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Strange dreams

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I've mentioned on here in the past the two weirdest dreams I've ever had but I'll post them again for the benefit?? of any newbies.

1) Was in the house I grew up in as a child and heard a knock at the door. Went to the door and looked through the letterbox and saw a 7ft Tyrannosaurus Rex. The T-Rex asked if it could come in and I told it that it couldn't because it would eat me.

I went back up the stairs and the T-Rex was somehow in the living room so I pulled the door shut but it overpowered me and came into the hall wearing silver sparkly disco trousers and said, "I don't want to eat you, I just want to dance."

2) Dreamt that I was shagging Esther Rantzen and halfway through I realised that the curtains were open and the neighbours across the street could see everything. I told Esther this and she insisted that I keep the curtains open as she liked being watched.

Dirty cow.

Edited by Andy C

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I still remember from when I was a kid having a nightmare of being chased down a corrider by the Spitting Image puppet of Margaret Thatcher, it actually terrified me for weeks!

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Sometimes I dream that I'm falling out an airplane and I wake just before I hit the ground. I think a lot of people get dreams like this

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The worst thing for me is running away from something and despite being quite fast in real life, I can only seem to muster a jogging pace at best. Extremely frustrating! Not had a weird dream for a while so I will have one tonight no doubt

I get that as well, the only way I can run fast in dreams is to run backwards.

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Dreamed last night I was in the pub with Tim Henman, asking him why Andy Murray was so much better than him, and by how much.

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I get that as well, the only way I can run fast in dreams is to run backwards.

Seem to have that sometime as well, you are trying to sprint but just not moving anywhere. Tho to be fair lately thats not far off the truth

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I was playing golf in my dream, like my arms were swinigng and everything. She woke me up to tell me to stop moving about. I was quite confused as to why I wasn't at Elderslie golf course.

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Also had a 2nd dream that night that I stole wotsits from ASDA.

^^^ XBL alias IMO

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I dreamt i downed downed a bottle of mayonnaise thinking it was lucozade a couple of nights back. why I didn't stop I'm not sure.

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I went to the docs the other day, i said "doc, my cock has turned orange!" He asked what I do all day, I said "I eat wotsits and watch porn"

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My dreams are ridiculous. Dreamt recently, that me and Edgar David's were elite space soldiers. We were sent on a mission to map a new planet, and report back any signs of life. We were attacked by flying dogs and Edgar sacrificed himself at the end to get me back into the escape pod on out ship.

Seriously, what the f**k is that all about. I'd like to see someone analyse that shit!

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Had a few weird ones.

1st

For some reason I was in the 'war room' control centre with lots of others on some sort of VIP area just as the war was about to kick off. Bizarrely my mum and dad appeared and then there was a countdown and there was a nuclear explosion blinding light.

I woke up and as I opened my eyes I shat bricks as the first thing I looked at was a flashing light from the top of the velux window from a car going past.

2nd

After watching Jacobs ladder I had another war dream. Was sitting with some squadies and some of them were picking stones out of their boots with a huge Rambo knife. Suddenly one of them started slicing open his foot whilst laughing manically.

Again I woke up thinking wtf?

Also woke up exactly at 3am after watching the exorcism of Emily rose.

Said to myself, ha ill just look at the time for a laugh and it was 3:00.

It was around this time that I was working shifts and got sleep paralysis also.

That was like waking up inside a dream but someone was holding you down.

Will never work nightshirt again due to this.

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Last nights:

Was part of a group storming my office with guns, taking out guards to get to a random manager at work (not mine). I get to his office and I have to charge before his body guards restrain me. I leap at him... My weapon... A packet of Skips crisps. I burst the packet mid air dive, spraying Spids dust all over his face. I get taken by the guards.

I wake up at this point. Thought it was pretty weird. Go back to sleep.

Dreaming again (although I don't know it): I'm dragged away and told that I'm suspended for work, most likely sacked unless there's a good excuse. I come up with one: I've gone off the rails and going insane. I'm then taken away.

I end up in the new build of my old school (I've never been, the old one got demolished). A random head teacher I've never seen drags me to a giant metal container, the type you get on building sites. I'm told I'm going to be kept here in my cell for years.

