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Strange dreams

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Had a dream last night that I was walking past Ibrox at night with a Saints scarf on. A group of 5 18yr old or so Celtic bams spotted me and made their way over clearly with the intention of doing me in. They saw that it was a St Johnstone scarf and I said “I’m not a Rangers fan.” They all laughed and then the ring leader brought out a knife, a proper lock blade army style thing. I begged with them not to do it, saying “look I’ve got money, take it.” Ring leader smiles and says “nah, I want to make this last longer” and then as he thrust the blade at me I woke up.

I blame Brendan for this. c**t.

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I dreamed that I was late for work and woke up at 7:30pm when I was supposed to be in the office at 2pm.  I tried to get ready but former Ross County and Clach (I think) defender Sean Webb was outside my room, crying and telling me that he loved me and that'd he'd been taking steroids to get ripped to impress me.   I was trying to explain to him that I had a wife and child and I wasn't interested but he was crying and wouldn't listen and kept injecting himself with steroids.  I was really worried about being late for work and woke up panicking that I was late until I checked the clock and found it was 4am not 7:30pm and that none of the other stuff was real.

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21 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

I dreamed that I was late for work and woke up at 7:30pm when I was supposed to be in the office at 2pm.  I tried to get ready but former Ross County and Clach (I think) defender Sean Webb was outside my room, crying and telling me that he loved me and that'd he'd been taking steroids to get ripped to impress me.   I was trying to explain to him that I had a wife and child and I wasn't interested but he was crying and wouldn't listen and kept injecting himself with steroids.  I was really worried about being late for work and woke up panicking that I was late until I checked the clock and found it was 4am not 7:30pm and that none of the other stuff was real.

 

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20 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

I don't even know what Sean Webb looks like, I just know it was him.

Saw him play for Clach at Huntly on Saturday, if you'd said I could have got his autograph for you.

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8 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

Saw him play for Clach at Huntly on Saturday, if you'd said I could have got his autograph for you.

Did he look like he was on the 'roids?

It is utterly bizarre how the brain works, I'd not even thought about Sean Webb for about 15 years but here he is, juicing himself and professing his love for me.  

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10 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

Did he look like he was on the 'roids?

It is utterly bizarre how the brain works, I'd not even thought about Sean Webb for about 15 years but here he is, juicing himself and professing his love for me.  

Not particularly, here's a rear view (fnarr) from Saturday, No 4, just after conceding a late equaliser.

image.thumb.png.36589936a5e8705285ff6376830920b8.png

Edited by welshbairn

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I dreamed I was working in a supermarket, something I haven't done for nearly 15 years, and went for my lunch in the staff canteen only to find there was nothing left on sale, so as soon as I was back on shift I just went around the warehouse tanning some stuff that I fancied and ate that instead.

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Last week she kneed me in the back, then kicked me. Shouting about "lazy b*****ds". Later the same night, she addressed me by name, told me she had made a decision. "Whether i like it or not, the swimming pool is getting filled, beause we need the space.

I asked her about it and she remembered and explained she was "kicking her brother". She'd hoped I wouldn't remember, so decided to say nothing.

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I dreamt last night that I was looking after a holiday cottage for the owner, and one of my old flatmates was in the cottage getting shown round it by me. I presume he had rented it, although that wasn't discussed. My wife explained to both of us that one of the windows was leaking due to being hit by a continuous stream of water from the gutter above, and that it was filling up a basin at a rate that meant the cottage couldn't be left alone.

I worked out that a temporary fix could be effected by removing part of the gutter upstream, but I didn't have the gear to be able to get to it. We called (instantaneously) a maintenance company with exactly that ability on their website, and another flatmate appeared, looking very smug.

He was giving it a general demeanour and chat of, "Aye, nae surprise you had to get me in to fix this for you! Just like in the flat, you're no' up tae much!" I remember countering this with, "Oh really, so you're an actual qualified electrician?!", before realizing that it wasn't an electrical job and trying to change the subject so that no one had a chance to pick me up on it.

Think I got away with it.

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I was a boxer and the guy I was fighting was flat sharing but kept pranking me before the press conferences. Replaced razor blades with blunt ones so I turned up covered in wee cuts.

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Last night:  Supposedly killed a guy in my sleep and was sentenced to 12 years in jail.  Dreamt the entire process out from the court appearance through to the prison induction process.  Arrived and was sent outside to play rounders with the other inmates.   Had to say goodbye to my other half, knowing I wouldn't see her for any of that time.  Not a particularly nice dream.  :(

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Had a dream about the Trivago woman last night, we were banging in an infinity pool at the top of the Marina Bay Sands hotel as the sun was setting. Vogue magazine were doing a photo shoot of us from helicopters and I was swigging from a bottle of champagne, what does it mean? 
We've all had a go, kind of walks with a limp now.

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As good as a really bizarre vivid dream can be, I often have the most mundane dreams which ironically make me chuckle at the sheer shitness of them. A particular highlight was one where I was discussing the prospect of St Johnstone signing Ian Vigurs with my dad. We both agreed it was a poor idea.

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Had a weird dream that my mother casually remarked that a well dressed man nearby was her 97 year old father, who was French, and the reason we all had French names.

I was angry with her because she had always told me he was dead and she had never said he was French.

Doubly weird because I don't have a French name or a French grandad.

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Not sure if it was seeing police taping up a murder scene the other day or if it's just having to deal with a couple of really awkward people right now but I've become a terrible murderer in my dreams. The other night I'd hung a couple of folk up inside sleeping bags and set fire to them and last night I chucked someone into a pit of constrictor snakes. Once they'd crushed him a bit the snakes chucked him out and we then deep fried him in a huge vat as they liked their food fried then chucked him back in. Sorry about that. 

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Had a dream the other night I was on a packed Scotrail train and that Ninja guy who plays fortnite was on it making cat noises. Everyone was getting pissed off, so I took it upon myself to start ripping into him. He didn't take it well and started going mental, the whole carriage was laughing at me ripping him. He then took his wig off, unsure if he wears a wig in all honesty, and started waving it about. I then grabbed the wig and threw it off the train.

Woke up pishing myself laughing.

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Dreamt last night that me and a guy I used to be mates with about 15 years ago were in Airdrie town centre, just outside Burton's. The streets were rammed, like some sort of fair day. My mate made a throwaway comment to some lassie, quite pretty and her boyfriend appeared with about 4 other guys and proceeded to stamp all over my big mates head while the police watched.
Bizarre.

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I dreamed that a massive fireworks display, on the scale of New Year in London, was taking place in the park at the unimpressive wee town in Lanarkshire where I grew up. My wife and I went up in a helicopter to get a good view.

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