Depression

[Silverton End]

2 hours ago, DA Baracus said:

Feeling a bit poor. 

Just the same stuff.

I'm lonely, fat, in debt and in a job that bores me senseless. 

I feel stuck and can't get out. I have no qualifications and can't afford to go to university or night school, so will have to do the Open Uni, which I plan to. However that takes 6 years to complete. 6 years and I'll be 40, and will I really be any more employable by then?

I desperately feel like time is running out for me. I do want to have a family one day but feel that it's slipping away and is too late.

It's really acute now in that for about the last 8 months I have these worries and panics every single night I go to bed where they run through my head and won't stop.

The thought of suicide had become worryingly casual to me now as well. I don't envision it all the time but the concept of ending it comes too easily at times, if that makes sense. It's become less abstract in a way and doesn't seem as terrifying as it was to me before, which is itself really worrying.

It too often feels hopeless and helpless, as if I've had my time and I've wasted it. I've done nothing with my life. I've lost friends, been lonely and single, haven't travelled, have got myself in to debt making myself disgustingly fat, have no pension and no savings and no hope of ever getting a house of my own and have ruined my opportunities to get some sort of qualification. I hid away from the world from shame and depression for so long that it too often feels like it's too late to salvage it.

On a great weekend like this one I'd love to go for a pint but don't have any friends in Dundee and can't afford it anyway, as most of my money is usually gone within a week or 2 of getting paid. I struggle to see how I can get a better job just now as I feel that they'd take one look at me and judge me right away as fat and shit.

I've never enjoyed a summer as an adult. I've always covered myself up due to the shame of being so fat. I've never been on a holiday as an adult, let alone a summer holiday or a holiday with friends (I mean a proper week minimum). Before last year I hadn't been on a plane since 2007.

I need to move away, but can't afford it right now, and every week I'm stuck is another one wasted and it's so hard to come to terms with.

The future seems really bleak. I plan to lose weight and get myself in shape, starting tomorrow, and have mapped out a healthy eating and exercise plan. I fear it might be too late but need to try and finally do it. I hope that as I lose weight I get better mentally and gain confidence and start feeling optimism, but if that doesn't work I'm in a lot of trouble as it's really my only hope.

I often think what the point is as I don't have anything to live for. I have no purpose and barely anything to look forward to, aside from a trip in the summer, but after that nothing. I'll get up for work tomorrow and go in and sit bored beyond belief, and will start with my fitness plan, but really it's hard to see what it's all for. Part of me aches to rage against that but part of me begs to pull me under and submit.

Funnily I do feel decent a most of the time, at least better than I did before, but it's just when the thoughts hit me, and again it feels too late.

I know I just post the same stuff on here and it must be tedious but I have no other outlet, so feel free to skip this latest mewling output.

It's never too late for anything D A, get yourself out walking, it can be so therapeutic. A very easy way to get a bit fitter too, put some earphones on & tune out as you walk, give it a go mate.

You don't have to push too hard, if you feel anxious go walking early mornings when it's quieter or evenings.

Best wishes to you

[NJ2]

The death of a friend recently has just shattered me. There’s a void that simply can’t be filled. I know time heals and I have experienced many bereavements but this is a tough one. There was no long illness, no “in a better place now” or suchlike. Just gone. Irreplaceable. Been wallowing a bit with emotional songs and being a long weekend off and having a weekend away with just the missus has meant lots of time for reflection.
Sorry to crash in on the depression thread with what’s really just some temporary self pity but normally I’d just say I was fine and get on with it. Just needed to splurge it out there that I’m heartbroken just now. It feels selfish to say it though as my pain is just a fraction of what his nearest and dearest have to face. So now I have a layer of guilt for self pitying on top of the grief! 

Again, exactly what the thread is for mate.
Nobody need make any apology for posting their feelings in it. Also entirely understandable how you’re feeling.