I 'wake up' again (but in my dream, so not actually awake) and I'm delighted and relieved not to actually be sacked. Somebody then says "do you not think that this woken up non-sacked 'reality' might actually be put on to keep the insane sane whilst they're locked away from the world for life... Kind of like the Matrix?". I realise he's right and panic.

I go back into the dream and at some point, the head teacher comes in and says "we realised you'll need some food and water, hence you may enter the school but you're not allowed to leave it". I'm in a corridor in the school looking for a tap but way in the distance I see an open window. I run for it but numerous soldiers fill the corridor to try and stop me. Some random guy in the same situation appears and throws me some ammunition. I throw a grenade and blow the soldiers to bits, allowing me to get to the window which won't open. Looking through, I see Banchory high street which is also full of soldiers and Apache helicopters aiming at me. This random guy and I then proceed to take them all down with sniper rifles, throwing the occasional grenade to blow up the helicopters.

I can't remember the rest, waking up only to wonder if I've genuinely woken up. I get out of bed, afraid of falling asleep again. It's going ok so far...

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Last night I dreamt I was standing outside the Snow Goose in Inverness having a cigarette, but the pub was at the other side of the retail park to where it is. I was with two people from work, one who died a couple of years ago!

Anyway we were standing outside after a meal, and looked up and saw two Easyjet planes heading directly for each other. One of them banked to avoid but they clipped wings. Both of them then went into death rolls, and then the wings shot inside the plane like they folded in, and both smashed into the ground right in front of the Tesco in the retail park. I phoned the newspapers to try and get cash for the story and was using an old nokia brick mobile. I woke up whilst running towards the scene of devastation.

:huh:

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Last night I dreamt I was in some sort of alternative reality Sims-like game where you had to control Rolf Harris. At first it meant having to do mundane things like build a house with an aquarium with seals in it, but then when he went to sleep, Samantha Womack randomly appeared and tried to stab him, and you had to click on him with the medical kit to revive him then get him to set some ninjas on her. Later on, while he was giving a lecture, Ford Keirnan, who was sitting on the panel bench, suddenly stood up and tried to glass him. Then my alarm went off and I woke up.

I'm a little confused.

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Last night I dreamt I was in some sort of alternative reality Sims-like game where you had to control Rolf Harris. At first it meant having to do mundane things like build a house with an aquarium with seals in it, but then when he went to sleep, Samantha Womack randomly appeared and tried to stab him, and you had to click on him with the medical kit to revive him then get him to set some ninjas on her. Later on, while he was giving a lecture, Ford Keirnan, who was sitting on the panel bench, suddenly stood up and tried to glass him. Then my alarm went off and I woke up.

I'm a little confused.

Were you playing Tapped Out with UK Gold on in the background before you went to bed?

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My Jambo brother in law/ mate was staying over the other night and actually said something like "5-1 ya dick..."

I thought he'd woken up but he'd actually said it in his sleep.

I was raging and went pwapa out me nut

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Last night I dreamt I was in some sort of alternative reality Sims-like game where you had to control Rolf Harris. At first it meant having to do mundane things like build a house with an aquarium with seals in it, but then when he went to sleep, Samantha Womack randomly appeared and tried to stab him, and you had to click on him with the medical kit to revive him then get him to set some ninjas on her. Later on, while he was giving a lecture, Ford Keirnan, who was sitting on the panel bench, suddenly stood up and tried to glass him. Then my alarm went off and I woke up.

I'm a little confused.

That means something. I don't know what but I think it definitely means something

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Last night I dreamt I was in some sort of alternative reality Sims-like game where you had to control Rolf Harris. At first it meant having to do mundane things like build a house with an aquarium with seals in it, but then when he went to sleep, Samantha Womack randomly appeared and tried to stab him, and you had to click on him with the medical kit to revive him then get him to set some ninjas on her. Later on, while he was giving a lecture, Ford Keirnan, who was sitting on the panel bench, suddenly stood up and tried to glass him. Then my alarm went off and I woke up.

I'm a little confused.

Father issues IMO

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