Depression

[Guest Moomintroll]

I was on anti depressants for about 6 years on and off and they did nothing for me other than help me sleep.

I had to change my whole approach to life, health, booze and everything. It’s hard but I’m better than I ever thought I could be. Just have to find what it is that’s holding you down, or at least I did.

I promise it will happen for you if you stick it out.

Cheers min, you can still fonk off if you think you are getting 3rd place ahead of us mind.

[Shandon Par]

20 minutes ago, Dons_1988 said:

 

I had to change my whole approach to life, health, booze and everything. It’s hard but I’m better than I ever thought I could be. Just have to find what it is that’s holding you down, or at least I did.


 

 

It can be hard to swallow and can mean putting your ego to one side as you look at how you approach stuff but this is a pretty concise guide to making life more enjoyable. 

[DA Baracus]

I think @Raidernation is the strongest guy on here. The lad has been through so much shit, far more that any person should ever have to go through, yet he's still here. He's a fucking machine! Massive respect.

2 hours ago, Moomintroll said:

Had a major meltdown last night, been coming for weeks as I have been struggling to cope. Feel utterly useless & have no idea what to do next, have such an amazing person alongside me but she doesn't need my continued crap. Can't summon the courage but would happily walk in front of a truck right now, can't do suicide as she wouldn't get insurance but just don't see the point of me.

If you don't mind me asking, and don't mind replying, what are the issues? You say this has been coming for weeks so I imagine you have a pretty good idea.

[Stellaboz]

Raider Nation is the boy. No way I'd get through all of your happenings sir, you're actually an inspiration.

[Guest Moomintroll]

I think [mention=40968]Raidernation[/mention] is the strongest guy on here. The lad has been through so much shit, far more that any person should ever have to go through, yet he's still here. He's a fucking machine! Massive respect.
If you don't mind me asking, and don't mind replying, what are the issues? You say this has been coming for weeks so I imagine you have a pretty good idea.

Its mostly a constant issue of putting myself under too much pressure and convincing myself I am a failure who lets everyone down. Long story short, I asked for a demotion at work a few years back, felt I was ready to get back up again but got passed over as they didnt want me to feel the same pressure again, guy who is now my boss is a total wankstain who they will back no matter what cos thats how it works. Other guys at my old level are constantly telling me they have no idea how he got the job over me, the staff and customers are constantly moaning at me about him and saying they wish i had got it. This i know should make me happy but it just reinforces in my mind that I have let everyone down, reading it back it sounds ridiculous but my brain just keeps dragging me down & all the mindfulness counselling and pills in the world cant change that when I'm lying awake at daft o clock in the night.

[DA Baracus]

Yeah sounds a shitter.

Sounds to me like a dick got a lucky promotion over you. Sadly happens all too often across all industries. c**t probably knew someone. 

Regardless of how it happened you've clearly taken it badly. You do contradict yourself though. You say you feel you've let folk down yet folk say you should have got the job. That means they believe in you and trust you to be the right person to deliver. So you haven't let them down at all. They like you enough to confide in you. Your colleagues say you're the right one, and whilst it might be understandable that they could be bullshitting to be nice it should be said that customers are brutally honest, so them saying it isn't bullshit, meaning your colleagues aren't bullshitting either. 

Basically they all like, trust and respect you.

Is it possible to try a different company in your industry? You clearly have the skills and experience to go further, so if it's not possible at your work then maybe it could at another place?

 

Also sounds like your medication isn't working. Get back to your GP about that. There are loads of different types.

[Dons_1988]

Cheers min, you can still fonk off if you think you are getting 3rd place ahead of us mind.

At this point I’d say you’re probably right.

[Raidernation]

Wow! Thanks guys.
I’m actually off to have sober fun bowling with some of my fellow recoverees

[Guest Moomintroll]

Yeah sounds a shitter.
Sounds to me like a dick got a lucky promotion over you. Sadly happens all too often across all industries. c**t probably knew someone. 
Regardless of how it happened you've clearly taken it badly. You do contradict yourself though. You say you feel you've let folk down yet folk say you should have got the job. That means they believe in you and trust you to be the right person to deliver. So you haven't let them down at all. They like you enough to confide in you. Your colleagues say you're the right one, and whilst it might be understandable that they could be bullshitting to be nice it should be said that customers are brutally honest, so them saying it isn't bullshit, meaning your colleagues aren't bullshitting either. 
Basically they all like, trust and respect you.
Is it possible to try a different company in your industry? You clearly have the skills and experience to go further, so if it's not possible at your work then maybe it could at another place?
 
Also sounds like your medication isn't working. Get back to your GP about that. There are loads of different types.

I let them down by not getting the job.Had a doctors review recently and they dont want to change my meds, been on prozac and sertraline previously & they didnt do much for me citalopram seems to be the one that works best for me although not so much recently obvioudly.

[DA Baracus]

3 minutes ago, Moomintroll said:

3 hours ago, DA Baracus said:

Yeah sounds a shitter.
Sounds to me like a dick got a lucky promotion over you. Sadly happens all too often across all industries. c**t probably knew someone. 
Regardless of how it happened you've clearly taken it badly. You do contradict yourself though. You say you feel you've let folk down yet folk say you should have got the job. That means they believe in you and trust you to be the right person to deliver. So you haven't let them down at all. They like you enough to confide in you. Your colleagues say you're the right one, and whilst it might be understandable that they could be bullshitting to be nice it should be said that customers are brutally honest, so them saying it isn't bullshit, meaning your colleagues aren't bullshitting either. 
Basically they all like, trust and respect you.
Is it possible to try a different company in your industry? You clearly have the skills and experience to go further, so if it's not possible at your work then maybe it could at another place?
 