[Bobby Skidmarks]

52 minutes ago, Shandon Par said:

The death of a friend recently has just shattered me. There’s a void that simply can’t be filled. I know time heals and I have experienced many bereavements but this is a tough one. There was no long illness, no “in a better place now” or suchlike. Just gone. Irreplaceable. Been wallowing a bit with emotional songs and being a long weekend off and having a weekend away with just the missus has meant lots of time for reflection.

Sorry to crash in on the depression thread with what’s really just some temporary self pity but normally I’d just say I was fine and get on with it. Just needed to splurge it out there that I’m heartbroken just now. It feels selfish to say it though as my pain is just a fraction of what his nearest and dearest have to face. So now I have a layer of guilt for self pitying on top of the grief! 

You should never feel guilty for sharing something like this. Sometimes it's easier speaking to c***s you don't know as some people don't like opening up so much to people you face on a day to day basis. 

I have never experienced anything like this so I have no words for you, just wanted to reiterate that everyone handles grief in different ways and it's not self pity. 

Cheers.

[Shotgun]

3 hours ago, DA Baracus said:

I feel stuck and can't get out. I have no qualifications and can't afford to go to university or night school, so will have to do the Open Uni, which I plan to. However that takes 6 years to complete. 6 years and I'll be 40, and will I really be any more employable by then?

You've had some good advice since your post DA, so I'll just add an observation made by a famous agony aunt here when someone wrote for advice on the same topic. Yes, if you do the OU course it'll take 6 years and you'll be 40 by the time you're done. But if you don't do it, in 6 years time you'll still be 40 and you won't have a degree. You'll feel a shit-ton better about yourself if you go for it.

[RH33]

I graduated from the ou in the summer. 18 years after I first set out to gain a BA! Life took some twists and turns and I’ll be in my 40’s before I have a career if my mental health lets me. But at least I can say I did it! Do a module to start. See if you enjoy studying, if you find getting marks back improves self esteem. Don’t look at it as 6 yrs. just a random module that takes your fancy. 

[D.A.F.C]

2 hours ago, Shandon Par said:

The death of a friend recently has just shattered me. There’s a void that simply can’t be filled. I know time heals and I have experienced many bereavements but this is a tough one. There was no long illness, no “in a better place now” or suchlike. Just gone. Irreplaceable. Been wallowing a bit with emotional songs and being a long weekend off and having a weekend away with just the missus has meant lots of time for reflection.

Sorry to crash in on the depression thread with what’s really just some temporary self pity but normally I’d just say I was fine and get on with it. Just needed to splurge it out there that I’m heartbroken just now. It feels selfish to say it though as my pain is just a fraction of what his nearest and dearest have to face. So now I have a layer of guilt for self pitying on top of the grief! 

I had a pal that was probably my best friend and he joined the armed forces and I lost contact after a while. I got in contact and was about to meet up when one day I get a phonecall from someone saying he was dead. No idea how and no way even to get to his funeral. It was brutal for about a year but it gets better. I just try and be thankful for the good times but i blame myself for not making more of an effort to get in touch earlier. I’m friends with his mum on Facebook and wondered if sending a nice message would help but I bottle it. Also i don’t think any friend would want anyone holding their life back or being upset. 

[Melanius Mullarkey]

4 hours ago, DA Baracus said:

Feeling a bit poor. 

Just the same stuff.

I'm lonely, fat, in debt and in a job that bores me senseless. 

I feel stuck and can't get out. I have no qualifications and can't afford to go to university or night school, so will have to do the Open Uni, which I plan to. However that takes 6 years to complete. 6 years and I'll be 40, and will I really be any more employable by then?

I desperately feel like time is running out for me. I do want to have a family one day but feel that it's slipping away and is too late.

It's really acute now in that for about the last 8 months I have these worries and panics every single night I go to bed where they run through my head and won't stop.

