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Been struggling the past 3 days keep breaking out in tears for no reason, part of me thinks that might as well not be here but the same time i know thats not me. Honestly feel all over the place you feel alone yet same time you cba with anyone. You want someone to talk to but the folk you know dont either understand, or you dont want to bother anyone with your issues as at the end of the day the only person that can snap me out of it is me, or i get the great word of advice "can you not just cheer up"

Mate, you’ll find this area of the forum is a great sounding board & a lot of the posters on here can & will give you great advice having gone through similar to how you are feeling now.
It’s an excellent place to talk out your problems & if you want to open up about the possible reasons for feeling the way you are.
Best of luck mate.
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5 minutes ago, oaksoft said:

 

It looks like you've swapped one addiction (alcohol) with another addiction (running).

 

Makes a lot of sense. I can do this with anything. At times it's coffee. Fags. Bevvy. Anything, really.

Good shout.

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1 hour ago, AL-FFC said:

Been struggling the past 3 days keep breaking out in tears for no reason, part of me thinks that might as well not be here but the same time i know thats not me. Honestly feel all over the place you feel alone yet same time you cba with anyone. You want someone to talk to but the folk you know dont either understand, or you dont want to bother anyone with your issues as at the end of the day the only person that can snap me out of it is me, or i get the great word of advice "can you not just cheer up"

That last line just makes things worse.  I know, I've been there.

I formerly went through a time when I would just stand in the shower most mornings and weigh up the pros and cons of going for the non-reversible option that day as I felt more of a burden than not.  With hindsight, such thoughts are clearly a symptom of a mental illness, but if you're like me then it feels like you're the one actively making that decision at the time, and feel worse for it.  If you can, view and seek treatment for it as you would any other illness and don't feel bad or weak about it.  Writing what you did and hitting that 'Submit Reply' button shows you're not. 

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4 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

That last line just makes things worse.  I know, I've been there.

I formerly went through a time when I would just stand in the shower most mornings and weigh up the pros and cons of going for the non-reversible option that day as I felt more of a burden than not.  With hindsight, such thoughts are clearly a symptom of a mental illness, but if you're like me then it feels like you're the one actively making that decision at the time, and feel worse for it.  If you can, view and seek treatment for it as you would any other illness and don't feel bad or weak about it.  Writing what you did and hitting that 'Submit Reply' button shows you're not. 

Thats exactly how i feel the thing is the groups i have been to are just talking about it every time i think i have turned a corner and found a way of coping it knocks me on my arse. tablets I am on help with my sleep but its just the mindset i need to sort out. right now it when i break down in tears thats flooring me i wish it would stop or i could call time on it and thats when i get those thoughts.

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Been struggling the past 3 days keep breaking out in tears for no reason, part of me thinks that might as well not be here but the same time i know thats not me. Honestly feel all over the place you feel alone yet same time you cba with anyone. You want someone to talk to but the folk you know dont either understand, or you dont want to bother anyone with your issues as at the end of the day the only person that can snap me out of it is me, or i get the great word of advice "can you not just cheer up"

You're definitely not bothering anyone on here. This time of year is tough. Also agree about people who give useless advice.

I've had, just speak to someone.

Oh aye. Like who?

Get out more.

You could quite easily invite me out. But no.

 

Most of the time if I'm looking sad or pissed off people just throw more stones or give it a sigh or similar.

 

Most people have their own life and although posting all sorts of banners and memes on facebook about mental illness run a mile when confronted.

 

If anyone wants to chat then I'm more than willing to try to help.

 

 

Edit, I've had more help and encouragement and understanding on here than from actual people related or supposed to be friends. Would encourage anyone to speak up here.

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2 minutes ago, AL-FFC said:

Thats exactly how i feel the thing is the groups i have been to are just talking about it every time i think i have turned a corner and found a way of coping it knocks me on my arse. tablets I am on help with my sleep but its just the mindset i need to sort out. right now it when i break down in tears thats flooring me i wish it would stop or i could call time on it and thats when i get those thoughts.

This is part of the issue.  If you ever catch a nasty virus, you don't say "I need to sort this out" or "I should be calling time on this" whenever you have an involuntary chunder as a symptom of the illness.

 

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1 minute ago, D.A.F.C said:

You're definitely not bothering anyone on here. This time of year is tough. Also agree about people who give useless advice.
I've had, just speak to someone.
Oh aye. Like who?
Get out more.
You could quite easily invite me out. But no.

Most of the time if I'm looking sad or pissed off people just throw more stones or give it a sigh or similar.

Most people have their own life and although posting all sorts of banners and memes on facebook about mental illness run a mile when confronted.

