Evil Neighbours Thread

[philpy]

2 hours ago, Empty It said:

2 hours ago, V.Aye.R said:

Car parking must be the most common, yet most easily avoided neighbour battle.

A mixture of generally ignorant people plus folk who give zero fvcks.

And lazy entitled c***s who think they own the street outside their house. If you can't get parked outside your house, park elsewhere and walk a couple of minutes.

This exactly.  I've got to do it quite often, as do a few others. I don't know why the idiots that double park can't do instead of blocking people in.

[Mark Connolly]

9 hours ago, welshbairn said:

I'd stick a flyer on a lamppost, purportedly from the Council, offering a reward for anyone with information regarding graffiti on their tarmac. 

Or paint yellow lines and EMERGENCY SERVICES ONLY across it

[tamthebam]

1 hour ago, Mark Connolly said:

Or paint yellow lines and EMERGENCY SERVICES ONLY across it

I thought of something similar but mine was less subtle. I'd paint "RESERVED FOR BEASTS"

[alta-pete]

More of a PTTGOYN but related to the parking, there’s a couple of houses round here who manspread their cars across the entire frontage of their plot, both narrowing the pavement and reducing the road to a single lane, and then keep their gates/driveway free and unused. Utterly bizarre behaviour. 

[Jamie_B]

On 07/08/2021 at 09:30, Empty It said:

On 07/08/2021 at 09:26, V.Aye.R said:

Car parking must be the most common, yet most easily avoided neighbour battle.

A mixture of generally ignorant people plus folk who give zero fvcks.

And lazy entitled c***s who think they own the street outside their house. If you can't get parked outside your house, park elsewhere and walk a couple of minutes.

I once was driving into work in Dundee and spotted a space on the street about a ten minute walk from the centre (near the Co-op on Brook Street for those who know the area). Pulled up just in front of it and began to reverse park, but only just started to bring the clutch out when a *edit*  Suzuki Swift *edit*  came flying in behind me and in across the space. The mad old cow behind the wheel jumped out and came up to my window telling me I wasn't allowed to park there because it was "her" space.

I asked her how, exactly, this empty, unmarked space on a back street was "hers" - she said "because I live in those flats". She literally believed that because she lived in the flats on that street she had some solid claim to the space. She then had her mate lean out the window and back up her position. It was a totally mental stand off that ended with her basically nosing her way in right up against my bumper and threatening to phone the police because I was trying to park in "her space". She wasn't claiming I was threatening or abusive or anything because I wasn't - I was actually just laughing at her - her actual complaint to the police was going to be about my attempt to park in an empty on street space.

I really wish I'd had the time to wait it out and see what happened if and when the police arrived, but I had to get to work and someone pulled out of a space 50 yards down the street so I just went into it instead. I've just checked back and I have a cracker of a picture of this woman's raging face in her Suzuki Swift, which has a little flowerpot on the dashboard. Mental.

Edited August 8, 2021 by Jamie_Beatson

[101]

1 minute ago, Jamie_Beatson said:

I have a cracker of a picture of this woman's raging face in her Suzuki Swift, which has a little flowerpot on the dashboard. Mental.

Pics or gtf

[Jamie_B]

2 minutes ago, 101 said:

Pics or gtf

 

[Sergeant Wilson]

3 minutes ago, Jamie_Beatson said:

 

You started by saying it was a Micra.

[welshbairn]

Looks like Lord Buckethead.

[Jamie_B]

21 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

You started by saying it was a Micra.

Correct, it was obviously a Swift! Both cars driven by the same type of individual in my experience!

[Sergeant Wilson]

3 minutes ago, Jamie_Beatson said:

Correct, it was obviously a Swift! Both cars driven by the same type of individual in my experience!

If you're not fast, you're last. She took decisive action while you pissed about.

[tamthebam]

Pity you don't know where she lives.

Print out fake Council headed letter:

"Dear Madam,

We are currently drawing up plans to resurface ( ) Street. As you are the current owner of the parking space in ( ) Street under the Scottish Local Government Act 1975 Schedule 5* you are liable for a percentage cost of the resurfacing.

