Depression

[johnnydun]

1 minute ago, Snafu said:

 

 

I phoned my mother's friend this evening and it was a lot easier than I expected and she was calmer than I was. She never said but I got the impression she already knew something hadn't been right for while.

I was an absolute bag of nerves towards the end of the call and for about half an hour after.

I'll get on the phone again tomorrow.

Well done mate.

And getting right back on it the morn!

[johnnydun]

Just catching up with this thread.

@jagfox99 so sorry to hear about your loss earlier in the week. My thoughts are with you mate.

[hearthammer]

1 hour ago, D.A.F.C said:

Best wishes jagfox, sorry to hear about your loss.

 

Also condolences from me Jagfox.  just visited this thread for the first time today.   

[101]

Condolences Jagfox, feel free to PM me any time.

[Shotgun]

Nothing to say that hasn't already been said but @jagfox99, please add my condolences to the others. My own Mum spent her last few years living with dementia and I'll always be grateful to my sisters for carrying that load while I was miles away. Keep talking and let us know how you're getting on.

[Rugster]

13 hours ago, jagfox99 said:

Thanks for the kind words folks. Much appreciated ❤

Very sorry for your loss mate. 

[Dons_1988]

That’s me finished work until the new year. Very conscious that i have a tendency to over indulge in this period and it does the head no favours. Will be making sure I’m not an idiot about it.

Hope everyone in here stays sensible and looks after themselves over this period. Can be a great time and a really shite one too.

Also condolences to the lads who have lost loved ones recently, my thoughts are with you.

All the best everyone.

[Dosser-fae-the-shire]

The nearer it gets to Christmas the worse I feel. My dad was one of my best pals and it breaks my heart that I’ll never see him again. Sorry for annoying everyone.

[Dons_1988]

The nearer it gets to Christmas the worse I feel. My dad was one of my best pals and it breaks my heart that I’ll never see him again. Sorry for annoying everyone.

 

Don’t be ridiculous, no one in here would be annoyed.

 

A horrendous thing to happen. Reach out in here as much as you need.

[RH33]

Hate this time of year. 
condolenced jagfox

[ParsJake]

7 minutes ago, Dosser-fae-the-shire said:

The nearer it gets to Christmas the worse I feel. My dad was one of my best pals and it breaks my heart that I’ll never see him again. Sorry for annoying everyone.

My feelings exactly, lost my dear old dad last month and I've been dreading the run up to Christmas. I'm sure it won't actually be as bad as I'm thinking it will be, things never usually are, but this time of year really ramps up the sense of loss. Even though he couldn't be arsed with Christmas I don't like the idea of him not being here for it. I just miss him.  If only Christmas had an opt-out clause...

[Rugster]

14 hours ago, Dosser-fae-the-shire said:

The nearer it gets to Christmas the worse I feel. My dad was one of my best pals and it breaks my heart that I’ll never see him again. Sorry for annoying everyone.

You’re not annoying anyone. Post as much as you like if it helps. I’m sorry for your loss. 

[Aufc]

The nearer it gets to Christmas the worse I feel. My dad was one of my best pals and it breaks my heart that I’ll never see him again. Sorry for annoying everyone.

Never feel bad for feeling like this mate. I lost my mum when i was 28. She had been battling cancer and i knew it was coming. I had spoken to her the night before and was going to visit her at the weekend but then got a call at 4am to say she had passed. I know how you feel. The feeling of not being able to ever speak to that person again. You feel like you have so much you wanted to say. So much stuff has happened in my life that my mum would have been the first person to know.

I don’t know when your old man passed but it does get easier. You never fully get over it and times like xmas bring it all back. Surround yourself with friends and family.

[D.A.F.C]

Not sure why I want to post this here or what I expect to gain from doing it but here goes.

