Depression

[Jacksgranda]

18 hours ago, Shandon Par said:

Being sober is a great step but it's not a magic cure for everything. Doing those hours probably wouldn't be much easier with a hangover. That sounds tough about the girls being far away. There are maybe things you could do to relax but also keep them in mind - like writing to them (even if they can't read yet - not sure what age they are) and just being kind to yourself. It can take a bit of adjustment to living sober. Long baths, cups of tea, a run or walk good books or magazines - make the most of your time away from work. 

If his girls can't read by now, I don't think they ever will, they're all grown up and married, as far as I know. (They're all adults, anyway).

I drank a lot of coffee, none of the other stuff you mention. AA meetings and keeping in touch with members worked for me, although I haven't been at a meeting in about 20 years now.

[Guest JTS98]

A year ago today, more or less to the minute, I was messing about with my phone checking train times looking for a chance to top myself.

Sitting in my flat eating a pizza waiting to watch Hearts lose. Still here.

This thread is a great thing and, while it was quite a sobering experience, reading back through some of it from a year ago has been a good exercise in keeping the mind sharp. One day at a time.

[Dons_1988]

A year ago today, more or less to the minute, I was messing about with my phone checking train times looking for a chance to top myself.
Sitting in my flat eating a pizza waiting to watch Hearts lose. Still here.
This thread is a great thing and, while it was quite a sobering experience, reading back through some of it from a year ago has been a good exercise in keeping the mind sharp. One day at a time.

I love hearing stuff like this (the recovery not where you were!).

A year ago today I was on the worst holiday of my life. Fat, at my lowest point and didn’t want to live. Turning point being my wife breaking down and telling me for months she felt I was there in body but not in mind or spirit, that she desperately wanted to help me but she didn’t know how.

From the day I got back from that holiday I have worked everyday to claw my way back and I am completely transformed. It’s never too late and this thread is fantastic for it.

[NJ2]

[mizfit]

Mentioned beforehand on this thread that ive been going to Andy’s Man Club. Not sure if it’s of value or would interest anyone, but they meet at 7 every Monday in the following locations -


Mcdiarmid Park, Perth

Erskine Building, Dunfermline

Boomerang community Centre, Dundee

Collydean community Centre, Glenrothes

The group has certainly helped me out with how I feel and act.

[Raidernation]

If his girls can't read by now, I don't think they ever will, they're all grown up and married, as far as I know. (They're all adults, anyway).
I drank a lot of coffee, none of the other stuff you mention. AA meetings and keeping in touch with members worked for me, although I haven't been at a meeting in about 20 years now.

Not married but 2 are mums, ages from35 to 20.
I spoke to them and they know how I’m feeling getting plenty support so I’m damn sure I’ll make it.

[RH33]

On 02/09/2019 at 21:29, Rowan said:

Three day crisis admission last week as was danger to self. Once overwhelming crisis had settled a bit came home.

I find hospital only helpful when I absolutely loose ability keep self safe. Then I’m better being at home. 

Psychiatrist and I tend to be in same page which helps.

 

Recovery never simple. 

Kids being outstanding, they’ve always had age appropriate exploration. They’re only young too.

 

[scotfree]

On 10/09/2019 at 20:46, G_Man1985 said:

Has anyone had Electroconvulsive therapy?
Mum has been offered it however right now she has refused it. Going to see doctor on Thursday to get a bit more information about it.
29 days she has been in carsview for, a little longer stint this time. However not a lot of progress this time round.

I was offered it, but said no. 

[Robin.Hood]

I was offered it, but said no. 

Looking like Mum is gonna go through with it. We are on day 34 I think ( may be just less or more ) and if anything things have went backwards.
No other options been put on the table certainly for her.

[scotfree]

Just now, G_Man1985 said:

Looking like Mum is gonna go through with it. We are on day 34 I think ( may be just less or more ) and if anything things have went backwards.
No other options been put on the table certainly for her.

I've heard good and bad about it. Hoping it's good for your mum. 34 days is a long time, so it's well worth a try. Fingers crossed for your mum, mate. Can't be easy on you and the family.

[Guest Moomintroll]

Recovery never simple. 
Kids being outstanding, they’ve always had age appropriate exploration. They’re only young too.
 

It never is, thankfully you can recognise the signs and self refer yourself to minimise the danger. Hope you are on a decent upswing now & things are going as well as they can.

[Raidernation]

I’m not having a great time of it.
Basement flooded in the sober house, I’ve two ruined guitars.
Kids being little shits at school is stressful, is it me, is it them, I want it to work. Oh, because they fired a teacher 3weeks ago I’m picking up all that extra slack as well.
For the most part family is good but one daughter just moved to Virginia and I’m worried about that.
The girl’s uncle (I may have explained this before) is being a total c nut to me when no one else is around (I suspect he wants me to fail)
It’s hard and I really just want to run away and get drunk.