The thought of suicide had become worryingly casual to me now as well. I don't envision it all the time but the concept of ending it comes too easily at times, if that makes sense. It's become less abstract in a way and doesn't seem as terrifying as it was to me before, which is itself really worrying.

It too often feels hopeless and helpless, as if I've had my time and I've wasted it. I've done nothing with my life. I've lost friends, been lonely and single, haven't travelled, have got myself in to debt making myself disgustingly fat, have no pension and no savings and no hope of ever getting a house of my own and have ruined my opportunities to get some sort of qualification. I hid away from the world from shame and depression for so long that it too often feels like it's too late to salvage it.

On a great weekend like this one I'd love to go for a pint but don't have any friends in Dundee and can't afford it anyway, as most of my money is usually gone within a week or 2 of getting paid. I struggle to see how I can get a better job just now as I feel that they'd take one look at me and judge me right away as fat and shit.

I've never enjoyed a summer as an adult. I've always covered myself up due to the shame of being so fat. I've never been on a holiday as an adult, let alone a summer holiday or a holiday with friends (I mean a proper week minimum). Before last year I hadn't been on a plane since 2007.

I need to move away, but can't afford it right now, and every week I'm stuck is another one wasted and it's so hard to come to terms with.

The future seems really bleak. I plan to lose weight and get myself in shape, starting tomorrow, and have mapped out a healthy eating and exercise plan. I fear it might be too late but need to try and finally do it. I hope that as I lose weight I get better mentally and gain confidence and start feeling optimism, but if that doesn't work I'm in a lot of trouble as it's really my only hope.

I often think what the point is as I don't have anything to live for. I have no purpose and barely anything to look forward to, aside from a trip in the summer, but after that nothing. I'll get up for work tomorrow and go in and sit bored beyond belief, and will start with my fitness plan, but really it's hard to see what it's all for. Part of me aches to rage against that but part of me begs to pull me under and submit.

Funnily I do feel decent a most of the time, at least better than I did before, but it's just when the thoughts hit me, and again it feels too late.

I know I just post the same stuff on here and it must be tedious but I have no other outlet, so feel free to skip this latest mewling output.

 

54 minutes ago, G_Man1985 said:

Door is open for fives on Friday. Mozzamozza plays every so often and I met him through here. More than welcome

Do it. 

I can give you a lift if you want DA, if you’re still in the DD3 zone.

[D.A.F.C]

4 hours ago, DA Baracus said:

Feeling a bit poor. 

Just the same stuff.

I'm lonely, fat, in debt and in a job that bores me senseless. 

I feel stuck and can't get out. I have no qualifications and can't afford to go to university or night school, so will have to do the Open Uni, which I plan to. However that takes 6 years to complete. 6 years and I'll be 40, and will I really be any more employable by then?

I desperately feel like time is running out for me. I do want to have a family one day but feel that it's slipping away and is too late.

It's really acute now in that for about the last 8 months I have these worries and panics every single night I go to bed where they run through my head and won't stop.

The thought of suicide had become worryingly casual to me now as well. I don't envision it all the time but the concept of ending it comes too easily at times, if that makes sense. It's become less abstract in a way and doesn't seem as terrifying as it was to me before, which is itself really worrying.

It too often feels hopeless and helpless, as if I've had my time and I've wasted it. I've done nothing with my life. I've lost friends, been lonely and single, haven't travelled, have got myself in to debt making myself disgustingly fat, have no pension and no savings and no hope of ever getting a house of my own and have ruined my opportunities to get some sort of qualification. I hid away from the world from shame and depression for so long that it too often feels like it's too late to salvage it.

On a great weekend like this one I'd love to go for a pint but don't have any friends in Dundee and can't afford it anyway, as most of my money is usually gone within a week or 2 of getting paid. I struggle to see how I can get a better job just now as I feel that they'd take one look at me and judge me right away as fat and shit.

