Depression

[DA Baracus]

3 hours ago, ayrshire_nomad said:

So, what's the starting point? Have an appointment in 2 weeks and dont have the first clue what to say, just know I cant carry on the way I'm going

Write down what you're feeling and why, or why you think.

You say you can't carry on the way you're going; that's your starting point. What is the way you're going? How does it make you feel? What do you want to change?

[ayrshire_nomad]

Write down what you're feeling and why, or why you think.
You say you can't carry on the way you're going; that's your starting point. What is the way you're going? How does it make you feel? What do you want to change?

Thanks

[Kuro]

23 hours ago, welshbairn said:

First time poster dragging out 7 year old posts? Yank76? I suspect a c**t. Take it to another thread.

 

3 hours ago, Bairnardo said:

3 hours ago, Yank76 said:

 
I have a main account that I'm not ready to open up on. I hope people can respect that instead of calling me a c**t.  Very hurtful. 
Maybe this isn't the place after all.

Bye then

These are two absolutely appalling posts and you should both be ashamed of yourselves.

[Raidernation]

Out and about on a pass today to visit a couple of sober living places to move into once I get discharged

[Sir Kevin Of Kilsyth]

4 hours ago, C. Muir said:

Quite funny how most of the points came from fouls, think the highest break was 8

Take the dogs out as much as you can be bothered mate. Done/does me the world of good with mine.

Pfftt I was cutting about like Alex Higgins in his prime before you turned up. 

Thats right PnB - depressed Clyde fans aw go for a game of snooker every now n then. The standard of the game was actually close to causing me a mini episode. And I thought I'd shit myself when I tried to lean my gut over the table. 

[DA Baracus]

Debt puts your life on hold. It's like it pauses you whilst other move forward 

[Raidernation]

Well I was discharged from residential treatment today and now I’m in a sober living house

[Melanius Mullarkey]

2 hours ago, Raidernation said:

Well I was discharged from residential treatment today and now I’m in a sober living house

Good to hear m9.

[Stellaboz]

Great news Raider

[NJ2]

Well I was discharged from residential treatment today and now I’m in a sober living house

Good news mate! One day at a time.

[Dons_1988]

4 hours ago, Raidernation said:

Well I was discharged from residential treatment today and now I’m in a sober living house

Top man

[Bairney The Dinosaur]

That’s me at the lowest I’ve felt. Hard to explain it but feeling a bit like my life is being dictated to me. Couple months back now my girlfriend persuaded me to go to the doctors, so I did. The guy was very understanding and referred me to a councillor they have, but I haven’t heard anything since.

[Acastus]

3 hours ago, Bairney The Dinosaur said:

That’s me at the lowest I’ve felt. Hard to explain it but feeling a bit like my life is being dictated to me. Couple months back now my girlfriend persuaded me to go to the doctors, so I did. The guy was very understanding and referred me to a councillor they have, but I haven’t heard anything since.

Stay strong. You will come through it, I have been there. 

[pittsburgh phil]

That’s me at the lowest I’ve felt. Hard to explain it but feeling a bit like my life is being dictated to me. Couple months back now my girlfriend persuaded me to go to the doctors, so I did. The guy was very understanding and referred me to a councillor they have, but I haven’t heard anything since.

Hang in there man. That's all you need to do right now.

[AL-FFC]

Been having issues with mines low point has lasted the last 3 days and struggling to pick myself up, having a reality check on things and in order to deal with it need to look at quitting my job giving myself a September cut off for that one as the jobs affecting me as i basically live where i work conditions are grim so no escape from it really other shut myself off in room at night.  

[Guest Moomintroll]

That’s me at the lowest I’ve felt. Hard to explain it but feeling a bit like my life is being dictated to me. Couple months back now my girlfriend persuaded me to go to the doctors, so I did. The guy was very understanding and referred me to a councillor they have, but I haven’t heard anything since.