We have calculated this to be in the region of £5745.99 and look forward to receiving your remittance within 28 days of receipt of this letter otherwise we reserve the right to take all due measures to recover the sum owed"

 

*Don't look it up, I made it up

[harry94]

I once was driving into work in Dundee and spotted a space on the street about a ten minute walk from the centre (near the Co-op on Brook Street for those who know the area). Pulled up just in front of it and began to reverse park, but only just started to bring the clutch out when a *edit*  Suzuki Swift *edit*  came flying in behind me and in across the space. The mad old cow behind the wheel jumped out and came up to my window telling me I wasn't allowed to park there because it was "her" space.
I asked her how, exactly, this empty, unmarked space on a back street was "hers" - she said "because I live in those flats". She literally believed that because she lived in the flats on that street she had some solid claim to the space. She then had her mate lean out the window and back up her position. It was a totally mental stand off that ended with her basically nosing her way in right up against my bumper and threatening to phone the police because I was trying to park in "her space". She wasn't claiming I was threatening or abusive or anything because I wasn't - I was actually just laughing at her - her actual complaint to the police was going to be about my attempt to park in an empty on street space.
I really wish I'd had the time to wait it out and see what happened if and when the police arrived, but I had to get to work and someone pulled out of a space 50 yards down the street so I just went into it instead. I've just checked back and I have a cracker of a picture of this woman's raging face in her Suzuki Swift, which has a little flowerpot on the dashboard. Mental.

There's a couple of places near the centre that have people like that and you do often hear of them vandalising without consequence.

Obviously they are under resourced but the moment someone calls the police to ramble nonsense like that, the white coats really should be dispatched. It's scary how many adults you meet who are just totally batshit.

[sonsanorak]

As a Suzuki Swift owner, I feel the need to point out bawbags drive every sort of motor and that this is a Suzuki sx4.

 

[Nkomo-A-Gogo]

41 minutes ago, harry94 said:

There's a couple of places near the centre that have people like that and you do often hear of them vandalising without consequence.

Obviously they are under resourced but the moment someone calls the police to ramble nonsense like that, the white coats really should be dispatched. It's scary how many adults you meet who are just totally batshit.

Shit can definitely escalate quickly. There will be a trial starting soon near me where a foxy lady stabbed some guy over a parking spot.  

https://m.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/woman-38-charged-with-murder-of-father-of-three-in-west-dublin-38993214.html

[Priti priti priti Patel]

26 minutes ago, Nkomo-A-Gogo said:

Shit can definitely escalate quickly. There will be a trial starting soon near me where a foxy lady stabbed some guy over a parking spot.  

https://m.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/woman-38-charged-with-murder-of-father-of-three-in-west-dublin-38993214.html

She's apparently a wee dirty with a fetish for Brian Cox fan fiction... 

I'll let you decide which Brian Cox. 

[welshbairn]

2 minutes ago, Priti priti priti Patel said:

She's apparently a wee dirty with a fetish for Brian Cox fan fiction... 

I'll let you decide which Brian Cox. 

I could make a wild guess.. 

Quote

As my orgasm subsided, my chest heaving out of breath, he released me and I flopped my head back onto the bed. My heart was thundering and I could feel beads of sweat between my breasts.

He maneuvered back up till we were face to face again, and kissed me. I cuddled into him and said “Please tell me about the Aurora again”.

“The story” he said, “starts with our sun…”

 

[tamthebam]

That would be improved by it being the other Brian Cox.

 

Playing Bob Servant

 

 

[welshbairn]

Doesn't sound like a well woman.

Quote

Anderson, with an address at Brownsbarn Wood, Kingswood, was arrested and held at Clondalkin Garda Station before being sent to the Central Mental Hospital where she has been undergoing treatment since 26 February.

https://www.thejournal.ie/christina-anderson-trial-date-set-5284797-Dec2020/

[TxRover]

On 07/08/2021 at 03:14, Hedgecutter said:

FWIW, I saw this about an hour ago and still have "owner of a purple car" in my head (to the tune of Yes' Owner of a Lonely Heart).

But have you located this particular spot yet is what we want to know.