take your time and dont worry but at the same time he flings people under the bus when senior management come calling.
Added to that they've ran out of quality new parts so I'm churning through all the shite that's just been put back into production.
All of the time and what I'm doing is logged so no real worries but I received a back to work letter saying that in the future I could be furloughed to protect the business.
Daft me thinking it was for health and safety, have to say that side of things is ok. They have ppe and sanitiser.

Got an email from a recruiting agency asking if I wanted to apply for another role. Quite shocked that people are looking to employ new staff atm.

I dont mind working hard, I always put in 100% but im not daft and they're asking six staff to do the work of ten or more. Also the staff that get put into my section to help dont know it so I end up reworking half of it.

I'd still rather be there than sitting at home for another couple of months though. Getting worrying for the other staff, if management realise that ten people can do the work of twenty then they will keep it that way. Hope not.

I said that at the start of this. A lot of jobs will disappear between firms not starting up and bosses/management/business owners seeing more work getting done by fewer workers/in less time.

Edited May 23, 2020 by Jacksgranda
sllepnig

[D.A.F.C]

I said that at the start of this. A lot of jobs will disappear between firms not starting up and bosses/management/business owners seeing more work getting done by fewer workers/in less time.

That's true but short sighted. I'm sure liverpool could play five games a week but after two weeks they would be knackered.

[D.A.F.C]

Why are you still there? You need to get out ASAP 
Not having a go, but from what you've posted about that place it isn't doing you any good at all. You owe them absolutely nothing but they seem to have taken loads from you, including your mental wellbeing. 
It isn't worth it at all, and it won't change, and neither will your situation. You need to be the change, as hard as that may be.

Appreciate your comment, I know I need to make the change but not sure at the moment. I was commenting on what philpy said and that it looks like lots of people are experiencing the same things.
By being called back I see that as a tool for negotiating later. There is lots of perks about my work so its difficult to find something with same pay and conditions.
Plus locality.
Just remove half a dozen bawbags and replace them with people who want to help the company not themselves.

[DA Baracus]

1 hour ago, D.A.F.C said:

Appreciate your comment, I know I need to make the change but not sure at the moment. I was commenting on what philpy said and that it looks like lots of people are experiencing the same things.
By being called back I see that as a tool for negotiating later. There is lots of perks about my work so its difficult to find something with same pay and conditions.
Plus locality.
Just remove half a dozen bawbags and replace them with people who want to help the company not themselves.

Yeah, I get that. It's hard to make the change for many reasons.

You need to decide if the perks and pay and conditions are worth it though. I think you know that removing the bawbags will never happen, and even if they were punted the culture would mean more bawbags would be hired. From what you've said before I can't imagine they'd be particularly open to negotiation.

Ask yourself, is your mental health, and by extension possibly your physical health, worth the wage? Break it down. Say you earn £27k. Is your life worth £27k?

It's not a defeat to accept that you've done all you can and that know anything else you can do can't make a difference.

I don't mean this as a criticism, but you're too loyal. Loyalty is a very admirable trait, but they've massively taken advantage of you. You don't deserve that and they don't deserve your loyalty.

Edited May 23, 2020 by DA Baracus

[DA Baracus]

10 hours ago, Thereisalight.. said:

Sorry to hear that. As others have said phone in sick and have a few days to yourself to recharge or go out walking I feel the weather is nice. In my last job I worked with two faced bitches and it really got me down for the last few months I was there. I felt like ending things was the only way out. With help from my now ex, I was able to find a new job that I love and I felt happier at work than I’d felt for about 8 years! 

Lockdown certainly isn’t helping anyone and especially those of us who struggle with mental health at the best of times. I miss my work so much and tbh I don’t think I’ll be back working again this year (I’m in the events industry). I also struggle with regrets and heartache about my last relationship ending. I lost my Dad in Feb. Just seems like one thing after another and there’s been so many times in the last few months I’ve wanted to fall asleep and never wake up. Please know you’re not alone in how you feel. There’s good guys on this thread who always listen and offer support. Know you’re not alone and we’re here to listen to you 

Disagree that lockdown isn't helping folk.

Appreciate that I'm probably in the exemptions, but I imagine plenty of folk who are able to work from home are not missing the commute and are loving the extra time in bed in the morning and having more time to themselves in general.