Been really trying to self improve and ignore work stuff but been pulled back down last week into negative thinking due to comments made by colleagues and a manager hinting or saying directly that I'm some sort of problem or to be dealt with by being sacked. Comments like this have been going on for a long time which makes it worse because I'm in a state of constant churning or worrying about it.
Have tried to escalate, got denied as a joke then repeated by senior management as if I'm non existent standing beside them.
It seems to come in waves that come from jarring comments from out of nowhere and sometimes from colleagues who I thought were decent and up until then friendly.
The main protagonist is protected by people above them who also act in the same manner.
It's also the treatment of simple things like just trying to do my job and get hassle for things that is just normal.
e.g. everyone put x in y if I do 'ah here hes doing it again' oh ffs lol
If i try to stand up for myself apart from being denied it gets flipped into I'm greeting about nothing but the same people accusing me do worse or moan more.
I know its not just me but it really badly affects me mentally and got bad yesterday before a day out where I was threatened again and then someone hoped I choked on my food. Very christmassy.
I genuinely dont moan that much and do my best to help people but over the years I feel that I've been demonised over nothing but other peoples insecurities or projections.
I do have a long written record of comments but had to stop due to it taking up time after work and making me feel bad by reliving it all.
In the grand scheme of things its not as bad as a relative passing but the inability to effectively deal with it makes it difficult.
From a legal point of view the company handbook defines any act of bullying as gross misconduct. Surely being told that you're to be got rid of regularly means that either the manager is a total moron or thinks they can do anything and get away with it. The same people had a lassie in tears and made people fight each other yet everything is supposedly very happy. It's all a lie and theres underlying issues that's causing all the hostility and it gets projected onto a few harder and more conscientious workers.

I know the only answer unfortunately is to find another job and I'm sorry for ranting about this crap again but to spend xmas thinking my time is limited is horrible.
Sorry for being like a long playing stuck record but I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
Btw as for paranoia I dont feel this way in any other situation or place what so ever.

[Bairnardo]

Not sure why I want to post this here or what I expect to gain from doing it but here goes.

Been really trying to self improve and ignore work stuff but been pulled back down last week into negative thinking due to comments made by colleagues and a manager hinting or saying directly that I'm some sort of problem or to be dealt with by being sacked. Comments like this have been going on for a long time which makes it worse because I'm in a state of constant churning or worrying about it.
Have tried to escalate, got denied as a joke then repeated by senior management as if I'm non existent standing beside them.
It seems to come in waves that come from jarring comments from out of nowhere and sometimes from colleagues who I thought were decent and up until then friendly.
The main protagonist is protected by people above them who also act in the same manner.
It's also the treatment of simple things like just trying to do my job and get hassle for things that is just normal.
e.g. everyone put x in y if I do 'ah here hes doing it again' oh ffs lol
If i try to stand up for myself apart from being denied it gets flipped into I'm greeting about nothing but the same people accusing me do worse or moan more.
I know its not just me but it really badly affects me mentally and got bad yesterday before a day out where I was threatened again and then someone hoped I choked on my food. Very christmassy.
I genuinely dont moan that much and do my best to help people but over the years I feel that I've been demonised over nothing but other peoples insecurities or projections.
I do have a long written record of comments but had to stop due to it taking up time after work and making me feel bad by reliving it all.
In the grand scheme of things its not as bad as a relative passing but the inability to effectively deal with it makes it difficult.
From a legal point of view the company handbook defines any act of bullying as gross misconduct. Surely being told that you're to be got rid of regularly means that either the manager is a total moron or thinks they can do anything and get away with it. The same people had a lassie in tears and made people fight each other yet everything is supposedly very happy. It's all a lie and theres underlying issues that's causing all the hostility and it gets projected onto a few harder and more conscientious workers.

I know the only answer unfortunately is to find another job and I'm sorry for ranting about this crap again but to spend xmas thinking my time is limited is horrible.
Sorry for being like a long playing stuck record but I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
Btw as for paranoia I dont feel this way in any other situation or place what so ever.

Regardless of whether you have a collective agreement with a union, you need to join one and seek legal advice from them. Then you need to go and speak to whoever you spoke to before that made a joke of it, and tell them that you wish to invoke your companies grievance procedure, and that as you will no doubt have the right to be accompanied, this will be a union official/lawyer that accompanies you. As with all grievance procedures, if they fail to resolve it to your satisfaction, you will have the right to go above them.

It wont take ling before you find the person who knows the seriousness of you sitting there with a lawyer in tow and they will kill ot stone dead.

I know this is easier said than done, but what you describe is not only serious misconduct but it is doing you serious harm. The stakes are high here mate you are going to need to be brave and go after these people otherwise nothing is going to change.

