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tobeylarone

Strange dreams

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I had a most pleasing dream last night that I was pumping Susanna Reid.

b*****d. Swap you.

Last night's pleasure was that Scotland were away against Italy, and it was on the telly. Within a couple of minutes, we'd done something to piss off the Italian crowd, and somebody with an automatic weapon started shooting our players. Really horrific stuff watching our players running in terror before being mown down by some maniac.

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Last night I was at a music festival. The act on at the time was Charlie Miller doing a version of Let's stick together, previously by Bryan Ferry. He had no band, just a backing track operated by an old man in a dinner suit. I had assumed this was his dad.

The best part was the snack bar which was selling hot pies (normal scotch pies), with melted cheese on top.

I doubt Charlie Miller has a career in music, but I might try a cheesy pie.

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Sounds worse than a fishy pie.

It's strange that in a country where we put cheese on chips and donner meat, I had never thought of putting cheese on a pie. I've had the ones with beans and mashed tatties, I've had a roll 'n pie quite often., but never cheese on pie. Also, there can be no dispute about terminology, this cheese was ON the pie.

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I had a dream the other night that I killed someone and my parents helped me cover it up!

Fcuking cheese & port!

Edited by sjc

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I hate sleep paralysis so much, when I get it I actually "feel" pain if that makes sense? Horrible stuff, seems to last forever as well.

If only it did.

Edited by Sergeant Wilson

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Last night I had the joys of being enrolled in an army training regiment, which I was useless at. We were part of a gun operation along the cliffs at Arbroath and the guy next to me was shot / killed by one of the marshals in what turned out to be an exercise with real guns and bullets. I really wasn't up for this but was kept in what resembled some sort of Birkenhauesque prison camp before being released for the next live practices. Loads of other (now a bit hazy) related stuff too which had me feeling like a skinnier version of Private Pyle out of Full Metal Jacket.

One of those complex dreams which felt like it lasted for hours on end but probably only lasted 10 mins in reality.

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Last night's one - I was wandering around tesco doing my shopping, when all of a sudden none other than p&bs very own monster picked me up, threw me in a trolley, ran out the doors with the trolley, where we were whisked into a limo and taken to a TV studio, where Ayrgirl was taking part In the final of the great british bake-off, where me and monster got pished and shouted abuse at the contestants. Ayrgirl got a bit upset by her husband's cheek, and In true slapstick style, made a custard pie and hit monster right square in the dish with it.

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Always have dreams where I'm falling off the cliffs but grabbing on to the long grass and pulling myself up only to fall again and repeat and eventually I just fall and shite masel but never hit the water.

Also always dream about swimming with sharks and unable to get out the sea, every so often I get lifted up and I'm happy, I see all the shadows in the water and then fall back in again.

I hate dreams

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Had a dream the other day where I was a leader in an army and Katy Perry was the leader of the other one, we went on a mission and managed to capture her then we strung her up and KSI started to cut off her head with a Christmas card. It was taking ages and her neck was all bloody so I ran up and told him to stop then shot her.

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Had a dream the other day where I was a leader in an army and Katy Perry was the leader of the other one, we went on a mission and managed to capture her then we strung her up and KSI started to cut off her head with a Christmas card. It was taking ages and her neck was all bloody so I ran up and told him to stop then shot her.

I love a happy ending.

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I had a dream where kelly brook was throwing darts at me whilst in a bus stop in Tillicoultry.

I also had a dream where the Roman Catholic Church had bought over the company I work for :/

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I somehow found myself in a UFC fight, which I won. I then looked at the official rankings and I was world champion at Middleweight, Light Heavyweight and Heavyweight.

Anyone trained themselves to lucid dream?

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Some madman with a chainsaw rising out the river next to my house, cut my brother-in-law in two then chased me until I fell of my motorcycle, was starting to cut my arm off when I awoke....fucking fan had tipped over onto the bottom of the bed and was spinning on my leg.

Fucking crazy how the mind works.

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I had a dream the other night where a helicopter carrying ISIS terrorists was shot down over the Falkland Islands. f**k knows where they were going.

During the same dream I was aimlessly walking about in a very narrow pub in Glasgow that was underground. Don't think that exists tbh.

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I'm having a hell of a lot of weird dreams these days. Really can't remember much other than they're very unsettling at times.

Last night whilst in and out of the dream I was having I was convinced it was a brilliant plot for a book. When fully awake? Not a Scooby what it was about.

I put it down to my brain's reaction to my sobriety.

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Last night the band Interpol asked me if I wanted to tour with them as a 5th member of the group. I eventually said no as, even though they had parts for me to play, I didn't want to cramp their style. Then lead singer Paul Banks jumped off the side of a corrie, followed by the rest of the band, in an attempt to reach their plane which was sitting on the snow covered rocks below.

I changed my mind and decided I wanted to join them. I tried to take the safe way down to the plane, but then someone I haven't seen since school pushed me over the edge of the corrie. I banged my head on a rock then woke up.

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