Anyway, hopefully the Scottish government plan will give you some hope that you'll be back at work this year. Just last week Jason Leitch said he was hoping to get a gig in October/November (can't mind which month!).

[Thereisalight..]

30 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

Disagree that lockdown isn't helping folk.

Appreciate that I'm probably in the exemptions, but I imagine plenty of folk who are able to work from home are not missing the commute and are loving the extra time in bed in the morning and having more time to themselves in general.

Anyway, hopefully the Scottish government plan will give you some hope that you'll be back at work this year. Just last week Jason Leitch said he was hoping to get a gig in October/November (can't mind which month!).

Yeah I can see how that would be beneficial to a lot of people. Just sucks for people like me with depression and now no job to get up for in the morning. I’ve tried setting alarms etc but I’ve not woken up before midday for weeks now. I hope so but with each passing week it’s seeming more and more unlikely. 2020 is effectively cancelled. Just don’t know how long I can go on for tbh. I’m tired of living 

[DA Baracus]

22 minutes ago, Thereisalight.. said:

Yeah I can see how that would be beneficial to a lot of people. Just sucks for people like me with depression and now no job to get up for in the morning. I’ve tried setting alarms etc but I’ve not woken up before midday for weeks now. I hope so but with each passing week it’s seeming more and more unlikely. 2020 is effectively cancelled. Just don’t know how long I can go on for tbh. I’m tired of living 

Yeah, know it sucks for many folk and it's a shit situation for many.

I was unemployed for a while between 2012-2013 and it was shite. Like you I struggled to get up before midday. Even when I did I'd feel exhausted. Was definitely one of my lowest times, if not the bottom.

You're at you're lowest I think. From what you've said circumstances have absolutely flattened you, and then coronavirus came along. You haven't caught a break and it probably feels like you won't again, but you will again. You will man. 

You don't owe anyone but yourself. You shouldn't keep going for anyone but yourself. Don't feel that lying down and finally giving in is wrong because of what anyone else thinks or feels. It's wrong because at the moment you do it you'll regret it. You'll realise you've made the worst mistake and can't go back on it.

To quote one of my favourite songs:

 

I wish there was something i could say
To erase each and every page that you've been through
Even though its not my place to save you

I appreciate but can't accept this thank-you note
Thats sealed with your last breath
I won't stand aside and listen to you give up

If you'll just hold on for one more second
Just hold on to what you have
If you'll just hold on, just hold on
You will wake up tommorrow

Edited May 23, 2020 by DA Baracus

[DA Baracus]

 

 

 

 

 

Edited May 23, 2020 by DA Baracus

[DA Baracus]

 

 

 

 

 

[Thereisalight..]

26 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

Yeah, know it sucks for many folk and it's a shit situation for many.

I was unemployed for a while between 2012-2013 and it was shite. Like you I struggled to get up before midday. Even when I did I'd feel exhausted. Was definitely one of my lowest times, if not the bottom.

You're at you're lowest I think. From what you've said circumstances have absolutely flattened you, and then coronavirus came along. You haven't caught a break and it probably feels like you won't again, but you will again. You will man. 

You don't owe anyone but yourself. You shouldn't keep going for anyone but yourself. Don't feel that lying down and finally giving in is wrong because of what anyone else thinks or feels. It's wrong because at the moment you do it you'll regret it. You'll realise you've made the worst mistake and can't go back on it.

To quote one of my favourite songs:

 

I wish there was something i could say
To erase each and every page that you've been through
Even though its not my place to save you

I appreciate but can't accept this thank-you note
Thats sealed with your last breath
I won't stand aside and listen to you give up

If you'll just hold on for one more second
Just hold on to what you have
If you'll just hold on, just hold on
You will wake up tommorrow

Fck, reading that made me emotional. Thanks

[DA Baracus]

1 hour ago, Thereisalight.. said:

Fck, reading that made me emotional. Thanks

Anytime my friend. 

Please don't struggle alone. I'm happy to hear from you if you ever want to get in touch.

Edited May 24, 2020 by DA Baracus

[Thereisalight..]

58 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

Anytime my friend. 

Please don't struggle alone. I'm happy to heat from you if you ever want to get in touch.

