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Depression


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2 minutes ago, Silverton End said:

Been reading the last page or so, sounds like you are well shot of her, sorry if that seems harsh but avoid any contact.

As others have said, get out on your walks, and get into a routine while this lockdown is going on.

Get up at a set time, line up a dvd movie or 2, some music or a book,  tidy up, try some cooking, some banter on P&B.

Been a hard time for you but you'll get through it 👍

There are plenty of folks on here who'll lend an ear too.

And don't forget the suncream tomorrow's going to be 18°c

He shouldn't listen to lying b*****ds like you.  They said it would be roasting today.  It was fucking Baltic..   apart from that, very good advice  

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15 minutes ago, Silverton End said:

Been reading the last page or so, sounds like you are well shot of her, sorry if that seems harsh but avoid any contact.

As others have said, get out on your walks, and get into a routine while this lockdown is going on.

Get up at a set time, line up a dvd movie or 2, some music or a book,  tidy up, try some cooking, some banter on P&B.

Been a hard time for you but you'll get through it 👍

There are plenty of folks on here who'll lend an ear too.

And don't forget the suncream tomorrow's going to be 18°c

 Cheers fella. I’m glad I’m still able to go my walk. If I didn’t have that, I’d have even more time to brood about her and my Dads passing, and now no work. Getting up at a set time I see my problem! I usually wake at 8.30 then decide to fall back asleep until midday at the earliest. I have nothing to get up early for now. I’ll certainly need the sun cream, pale and pasty I’ve been known to burn in Feb 😬

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1 hour ago, Thereisalight.. said:

If she had a new guy within a few months it wouldn’t have hurt me as much, it still would have hurt as I truly believe she was “the one”, but it was a few WEEKS, just made me think that I was easily replaceable and that the years we spent together couldn’t have meant much if she was able to move on to someone new so quickly. 

Almost 18 years ago I met a girl and we clicked, she ditched her boyfriend and things moved at whirlwind pace and within a few weeks I thought “this is it”. I vividly remember the revelation while smoking a cigarette out of the bedroom window (ex smoker, seems weird now!) that I’d met “the one” and I was head over heels.

Fast forward another 4 weeks and she dropped me like a stone. It absolutely destroyed me, trying to understand how she could have gone from declaring her undying love to deleting me from her life. It took me at least 6 months to even begin to process it. What I know now is she very definitely wasn’t “the one”. She was a selfish manipulative arsehole. 

I went through another longer term relationship which ended badly (bought a flat together etc) but ultimately it made me realise you need to trust yourself and your instincts  - I tried to get out of that one several times after about 2 years together but still ended up buying a flat and all that stuff because you think you are doing the right thing.

I eventually had the courage of my convictions to get out of what was pretty much an abusive relationship (on the psychological level) after another couple of years and am in a good place now with a family and someone who genuinely is “the one”.  I remember weighing up the pros and cons of ending the previous relationship and it was terrifying at the time but thank goodness I did. 
 

Trust yourself. Nice people often get trampled by selfish twats but things will work out in the end. Stay strong and true to yourself.
 

 

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2 minutes ago, Thereisalight.. said:

 Cheers fella. I’m glad I’m still able to go my walk. If I didn’t have that, I’d have even more time to brood about her and my Dads passing, and now no work. Getting up at a set time I see my problem! I usually wake at 8.30 then decide to fall back asleep until midday at the earliest. I have nothing to get up early for now. I’ll certainly need the sun cream, pale and pasty I’ve been known to burn in Feb 😬

Just try & get yourself up when you wake around 8.30, I honestly know that can be hard when you are feeling low, but a routine can be a big help.

I've had depression 25 years, some days I don't want to get up, but I make myself get up, then other days I'm manic, up early, out with dog, washing on, vacuuming, cooking etc, routine is key, as hard as it is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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4 minutes ago, Snobot said:

Almost 18 years ago I met a girl and we clicked, she ditched her boyfriend and things moved at whirlwind pace and within a few weeks I thought “this is it”. I vividly remember the revelation while smoking a cigarette out of the bedroom window (ex smoker, seems weird now!) that I’d met “the one” and I was head over heels.