I've never enjoyed a summer as an adult. I've always covered myself up due to the shame of being so fat. I've never been on a holiday as an adult, let alone a summer holiday or a holiday with friends (I mean a proper week minimum). Before last year I hadn't been on a plane since 2007.

I need to move away, but can't afford it right now, and every week I'm stuck is another one wasted and it's so hard to come to terms with.

The future seems really bleak. I plan to lose weight and get myself in shape, starting tomorrow, and have mapped out a healthy eating and exercise plan. I fear it might be too late but need to try and finally do it. I hope that as I lose weight I get better mentally and gain confidence and start feeling optimism, but if that doesn't work I'm in a lot of trouble as it's really my only hope.

I often think what the point is as I don't have anything to live for. I have no purpose and barely anything to look forward to, aside from a trip in the summer, but after that nothing. I'll get up for work tomorrow and go in and sit bored beyond belief, and will start with my fitness plan, but really it's hard to see what it's all for. Part of me aches to rage against that but part of me begs to pull me under and submit.

Funnily I do feel decent a most of the time, at least better than I did before, but it's just when the thoughts hit me, and again it feels too late.

I know I just post the same stuff on here and it must be tedious but I have no other outlet, so feel free to skip this latest mewling output.

My advice from going from out of shape is find something you like doing exercising. Walking and eating healthily is a great start. Maybe try some circuit training in the house, you can get an exercise mat and maybe fitness bands for peanuts. Just do something every day. You will feel fitter and have more energy. Fives is good as long as you get a decent bunch but you do get dickheads like everything else. Don’t try to do too much and good luck.

[19QOS19]

Feeling a bit poor. 
Just the same stuff.
I'm lonely, fat, in debt and in a job that bores me senseless. 
I feel stuck and can't get out. I have no qualifications and can't afford to go to university or night school, so will have to do the Open Uni, which I plan to. However that takes 6 years to complete. 6 years and I'll be 40, and will I really be any more employable by then?
I desperately feel like time is running out for me. I do want to have a family one day but feel that it's slipping away and is too late.
It's really acute now in that for about the last 8 months I have these worries and panics every single night I go to bed where they run through my head and won't stop.
The thought of suicide had become worryingly casual to me now as well. I don't envision it all the time but the concept of ending it comes too easily at times, if that makes sense. It's become less abstract in a way and doesn't seem as terrifying as it was to me before, which is itself really worrying.
It too often feels hopeless and helpless, as if I've had my time and I've wasted it. I've done nothing with my life. I've lost friends, been lonely and single, haven't travelled, have got myself in to debt making myself disgustingly fat, have no pension and no savings and no hope of ever getting a house of my own and have ruined my opportunities to get some sort of qualification. I hid away from the world from shame and depression for so long that it too often feels like it's too late to salvage it.
On a great weekend like this one I'd love to go for a pint but don't have any friends in Dundee and can't afford it anyway, as most of my money is usually gone within a week or 2 of getting paid. I struggle to see how I can get a better job just now as I feel that they'd take one look at me and judge me right away as fat and shit.
I've never enjoyed a summer as an adult. I've always covered myself up due to the shame of being so fat. I've never been on a holiday as an adult, let alone a summer holiday or a holiday with friends (I mean a proper week minimum). Before last year I hadn't been on a plane since 2007.
I need to move away, but can't afford it right now, and every week I'm stuck is another one wasted and it's so hard to come to terms with.
The future seems really bleak. I plan to lose weight and get myself in shape, starting tomorrow, and have mapped out a healthy eating and exercise plan. I fear it might be too late but need to try and finally do it. I hope that as I lose weight I get better mentally and gain confidence and start feeling optimism, but if that doesn't work I'm in a lot of trouble as it's really my only hope.
I often think what the point is as I don't have anything to live for. I have no purpose and barely anything to look forward to, aside from a trip in the summer, but after that nothing. I'll get up for work tomorrow and go in and sit bored beyond belief, and will start with my fitness plan, but really it's hard to see what it's all for. Part of me aches to rage against that but part of me begs to pull me under and submit.
Funnily I do feel decent a most of the time, at least better than I did before, but it's just when the thoughts hit me, and again it feels too late.
I know I just post the same stuff on here and it must be tedious but I have no other outlet, so feel free to skip this latest mewling output.

