Depression

[Hedgecutter]

9 hours ago, buchan30 said:

 

You say that you are helping with a scout group which is fantastic, I do beavers and find it rewarding, it’s something that keeps your mind occupied. Its a shame that bellend had that effect on you, especially how tough it would have been for you to go out and try it. If you still had an interest in it i see on Facebook etc that a lot of scouts/cubs/beavers are starting to do geocaching.

 

Indeed, they even have a geocaching activity badge. I actually made up some exclusively for them, just custom designed tupperware boxes with clues / tokens (aka poker chips) that I put out from time to time for competitive purposes.   Saves the real ones getting trashed!

FWIW (completely unrelated to the thread): we had a map activity last week and eight scouts (aged ~12-13) didn't have a clue what a steeple was (i.e. the thing on the church they were supposed to turn right at, meaning half of them got lost). FFS. 

[Falkirk's 4th Stand]

I'm having a breakdown at 4 in the morning and fighting the very strong urge to just completely disappear without telling anyone and start again somewhere new I'm sitting at the train station and I genuinely might just get on whatever train comes first

[Stellaboz]

I'm having a breakdown at 4 in the morning and fighting the very strong urge to just completely disappear without telling anyone and start again somewhere new I'm sitting at the train station and I genuinely might just get on whatever train comes first

Hoping you didn't do this in the end? There's always another road even if you don't see it.

[Falkirk's 4th Stand]

Hoping you didn't do this in the end? There's always another road even if you don't see it.

Yeah sorry if I worried you or anything. Idk it just felt nice to actually write it out somewhere. I ended up calling my big sister and crying down the phone for an hour. But I feel better now!!

[Stellaboz]

No apologies needed. A good cry is healthier than most people give it credit.

[RH33]

Never apologise. If it helped to type it then great. Mental health crisis is a scary place to be in. Well done for being able to call someone for help.

[Stellaboz]

I've just walked out of an office before a big party I've been invited to.

Where I work, I sometimes go to a smaller office for various things and don't know too many people. Everyone's nice but I'm not a part of the every day going on there.

Had to come over for something tight before it starts and said I'd stay but started feeling anxious and left with an excuse send electronically.

Almost everyone already a few drinks down and I just don't fancy any, nor being around anyone drunk after 5 days of partying until Wednesday coming home from the Belgium game.

I'm on a wee bit of a come down and don't feel ashamed by it, but wanted to share incase anyone else feels like this and thinks they're alone.

[AL-FFC]

1 minute ago, Stellaboz said:

I've just walked out of an office before a big party I've been invited to.

Where I work, I sometimes go to a smaller office for various things and don't know too many people. Everyone's nice but I'm not a part of the every day going on there.

Had to come over for something tight before it starts and said I'd stay but started feeling anxious and left with an excuse send electronically.

Almost everyone already a few drinks down and I just don't fancy any, nor being around anyone drunk after 5 days of partying until Wednesday coming home from the Belgium game.

I'm on a wee bit of a come down and don't feel ashamed by it, but wanted to share incase anyone else feels like this and thinks they're alone.

nothing to be ashamed of, i've been on a low for a few days now and just broke into tears for no reason, cant express how much i hate having this hang over me, can be fine one minute and for no reason burst out crying. I can now understand why people take suicide as a way out.

[mizfit]

I’ve been feeling like crap internally for a few months.

Tonight I managed to fall out with my girlfriend, and my family because I didn’t want to do something and it’s made me feel even worse.

I’ve had a long shit day and just wanted a night on the couch and an early night, instead I get berated for forgetting to call the dentist over a check up before basically being told I was doing something without discussing it first. Because I said no I’ve been made to feel worse.

Sometimes I feel like upping and walking from all, but I’ve not got the balls to do it.

[NJ2]

I’ve been feeling like crap internally for a few months.

Tonight I managed to fall out with my girlfriend, and my family because I didn’t want to do something and it’s made me feel even worse.

I’ve had a long shit day and just wanted a night on the couch and an early night, instead I get berated for forgetting to call the dentist over a check up before basically being told I was doing something without discussing it first. Because I said no I’ve been made to feel worse.

Sometimes I feel like upping and walking from all, but I’ve not got the balls to do it.

We all have those days, try not beat yourself. Can phone the dentist Monday and book a check up. Your girlfriend and family just wanted to spend time all together, suggest next weekend? Or if it’s a big issue, just go along with it but explain, calmly, you’ve had a shite day and probably won’t be great company - once you’re there it’ll probably be enjoyable. Try not be too hard on yourself, or others, even though it’s difficult. If you want to rant to someone without an argument feel free to dm [emoji106]

[Bairney The Dinosaur]

That’s me at the lowest I’ve felt. Hard to explain it but feeling a bit like my life is being dictated to me. Couple months back now my girlfriend persuaded me to go to the doctors, so I did. The guy was very understanding and referred me to a councillor they have, but I haven’t heard anything since.

Things got a bit worse from here but councillor has now been seen a couple times and everything is starting to feel a bit more stable.

I’m having a real problem with helping my girlfriend understand how I’m feeling, it’s very intense and causes a lot of arguments which even when I’m having a good day pulls me right down. Arguments tend to be around me not wanting to go out and do things with her family/friends and I’m not doing as much around the house. I can see exactly how it’s really hard for her but many days I just can’t bring myself to do anything, let alone housework/seeing her family. Anyone had the same problem?