Fast forward another 4 weeks and she dropped me like a stone. It absolutely destroyed me, trying to understand how she could have gone from declaring her undying love to deleting me from her life. It took me at least 6 months to even begin to process it. What I know now is she very definitely wasn’t “the one”. She was a selfish manipulative arsehole. 

I went through another longer term relationship which ended badly (bought a flat together etc) but ultimately it made me realise you need to trust yourself and your instincts  - I tried to get out of that one several times after about 2 years together but still ended up buying a flat and all that stuff because you think you are doing the right thing.

I eventually had the courage of my convictions to get out of what was pretty much an abusive relationship (on the psychological level) after another couple of years and am in a good place now with a family and someone who genuinely is “the one”.  I remember weighing up the pros and cons of ending the previous relationship and it was terrifying at the time but thank goodness I did. 
 

Trust yourself. Nice people often get trampled by selfish twats but things will work out in the end. Stay strong and true to yourself.
 

 

Yip mate that’s exactly it, it’s hard to process one minute she’s declaring undying love and the next you’re dropped and deleted. I’m “glad” that someone else took months to process it as we’ll. it’s  not an easy thing at all, especially after years together

sounds like you had two horrors. Glad you got you’re happy ending! I’ve had 3 relationships, two cheated and the latest one was a headfuck. Makes me wonder if being a nice guy is actually a curse! 

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2 minutes ago, Silverton End said:

Just try & get yourself up when you wake around 8.30, I honestly know that can be hard when you are feeling low, but a routine can be a big help.

I've had depression 25 years, some days I don't want to get up, but I make myself get up, then other days I'm manic, up early, out with dog, washing on, vacuuming, cooking etc, routine is key, as hard as it is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wakening yo and staying awake at 8.30 would maybe be feasible, but I can never get to sleep until about 2am, even when I wake early and get to bed early I still lie awake until then. Sorry to hear you’ve had to suffer it for so long! I’ve had it on and now off since I was 16 so about 18 years for me. This has been the worst spell of it though

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57 minutes ago, Thereisalight.. said:

Yip mate that’s exactly it, it’s hard to process one minute she’s declaring undying love and the next you’re dropped and deleted. I’m “glad” that someone else took months to process it as we’ll. it’s  not an easy thing at all, especially after years together

sounds like you had two horrors. Glad you got you’re happy ending! I’ve had 3 relationships, two cheated and the latest one was a headfuck. Makes me wonder if being a nice guy is actually a curse

It really isn't, and thinking that is a touch narcissistic.

Don't take that as an insult or a slagging; I don't mean it to.

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5 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

It really isn't, and thinking that is a touch narcissistic.

Don't take that as an insult or a slagging; I don't mean it to.

I said it in jest. I’m too much of an empath to be a narc. Although I’d trade my empathy in to be a narc I reckon 😏

Edited by Thereisalight..
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2 minutes ago, Thereisalight.. said:

I said it in jest. I’m too much of an empath to be a narc. Although I’d trade my empathy in to be a narc I reckon 😏

Ha, seems like it might be a good trade sometimes but I'd personally hate that.

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6 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said:

You don't need to have depression to post here, afaik.

Thanks.

Not just the coronavirus. Got sevcoed & worrying about my family.

All round shitfest.

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6 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said:

Please share as much as you are comfortable with, there’s some really good people on this forum who will try to help.

Thanks mate.

Just feel that more folk have worse stuff going on.

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I’ve been having  few bad days, to go with a few bad months. Been really teary, missing my Dad and knowing my love of football won’t ever be the same again without him to chat to about it. It’s my birthday soon and my first without him, and I keep thinking back to previous birthdays my ex and I spent together. I’m missing her too, despite her being a bitch. I’m also anxious about my Mum passing away, as when she goes I’ll have nobody to live for. Depression and anxiety together is terrible 😞

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