You've had some good advice since your post DA, so I'll just add an observation made by a famous agony aunt here when someone wrote for advice on the same topic. Yes, if you do the OU course it'll take 6 years and you'll be 40 by the time you're done. But if you don't do it, in 6 years time you'll still be 40 and you won't have a degree. You'll feel a shit-ton better about yourself if you go for it.

Just to add to this. I was 18 when I did my nursing course and there was a woman in her mid to late 40s doing the same course. She got through it and is still nursing now (12 years later). There were other older students in the other class as well who qualified. My class only had 7 folk in it with Alison being comfortably the oldest and for all the petty bitching that went on, no one ever made a comment about her age.

The point being, your not of an age where it's pointless to pursue a career. Even at 40 you'll still have potentially 25/30 years worth of work left (shite in itself!) so it would absolutely be worthwhile spending the next 6 years of your life getting a qualification for a career you could enjoy for the rest of your working life.

[Ingo ohne Flamingo]

Make a big pot of soup on a Sunday, box and freeze it and have that for lunch at work. Saves a fortune on work lunch and the weight just drops off you. 

Consider walking or cycling to work if that’s an option?

Lastly, speak to your doctor, even if you don’t fancy happy pills, they can get you on a free or heavily subsidised gym membership at the local council run gyms. Swimming is great for losing weight!

I’ve suffered deperesion twice and it’s fucking horrible, i done the happy pills the first time round but got shot of them after a month and took up a gym membership and worked wonders. My second bout was caused by a totally different set of circumstances and it was those circumstances to eventually change that got me out of it however talking to people helped me get by, that and I must add a very understanding employer. 

All the best man. Don’t be afraid to talk, that’s the main thing. 

[RH33]

7 hours ago, Shandon Par said:

The death of a friend recently has just shattered me. There’s a void that simply can’t be filled. I know time heals and I have experienced many bereavements but this is a tough one. There was no long illness, no “in a better place now” or suchlike. Just gone. Irreplaceable. Been wallowing a bit with emotional songs and being a long weekend off and having a weekend away with just the missus has meant lots of time for reflection.

Sorry to crash in on the depression thread with what’s really just some temporary self pity but normally I’d just say I was fine and get on with it. Just needed to splurge it out there that I’m heartbroken just now. It feels selfish to say it though as my pain is just a fraction of what his nearest and dearest have to face. So now I have a layer of guilt for self pitying on top of the grief! 

You lost your friend just this week! Calling it self pity when it’s raw grief is being pretty hard on yourself.

Don’t compare your grief to those closest to him. Your emotions are just as valid as theirs.

This is a safe thread to spout on as for all the daftness on here everyone respects this thread and it’s for all mental health not just depression.

Give yourself time, your friend died in the most horrific way. Then on top of that you have the speculation and media. 

 

[Dons_1988]

The death of a friend recently has just shattered me. There’s a void that simply can’t be filled. I know time heals and I have experienced many bereavements but this is a tough one. There was no long illness, no “in a better place now” or suchlike. Just gone. Irreplaceable. Been wallowing a bit with emotional songs and being a long weekend off and having a weekend away with just the missus has meant lots of time for reflection.
Sorry to crash in on the depression thread with what’s really just some temporary self pity but normally I’d just say I was fine and get on with it. Just needed to splurge it out there that I’m heartbroken just now. It feels selfish to say it though as my pain is just a fraction of what his nearest and dearest have to face. So now I have a layer of guilt for self pitying on top of the grief! 

Look after yourself mate.