[Shandon Par]

Russel Brand’s Recovery book was a huge help to me for getting away from a few problem areas of my life. It’s his take on the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous but the programme can help with any sort of destructive attachment be it problems with booze, drugs, sex, relationships, work @D.A.F.C 

You might not want to buy the book but you could do a free trial with Audible, for example and get it as an audiobook. I was a bit resistant to it at first as it touched a nerves s was just too painful but at the second run at it I found it quite profound and inspirational to see that you don’t have to have booze, drugs, ciggs, destructive relationships etc to function in life. 

He does these wee snippets on YouTube now that maybe give a sense of it. I liked the Audiobook as it felt reassuring to hear someone who has done all the bad behaviour you’ve probably done but has come through it and appears to be a role model for keeping away from booze, drugs etc. 

 

[D.A.F.C]

Thanks. I think confrontation is my major issue get stuck into a comfort zone and hope things will somehow get better.
Will definitely check that book out.
Regarding a lawyer or union I've looked folk up but left it. Part of the reason for that is fear of confrontation or knowing that will probably escalate it to a conclusion.
The most insidious thing is the denial and Jekyll and Hyde nature of people. One minute are you sure you're not imagining it then catching them red handed or hearing them at it. There really is something majorly wrong there with the workplace and the quality of the people.
Appreciate the advice and know that next year I really need to do something about it.
Tried to speak to a family member and the advice was to ignore it which is useless.

[Bairnardo]

Thanks. I think confrontation is my major issue get stuck into a comfort zone and hope things will somehow get better.
Will definitely check that book out.
Regarding a lawyer or union I've looked folk up but left it. Part of the reason for that is fear of confrontation or knowing that will probably escalate it to a conclusion.
The most insidious thing is the denial and Jekyll and Hyde nature of people. One minute are you sure you're not imagining it then catching them red handed or hearing them at it. There really is something majorly wrong there with the workplace and the quality of the people.
Appreciate the advice and know that next year I really need to do something about it.
Tried to speak to a family member and the advice was to ignore it which is useless.

I am not a confrontational guy by nature but theres a breaking point and it should always be before the thing you do in exchange for money starts ruining your real life.

Take these c***s to task. Its literally that or leave.

[johnnydun]

1 hour ago, D.A.F.C said:

Thanks. I think confrontation is my major issue get stuck into a comfort zone and hope things will somehow get better.
Will definitely check that book out.
Regarding a lawyer or union I've looked folk up but left it. Part of the reason for that is fear of confrontation or knowing that will probably escalate it to a conclusion.
The most insidious thing is the denial and Jekyll and Hyde nature of people. One minute are you sure you're not imagining it then catching them red handed or hearing them at it. There really is something majorly wrong there with the workplace and the quality of the people.
Appreciate the advice and know that next year I really need to do something about it.
Tried to speak to a family member and the advice was to ignore it which is useless.

Like @Bairnardo says, 

I think fight or flight is the only way for this.

You owe these c***s f**k all. Do you think they would give a shit if you lost your job, got sacked or were forced to quit? Well it's time for you not to care if you upset them and take things to the top. How dare they make you feel that way at work. 

Edited December 21, 2019 by johnnydun

[Brother Blades]

Thanks. I think confrontation is my major issue get stuck into a comfort zone and hope things will somehow get better.
Will definitely check that book out.
Regarding a lawyer or union I've looked folk up but left it. Part of the reason for that is fear of confrontation or knowing that will probably escalate it to a conclusion.
The most insidious thing is the denial and Jekyll and Hyde nature of people. One minute are you sure you're not imagining it then catching them red handed or hearing them at it. There really is something majorly wrong there with the workplace and the quality of the people.
Appreciate the advice and know that next year I really need to do something about it.
Tried to speak to a family member and the advice was to ignore it which is useless.

Sorry to hear about these issues, when you consider you spend roughly 1/4 of your adult working life, at work, it’s a major consideration for anyone if things aren’t going well & making you unhappy.
I’m of the opinion that fight is the best thing to do in this instance, contact your HR department & ask for a meeting, let them know that you will be taking notes in order that you can pass these onto your solicitor. That should wake the fuckers up that this is a case of bullying in the workplace. Bullying takes many forms & this is a pretty clear cut case. f**k them.
Mainly, try to put it out of your mind for the festive period (easier said than done, I know), enjoy family time & im sure any poster on this section of the forum would be happy to help via DM, I know I would.