Also sounds like your medication isn't working. Get back to your GP about that. There are loads of different types.

I let them down by not getting the job.Had a doctors review recently and they dont want to change my meds, been on prozac and sertraline previously & they didnt do much for me citalopram seems to be the one that works best for me although not so much recently obvioudly.

Pish. You didn't get a job with a single company, and it may be you never had a chance if the guy who got it was a pal of those doing the appointing. You're being too harsh on yourself.

Why did your doctor(s) think your current medication is best? What did they say?

[Guest Moomintroll]

Pish. You didn't get a job with a single company, and it may be you never had a chance if the guy who got it was a pal of those doing the appointing. You're being too harsh on yourself.
Why did your doctor(s) think your current medication is best? What did they say?

They didnt want to wean me off it and transit to another because of my mental state. Just have to try and get through it but its hard, i know my problems are of the first world variety for this pish but it doesnt stop me feeling hopeless.

[DA Baracus]

3 minutes ago, Moomintroll said:

12 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

Pish. You didn't get a job with a single company, and it may be you never had a chance if the guy who got it was a pal of those doing the appointing. You're being too harsh on yourself.
Why did your doctor(s) think your current medication is best? What did they say?

They didnt want to wean me off it and transit to another because of my mental state. Just have to try and get through it but its hard, i know my problems are of the first world variety for this pish but it doesnt stop me feeling hopeless.

Nah don't ever 'compare' your issues to other folks. That's a false comparison. Plus mental health issues don't discriminate. Never think you shouldn't feel what you do because you have it better than others. That's not how things work!

You said it yourself, it doesn't stop you feeling hopeless. You've just proved to us and yourself that mental issues don't discriminate.

Please don't feel bad for feeling bad. Easy to say I know, but if you can try and understand that what you're experiencing isn't your fault and that it's far more common than you might think then hopefully it can help, even if it's just a bit.

[Guest Moomintroll]

Nah don't ever 'compare' your issues to other folks. That's a false comparison. Plus mental health issues don't discriminate. Never think you shouldn't feel what you do because you have it better than others. That's not how things work!
You said it yourself, it doesn't stop you feeling hopeless. You've just proved to us and yourself that mental issues don't discriminate.
Please don't feel bad for feeling bad. Easy to say I know, but if you can try and understand that what you're experiencing isn't your fault and that it's far more common than you might think then hopefully it can help, even if it's just a bit.

Cheers DA, it really does help getting some perspective elsewhere when i'm doing my damndested to destroy myself. I need to hang on as the upswing will come along eventually.

[DA Baracus]

40 minutes ago, Moomintroll said:

47 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

Nah don't ever 'compare' your issues to other folks. That's a false comparison. Plus mental health issues don't discriminate. Never think you shouldn't feel what you do because you have it better than others. That's not how things work!
You said it yourself, it doesn't stop you feeling hopeless. You've just proved to us and yourself that mental issues don't discriminate.
Please don't feel bad for feeling bad. Easy to say I know, but if you can try and understand that what you're experiencing isn't your fault and that it's far more common than you might think then hopefully it can help, even if it's just a bit.

Cheers DA, it really does help getting some perspective elsewhere when i'm doing my damndested to destroy myself. I need to hang on as the upswing will come along eventually.

Comparisons are horrible and will f**k anyone right up.

Think about your own ambitions and goals. 

[NJ2]

Like DA says, comparisons are horrible and will make any of us feel terrible. There’s no point comparing your life to anyone’s as we’re, just as individual people, all different. There’s always going to be someone who “has it all” but f**k only knows if it’s what they actually want and if they’re happy.

[Guest Moomintroll]

Comparisons are horrible and will f**k anyone right up.
Think about your own ambitions and goals. 

Between you and that excellent dog owning fashion disaster, I really hope the Pars can fashion a miracle and get up this year. My ambition is really straightforward, I just want to go to bed at night and sleep without hating myself.

[welshbairn]

I need to hang on as the upswing will come along eventually.

My main technique, which doesn't always work, when the black dogs come in, is to try and remember from the outside that it IS temporary, and despite the gloomy thoughts and memories flooding in of my unworthiness, there are some good things about me. I try to keep to an even keel of gentle melancholy. Haven't tried medication as I believe they usually take a while to take effect, and my episodes are usually not longlasting, so I wouldn't know if it was the drugs or just getting back to feeling mildly miserable as usual.

[Dons_1988]

Between you and that excellent dog owning fashion disaster, I really hope the Pars can fashion a miracle and get up this year. My ambition is really straightforward, I just want to go to bed at night and sleep without hating myself.

DA is right though, there will be. Reason that you go to bed feeling like that.

Find out what it is that does it and take it one day at a time addressing it.

[welshbairn]

 

DA is right though, there will be. Reason that you go to bed feeling like that.

 

Find out what it is that does it and take it one day at a time addressing it.

I don't think there's always a rational reason for depression, it can take someone else to convince you how distorted your thoughts are, and over a period of time.

 

[Guest Moomintroll]

My main technique, which doesn't always work, when the black dogs come in, is to try and remember from the outside that it IS temporary, and despite the gloomy thoughts and memories flooding in of my unworthiness, there are some good things about me. I try to keep to an even keel of gentle melancholy. Haven't tried medication as I believe they usually take a while to take effect, and my episodes are usually not longlasting, so I wouldn't know if it was the drugs or just getting back to feeling mildly miserable as usual.

Thanks welshbairn, I have firmly nailed my colours to the Pars mast though so, bring on the FK mods. Doing the best I can, thanks.