I’m still sober but it’s f ucking trying me

[Guest Moomintroll]

I’m not having a great time of it.
Basement flooded in the sober house, I’ve two ruined guitars.
Kids being little shits at school is stressful, is it me, is it them, I want it to work. Oh, because they fired a teacher 3weeks ago I’m picking up all that extra slack as well.
For the most part family is good but one daughter just moved to Virginia and I’m worried about that.
The girl’s uncle (I may have explained this before) is being a total c nut to me when no one else is around (I suspect he wants me to fail)
It’s hard and I really just want to run away and get drunk.

I’m still sober but it’s f ucking trying me

Keep the faith RN, you have got through the hardest part so the bumps in the road, even though they seem massive at the time, are nothing in comparison to what you have conquered already.

[Robin.Hood]

I've heard good and bad about it. Hoping it's good for your mum. 34 days is a long time, so it's well worth a try. Fingers crossed for your mum, mate. Can't be easy on you and the family.

Just been told there is a waiting list for this.
She is on diazepam the now which she seems to be doing alright on. Never in a million years think it would come to all this. But yeah still in there and still not looking likely to coming out. Kinda at the point it's part of life heading to carsview every second day.
Just aye, it is what it is.

Nice enough day so gonna take her for a wee walk around the grounds this afternoon i think.

Its certainly changed the way I think about certain things.
For example I was reading about the tay bridge being closed , usually figure it is because of someone who is thinking/going to jump. The girl who tried was in my mums ward the next day ( was in a different ward that evening but spaces here are pretty hard to come by ). The story I wont go into why she wanted to jump ( she got friendly with my mum ) but yeah she emitted herself out.
Plenty more stories but yeah we just gotta get on each day as it comes. I'm quite a positive person but when it takes a toll on other family members ( my dad) it can at times take a toll on myself. Just try and keep my mind busy and keep confident.

Dont know why I went on and on their.

Hopefully the sun stays for a little while longer

[Jacksgranda]

On 21/09/2019 at 06:11, Raidernation said:

I’m not having a great time of it.
Basement flooded in the sober house, I’ve two ruined guitars.
Kids being little shits at school is stressful, is it me, is it them, I want it to work. Oh, because they fired a teacher 3weeks ago I’m picking up all that extra slack as well.
For the most part family is good but one daughter just moved to Virginia and I’m worried about that.
The girl’s uncle (I may have explained this before) is being a total c nut to me when no one else is around (I suspect he wants me to fail)
It’s hard and I really just want to run away and get drunk.

I’m still sober but it’s f ucking trying me

Don't take a drink for as long as you can, and then start over. Even if it's 5 minutes at a time. And go and talk to somebody (who isn't drinking). And get rid of the uncle.

[Raidernation]

It will be 4 months tomorrow

[RH33]

4 weeks from sectioning to new job (very simple 3 hrs in nursery)

recovery takes work 

[D.A.F.C]

Stopped giving a f**k at work. Feel great about it.
Have applied for two promotions and got turned down despite knocking my pan in and even working extra for free.
Just coasting along doing the same as the people that used to frustrate me.
Just said to myself what's the point in trying so hard when it's actually working against me.
I genuinely dont care and it's a great feeling.

[Guest JTS98]

1 hour ago, D.A.F.C said:

Stopped giving a f**k at work. Feel great about it.
Have applied for two promotions and got turned down despite knocking my pan in and even working extra for free.
Just coasting along doing the same as the people that used to frustrate me.
Just said to myself what's the point in trying so hard when it's actually working against me.
I genuinely dont care and it's a great feeling.

Work is only work and if it was getting you down, then letting go of that is a good move.

Keep in mind though that it's good to have a bit of a focus and work can provide that. Although, if you get that from elsewhere then bash on and enjoy yourself. It's just a job.

[Dons_1988]

Stopped giving a f**k at work. Feel great about it.
Have applied for two promotions and got turned down despite knocking my pan in and even working extra for free.
Just coasting along doing the same as the people that used to frustrate me.
Just said to myself what's the point in trying so hard when it's actually working against me.
I genuinely dont care and it's a great feeling.

Yeah I’d echo JTS and just urge a little caution. Obviously I don’t know you or what you’re like but I went from hammering myself over work constantly to basically absolving myself of responsibility and not caring (or at least I thought so).

That backfired on me badly as I was lying to myself that I didn’t care and all that I found was that I did care and I’d just made an even bigger mess of things than before.

It’s about finding balance (for me), taking pride in your work, having a focus and discipline but not obsessing over promotions or what those above me think of me etc. It’s difficult to find the balance, I still struggle with it.