I’ve been there, the combination of grief with feeing guilty about said grief. You can’t help how you feel. Take it seriously and take care of yourself. Worst thing you can do is try and pretend to yourself that it’s not there.

[Dosser-fae-the-shire]

 

[DA Baracus]

18 hours ago, welshbairn said:

First step is to stop comparing yourself to other people the same age, and what they've done. Most of them are probably trapped in souless marriages and jobs they hate just to pay the mortgage. Judging yourself on some scale you're supposed to have reached at a certain age is idiotic. Second is to stop putting yourself down because of your weight. While looking after it a bit if you're eating obsessively might be an idea, lots of fatties live happy and well adjusted lives, and hardly anyone would judge you on it. Thirdly plan an adventure so you have something to look forward to. You're single and free to do what you want. Take advantage of it, even if it takes a while to sort out the cash and stuff. Fourth, you have a full time job, the money shit must be sortable. Fifthly my life has been a whole series of unmitigated disasters so don't listen to c***s like me.   

Thanks, although I think it's a bit harsh to say folk are trapped in soulless marriages and jobs.

It's not just me that puts me down about my weight. I've had insults chucked at me in the street and in pubs and at the football. I've had stuff chucked at me from cars. I see it regularly on here that fat folk are 'disgusting' and 'scum', and unfortunately that's how I feel. And I'm either invisible to women or far too visible. I've avoided getting in to debates or arguments with people and have too often not said things when I should have as I know the retort will be about my weight and I just have no comeback to that.

I hope to get the financial side sorted out, but it's just taking ages and is so demoralising. I will have to skip potential things, and fear that I'll lose what little friends I have, as so many other friends just got fed up of me not doing things and not seeing me that they're not really my friends any more. I just loathe being stuck alone with nothing to do, but doing stuff costs money, yet I need to pay things off. It's not even a huge sum of money I need to pay off, it's just when they all come out of my account at the start of the month when I get paid it all adds up, considering I don't exactly make a lot of money. I had to opt out of the pension scheme at work at I just can't afford to have that much money going out each month, but then it makes me fear for the future, but then I think there's no point as there probably won't be a future.

I want to save for things when free of the debts, but it will take a long time. I hope to do it though, and I'm trying to be optimistic about it.

I don't really think I'm free to be what I want though. That takes money, and sadly I just don't have it. I would love to be a scientist that visited various sites for example, but there's no way I can do or be that without money.

Sorry, I'm just feeling really defeated. It's good advice but I can't seem to stop my mind throwing arguments against it. I really do appreciate the time you've taken to reply, so apologies if I come across as ungrateful.

18 hours ago, NJ2 said:

Starting with the last part, that’s exactly what this thread is for mate.
Secondly, I know how you feel - the pointlessness, the loneliness, the frustration and, worst, the self loathing. Not all the time by any means but often enough.
Lastly, as I realise I’m no real help, but it’s never too late to achieve what you want if you can stay motivated. Healthy eating and exercise will help you lose weight, the exercise will help your mental health as well. As long as you’re here, you can keep trying to get where you want to be. Some things might not happen but some definitely will and they’ll make the effort worthwhile. Try and keep the head up mate and I don’t think anyone grudges anyone else using this thread as an outlet, and if they do they can f**k off to another thread tbh

It's the motivation I struggle with. I start with good intentions but then sit at work and I just can't get the thoughts out of my head that bring me down. I keep having thoughts and impulses and compulsions to not do it, like it's an addiction. I know that if I can overcome that I can do it, but it's a battle I've so far not been able to win.

17 hours ago, Shandon Par said:

Exercise can be a great confidence booster but without meaning to put a downer on things before you’ve even set out on the healthy crusade the alarm bells start ringing if folk say “things will be better when.. or if.. x y and z”. 

I’ve been a mess when a bit lardy and when fit as a butchers dog. When sober or boozing or doing various other nefarious things. Getting fit can of course give you a boost but maybe view that as a base from which to address the root of problems.

