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Strange dreams


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Last night I ended up in a situation in which I was part of an arranged marriage with the bang-average daughter of my mum's friend, who I've not seen in ~20 years and never give a second thought about tbh.   This obviously provided a bit of an issue with my current and stable long term relationship as I'd obviously not be able to stay with her anymore.  Some country mansion had been booked for today and I knew that if I was to cancel the day before then thousands of would be lost in cancellation fees.  

I also hadn't bought a ring yet and was extremely worried about letting everybody down by leaving it so late to say no, especially as folk would already be on their way.  I also got a text from an old classmate (who's existence I'd forgotten whilst awake) saying "£18 for a ticket to your wedding?!".  

By the end of the dream, my bride-to-be was now some guy who was half man half monster.  Weird.

 

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I had killed Paul McCartney and hidden the body in the woods. The killing was accidental and nobody knew except me. Others were aware he was missing but I knew that if I kept quiet I’d get away with it. As the dream progressed I was getting more and more anxious. 
I’ve had very similar dreams many times before, but this was the first time that it was someone famous I’d killed. Normally it’s a random stranger. 
 

Double check I’m posting in the correct thread and... Submit. 

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Last night I was drafted into the Scottish rugby team to take on England. After some delay in getting on the field by being forced to watch some strange video by the high school teacher (which I interrupted because of all the adverts) we eventually got on. An attractive blonde lady was in our team, her name was Brock Lesnar. 

The only action that happened was that suddenly there was an English player near our touchline who had replaceable metal legs and you couldn't tackle him if he didn't have them attached. As soon as he attached them I tackled him like f**k, winning the ball back for us but everyone hated me for attacking a disabled man. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Had a dream last night that a Scotland team containing boys that play for Arsenal, Man U and Liverpool qualified for something then danced about singing along to “Yes Sir, I Can Boogie”, by Baccara, before giving a stream of interviews more akin to Halle Berry at The Oscars than a football press conference. 

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I dreamt I shot Notorious B.I.G in the kitchen of a terraced house somewhere in Yorkshire. As he lay on the floor I put the gun in his hand to make it look like suicide and fled the scene attempting to cover my tracks and evade the police. As I was walking through the town centre panicking like f**k and realising I had left clues everywhere including putting the gun in his hand at an impossible angle which would prove it wasn't suicide and a staged scene, I decided to get rid of the murder weapons which had now become a couple of kitchen knives I had on me. I headed to a packed train station and walked over a footbridge between platforms which was only about 6 inches above the level of the platforms, and dropped the knives onto the tracks through a hole in the middle of the bridge. Everyone in the station heard the knives hitting the tracks and turned round to see me looking guilty as sin. Realising I was making an utter c**t of hiding my crime and the police were closing in, I rushed out the station into a massive field. 

Can't remember anything after that. 

RIP Biggie. 

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3 hours ago, Dee Man said:

I dreamt I shot Notorious B.I.G in the kitchen of a terraced house somewhere in Yorkshire.

As a fellow dreamtime serial killer, I am always more relieved on waking when my victim has been someone famous rather than a random stranger.
Knowing that a quick online search in the morning will fully corroborate the dream status of my actions is strangely comforting. 

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Mental night last night. I had one dream where I was hunting a mouse in my house, had it cornered in the bathroom but lacked anything to trap it in, and knew if I left to fetch a bucket I'd lose it again. I had another dream where I was attempting to foil a plot to kill people and turn them into small vinyl statues (48mm scale ones, not your pop-whatever ones with the massive heads) and tipped the bad guy's computer over in an effort to damage the hard drive. The final dream revolved around a traffic jam in my street (where cars always park solidly up one side, making it effectively single-carriageway) and me trying to coordinate clearing it, but just having a huge shouting match with a woman driving a massive American Dodge pickup who was holding everything up and not moving and kept getting out the truck to argue instead of just driving where I directed her.
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I garrotted Keith Chegwin in a dream a couple of weeks ago.
He was in my dream again the other night, very strange.

Last night I dreamt that I was at school with Beyonce and she was very keen on me. I knew she was married though so instead of making a move I just showed her videos of Serbia v Scotland until she got bored and fucked off.
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