If anyone wants to chat then I'm more than willing to try to help.
 

TBH this is the one place that i know or feel at home or no one gets judgey i dont like bothering folk at the best of time.

I dont know if anyone else has ever had it where they break down in tears for no reason, am ok when i get to the gym for a bit then get home its almost like you wake up to being back to where you are.

 

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3 minutes ago, AL-FFC said:

I dont know if anyone else has ever had it where they break down in tears for no reason, am ok when i get to the gym for a bit then get home its almost like you wake up to being back to where you are.

Perhaps you perceive the gym as being a place where you can go for a run to 'get away from it' or 'feel better', and by doing so subconsciously view your home as being a (or the) place of negativity?

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3 minutes ago, AL-FFC said:

TBH this is the one place that i know or feel at home or no one gets judgey i dont like bothering folk at the best of time.

I dont know if anyone else has ever had it where they break down in tears for no reason, am ok when i get to the gym for a bit then get home its almost like you wake up to being back to where you are.

 

Have you referred yourself for CBT or anything like that?

I burst into tears at work one day and my employer was really helpful in taking me to a doctor, then to a mental health nurse. From there I was put forward for CBT but you can refer yourself to the mental health nurse at any time. I'm on a waiting list for CBT which is due to start early next year, but I've had 2 meetings with a nurse since then which helped me a lot more than I thought it would. It's not for everyone I don't think, but even by that second meeting I'd realised a couple of things I had to change immediately about my life, and others that I would need to work hard at over time. 

Your employer will be obliged to help you with any of this stuff too, don't ever be afraid to go to your HR and ask for help, maybe someone pushing you towards help will make a difference, rather than you worrying about where you're going to get help from.

I wish you all the best, just try to keep telling yourself that this feeling you have is only temporary and the tears will pass.

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Just now, The Moonster said:

Have you referred yourself for CBT or anything like that?

I burst into tears at work one day and my employer was really helpful in taking me to a doctor, then to a mental health nurse. From there I was put forward for CBT but you can refer yourself to the mental health nurse at any time. I'm on a waiting list for CBT which is due to start early next year, but I've had 2 meetings with a nurse since then which helped me a lot more than I thought it would. It's not for everyone I don't think, but even by that second meeting I'd realised a couple of things I had to change immediately about my life, and others that I would need to work hard at over time. 

Your employer will be obliged to help you with any of this stuff too, don't ever be afraid to go to your HR and ask for help, maybe someone pushing you towards help will make a difference, rather than you worrying about where you're going to get help from.

I wish you all the best, just try to keep telling yourself that this feeling you have is only temporary and the tears will pass.

Self Employed contractor unfortunately the nature of the job i do doesnt help much in the mental health side of things.  in the process of changing jobs.  I was paying my own way for CBT  think i prob need to look at few more sessions to help.

Thanks to everyone for the replys and advice got me in tears again (in a good way so thank you)

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Look after yourself al.

Don’t waste too much energy berating yourself for feeling shite. Been there, done that. Nearly packed it all in.

Time to be selfish and look after yourself, do whatever you need to help yourself whether it’s medical or otherwise.

Share whatever you like on here, we’re all absolute reprobates so nothing to be embarrassed or apologetic for.

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Self Employed contractor unfortunately the nature of the job i do doesnt help much in the mental health side of things.  in the process of changing jobs.  I was paying my own way for CBT  think i prob need to look at few more sessions to help.

Thanks to everyone for the replys and advice got me in tears again (in a good way so thank you)

I’ve said it often, but I’ll reiterate, this thread is the best part of the forum, we are all human & have frailties. The thing we have in common is the love of football,?Doesn’t matter what team you support, the bond is inbuilt, ffs we’ve all followed our teams through bad periods, and we should do the same to each other.
Glad to hear you are greeting for a different reason today, the people on this thread are magnificent specimens (apart from the Dees! Lol). You can DM me anytime.
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2 hours ago, AL-FFC said:

TBH this is the one place that i know or feel at home or no one gets judgey i dont like bothering folk at the best of time.

I dont know if anyone else has ever had it where they break down in tears for no reason, am ok when i get to the gym for a bit then get home its almost like you wake up to being back to where you are.