I know money is tight but audio book places like Audible usually do a free trial (just remember to cancel). Self help books may not be your thing but by reading through the descriptions and listening to samples you may stumble across something that works for you.

For me, a 12 step one really helped. It took a couple of runs to get into it but it was because so much of it touched a nerve. To really make a difference it meant breaking down old habits and ways of doing things.

I know booze isn’t too big a deal for you but even a couple of AA meetings could be a way to lift the burden and get to meet folk who will be going through the same emotions as you. It’s not all about drinking. You’d soon spot patterns - for booze you could substitute the word with food. It’s the same sort of guilt/sooth/shame cycle you describe. 

Learning to be a bit less hard on yourself and love yourself a bit more could be a strong base from which to really enjoy getting a bit fitter etc.

And to put it in perspective from the start, I think your description of yourself would be unrecognisable to anyone on the forum.

Funny, moral, opinionated, unique are a few words that spring to mind about you. Not any of the negative stuff you mention. 

Getting fit and in shape has to be the starting point for me. I will struggle big time getting a new job if I stay as I am. I've seen it many times that as soon as I walk in the room the interviewer has judged me as a fat lazy c**t and I won't be getting the job. I got really lucky with my current job that the interviewers weren't those kind of people. Also as mentioned before, I've zero chance of ever finding someone to be with in my current state. I'm either invisible or far too visible to women. I've been on dating sites and had no success at all, as they clearly see my picture and think 'no chance'. I need to get myself sorted out with the weight and fitness.

I see what you're saying about the patterns, and think you might be right. I'll need to look in to that.

17 hours ago, Bairnardo said:

Not to disagree with Shandon here because what he is saying is all right enough but DA you always mention physical fitness/weight when you are down. This leads me to believe you have had a load of false starts on that front. This is something I can relate to and I have had more "right im sorting it this time" moments than most folk I know.

I still have a bit to go but I will forever be grateful for signing up to the white collar boxing. It kicked me up the arse big style got me on a good path and once it was done and it left a bit of a hole I have signed up for a 10k to get me motivated.

Get yourself signed up to something that forces you into it.

Aye, had loads of false starts over many years. Probably close to a hundred. I get what you mean about signing up for something, so I'll need to find something.

17 hours ago, Rowan said:

Can you sign up to the fans fit that clubs are running through the spfl trust? Someone i know did this recently after a bad spell and found it benifical.

I tried, but I'm too young.

17 hours ago, Silverton End said:

It's never too late for anything D A, get yourself out walking, it can be so therapeutic. A very easy way to get a bit fitter too, put some earphones on & tune out as you walk, give it a go mate.

You don't have to push too hard, if you feel anxious go walking early mornings when it's quieter or evenings.

Best wishes to you

I walk/run home every day (3 miles). Going to start walking in to work as well. Just bored of the same route and routine!

15 hours ago, Shotgun said:

You've had some good advice since your post DA, so I'll just add an observation made by a famous agony aunt here when someone wrote for advice on the same topic. Yes, if you do the OU course it'll take 6 years and you'll be 40 by the time you're done. But if you don't do it, in 6 years time you'll still be 40 and you won't have a degree. You'll feel a shit-ton better about yourself if you go for it.

True. I just sometimes feel that by then it won't be worth it and that I'll have no chance of being employed at that age in a new industry.

I'm still going to give it a go though.

14 hours ago, Ingo ohne Flamingo said:

Make a big pot of soup on a Sunday, box and freeze it and have that for lunch at work. Saves a fortune on work lunch and the weight just drops off you. 

Consider walking or cycling to work if that’s an option?

Lastly, speak to your doctor, even if you don’t fancy happy pills, they can get you on a free or heavily subsidised gym membership at the local council run gyms. Swimming is great for losing weight!