[bobbykdy]

13 hours ago, Bairney The Dinosaur said:

Things got a bit worse from here but councillor has now been seen a couple times and everything is starting to feel a bit more stable.

I’m having a real problem with helping my girlfriend understand how I’m feeling, it’s very intense and causes a lot of arguments which even when I’m having a good day pulls me right down. Arguments tend to be around me not wanting to go out and do things with her family/friends and I’m not doing as much around the house. I can see exactly how it’s really hard for her but many days I just can’t bring myself to do anything, let alone housework/seeing her family. Anyone had the same problem?

Yeah, had the same problem for the last two years although it was through physical illness rather than depression though I dare a say a bit of that also crept in.  It got to the stage where you are planning how just to get through the week at work and can't wait until the weekend/holidays come round even though you have no motivation to do anything. 

I also just didn't want to be contacted by anyone. Have you tried explaining how you feel to her? If not it may just help.

Edited June 15, 2019 by bobbykdy

[RH33]

She is maybe not coping as well with out the routine working brings to life. But equally she doesn’t sound like she’s well enough to go out and volunteer in day a charity shop at moment.

Bi polar is a birth of a disease. Chances are she’ll always be on medication and she needs an on the ball psychiatrist monitoring it’s effectivbess.

My dad doesn’t really get mental health, think in part it’s a generational thing.

if it’s too much for you and wife then you havd to step back for your health but also the kids. Have a chat with local mental health charities and maybe social work to find out what, if any other services are available.

if foods a trigger, just don’t ask, unless she’s fading away, it’s not important. Spending harder but I’d be thinking about ensuring someone has power of atorny going forward. Or shift money to where it’s not so easy to access. 

My GP took my bank card at one point so I couldn’t get very far! 

[Stellaboz]

I broke down crying this morning after having more dreams involving my dad dying. I'm beginning to find that I really feel horrible not being there when he died, despite trying like f**k to help for months.

I think I'm feeling better for getting it out my system and talking to my gf again about it, but i know it won't be the last time I'm like this, as it's not even a year since he died.

It's also a vicious circle because my mum deserved a much better quality of life and my thoughts have always been consumed with mixed feelings over my dad, but I've nothing but love for her and I feel she's at peace.

[RH33]

3 hours ago, G_Man1985 said:

Yup she gave up the charity a few months back... sadly the reason for that was a staff member in there was stealing clothes from shop and selling on.. this didnt help with mum at all so best for her to step back.
The food is a strange as even though she dreads it she generally eats what my dad cooks ( he the cook and always has been).
We have the crisis team that come out every day to see her and they if anything have been so so. Cant let mum go to doctors or any appointment on her own because sadly all she does is tell fibs.
Dad keeps a food diary of what she eats.
30 odd years there was no signs or really anything and the last 2 years have just been unreal. We know this all stemmed back to when she gave birth to me ( was her first stint in carsview for 6 months )
Spending she has stopped completely as she struggles to get out and about never mind using a card. We have found that rather than asking her where she wants to go we just tell her to get her jacket on and away we go as if she finds out what is happening or who she will be with she usually phones that person up to basically piss off but when she is out about generally it can be a struggle but she does well ( went for walk around a small park but straight away she wanted home, we lasted 45 minutes until she seen sight of car again and wanted home ).
Her drugs she is on can depend on moods. From valium to diazepam ( she takes something else but cant think of name ) .

Just take each day as it comes.

While I typed this she took dads phone to phone to say she dosnt want any visitors today because she hasn't hung up her washing today ...
 

Valium and diazepam are the same thing! 

Mental health is a long road and I know people who are on no meds and some on lots of them. Everyone is different.

 

[RH33]

She’ll probably be on a mood stabiliser and possibly lithium as well.  The GP should have clear instructions from a consultant psychiatrist on her medication. No one else should be touching dosages or types.

Is she recieving psychotherapy as well?

[Melanius Mullarkey]

The mental health care system in Dundee has declined badly in the past 10-15 years.  The missus has been through it several times including admission to Carseview on a few occasions but getting any consistent psychiatry support is impossible it seems. Even getting a CPN is a struggle .  Used to have a decent support system but it’s just gone rapidly downhill. 

[RH33]

Sadly that’s the case in many areas. Psychiatrist are about as rare as hens teeth. 

I refuse to engage with the crisis team as in past all they do is assess me (usually making me worse in process) theb shrug shoulders and say nothing they can do. They really just go in and ensure people have taken daily medication. 

I had a crisis in September but I refused inpatient admission when i ended up in a&e. Last time I was in they were short staffed and you don’t get treatment. Muddled my way through with support from private psychologist and ever present GP. I happened have psychiatry apt the next week and he knew nothing about what had happened.

It’s a hugely underfunded area with growing demands on it.

[welshbairn]

My Dad used to get called in every few months for the last couple of years of severe dementia, he had the hat trick, including Alzheimer's. Different psychiatrist every time, asked him to spell World backwards, found it tricky myself, he had no chance and felt he'd disappointed everyone. Told there was nothing they could do and gave us a leaflet of advice that we knew off by heart. Fair enough that it's incurable, but why put him through a repeated exam/interrogation when the result is already known? Pointless exercise in box ticking. 

[RH33]

I’ve paid see private psychologist as it’s only way ensure consistency.