 

I was like this for 18 months, although I knew the reason for it. It was horrible and uncontrollable, just a massive wave of emotion would come over me. I’d refused to get help in that time, but I came home one day to my wife and Doctor sitting waiting on me,  they dished a few telts out, I got on board and never looked back. All the best with this bud

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My dad passed nearly 3 weeks ago, after failing for over a year. I thought I’d have it under control when the time came, 82, good innings etc but I’m broke by it. As you say the numbness and dreams, the emptiness and helplessness which has got worse since the funeral. I’m also proud though, the way we all dealt with his passing, especially in his last weeks and days as a family. You stay strong bud


I’ve basically been the exact same since January when the missus and I went through the miscarriage. Loss, in a sort-of different way, but with the same resulting feelings and emotions. I cannot wait to see the back of 2019. It can honestly get so far to f**k.
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Guest Moomintroll
TBH this is the one place that i know or feel at home or no one gets judgey i dont like bothering folk at the best of time.

I dont know if anyone else has ever had it where they break down in tears for no reason, am ok when i get to the gym for a bit then get home its almost like you wake up to being back to where you are.

 
Honestly have been there so many times, think I am fine, feelings start swirling & before I know it, I am in floods of tears. I then get frustrated at myself for being that way & the cycle continues. I try to use the headspace app as much as I can when I go that way as it usually eventually brings me back but I always feel utterly emotionally exhausted & embarrassed afterwards which I can't shake off even if no one else has witnessed it.
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5 minutes ago, 8MileBU said:

 


I’ve basically been the exact same since January when the missus and I went through the miscarriage. Loss, in a sort-of different way, but with the same resulting feelings and emotions. I cannot wait to see the back of 2019. It can honestly get so far to f**k.

 

I’ll drink to that mate, it can f**k right off for me

1 minute ago, Moomintroll said:
2 hours ago, AL-FFC said:
TBH this is the one place that i know or feel at home or no one gets judgey i dont like bothering folk at the best of time.

I dont know if anyone else has ever had it where they break down in tears for no reason, am ok when i get to the gym for a bit then get home its almost like you wake up to being back to where you are.

 

Honestly have been there so many times, think I am fine, feelings start swirling & before I know it, I am in floods of tears. I then get frustrated at myself for being that way & the cycle continues. I try to use the headspace app as much as I can when I go that way as it usually eventually brings me back but I always feel utterly emotionally exhausted & embarrassed afterwards which I can't shake off even if no one else has witnessed it.

It was the embarrassment that got to me, I was avoided like the plague by people, although I did understand  why

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Thanks lads, feeling a bit better. i thought the crying thing was just me and the last 3 days havent been able to pick myself up, i can go days/weeks where i feel fine then like i say it just hits me for 6 once i think i have it under control.  Its the thought of this hanging over me the rest of my days as i know its never truly going to go away.  I even go through spells of being unable to answer the phone as just dont want to speak to people. I know inside me that best thing is being around people or speaking but times i just dont want to face either.

really is horrible as f**k and wouldnt wish anything like this on anyone.

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It was the embarrassment that got to me, I was avoided like the plague by people, although I did understand  why
Why did people avoid you?
I feel the same, like its incredibly difficult to connect. At school or with others until in became withdrawn it seemed easy but when you're at school everyone pretty much likes and does the same things.
I think I need some sort of professional to help with why I cant fix confidence. Is it due to lack of validation or guidance from friends? What was telling was when I did connect with a few old friends and they asked questions as if I was a mental case like did I still have a job.
Personally if it was me and an old friend became withdrawn I would have went out of my way to help. I see people come out of jail or are just bad news and they reconnect with people. This is what i dont understand.
Sorry if this is a bit ranty.
Maybe I need to find validation in myself first? How?
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17 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said:

Why did people avoid you?
I feel the same, like its incredibly difficult to connect. At school or with others until in became withdrawn it seemed easy but when you're at school everyone pretty much likes and does the same things.
I think I need some sort of professional to help with why I cant fix confidence. Is it due to lack of validation or guidance from friends? What was telling was when I did connect with a few old friends and they asked questions as if I was a mental case like did I still have a job.
Personally if it was me and an old friend became withdrawn I would have went out of my way to help. I see people come out of jail or are just bad news and they reconnect with people. This is what i dont understand.
Sorry if this is a bit ranty.
Maybe I need to find validation in myself first? How?

They avoided me because I was a mess, if you did dare to stop and speak to me, not many did it twice. Some people just don’t feel comfortable with other people’s grief or problems. Mine were very public at the time, which is par for the course in a small community. I had quite a few friends beforehand, I came out with one and what a friend he is. Professional help I’d recommend, it certainly helped me

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10 hours ago, AL-FFC said:



I dont know if anyone else has ever had it where they break down in tears for no reason,

 

Been there, mate. In the past and still happens occasionally. It's not just you. I'm happy to take a DM any time and so are loads of others on this thread.

 

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