I’ve suffered deperesion twice and it’s fucking horrible, i done the happy pills the first time round but got shot of them after a month and took up a gym membership and worked wonders. My second bout was caused by a totally different set of circumstances and it was those circumstances to eventually change that got me out of it however talking to people helped me get by, that and I must add a very understanding employer. 

All the best man. Don’t be afraid to talk, that’s the main thing. 

Don't have a freezer sadly! But I've got a decent eating plan sorted (which includes home made soup!).

Getting back to the doctor sounds like a plan, if only for the memberships you mention. Couldn't face swimming at the moment though. I'm far too ashamed to do something like that in the state I'm in. I'll give the GP a ring next week (would do it now but phone is cut off so have to wait until payday to pay the bill and be able to make the call!).

Edited April 22, 2019 by DA Baracus

[SweeperDee]

Do it. 

I can give you a lift if you want DA, if you’re still in the DD3 zone.

 

If there’s space, I’d like to jump in as well. Would be good to get the P&B footie back again. Get Peeeeel and Twinkle on board as well.

 

It really can’t be overstated how much football helps; even if you’re not particularly athletic or good at it. Keeps you focussed, gives you a bit of a run about and the banter is always decent.

[Chicken Wing]

I will have to skip potential things, and fear that I'll lose what little friends I have

I've only quoted this small part, but this fear is one that you do not need to fret over. However "little" your circle of friends is, is neither her nor there, what is important is that we all care about you, immensely so (you know who)

Fling me a text mate.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

1 hour ago, SweeperDee said:

 

If there’s space, I’d like to jump in as well. Would be good to get the P&B footie back again. Get Peeeeel and Twinkle on board as well.

 

It really can’t be overstated how much football helps; even if you’re not particularly athletic or good at it. Keeps you focussed, gives you a bit of a run about and the banter is always decent.

Not my shout m8. It’s G-mans group which I occasionally make a stunning appearance at. I’m merely offering a taxi service for those in the DD3 area.  Agree about the fitba though. The old game was a good laugh and good for the heid. Maybe see if the old crowd would still be up for the odd game now the nights are a bit lighter?

[throbber]

How overweight are you talking here DA? I remember you saying you were quite fat and had let yourself go a bit but you’re making yourself out to be much bigger here. The idea that people are shouting at you from their cars is rather worrying as well.

 

[Guest JTS98]

12 hours ago, DA Baracus said:

I don't really think I'm free to be what I want though. That takes money, and sadly I just don't have it. I would love to be a scientist that visited various sites for example, but there's no way I can do or be that without money.

 

Mate, none of us are.

Some people are constrained by money (I'm in that boat too, to be honest), others are constrained by having a bird and/or weans, others are constrained by responsibilities like looking after a family member, others are constrained by lack of ability or opportunities based on where they come from.

The first thing you have to shed is this idea that we can all be what we want. We can't and few of us are what we want. The reason this is important is that if being 'anything you want' is really possible, then we blame ourselves for not having some kind of dream life. The reality is that hardly anybody gets what they want in life. If we did, me and all my mates would be playing for Hearts and would have right tidy birds and loads of money. None of us have any of those things.

The genes we have, the upbringing we have, the mates we have, the things that happen along the way in life, the decisions we make all go together and we end up where we are. Ask around. Hardly anybody is completely happy with their lot. The key is to look at where you are now and find a way forward. I think your OU idea is a strong one. I think you should go with the previous poster who suggested making a move with that. As he mentioned, you'll be 40 in six years either way. With or without the degree. Why not do it?

There's a way forward from here. Get looking into the OU stuff, start cooking yourself some good grub and doing some walking etc.

[Tony Ferrino]

10 hours ago, throbber said:

How overweight are you talking here DA? I remember you saying you were quite fat and had let yourself go a bit but you’re making yourself out to be much bigger here. The idea that people are shouting at you from their cars is rather worrying as well.

 

I'm sure you mean well.