Don't know where you are from m9, but if you are struggling find your nearest Acute Mental Health unit & go there. I have had to do that a couple of times when things were getting desperate, getting a block of sessions with a Counsellor can take some time but they can pull strings to speed it up if they believe you are at risk.

[Raidernation]

Well a week and a bit into sober living....
I’m still sober
I seem to be doing well (other people’s opinions)
I have a lot of job interviews

[Guest JTS98]

9 hours ago, Raidernation said:

Well a week and a bit into sober living....
I’m still sober
I seem to be doing well (other people’s opinions)
I have a lot of job interviews

Don't take the Killie job. If you give it a few days Levein's gig at Hearts might come up. Probably more money.

Great stuff, mate. Well done. Stick at it.

[Ex Machina]

Feel like this is the right place to share and apologies if this is quite long winded.
I've had a pretty torrid year which has left my mental health in pieces I guess. I was a relationship four over four years and lived together for three of those up until we split in March this year. About a year ago things really changed in the relationship and my partner seemed to make it her mission to make me as miserable as possible. She'd constantly put down anything I did, or any plans I'd make and begin controlling what I could and couldn't do, she would go in the huff if I suggested going out with my friends and was adamant I was having an affair with pretty much any woman I spoke to. I was oblivious at the time but it obviously did a number on me as I lose all self-confidence, I began to comfort eat and put on a lot if weight, I lost contact with some of my closest friends. It was just a bad situation. It hit a boiling point a few months ago however when I went on a mad week long drug frenzy (which is very out of character for me) and attempted to take my own life and I am only still here due to the handle of the rope snapping off and me waking up on the floor after falling unconscious. I was in shock and was struggling to breathe after it and phoned the emergency services as at this point I realised I didn't think I wanted to die. I was lucky to get off with damaged tissue in my neck and damaged vocal chords and was given the choice of remaining in hospital or travelling up to Scotland to be with my family to recover as they didn't trust me to be alone in London - I opted for the latter. Following this, I told my (now ex) partner that I couldn't be with her anymore.
Moving to Scotland and separating from her has done wonders for my mental health and it's made me realise that the past year has pretty much been a blur for me. One of my friends remarked last week that I was more like myself than they could remember me being in a long time. However I still have pretty dark and depressive thoughts, and there's days where I wont leave bed as I have no motivation for life but it was never going to be an easy fix to being positive again. It's only now that I can look back and see I was in an emotionally abusive situation and obviously being told you're a piece of shit constantly for a year would have taken a toll on anyone.
I guess at present, I just feel a bit broken mentally. Stupidly, all our debts were in my name so I've been lumped with thousands of pounds worth that I'll need to figure out how to pay off. I'm due to go back to work after being signed off for three months in a couple of weeks. I actually really enjoy my job and I've discussed with my line manager working from home four days and travelling into the office for one but as this is approaching I am beginning to get panicked as I am aware that my ex has transferred to our Scottish office (we work for the same organisation) and even though the chances of seeing her are slim, the chance of it happening is still worrying me.
I have met someone in the last couple of weeks and gone on a few dates with them and really want things to become more serious as I feel we really clicked and she makes me feel genuinely happy but I'm constantly paranoid about them getting bored of me or not being good enough as I also found out post-break up that my ex had been having an affair for a considerable amount of time.
I hate how one person could have such a detrimental impact on my life, especially at a relatively young age but it has left me in the state I'm in and I just have to keep thinking that if I really didn't want to be here, I wouldn't have phoned the ambulance but at the same time it's hard to lose this feeling.

[welshbairn]

31 minutes ago, ListerRRFC said:

Feel like this is the right place to share and apologies if this is quite long winded.

Sounds like you're recovering and sorting yourself out really well. Don't suppose there's a way to check if she's going to be around on your day in the office? 

If you do bump into her I'd try to be cooly polite then blank her as much as possible without being overtly hostile.

Edited May 25, 2019 by welshbairn