I appreciate that. It means a lot to know an internet stranger cares. Thanks again

[DA Baracus]

18 minutes ago, Thereisalight.. said:

I appreciate that. It means a lot to know an internet stranger cares. Thanks again

Sound.

I'm not just saying it though. If you want, fire me a PM. Say what you want/need. Be open and explicit. It'll be between us.

[harkinsbaldpatch]

The thing I love about this thread is even the people who are struggling themselves, are willing to help out others in need.

[NJ2]

I appreciate that. It means a lot to know an internet stranger cares. Thanks again

It’s not just DA either mate. Also extend his offer, feel free to fire me a message if you ever want. I’ll never claim to be able to solve anyone’s problems but I’ll always certainly listen. None of us are struggling alone, struggling maybe but we’re all here for each other.

[D.A.F.C]

Ditto all the comments. Theres some really good people on here.
I find sharing experiences and taking about it really helps. Sometimes that's easier with strangers.

[Thereisalight..]

I thought I’d post here to vent seeing as it’s late and as usual I can’t get to sleep. So many thoughts running through my head. I’ve been missing my old man a lot. Always when I’m trying to get to sleep the memories of his last day in hospital go over and over in my head. How I was there when he died. How my mum and I knew he was going to die but we didn’t tell him. I watched a programme about the FA Cups top 50 moments the other night and I cried because I know he’d have loved watching it. I definitely have a love/hate relationship with football now since he passed away. Earlier on my neighbour and I were chatting out the back and she mentioned my ex and her new guy/fiancé. Just fcks me up to know less than 10 months ago we were “loved up”, and now she’s engaged to someone new and I’m a piece of shit to her. I really wish I had my work to help distract my dark thoughts a bit. 

[Stellaboz]

There's nothing wrong in thinking about your dad. My parents passed away a couple of years ago and I don't exaggerate when I say there's rarely a day goes by that I don't think of them both in some respect. It's good that you are thinking of them, this is a positive thing, even if some of the memories are really tough and heart breaking. 

Personally, I'm someone who pushes away my thoughts deep down away inside, so you should be proud that you are not. Everyone grieves differently and for different periods of time, just go easy on yourself and look after yourself, that's all you can do. 

As for your ex, I'm not best placed to tell you what is best because what worked for me might not be best for you. I was lucky that when I broke up with a toxic ex in the past I was able to devote my whole life to getting myself back in a good place mentally, physically (eventually!) and career wise. It'd be easy for me to say forget her, it's clear that it is not. That's not such a bad thing either, it just takes time to get over. What I do recommend is trying VERY hard not to compare your life to hers. This is unfair on yourself. 

[Dons_1988]

Some very heartening stuff in the last few pages.

I've regurgitated my battles on this thread a few times so I won't bore people again but also open to a PM if anyone ever wants to discuss anything.

[Thereisalight..]

4 hours ago, Stellaboz said:

There's nothing wrong in thinking about your dad. My parents passed away a couple of years ago and I don't exaggerate when I say there's rarely a day goes by that I don't think of them both in some respect. It's good that you are thinking of them, this is a positive thing, even if some of the memories are really tough and heart breaking. 

Personally, I'm someone who pushes away my thoughts deep down away inside, so you should be proud that you are not. Everyone grieves differently and for different periods of time, just go easy on yourself and look after yourself, that's all you can do. 

As for your ex, I'm not best placed to tell you what is best because what worked for me might not be best for you. I was lucky that when I broke up with a toxic ex in the past I was able to devote my whole life to getting myself back in a good place mentally, physically (eventually!) and career wise. It'd be easy for me to say forget her, it's clear that it is not. That's not such a bad thing either, it just takes time to get over. What I do recommend is trying VERY hard not to compare your life to hers. This is unfair on yourself. 

Thanks bud. I do push thoughts and feelings deep inside, but more and more they’re becoming so much to contend with and they’re rising and I’m breaking  down in tears.  I think it was because my Dad passed away unexpectedly. It was a shock and it’s been hard to get my head around. I went from seeing him every day to now not seeing him at all and it kills me. 

Im glad to hear you got back to a good place after splitting with your ex. I hope that day comes for me, and soon! I know it’s unfair to make comparisons between my life and hers, but it’s so hard not to. She’s happily loved up, and my life has went to shit since the break up. Just seems unfair that good things are happening to such a bitch