hearthammer Posted December 31, 2019 Share Posted December 31, 2019 2 minutes ago, pandarilla said: That's a huge thing to find out - so please don't think you're over-reacting. Nothing is wrong with you. Don't worry about him in the slightest. He'll cope, and at some point he'll be back to try and sort something out. Is there anyone you can talk to about this? Panda's right, Mo. Do you have a long standing friend (female or male) who is a trusting mate ?? Please call them and explain your situation. Just seen your reply. Call one of his sisters. I can assure you that they'll be with you on this one. They'll also be extremely pissed off with their brother. Don't sit and stew over this alone. The sisters will understand how you're feeling and will make sure you're the priority. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted December 31, 2019 Share Posted December 31, 2019 7 minutes ago, Jambomo said: I can actually talk to his sisters, whom I regard as friends. I can’t talk to my family as, although I get in brilliantly with them, they can tend towards telling me what to do and flying off the handle and basically I don’t want anyone to know. If you don't want anyone to know I'd seriously think about calling the Samaritans, just to talk with someone who will listen and not judge. 116 123 https://www.samaritans.org/scotland/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/talk-us-phone/ 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambomo Posted December 31, 2019 Share Posted December 31, 2019 I have heard from his sisters that he is ok so I am going to head to bed. See how things are in the morning. Thank you for the advice 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambomo Posted December 31, 2019 Share Posted December 31, 2019 I will also call the samaritans 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted December 31, 2019 Share Posted December 31, 2019 I’ve sent you a pm. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savage Henry Posted December 31, 2019 Share Posted December 31, 2019 There are some damn good people on Pie and Bovril. Follow their advice, but put your head into the correct frame for dealing with a shitty morning and making incremental steps from there. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted January 1, 2020 Share Posted January 1, 2020 All the best to each and every last one of you going through shite times, new year, hopefully new us 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambomo Posted January 1, 2020 Share Posted January 1, 2020 Just to say thanks to those who have been kind enough to comment and PM me. I am a lot calmer now and just wanted to say I appreciate your help. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sureiknow Posted January 1, 2020 Share Posted January 1, 2020 4 hours ago, Raidernation said: Looks like I’ll be in my own tonight. Ah well early toned I guess Never on your own Mate. Random folks on here are always wishing you and others the best. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophia Posted January 1, 2020 Share Posted January 1, 2020 13 minutes ago, Jambomo said: Just to say thanks to those who have been kind enough to comment and PM me. I am a lot calmer now and just wanted to say I appreciate your help. Urgency is as much an enemy as it is an imposter. I wish you a good night's sleep and a softer light in the morning. If you are a friend then you have a friend's love. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted January 1, 2020 Share Posted January 1, 2020 This thread has always been respected as a place where usual P&B nonsense doesn’t venture. Some times posting to a bunch strangers is easier than talking to nearest. Lots of us with a whole range of diagnosis and lived in experience and if that means we can help another when in easier times by sharing what maybe worked for us and someone else finds it effective, good. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djchapsticks Posted January 1, 2020 Share Posted January 1, 2020 4 hours ago, Jambomo said: Sorry to post here but I don’t know where else to go. This has turned out to be the worst day ever. I caught my partner last March/April cheating on me when he got pissed and I saw texts from him to a married woman. He said they ended it and we decided to try again. We tonight I found some more so it’s still going on. He’s left the house. He’s really drunk (because we were at the pub earlier) and doesn’t have many clothes with him so I am stupidly worrying about him. I destroyed his phone when I found the texts so can’t even call him. We were together 14 years. I just can’t take it. He was my best friend, we spent so much time together and I don’t find making friends easy so I am pretty much alone without him. I know it’s pathetic, I AM pathetic. I know it. I tried to cut my arm but the knives here aren’t even sharp enough. I can’t stand it. I can’t stand myself for letting myself get to this. I can’t even hate him enough not to fucking worry about him. WTF is wrong with me? Nothing is wrong with you mate, absolutely nothing. It's a fucking sledgehammer blow...things hit you in life that completely waylay you and sometimes you don't know how to cope. Please try to keep the head up, ride it out for a few days and you'll honestly get a bit of clarity of mind and hopefully you'll feel better. There's nothing pathetic about you or the state of mind you feel, you give a f**k about him and can't switch that off in an instant after 14 years. So what? That is perfectly normal. None of this is your fault. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djchapsticks Posted January 1, 2020 Share Posted January 1, 2020 (edited) To add to my previous post, I log into here every day. I'm not someone who is in anyway qualified to remedy any issues anyone may be having but I am willing and happy to lend a sympathetic and understanding ear to anyone on this thread (or who hasn't posted here or doesn't feel comfortable doing so) to just vent to. Honestly, please feel free to speak confidentially. I'm happy to listen, talk or anything. Edited January 1, 2020 by djchapsticks 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambomo Posted January 1, 2020 Share Posted January 1, 2020 On a scale of 1-10, how awful would I look if I went into his Facebook acciunt and told everyone about their affair? This would mean both her and her husband would see it. I do not know if her husband knows. actually I know it’s a shit, petty, humiliating thing for me to do hence I am posting here and not actually on Facebook. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows Posted January 1, 2020 Share Posted January 1, 2020 It would be tempting to do that, but think about her husband. Hes done nothing to deserve being humiliated online. Would contacting him directly ve an option? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambomo Posted January 1, 2020 Share Posted January 1, 2020 (edited) 52 minutes ago, HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows said: It would be tempting to do that, but think about her husband. Hes done nothing to deserve being humiliated online. Would contacting him directly ve an option? No, I don’t have means of making contact with him. i’m not going to, I would just took like a trashy arsehole. I’ll just sit on P & B and talk about doing it. Would be nice though Edited January 1, 2020 by Jambomo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted January 1, 2020 Share Posted January 1, 2020 Be dignified, don’t become the stereotyped psycho ex. That just give him ammo! plus you’d be destroying the other guys life so you’d become the bad guy which you aren’t. Hold you head high and let him see you flourish without him! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted January 1, 2020 Share Posted January 1, 2020 On a scale of 1-10, how awful would I look if I went into his Facebook acciunt and told everyone about their affair? This would mean both her and her husband would see it. I do not know if her husband knows. actually I know it’s a shit, petty, humiliating thing for me to do hence I am posting here and not actually on Facebook.Yeah as tempting as this sort of thing can be, and would feel good for a nanosecond, the fallout/aftermath isnt worth it. It doesn't help you move on, and it doesn't square with the fact that you deserve better treatment than you have received. I know you be feeling shame and humilated at being cheated on, thats natural but you just need to remember you did f**k all wrong. Carry on that way. Head high. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scmwell Posted January 1, 2020 Share Posted January 1, 2020 Changed from citalopram to venlafaxine in the last month, feel worse than ever I feel the life being sucked from me. Relationship a mess feel like we should ge a divorce but scared of consequences kids financial etc 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted January 1, 2020 Share Posted January 1, 2020 Well, like I predicted new year came in alone.After one stepdaughter left at around 6pm I didn’t actually speak to another person until she came back at around 11:30 this morning.2 text messages but apart from that no human contact for near 18 hours.I’m sad, but I’m not going to let it f**k me up 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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